—Autumn—
We didn’t talk for the rest of the flight.
What could we say after that? It was a clusterfuck.
Now we were sitting in the backseat of an SUV, Julian was on the phone yelling at someone while I looked out the window, lost in my own thoughts as the driver drove us to my home.
I was a wrecking ball of emotions, good and bad.
I couldn’t believe I allowed him to touch me.
I didn’t think it through. All I did was evoke more feelings I thought were long gone.
They weren’t.
They were staring me in the face, like a fucking beacon of bright lights. Blinding my sight with nothing but conflicting emotions about him, us, our family.
Shit. Did I just say our family? You’re not a family, Autumn. He’s the father of your child. You’re moving in with him for Capri to get to know him with you being there to make the transition easier for her. This is for your daughter.
Not. For. You.
Not. For. Him.
I repeated the words, desperately trying to believe them. I should have never let him touch me. It just added more fire to our already blazing inferno.
“Robert,” Julian bit. “You either make it happen or I’ll find someone who will.” With that, he abruptly hung up his call.
“Wow, you’re just peachy keen to everyone today.”
Smirking, he placed his cellphone back into his suit jacket. “You of all people should know my patience wears thin.”
“You are aware our daughter is going to test all your limits, right?”
“She’s different.”
“How? Patience is not your virtue. You just admitted it yourself.”
“I have over nine years to make up for, Autumn. My patience is going to be endless when it comes to her.”
“We’ll see.” I looked at the driver. “You can pull up to my window and I’ll punch in my code into the security box.”
“Or you could just give it to him.”
My gaze shifted to Julian’s statement. “I don’t want you to have access to my neighborhood.”
“We’re back to this?”
I ignored him, dialing the code.
“Let me guess, it’s either your birthday or Capri’s?”
“Nope.”
“Would you tell me if it was?”
“Nope.” I looked at the driver. “It’s the house at the end of the road, 2473.”
He nodded through the mirror and moments later we were pulling into my driveway.
My home was beautiful, it was three stories, coastal living kind of vibes since we were on the water.
It was perfect for Capri, Emily, and me.
Emily was our nanny, she’d been with us since Capri was three.
I actually met her through one of my mom’s friends, she was around her age, and had moved with us through a couple of cities and states.
She was the best and we were lucky to have her.
“You did good for yourself, kid. Your home is beautiful. I’m sure Capri has fond memories here.”
The satisfaction I felt by hearing him say those words was a feeling I didn’t think I’d have.
“Thanks.”
“When you’re ready for me to come inside, you know where to find me.”
I nodded, instantly feeling relieved he was following through on our deal.
Although, I knew he meant his statement as a double innuendo.
“Okay.” I opened the door, but at the last second, I turned around.
“Oh, and umm… thank you for allowing me to talk to Capri alone. I appreciate it and I know she will too.”
“I would have allowed it regardless of you coming in my mouth.”
My gaze snapped to the driver. “I’m sorry you had to hear that.”
He chuckled. “I’ve driven for Mr. Locke for a long time. There’s nothing I haven’t heard.”
I shot Julian a questionable expression, wondering how many women he might have entertained in the back of his car.
“I have an extended office in San Diego as well.”
“Great, is there any state you don’t have an office in?”
“I own the world.”
“I see that.”
“And now I have a family to enjoy it with.”
“Julian, I’m not your family.”
“You’ve always been my home.”
I knew I wouldn’t win this argument with him, so I shut the door and made my way toward the entrance of my house.
My heart was beating out of my chest, I had no idea what I was going to say or how I was going to say it to her.
I figured it would be easier and smoother if I spoke from my heart and not a speech I had prepared.
Capri could always see through me, she had the same power as her dad. It was one of the reasons I moved from Texas to begin with. The older she got, the more she started to possess a lot of his traits or maybe it was obvious to me since I knew the truth.
His stubbornness.
His perceptiveness.
Having no filter.
She was wicked smart like him too. She even had some of his mannerisms, holding her fork in the same way he did, she was left-handed like him. Loved old classic cars like Julian.
It was surreal.
Capri had my appearance, but she was her father’s daughter in every other way. Pushing away those thoughts, I inhaled a solid breath as I unlocked the door and walked inside.
“Capri?” I called out, laying my purse on the entryway table.
