Scott #2
She slammed her earrings on the bedside table and gave me a look that said I was being awfully dumb.
“Just your existence was pressure. Any mention of the Sebastian name—and the Sebastian name is everywhere in New York City—and all I could think about was this looming, life-changing decision I had to make. It was suffocating, Scott. I had to go someplace off the map, cut off from everything and everyone in order to be able to even think clearly.”
I was well aware of how hard it was to run from the Sebastian name.
Still, I couldn’t help but think her response to what had been presented to her as the opportunity of a lifetime was both over-the-top and spoiled.
Which was neither here nor there and not what I wanted to be mad about, and I definitely wanted to be mad.
“So you had to decide, fine. But you should have talked to me about it when you did decide so that I knew what tonight was going to be when I got the invite—excuse me, the command—to show up here. I walked in blind, Kendra. You wearing the ring, flashing it for everyone. Introducing me to your employees and friends as your fiancé. I didn’t even get the invite from you.
I heard from my fucking mother. What the hell? ”
She shrugged. “Technically, she’s the one who proposed.”
“That’s not the fucking point.” My voice was barely restrained. I was barely restrained. I wanted to smash my hand through the wall. Or throw something. Preferably, that ostentatious ring. Bonus if Kendra was still wearing it when I did.
My rage must have been evident because Kendra actually looked sorry.
“Look. I don’t know what the big deal is.
Your family made an offer, one that you seemed to be fully behind at the time, and now I’ve accepted it.
Your parents sure seemed happy that I did.
I didn’t realize there had to be a big to-do between me and you about it.
What does it even matter? We already said we’re going to fuck who we want in our marriage, and I can’t think of anything else this partnership would affect, so why does this change anything? ”
“It just does.” She had every right to be confused.
I was confused as well. It wasn’t as if I had ever thought I’d end up with someone I loved.
Shit, I didn’t even know what love was. And with the agreement that we could fuck who we wanted, there really wasn’t any reason why getting married would affect my current lifestyle.
That had been my thought back when I’d agreed to the whole thing anyway.
Now, though, there was Tess.
“Hold on. Are you having second thoughts?” Kendra’s expression said she hadn’t even considered that as a possibility.
The smart answer was to say no. The smart course of action was to stick to the agreement. It was definitely not smart to throw away my life plans for a woman I’d only known for three weeks.
“Yes, actually. I am.” So fuck being smart. It was honest.
Her brows creased in. “But what about—”
“I know,” I cut her off. “I know what’s on the fucking line. I don’t need the reminder.” I got it enough from my parents on a daily basis. I didn’t need it from my wife-to-be as well.
Potential wife-to-be.
Even adding the qualifier didn’t make the term any less nauseating.
Fortunately, Kendra was more understanding now that I’d admitted I was rethinking our agreement. “Okay. What do you need?”
I needed to get my head on straight, was what I needed. I needed to clear my mind of romantic notions that were obviously based in lust. I needed to stop being so stupid.
I needed to stop thinking that thing I needed was Tess.
“I need time,” I said, echoing what Kendra had said the day my parents had first proposed the idea of our union. Not that time would change the situation, but I couldn’t discuss it anymore with her tonight. She couldn’t fix what I needed her to fix even if I did.
I wasn’t sure anyone could.
“Where’s my room?” I asked, suddenly exhausted.
“We’re both in here,” she said, standing.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Only now did I spot my suitcase across the room, on the other side of the bed.
The butler had taken it when I’d arrived.
I’d assumed he’d taken it to my own room.
It wasn’t like Kendra and I needed to keep up pretenses for anyone in the household.
Her parents knew as well as mine it was a marriage of convenience, not attraction. Why on earth had we been put together?
“You don’t need to be so disgusted,” she said, wriggling out of her dress. “We’ve fucked before, or was that as easy to forget as our engagement?”
“Under totally different circumstances. We aren’t even friends, Kendra.
” I kept my eyes on hers, even though she was stripped down to her underwear.
It wasn’t that she didn’t have a nice body—she did—and the night we’d spent together had been fine enough.
Just, I wasn’t interested. “I’m not sleeping with you. ”
“Well, there are no rooms,” she said, grabbing a pair of pajama shorts from a dresser drawer and slamming it shut. “The Uyghur triplets have the rooms in the opposite wing. Then your parents and Tess; this is the only room left.”
So Tess was in this wing. The closed door we’d passed. My spine tingled with the knowledge, like an antenna receiving an incoming message or the buzz of an appliance when it was plugged in.
I didn’t bother getting my suitcase. There was really nothing I needed in it. I left Kendra’s room, telling her, “I’ll sleep on a couch.”
I had absolutely no intention of sleeping on a couch.