—Autumn—
Then
This was the first time I was going to see Julian since he’d kissed me two weeks ago. I still felt his mouth on my lips, and sometimes I’d catch myself touching them to feel him all over again. I couldn’t wait to see him. I was wearing a yellow maxi dress, anxiously waiting for his arrival.
It was my seventeenth birthday, and my parents were throwing me a huge party. I knew he’d be here. He wouldn’t miss it.
“Honey, you look amazing,” Mom announced, coming into my bedroom. “Where did my little girl go?”
I smiled. I did look older, and I felt older too.
Would Julian notice?
“Your brother was looking for you.”
“What did he want?”
“He said something about Julian’s date.”
It was as if a pile of bricks fell right on my head. “Julian’s date?”
“I know.” She chuckled. “Maybe he will actually settle down with this one for a little while. Who knows. I stopped trying to keep track of all his dates when he turned sixteen, but I swear he’s been a heartbreaker since he was a little boy.”
I wanted to cry.
“Are you okay?”
Our eyes connected. “Yeah.”
“Honey, you look like you’ve seen a ghost. You’re so pale. What happened?”
“Nothing.” I turned around, trying to hide my pain.
“Was it something I said? Are you upset with your brother? Is it Julian?”
“It’s nothing, Mom.”
“Sweetie, it doesn’t look like nothing to me. Talk to me. What’s going on?”
“I just think Julian hasn’t met the right girl yet. That’s all. I think you need to give him more credit than his bedhopping ways.”
“Autumn,” Christian announced, and our stares snapped in his direction. He was leaning against the doorframe of my bedroom. He looked so handsome, wearing a gray button-down and black slacks.
“You clean up nice,” I remarked, smiling.
“Don’t try to change the subject. Do you really think Julian is ever going to settle down?”
I shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Oh, come on!” He laughed. “You can’t be serious! Julian Locke? My best friend? The biggest womanizer from here to Dallas? He’s going to die an eternal bachelor. Trust me. I live with him, and he brings home different women all the time. Just last weekend, he brought home two.”
Last weekend?
I wanted to ask Christian so many things. The pain of hearing Julian had been with not one, but two women since he’d kissed me was an agony I wasn’t expecting. And now, he was bringing a date to my birthday party.
My heart clenched, making it almost hard to breathe as I tried not to fall apart in front of my mother and brother.
“Christian!” Mom exclaimed. “I don’t want to know that. I just hope he’s being safe. With all the diseases and pregnancy, you need to make sure he’s wrapping it up.”
“Mom, he’s been wrapping it up since Dad gave him condoms when he was thirteen after he found a girl in Julian’s room.”
“A girl here?” I asked, taken back.
“Yeah.” He nodded, chuckling. “Just ask Mom how many times they found a girl in his room.”
“Too many to count and remember.”
It was blow after blow, and I didn’t have a clue as to how I was still standing.
“Autumn, why do you look so upset?”
“It’s nothing, Christian.”
“It’s not nothing. Do you have a crush on him or something?”
I knew he wouldn’t let this go—his overprotectiveness wouldn’t allow it.
“Of course not.” I wish it was only a crush. “I’m just shocked you’re talking about him like this. He’s your best friend.”
“I’m not saying anything to you I haven’t already said to him. Julian is well aware of what I think about him and women. He treats them like shit. You’re too good for him, Autumn. Besides, he’d never do that to me. He knows that you’re off-limits.”
“Now you’re telling guys I’m off-limits?”
“No, just him.”
Those three littles words made my head spin.
Is that why he abruptly stopped hanging out with me?
“Oh, honey.” Mom smiled. “Julian is like another son to us, and she’s like his little sister. He would never…” She giggled, eyeing Christian. “You’re being ridiculous. Protect your sister from everything, but you don’t need to worry yourself over Julian and Autumn. She’s family to him.”
I couldn’t listen to this anymore. “Guests are starting to arrive, Mom.”
She stood, kissed my cheek and left, but to my disappointment, my brother didn’t follow.