“I’m in the kitchen with Emily, Momma!”
Quickly, I rushed into the kitchen. Excited to see my girl.
“Momma!” She jumped into my arms. “I missed you so much! I’m so happy you’re home early! I thought you weren’t coming back until tomorrow?”
I tightly squeezed her against my chest. My girl was getting so big. She’d be ten in a couple of months.
“I missed you, baby.” I kissed the top of her head.
“Momma, are you okay?” See, perceptive as all hell.
I nodded, glancing at Emily. “Thank you for everything.”
“Of course. I’ll let you two get reacquainted. I’m going to get the groceries for the week.”
“Oh, yeah… umm… you can just buy groceries for yourself. Capri and I won’t need anything.”
“We won’t?” Capri asked, looking up at me. “Are we going somewhere?”
I nervously laughed. “Something like that.”
“Sounds great,” Emily replied. “You can tell me all about when I get back.”
I smiled, and she left.
Giving my girl another big hug, I coaxed, “Baby, we need to talk.” Julian was waiting in the SUV, I didn’t have a lot of time to tell her what was going on, needing to get right to the point sooner rather than later.
“Am I in trouble?”
“No, you’re not in trouble, but what we need to talk about is serious, so let’s go in the living room and sit down.”
“Okay.”
Once we were sitting on the couch, I grabbed her hands in my lap.
“Momma, you look really pale. Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Mmm-hmm… I’m just having a little trouble finding the right words to say.”
The concern was evident on her beautiful face. “What’s this about?”
“You know how I told you that I was taking on a client that I used to know?”
“Yeah, you spent the last week with him, right?”
“Yes, I did.”
“Is this about him?”
“Yes, baby, it is.”
“What is it? Do you like him or something? Because it wouldn’t bother me, Momma. I’d love to have a daddy. All my friends have daddies.”
“Honey.” I paused, needing a second. It absolutely killed me she missed out on having a father and was starting to feel his absence so profoundly. I tried my best, always playing both roles, but in the end… she longed for her dad. Making me feel intensely guilty I waited this long to tell him.
Maybe I was wrong?
Resisting the urge to cry, I pushed through. “On the topic of that, do you remember when you asked me about your dad?”
“Yeah. Why? Is this about him?”
“Yes, baby, it is.”
Her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. “Momma! Tell me! Please!”
“I’m getting there. There’s just no easy way to say this to you.”
“Just say it, Momma. I’m a big girl, I can handle it.”
“You are a big girl, but you’ll always be my baby.”
She smiled. “I know. Now tell me! What is it?”
“Okay, here goes nothing. So, the client I’ve been with this last week, well… he’s… I mean… it’s your dad.”
She jerked back. “I don’t get it. Your client is my daddy?”
“Mmm-hmm. It’s one of the reasons I took him on as a client.”
“You’ve been with my daddy this whole last week?”
“I have.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
My heart dropped, the last thing I wanted was for her to be upset with me. I couldn’t take it. Not after everything Julian has put me through.
“I hadn’t seen him in a very long time, sweetie.”
“How long?”
“Since before you were born.”
“Why?”
“He moved away.”
“Oh…” She considered it for a minute. “Did he know about me?”
I shook my head. “No, baby, he didn’t.”
“Why didn’t you tell him?”
“Listen, it’s a long story, and it really doesn’t matter.”
“But does he know about me now?”
“Yes.” I nodded. “And he’s very excited to meet you and get to know you too.”
She beamed. “Really? My daddy wants to be my daddy?”
My heart was breaking into a million pieces. “Yes, honey, he would love that.”
“Really, Momma? You swear? You promise?”
“Cross my heart.”
“Then when can I get to meet him? Today? Tomorrow? Oh, please, Momma! Please! Can I meet him soon? I’ll be a good girl! I’ll be the best girl!”
Talk about a kick to my stomach. “You’re always my best girl.”
“Yay! When can I meet him? Please say soon!”
“Well, babe, you can actually meet him right now.”
She jumped up off the couch. “What?! He’s here? Where?”
“He’s outside in the SU—”
She took off.
“Capri! Wait!”
She didn’t listen, not that I expected her to.
This wasn’t going how I imagined. If I thought my heart was beating fast when I walked through the front door, there was no comparison to how it was pounding now.
I hurried behind her, trying to catch up with her pace, but she was too fast. Too excited.
