Chapter 10 Stevie
ten
Stevie
Three Weeks Later
The front door sticks like always.
I jam it with my shoulder, bracing for the screech, and step into the usual band chaos.
Gone are the days when Felicity was a quiet mouse.
Today, she’s perched on the arm of the sunken couch, yammering on about the need for dressing rooms so she can do her makeup.
Linus sits nearby, unbothered, a mug of black tea in one hand, the other absentmindedly circling Liam’s thigh.
Liam is buried in his phone, trying to ignore her.
Padraig glances up from the dining table, where the band’s entire summer plans are stacked in chaotic piles of paper. Open spreadsheets. Wrinkled itineraries. Load in print-outs. Burrito wrappers. He smiles when he sees me and takes a swig from the dented metal water bottle he never washes.
“Hey, babe.” He waves me over.
“Stevie, I’m glad you’re here,” Linus drawls. Calm. Even though I’m twenty minutes late.
I don’t bother to make an excuse. Instead, I take the last chair between Padraig and a half-eaten carton of pad Thai. Open my laptop. Nod to Linus and pretend to focus on my screen while I’m mentally questioning everything about the current state of affairs.
It’s been a couple weeks since Linus moved in. Liam never asked us for permission, his stuff gradually migrated into the house and now he lives here. Neither Padraig nor I ever questioned it. We don’t mind at all.
He’s the best roommate. Courteous. Cleans up after himself. Doesn’t raise his voice. Doesn’t insert himself into anyone’s business. He’s like a walking exhale.
Felicity isn’t quite as supportive.
In a fit of rage, she vented to Padraig about how she and Liam fucked and she doesn’t deserve to be treated like a whore.
We asked Liam about it but he wouldn’t give details.
Typical. All he’d say was he told her it was a one-time thing and she didn’t accept it so he cut off all non-band interaction.
Unfortunately, his rejection has flipped an internal switch Felicity hasn’t been able to shut off.
She’s borderline obsessed with, I dunno, getting him to change his mind?
It’s been hard to ignore. Ever since she joined the band, she always angled to be close to him.
Now, it’s relentless. In the house, at rehearsals.
Brushes past him in the kitchen like it’s accidental.
Watching him with wide, expectant eyes waiting for some acknowledgement that he never returns.
Hangs off him like a blanket on stage when he can’t do anything about it.
He never encourages her attention, so I was surprised he admitted fucking her. It makes sense why he hasn’t engaged for so long. He’ll be polite if she talks to him, but doesn’t flirt. Or coddle. Never makes any small talk. He treats her politely, like a business colleague he’s not friends with.
His attention is elsewhere now. Liam lights up around Linus. Laughs deeply, in a way I haven’t heard since before Rory’s accident. There’s no second-guessing. No self-destruction. He’s able to be himself and I, for one, am happy to see it.
I get why Felicity feels hurt. At the same time her diva-like behavior is becoming a distraction.
I’m snapped back to the band meeting when Liam tosses his phone on the couch. “Stevie. We’re two weeks out. Have we received tech specs for the California dates?”
“Oh, aye. I’ve got San Francisco and Sacramento squared,” Linus jumps in. “Waiting on the load-in time for LA and San Diego, though.”
Padraig leans forward, forearms braced on the table. “What about confirmation in Seattle? That’ll be the biggest local crowd we’ve had. Connor might play a couple of songs with us, so it’s important.”
“I’ll email the manager again.” Linus glances up.
Felicity studies her fingernails. “Stevie, did you confirm the radio appearances?”
The silence in the room is instant. All eyes are on me.
I blink. “What?”
“Remember? You’re handling the radio.” Liam glances between Linus and me, confusion giving way to quiet irritation.
“When did I say that?” I try to stay calm despite the oppressive weight of disappointing the twins again taking hold. “I remember telling you I didn’t have time to make the calls. My midterm presentation is all-consuming.”
Padraig sticks up for me, as always. “It’s okay, babe. We’ll figure it out.”
“Well…” Felicity shrugs, tossing her hair over one shoulder. “I don’t know why you’re even coming to band meetings anymore. Linus handles everything and Padraig covers for you. If you’re so busy, maybe you should step down.”
Resisting the urge to get bitchy, I patiently remind her, “I’ll do what I can but I don’t need to step down from a job I don’t have. I am not Fireball’s manager. Besides, I won’t be here for the tour anyway.”
The entire room goes silent. In my state of shock, I realize I’ve blurted out some news I’d intended on sharing with only Padraig. Now I’ve blindsided him, and the rest of the band.
Liam tilts his head. “Wait. What?”
