Chapter 5 KAY’LO MENSAH
Trill-Land, ‘LoLux Estate
I looked down at Toni’s bitch ass uncle’s head layin’ on the floor and felt nothin’ but relief.
That nigga had it comin’. I ain’t lose sleep over that.
I ain’t feel no guilt, no second thoughts or no wonders about right or wrong.
I did what a real husband supposed to do, and I sent them bounty hunters to Greystone City without blinkin’ ‘cause a nigga like Darnell ain’t deserve to breathe the same air as my wife ever again.
But when I lifted my eyes, Toni was pressed up against the far wall like her heart was tryna jump out her chest. Her hands was shakin’, and her big eyes kept bouncin’ from me to the head like she couldn’t decide which one scared her more.
For a second, that bothered me. Not ‘cause of what I did, but ‘cause I ain’t want her fear aimed at me. I always wanted her close. I always wanted her calm when she touched me. I always wanted her to feel safe with me even when I was losin’ it behind the scenes.
“Toni,” I muttered, my voice low as hell while I took a slow step toward her.
Her lips trembled. She was breathin’ heavy, and her chest was movin’ fast like she was tryna hold herself together, but her mind was runnin’ all over the place. She looked like she wanted to ask me a million questions at once but didn’t know where to start.
I glanced down at the head one more time, the blood dryin’ across the marble floor, then I looked right back at her. I ain’t hide none of my emotions. I let her see exactly how far I went for her, and I let her see how unbothered I was about it.
The nigga deserved it. That was that.
I moved closer, and slow enough for her to feel me comin’ but not fast enough to make her jump. I didn’t want her flinchin’ from me ‘cause my heart couldn’t take it. I wanted her meltin’ every time she looked at me.
“Toni,” I said again, softer this time.
She swallowed and whispered, “‘Lo…”
The way she said it made somethin’ in me calm down. Even scared, she came to me. Even terrified, she trusted me enough to speak my name like it meant safety. Her voice was light, but it was mine. It belonged to me.
I lifted my hand and touched her cheek. She didn’t pull away. She just blinked up at me with those watery eyes that always got me caught up. I slid my thumb under her chin and made her look at me fully.
“I love you,” I told her. I mean that from my soul. “You hear me?”
Her whole face crumbled with confusion and fear and love all mixed up together. She whispered, “Why you do that, ‘Lo? Why you… why you go that far?”
I stared right into her eyes, lettin’ her see the truth without sugarcoatin’ it. “Why not?”
She gasped, and her eyes flicked toward that nigga’s head again. I leaned in closer so she had no choice but to keep her focus on me.
“That nigga hurt you,” I said, my voice droppin’ even lower. “He hurt you when you was a child, and then he tried to come at me. He tried to come at us. He tried to take me from you. So I took him off this earth before he could even think about touchin’ what’s mine again.”
She let out a shaky sound that almost broke me in half, but I wasn’t lettin’ her fall. Not away from me.
“Toni, look at me,” I said, liftin’ her chin again.
When her eyes finally met mine, I felt somethin’ snap inside of me in a way that felt dangerous and peaceful at the same time.
She was scared, but she was still standin’ right here with me.
She didn’t run. She didn’t scream for help.
She didn’t slap me or curse me out. She stayed.
That meant more to me than she would ever understand.
“You my wife,” I murmured. “That mean somethin’ to me. And if I gotta move mountains or bodies to keep you good, then that’s what I’m doin’. I ain’t askin’ nobody’s permission.”
She shook her head, tears spillin’ out. “But, ‘Lo… this is crazy. This is—”
I cut her off real gentle but real firm. “Crazy is what kept me alive my whole life. Crazy is what kept me standin’. Crazy is what keep you safe. And crazy is what’s gon’ keep every threat away from you forever.”
Her lips parted a lil’, like she ain’t know what to say, and I stepped even closer until her back touched the wall. I wasn’t crowdin’ her to scare her. I was crowdin’ her ‘cause I needed her to feel me and not the fear, the shock, or the dead nigga on the floor. I wanted her to feel her husband.
“You scared?” I asked, my voice low and honest.
She hesitated. Then she whispered, “Yeah… but I’m scared to lose you more.”
That right there did somethin’ wild to me.
I slid my hand to the back of her neck’ leaned down and pulled her close until our foreheads touched.
She was breathin’ fast, and I was breathin’ deep, and even though this moment was surrounded by death and darkness, it felt like the realest shit I ever lived through.