Too eager. Nothing was going to hold her back, not even me.
The door swung open and I knew my whole life would never be the same. It wasn’t just Capri and me anymore. Now our lives were about to…
Forever intertwined with Julian’s.
—Julian—
When the front door opened, I never expected to see our daughter hauling ass out of it.
From that point forward, I moved in autopilot.
Swinging open the door, I stepped out of the SUV and rounded the back.
Coming face to face with a mini Autumn. I gasped at the sight of her.
She was breathtakingly beautiful, exactly like her mother.
She had freckles on her nose and cheeks, green eyes and bright red hair.
She halted in front of me, smiling wide. “Hi, I’m Capri.”
I tugged on the end of her hair. “I know who you are, sweetheart.”
She giggled, sounding so much like her mother at that age.
“Momma says she’s been with you all week!
She said you wanted to meet me, and I’ve always wanted to meet you too.
But Momma says you didn’t know about me, and I don’t know why she didn’t tell you, but she says it doesn’t matter.
Will you tell me? You don’t have to tell me now!
I’m so happy to finally meet you! My name is Capri Marie Troy and I’m a super cool girl.
I have a lot of friends at school and I’m really smart.
All my classes are advanced. My best subject is math! I love numbers. Did you know that?”
I shook my head, trying to keep up with everything she was sharing. Hearing and seeing her for the first time was almost just crippling as not knowing anything about her.
“I’m sorry. I talk really fast when I’m excited and I’m just so excited to meet you! But I can tell you everything and all about me! Is that okay? Do you want to know?”
Choked up from all the emotions, I expressed, “I’d love that more than anything.”
“Okay, good! I love to talk. It’s one of my favorite things.
Momma says I can talk her ear off and my teachers nicknamed Chatty Capri, but you can call me anything you want.
Momma usually calls me baby even though I’m a big girl.
I’ll be ten in five months! Momma says I still can’t have a cellphone.
” She rolled her eyes. “Maybe when I’m eleven. ”
I swear I was thrown back to another place and time, sitting in Christian’s truck with Autumn in the backseat, asking for my cellphone.
“Do you live here? Are you close? Can I come to your house?”
“Your mom didn’t tell you?”
Autumn walked up to us, mirroring the expression on my face. “She didn’t give me a chance.”
“Tell me what?” Capri enthusiastically asked.
“You’re going to move in with me.”
She gasped. “We are?”
“Yes, but only for a—”
I cut Autumn off, “You’re moving into my ranch in Texas.”
“Texas?!” she squealed. “Oh my God! I love it there! Are we close to Grammy and Grampy? I miss them so much.”
“Yes,” I replied. “You can see them as much as you want.”
Before I could get another word in, she threw her arms around my waist, hugging me as hard as she could. “I’m so happy! Thank you! Thank you!”
I blinked away my tears and cleared my throat. “I’m happy too.” I closed my eyes and held her as tight as I could against me too, trying my best to keep it together.
Capri was the first to pull away, and I resisted the urge to pull her back toward me and never let her go. I locked stares with Autumn when I opened my eyes. She was hugging herself in a comforting gesture, with tears in her eyes.
“Momma!” Capri hugged her next, looking back at me.
Although, my stare never wavered from her mothers.
“Daddy,” Capri said for the first time, instantly tearing my attention to her. “When do we leave?” She must have misinterpreted the expression on my face. “Oh, I mean… is that okay? Can I call you my daddy?” Looking up at me, she waited for an answer with nothing but love in her eyes.
Her mom used to look at me in the same way. I’d give anything for her mom to look at me like that again.
“Capri, baby girl, I’d…” I couldn’t form words.
Never did I imagine I’d be a father. I didn’t date or do relationships, my life consisted of work and casual sex.
Right then, in that moment, I’d give my soul to the devil to have the last nine years with my daughter.
From the second Autumn told me she was pregnant.
“I would be honored if you called me daddy.”
“Yay!” she exclaimed, jumping into my arms again. “We’re going to finally be a family!”
“Capri,” Autumn cautioned, and I recognized that tone.
There was no hesitation on my part, I tugged her into the side of my body. Holding my entire world in my arms in what seemed like a lifetime.
I gazed down at our daughter, simply stating the truth, “Yes, baby girl. We’re going to be a family.”