“Shit. I didn’t mean to tell you guys this way.” I inhale, slow. “So…I heard back from César Ritz.”
A beat.
Then two.
Padraig’s brows knit together. “As in…the school in Switzerland? You said they wait-listed you.”
“Yeah.” I look over at him sheepishly. “It was a nearly impossible long-shot, but a spot opened up and I’m in.”
“For what?” Liam straightens like I’ve slapped him.
“An immersive internship for hospitality.” I bite my lip and look down. “I can’t say no. It’s too prestigious. I’ll be gone for about six months.”
Padraig flinches but maintains his composure in front of the others. “When?”
“Two weeks. The session runs through the end of the year. It’s the best program in Europe for hospitality leadership.” I gulp down my excitement because I know this is a lot to take in and my delivery has been atrocious.
Out of the corner of my eye I notice Felicity doesn’t even pretend to hide her smile. She’s not sad about me not being around. That much is clear.
Linus closes his iPad and meets my eyes. “Stevie. How incredible. A great opportunity, so it is.”
“Thanks,” I murmur, though I can feel the vibes in the room aren’t quite as supportive.
Liam doesn’t bother to hide his irritation. “Fuck me. Were you going to tell Padraig before the van pulled out?”
“That’s not fair. I got the email right before I got here.” I slouch down in my chair a bit.
Liam presses his knuckles to his forehead, exasperated. “Well, as much as I hate to admit it, Felicity has a point. You’re out, Stevie. No hard feelings, but Fireball needs stability.”
I don’t know what to say. He’s right. And, other than my bad timing, I’m excited to do something else. Adulting sucks sometimes.
“You don’t make the call for all of us, Dar,” Padraig mumbles despondently. “Stevie’s an important part of the band.”
Liam looks between us.
“No, they’re both right. You don’t need to stick up for me.
All of you are committed to Fireball, but I have my own career to think about.
” It comes sharper than I mean to, possibly because Padraig doesn’t seem to hear me whenever we talk about it.
“Managing Fireball isn’t my dream. It doesn’t fill me up the way it does all of you. ”
Hurt flashes in Padraig’s eyes, but he masks it quickly. “So you decided, then. You are going?”
“Yes. I want this internship. As much as I love you guys, I don’t want to spend the summer in a van eating string cheese and gas station burritos, pretending it’s my passion.” I try to take the sting out with a little humor.
It doesn’t land.
Linus clears his throat gently. “Would you like me to take over officially?”
I turn to him, startled. “It’s not my call.”
“Just a thought.” He shrugs, casual but not careless. He addresses the others. “She’s done so much for youse but if she’ll be gone for so long… Look. I know logistics. I’m happy to do it.”
In an instant the vibes shift.
Probably from the weight of how things are changing, settling in.
Padraig stares at the floor. Felicity simmers. Liam nods slowly.
Not the ideal way to start a new job, but at least the band’s in good hands.
An hour later after handing off everything to Linus, I close the bedroom door behind me, Padraig plunks down on the edge of the bed, elbows braced to his knees, phone in one hand, the other runs through his hair in slow drags.
He doesn’t say anything right away. Neither do I.
After a quick trip to the bathroom, I peel off my clothes and climb into bed. The silence between us is loud.
“I’m so confused. You downplayed this thing,” he accuses.
“No.” I turn to face him. “It was a long shot. I was afraid to hope too hard.”
He looks up then. Eyes sharp. “Really?”
I don’t answer.
Padraig pushes to his feet. “You haven’t mentioned it in weeks. How could you tell me like that? In front of everyone? This doesn’t only affect the band, it affects us.”
“I’m sorry. Really.” I sit back against my pillow. “I was put on the spot out there and it slipped out.”
“You couldn’t tell me first? Privately?” He knots his eyebrows together.
I take a breath. “Obviously, I didn’t mean for it to happen in front of the others.”
“Are you sure?” He laughs under his breath. “Were you worried how I’d react, Stevie? I’m pissed. I thought we were in this together.”
“You know we’re in this together.” I attempt to persuade him.
He paces a few steps, then turns back. “Do I?”
“Don’t do that.” I shake my head.
“Don’t do what?” His voice rises, not loud, but tight. “Don’t be upset you’re bailing on me?”
“I’m not bailing on you. I’m bailing on managing the band.” I wince at the implication.
He steps closer. “It’s the same thing.”
“No. This is called a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Something that makes sense for my future. I didn’t think I’d get in, Padraig.
” I throw my hands in the air, frustrated.
“I’ve supported you unconditionally for fucking years and for once I want to do something for me. Maybe extend me the same courtesy?”