Hoping he’d catch a clue, I remarked, “I need to finish getting ready.”
“I’m being serious, Autumn. If you do have a crush on Julian, you need to forget about him. When it comes to women, he couldn’t care less about them. The last thing I want is for you to be another notch on his belt. I’ll tell you right now, if he broke your heart, I’d fucking kill him.”
“Christian!”
“What? Why does that surprise you? It’s my job to protect you.”
“I know, but you don’t have to be so scary about it.”
Pushing off the doorframe, he warned, “Don’t give me a reason to.”
I should have stopped him.
I should have told him.
It could have changed our future, but I didn’t. Instead, I watched him leave. My pain overruling our reality. In fact, it won in the end. I did the only thing that made sense to me in a moment purely driven by my chaotic emotions.
I went to look for Julian, finding him downstairs by the bar. A date by his side. I couldn’t believe he had the balls to bring someone with him. Of course, she was gorgeous.
Long blonde hair.
Legs for days.
A rack the size of my head.
She was dressed in a tight skirt and bodysuit, emphasizing her perfect figure.
I’d never felt more like a child than I did when he reached around her waist and kissed her.
The truth of who he was staring me right in the face.
With his lips still on her mouth, he locked eyes with me for a minute as though he felt my presence from across the crowded room.
Maybe he felt my pain.
I didn’t look at her at all, not for one second. However, I was the first to break our connection. If I didn’t, I would have blown up on him in front of everyone.
Our family.
My parents.
Christian.
The party went off without a hitch. Well into the night, there were still hundreds of people dancing, drinking, socializing. I tried to have fun, but my eyes kept wandering toward Julian and his date.
He was caressing her face.
Whispering things in her ear.
Kissing her lips.
Holding her close to him.
He was trying to prove a point, and I couldn’t fathom the reason for his actions, so I left. I went out into the woods behind our house, needing air, needing space, needing to break the fuck down.
“What an asshole!” I shouted into the forest, kicking a rock, except it wasn’t a rock.
It was a stone rooted into the ground. “Ow!” My foot instantly started aching, and I fell to the dirt.
“Great, now my dress is ruined too.” I took off my heel—the nail of my big toe had sliced in half, and blood was oozing off my skin.
“Shit, kid.”
His voice caught in the wind, and my furious glare met his concerned expression. “Get away from me.”
He stopped dead in his tracks.
“Go back inside to whatever girl you’re sleeping with tonight.”
“Do you think if she mattered to me, I’d be out here for you?”
Unable to resist, I sassed, “Two girls at once last week, huh? Must have been quite a night for you.”
He gripped onto the back of his neck, bowing his head.
“I can’t believe you brought a date to my birthday party after you stole my first kiss! Well, guess what? I want it back!”
“If I could, I would.”
Talk about a dagger to my heart.
“I had no business stealing that from you.”
His expression quickly turned desolate, and I lashed out, “I thought you said I was your number one girl? If you treat me like this, I can’t imagine how you treat all the other women you sleep with.”
With a neutral expression, he informed, “I don’t cuddle. They never spend the night. I fuck them, Autumn. It’s that plain and simple.”
I grabbed a rock and chucked it at his head, but he ducked. “You shameless bastard!”
“Keep your voice down.”
“Why? No one can hear me! Is the truth too hard for you to hear, Julian?”
He disregarded my outburst, crouching in front of me. “Let me help you. You’re bleeding.”
I pushed him, and since he wasn’t expecting it, he fell back onto the grass.
Powerless to control my anger, I lunged at him.
“You fucking asshole!” Hitting his chest with all the strength I could muster, I yelled out my frustration, “I hate you! I hate you!” I repeated, wanting it to become part of him as I slammed my fists into his torso.
“You’re right! I am a fucking asshole, and you need to stay away from me.”
“You’re the one who followed me out here! Just like you followed me out into the woods with Daniel! You’re the one who kissed me, remember?”
He knocked me senseless, professing, “How could I forget? It was the only kiss that has ever mattered to me.”