“You ain’t never losin’ me,” I whispered. “You stuck with me. Through anything. You understand?”
Her bottom lip trembled. “I understand.”
I pulled back just enough to look at her fully. Her eyes was still watery, but there was somethin’ else there now. It was somethin’ that looked a lot like surrender, and not on no weak shit. It was how she was choosin’ me with her whole soul even though she knew I came with chaos.
“You with me?” I asked.
She nodded slowly. “I’m with you.”
“Nah,” I murmured. “Say it right.”
She blinked. “’Lo…”
“Tell me you with me,” I said, my voice sinkin’ into a tone that made her bite her lip. “Tell me you mine and you ridin’ with me through whatever come next. Tell me you with me the same way I’m with you.”
She pressed her hands against my chest, her voice real soft but real sure. “I’m with you, ‘Lo. Through anything. Through all yo’ crazy. Through everything you come with. I’m yours.”
That was the moment everything inside me quieted down.
All the noise in my head, all the impulses, all the anger, all the shit that usually made me feel like I was spiralin’ finally dropped into silence.
Toni was my calm. She was the only person who could touch the chaotic shit without gettin’ burned.
I pulled her even closer and kissed her with everything I had. It wasn’t no gentle kiss either. It was deep, hungry, and full of every emotion we just threw on the table. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and I held her by her waist like I was scared to let her go. And I was…
When I finally pulled back, she was breathin’ hard and her eyes was glazed over with that look that told me she wasn’t scared no more. Not of me or what I did. She was scared of what life would be like without me, and that was exactly what I needed her to feel.
I slid my thumb across her jaw. “We movin’ forward now,” I whispered. “Ain’t no goin’ back. You my wife. I’m your man, and we livin’ life exactly how we want.”
She nodded, leanin’ into me. “Okay, ‘Lo.”
I kissed her again, softer this time, then pulled her close against my chest. In that moment, it didn’t matter that there was a head on the floor or blood on the marble. All that mattered was us.
“We in this together,” I murmured into her hair. “Ride with me, Toni.”
She closed her eyes and whispered, “I’m here.”
And that was all I needed to hear…
That evenin’, Pressure, Renza and Pluto slid to the crib and we kicked shit off like it was a whole celebration.
This was the first time everybody was at my mansion, and even though I played it cool, inside I was feelin’ like a king showin’ off his castle.
I had spent so much time livin’ with Pressure while this place was bein’ rebuilt, and now everything was done.
Every wall, every gold trim, every black marble floor, every speaker installed up top and out back and every piece of furniture brought in just to match the dark vibe I like.
I finally had my own crib, and it felt good as hell to see my family walk through the doors like it belonged to them too.
Toni and Pluto was in the kitchen when we walked in, pots goin’, seasonin’ in the air, and lil’ baby Kaylon sleepin’ in a carrier on the counter.
Pluto had the soft music on from her phone, Toni was talkin’ shit while stirrin’ somethin’, and the whole kitchen felt warm and peaceful.
Kaylon was only three weeks, but he already had that lil’ presence that made the whole room hush around him.
Pluto scooped him up and smiled. “Kay’Lo, you want him first?”
“Hell yeah,” I said, takin’ him real gentle. “Don’t ever play with me like I ain’t his god-daddy for real.”
She laughed and kissed his cheek before handin’ him over. Pressure stepped behind her, slid his hand across her hip and kissed her neck, then smirked when he saw me holdin’ the baby.
“You better watch his head, nigga,” Pressure said, even though he knew I already was.
“Man, I got my boy,” I muttered, rockin’ Kaylon. “Don’t start with me today. I better be able to see him whenever the fuck I feel like it. This my godson, nigga.”
Pressure grinned that cocky, unbothered grin of his. “Relax, nigga. Ain’t nobody keepin’ him away from you.”
Renza walked in behind us and peered down at the baby like he was lookin’ at somethin’ too tiny to trust. “Aye, that lil’ nigga gotta hit at least six months before I’m pickin’ him up. He look like he still remember bein’ in the womb. I ain’t pickin’ him up just for him to break in my hands.”
We all busted out laughin’. Even Kaylon made a lil’ grunt like he was tired of Renza’s shit already.
The weather outside was perfect, warm with a cool breeze movin’ through the backyard.
We headed out back with our drinks, and I held Kaylon against my chest while Pressure watched his son with that quiet pride he always tried to hide.
He and Pluto fronted like they wasn’t soft as hell about their new baby, but I saw it.
