Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Rome
I dropped her hand after a few minutes, and the moment I did, I missed how her skin felt against mine. That was a terrible idea because now I want more .
I want to see where things may lead with us, but I can’t for several reasons. The first reason is my deep-rooted fear that she’ll up and leave me when I’m falling too deep. The second reason is football. I need to focus this year, especially with the NFL draft. The third, and possibly most important reason, is Zack. That guy is my best friend. What would he think of me if I went behind his back and went after his sister? How would he react? He’d probably kick my ass. It doesn’t matter that I’m twice his size. Zack Willows would pummel me senseless, and I would let him. Friends don’t do that to friends, no matter how deep the feelings may run.
I pull into the Waylens’ driveway and leave the car running, stealing a glimpse at the woman in my hoodie. Even in the dark, she radiates pure light. She’s playing with her thumbs and chewing on her lower lip. I’d give anything to weave my hands in her curls and pull her close. The desire to have her lips on mine starts to cloud my judgment.
With a soft sigh, Chrissy unzips the hoodie and frees her arms. “Thanks again,” she says with a sweet yet sad smile.
“No problem.” I take the jacket, and another moment of silence passes.
“See you on Saturday?” she asks as she opens the car door, preparing to hop out.
Stay, don’t go, not yet. The words build in my throat, but I swallow them down. Instead, I give her a simple reply. “Absolutely.”
And then she’s gone. She walks up to Ash’s home while I silently beg her to look over her shoulder. When the door opens, she enters with her head down. Zack pops his head out to wave goodbye. I raise my hand and put the car in reverse, wishing I had the guts to go after what I desperately want but can never have.
I don’t turn the radio on during the drive back. I listen to the wind until I pull into the parking lot of my apartment complex. After grabbing my bag, I lock up my car and head inside. Taking the stairs, I climb four flights before I reach my door. When I open it, the smell of home greets me, and I can’t help but feel relaxed.
I don’t have a roommate, so I walk into silence daily, which isn’t terrible. Most nights, I come home after practice and pass out. Today, though, I wish I had someone to keep me company. Someone who would talk my ear off, and I would return the favor. Someone who would laugh at my jokes and hold me in their arms as we lie in bed. Someone who would love me for me.
Walking across the gray carpet, I make the right into my bedroom. I turn on the box fan by the door for white noise and plop into bed face-first. Focusing on the fan’s blades, I tune out my surroundings and fall deep into my subconscious.
“Where are you going?” I ask, trailing after Mom as she carries an oversized bag to the front door.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon.” She kneels before me and swipes my hair away from my forehead.
“But where are you going?” I sniffle as tears stream from my eyes.
Mom smiles and wipes my face dry. “I just need a little vacation. Dad will take good care of you while I’m gone.”
“But he doesn’t know our routine,” I whine.
“Teach him.”
“But, Mom ? —”
She interrupts me by kissing my head and wrapping her arms around me. “I love you, my little troublemaker.” Her voice breaks, and when she pulls back, her eyes are watery. “Be good for Dad.”
“But, Mom ? —”
My body jolts like it’s falling, and I gasp for air. Fuck, when did I fall asleep? With a groan, I check my phone, squinting at the blinding light. 5:43. I have to be up in seventeen minutes for my morning run.
Sitting up, I run my fingers through my hair. Eyeing the fan, I suddenly feel like it’s my enemy instead of a calming white noise machine. My skin starts to itch, and the walls begin to expand, reminding me I’m all alone. What would it be like waking up at Ash’s this morning?
Knowing Ash, he would sleep in until noon. So, Gwen, Chrissy, and Max would be cooking breakfast in the kitchen. They would pull Ash out of bed so that they could all eat together.
“You’re always welcome to our outings.” Chrissy’s words slice through my dark thoughts.
My lips quirk into a half-witted grin as an idea surfaces.
Fuck the run, I have a different set of plans for today.