—Autumn—
We were sitting in Locke’s private jet, and I was in the seat furthest away from him.
Between everything that had happened at the photoshoot three days ago and then ending it with us running into the woman he’d brought to my seventeenth birthday party, I needed some serious space.
The last two days were jam-packed with press interviews, and there was no time left over to discuss us.
Thank God.
Today was going to be hard enough. It was probably the hardest day we’d confronted on this tour so far. The timing was shit, seeing as I didn’t want to talk about the past, and there we were, going to face it head-on.
Fort Worth, Texas.
Julian Locke was coming home for the first time in over a decade.
A production crew was meeting us there to get footage of him in his old stomping grounds. Beginning with the group home he’d lived at in between his foster placements. I didn’t think it would affect me as much as it was, but something inside of me shifted at that damn shoot.
The outfit he was wearing.
The words he was confessing.
The way he was looking at me.
It was all too much to take in at once. Now, we were flying back home, where our tumultuous past existed, and it was breathing fire down my back.
By the way Julian was acting in the last forty-eight hours, I imagined he was feeling the weight of our history on his shoulders like I was.
Other than when he was answering questions from the press, he was quiet and distant.
We both knew how heavy the load of Texas would be, and the silence was deafening on his private jet. I swear I could hear his thoughts, and every single one included me and my family.
Particularly my brother.
I still hadn’t explained anything to them.
I’d been dodging their calls and texts, trying to figure out what I would say.
The flight was only two hours, and it felt as if an eternity was slowly passing us by.
Although the anxiousness I was feeling wasn’t only about Texas—we’d be sharing the penthouse floor of the hotel we were staying at while we were in our hometown.
Why did I agree to share a suite with him?
Taking in a deep breath, I counted to three before exhaling on four breath counts.
If Locke noticed my unease, he didn’t show it.
He wasn’t talking, and he didn’t move from where he was sitting.
Aimlessly, he just stared out the window like it had the answers to all the questions that were obviously plaguing him.
I breathed in and out a few more times until I couldn’t take his silence anymore and had to ask, “You really haven’t been back since you left?”
Without looking at me, he simply stated, “There was nothing there for me anymore.”
I winced, narrowing my eyes at him. “You really think that, don’t you?”
“I don’t think, I know.”
“I was there,” I reminded, standing my ground on the truth.
“So were my parents and my brother. Despite what you said to me the night of his wedding, I was still waiting for you to come back home, Julian. You wanted to cut ties with me, then you didn’t need to do that with my entire family. They had nothing to do with us.”
“They had everything to do with us.”
“Bullshit. That’s just an excuse you’ve convinced yourself of to excuse your shitty behavior. They didn’t deserve what you did to them.”
“Neither did you.”
“I don’t want to talk about us.”
“Then don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to.”
“I’m talking about my family. They mourned the loss of you as if you died. You didn’t even say goodbye to them.”
“How many times do I have to tell you it was the only way I could leave you?”
“Oh,” I snapped, feeling his response in the pit of my stomach. “So saying goodbye to me made it easy for you to leave?” I nodded. “Good to know.”
“I thought you didn’t want to talk about us?”
“Ugh! You’re the most stubborn man I have ever met! Do you know that?”
“I’ve been called worse, sweetheart.”
“Stop staring out the window and fucking look at me, Julian!”
Reluctantly, he did.
“You could have left town and still had a relationship with them.”
“In one way or another, it still would have included you in it.”
“Who cares?! We were friends once, and after some time, we could have been friends again.”
His expression quickly turned heated. “I’ve tasted you, kid. From your mouth, to your pussy, to every inch of your body. I stole your first kiss, your first orgasm, your first fuck—there’s no coming back from that, Autumn.”
“You also stole my heart. Let’s not forget that.”
“Yes,” he agreed. “I stole that too.”
“Not only did you steal it, but you also broke it, and don’t you ever forget that.”
“You have all the answers to your questions built-in, kid.”
“Again, that has nothing to do with my family.”
“Knowing you were always mine, do you honestly think I would have been able to see you move on from me? Come on, Autumn. You know me better than that.”
“If I was able to see you sleep with half of Texas, I’m sure you would have lived, Julian.”