It was written all over them. Pressure was smitten and couldn’t even pretend otherwise.
“Give him here,” Pluto said after a while, walkin’ outside. She had that glow goin’, that softness new mamas get. “He gettin’ hungry.”
I kissed Kaylon’s tiny forehead before handin’ him over. “A’ight, lil’ man. Go on back to ya mama.”
Pressure reached for Pluto, pulled her close with one hand and held his son with the other, kissin’ her slow. Then he smacked her ass as she walked away, talkin’ ‘bout, “Bring my son back full, girl.”
She rolled her eyes and walked in the house, but she was smilin’. Pressure watched her walk away like she was the only person on earth. Renza side–eyed him.
“She got yo’ ass trained, huh?”
Pressure grabbed his drink. “Nigga, mind ya damn business.”
Me and Renza cracked up.
Now that the baby was gone, we turned up a lil’.
I turned the speaker system on, the outside ones that surround the whole backyard, and some hood RnB trap mix started playin’, just how I like it.
Renza grabbed the weed and I grabbed the papers.
Pressure poured us more drinks. The vibe was immaculate.
After a few minutes of laughin’ and smokin’, I finally decided to speak on it.
“Aye,” I said, takin’ a slow drag, “Toni was scared as fuck at first ‘bout that head situation.”
Pressure lifted his cup a lil’. “Nigga, anybody would be.”
Renza shook his head and sipped his liquor. “Hell yeah she was scared, nigga. Y’all wild as hell for that one. I’m still mad I got dragged into it.”
“You volunteered,” I said.
“The fuck I did,” Renza said. “I only went on that mission ‘cause y’all niggas stayin’ boo’d up. Pressure busy changin’ diapers and you busy breakin’ in ya mansion with your wife. Somebody had to handle that shit. You the goat.”
Pressure smirked. “You handled it, though.”
Renza’s chest puffed up just a lil’. He liked hearin’ that. “I mean, yeah. We found that nigga, got him gone, then had my people take him to the chop shop. Shit was light work.”
I nodded. “I appreciate you, for real.”
Renza pointed at me with his cup. “Just don’t call me next time. Nigga, I got a life too. Damn.”
Pressure cracked a grin. “Man, shut yo’ goofy ass up.”
Renza took another sip and shrugged. “All I’m sayin’ is, y’all owe me. I’m out here killin’ molesters while y’all at home kissin’ on y’all women.”
I clinked my glass against his. “And we love you for it.”
Pressure leaned back in his chair. “Nigga had it comin’. Ain’t nobody losin’ sleep over that.”
The conversation rolled on from there, talkin’ about business, talkin’ about family, talkin’ about how life had done changed but we was still the same niggas underneath it all. Hours went by, smooth and easy with the kind of night that made you feel grateful to be alive.
Then Pluto came out and said dinner was ready.
We went inside, and when I say Toni put her foot in that food, I meant that shit.
The whole kitchen smelled like heaven. She had fried chicken, baked mac and cheese, collard greens with smoked turkey, yams with that caramelized top, cornbread, and a pan of rice dressed with gravy sittin’ off to the side.
Everything was hot and lookin’ like love on a plate.
We sat around the table and dug in. Everybody was laughin’, talkin’, drinkin’ and passin’ plates and bowls around.
Pressure and Pluto kept makin’ faces at each other.
Renza was talkin’ too loud like he always do.
Kaylon had finished eatin’ and was knocked out on Pluto’s chest. It felt like family. It felt solid.
But the whole time, my eyes kept driftin’ to Toni.
She sat next to me with that soft lil’ smile she only get when she with me.
Every now and then, I reached over and grabbed her hand, kissin’ the back of it real slow.
She looked up at me like she already knew what I was sayin’ without me sayin’ nothin’ at all.
We was speakin’ our own language right at the table, and even though earlier had been intense as fuck with the head and all that, she still looked at me like she trusted me with her whole life.
I leaned over and whispered against her ear, lettin’ my lips brush her skin. “I’m bout to kick everybody out so I can get in you.”
She smiled, tryna hide her face, but her eyes told the truth. She felt that. I kissed her cheek and winked.
Pressure stayed a lil’ longer, had a few more drinks, and him and Pluto dipped with the baby. Renza rolled out right after them, still talkin’ shit as he left.
Once the door closed behind them, I looked at Toni.
She looked right back at me. She already knew what time it was.
And I walked toward her slow, feelin’ that familiar heat rise in my chest, ready to show my wife exactly how much I loved her.