“Up until four days ago, my life has been completely private. All it took was seeing you with good ol’ fucking Charlie, and I didn’t hesitate to tell the world who you belong to.” He cocked his head to the side. “How’s that for living?”
“You make it sound like moving on from you was easy.”
“It would have been worse had I stayed for your parents and your brother.”
“I didn’t say you had to stay, but you still could have kept in touch with them.”
“And the second someone would have told me about a new man in your life, I would have flown back and done something incredibly stupid, landing him in the ICU and me in jail. Is that what you would have wanted?”
“Of course not.”
“I couldn’t bear to tell your family goodbye.
I couldn’t explain to them why I was leaving—see the devastation on their faces when I told them.
It would have been too hard—too painful.
It would've felt like a betrayal.” He paused for a moment.
“You wanted the truth, kid, and I’m giving you the fucking truth.
These are just a few things you need to consider before you start attacking me about what I should and shouldn’t have done. ”
“But lying about our current relationship seems reasonable to you?”
“I didn’t lie.” He shook his head. “I want you back in my bed.”
“The same bed you’ve probably shared with thousands of women? No thanks, I’ll pass.”
“No woman has ever been in my bed.”
I rolled my eyes. “Is this where you tell me you haven’t had sex since me?”
“No. I’m a man, Autumn, I fuck.”
Hearing him say those words didn’t surprise me, but the next ones he openly shared were staggering, nearly stopping my heart, leaving me awestruck and blindsided when he confessed…
“I’ve never made love to anyone but you.”
—Julian—
“Has anyone ever told you that you come on a little strong?”
I was prepared for the animosity she’d have toward me, but it still hurt like a son of a bitch that she kept blowing off my sincerity.
Instead of losing my temper yet again, I changed the subject. “How about you tell me how your family is doing?”
She shrugged, not giving me an inch. “Call them and ask them yourself.”
“Or you could save them from telling me to go to Hell, and just answer my question.”
“Fine.” She caved. “My parents are doing great. My dad is still working at his firm, and my mom is impatiently waiting on grandkids from Christian and Kinley.”
“Not from you?”
She shook her head. “Not from me.”
“What field did your brother end up in?”
“Believe it or not, he’s a gynecologist.”
Despite feeling out of control, which was never a good thing, I chuckled. “That doesn’t surprise me.”
“Really?”
“No. Your brother has always loved pussy.”
“Ew.” She flinched. “Gross. Don’t ever say that to me again.”
“How are he and Kinley?”
“Good, I guess. I don’t see them very often.”
“Why is that?”
“I don’t live in Texas.”
I arched an eyebrow, surprised at her response. “Where are you living?”
“None of your business, Mr. Locke.”
“So we’re back to that now?”
“We never left.”
“You’re worse than whiplash, kid. How about you save me the trouble of pulling your records from HR and tell me yourself?”
“That’s illegal.”
“It would only be illegal if I wasn’t your boss.”
“How many times do I have to tell you I’m not your employee? I’m not beneath you—I’m your equal.”
“But you used to love being beneath me.”
“I think that’s always been our problem. The love I felt for you.”
“Autumn… I’ve always lov—”
She abruptly stood, cutting me off on purpose. “We landed.” She hurried toward the exit, and as soon as she walked past me, I stood and grabbed her arm to urge her to look at me again.
“Mr. Locke.”
“I’ve had enough of your Mr. Locke bullshit, kid. I’m done playing your little games.”
“Wow,” she rasped. “I played your games for years, and you can barely stand it for six days. How’s it feel?”
“Whether you want to face it or not I do lov—”
“No!” She yanked her arm out of my grasp. “I don’t want to hear it.”
“It doesn’t matter if I say it to you now or later, it’s going to be said, and the sooner you realize that, the faster we can move forward with it.”
“What exactly are we moving forward with?”
“Us.”
“There is no us.”
“There will always be an us, and you know it.”
“Listen.” She stepped back, making her way to the exit. “If you want me to forgive you, how about you start with reaching out to my family and we go from there, alright?”
“Will it get you back in my bed?”
“No. But maybe we can be friends.”
“We’ve never just been friends, Autumn.”
Before I could stop her, she turned and stepped off my jet.
Bottom line, when push came to shove, she chose to confront our past in Texas rather than dealing with me and my confessions.