Chapter 18
ALESSIA
The next morning, I woke in my bed alone.
The pattering of rain sounded on the windows, and the cloudy sky cast my room in a melancholy shadow, making me want to sleep for a week.
I thought about giving in to the tug of lethargy but decided to drag myself out of bed.
When I sat up, I noticed a note on the nightstand.
Had shit to do. I’ll call you later. PS—you’re fucking beautiful when you sleep.
As usual, Luca made me smile, not just a casual everyday smile—a fifteen-year-old-girl-gets-noticed-by-her-crush smile.
Why couldn’t Brad, the grocery store manager, make me smile like that?
Would it be so much to ask that I could fall for an upstanding citizen—someone who pays their taxes and doesn’t hurt people for a living?
I groaned out a long sigh and flopped back onto the bed, taking my phone with me.
Thank God, it was Saturday—I didn’t have to face work for two full days.
Considering everything that had gone on and the maudlin weather, I had no plans of leaving my apartment all day.
I needed some time to think about my life and get my shit in order, and there was only one person I trusted enough to help me do that.
I texted Giada, asking her to come over, then flipped to Luca in my contacts and made certain to unblock his number.
I had no idea where things would end up between us, but for now, he was still a part of my life.
After that, I commenced staring at the ceiling, which is where Giada found me an hour later.
“Al … you okay?” she sung in a wary but playful voice.
“You might want to come sit down for this.” I scooted toward the middle of the bed, and she crawled over to sit cross-legged next to me.
“Did something happen with that guy?”
“Yes, but it’s so much bigger than that. G, if I tell you this, you have to promise never to tell another living soul.”
“You’re starting to freak me out.”
“Say it, Giada—I need to know you won’t discuss this with anyone.”
“You know you’re my one and only.”
Anxiety made my heart flutter in my chest as I held her eyes. “Luca’s in the mafia.” The room fell into an awkward silence as Giada processed the news.
“Sooooo, you stopped seeing him, right?” she asked, confused.
“Sort of … I mean, I tried to…”
“You’re still seeing him?” Her voice rose a series of octaves with the question.
“He’s insanely persuasive! And I really like him—G, don’t look at me like that!
I need your help.” I sat up facing her, placing my hands on her knees.
“He’s everything I never knew I wanted, but now that I know what it’s like to be with him, I can’t imagine it any other way—he even saved me from Roger and from being mugged. ”
“Your boss?”
“Yes, he attacked me in the bathroom yesterday.”
“That fucker,” she hissed.
“But it’s okay because Luca busted in and saved me. I know I should probably end it, but I can’t seem to do it. It’s like telling myself not to sleep or breathe.”
“What if being with him puts you in danger? Plus, he could go to prison! Are you okay being with a convict?”
No, absolutely not, and yet… “The thought of losing him makes me feel like I’m drowning—it’s terrifying,” I admitted in a whisper.
“Damn,” she breathed, pulling me into a hug. “I leave you alone for one day…” she teased, making me laugh.
“I know—I’m a hot mess. Thank you for loving me anyway.”
“Always. Plus, I’m sure I’ll have my turn one of these days.”
“Good Lord, let’s hope not. I think I’ve got myself in enough mess for the both of us.”
Giada forced me out of bed, and we spent the rest of the morning talking through my Luca troubles.
I told her about the three thugs attempting to mug me and about being assaulted by Roger.
She threatened to throat punch me if I ever let someone treat me like Roger had again. I promised to let her if I did.
By the time she left just after lunch, I was feeling noticeably better. I still had no idea what I was going to do, but I felt better about being undecided. It wasn’t like I’d agreed to marry Luca—I just hadn’t stopped dating him. That didn’t mean I was going to stay with him forever.
Bluster, bluster, bluster.
The manipulative mind of an addict is a terrible thing.
When the phone rang that evening, my heart danced in my chest as Luca’s name flashed on the screen. Damn heart was a traitor. It had declared mutiny over my mind and was now campaigning for a total overthrow.
“Hey, Luca,” I greeted softly.
“How was your day?” His voice was a sexy rasp that conjured pictures of his naked body.
“It was quiet, relaxing—perfect for a rainy day. You?”
“I wish. I was out running around in that rain like a schmuck, and it’s not over yet. I still have dinner plans with a friend before I can call it a day.”
A friend? Was that code for another woman?
I’d been so wrapped up in the mafia bombshell, I hadn’t even considered if Luca and I were exclusive.
The thought of him with someone else didn’t just hurt, it made me irrationally angry—massacre his closet and key his car angry.
His dinner date wasn’t necessarily a woman, but logic failed my brain where Luca was concerned.
“Oh.”
He was quiet for several beats. “There a problem?”
“No.”
“What did I say about lying to me?”
Fuck. If I told him what I was thinking, I’d look like a crazy woman, jealous when we’d only just started dating. But then again, I was trying to end the relationship days earlier. If he thought I was too possessive and left me, that would solve my problems.
“Are you seeing someone else?” I blurted.
“That’s my girl,” he purred, a smile implicit in his voice.
“I want to know exactly what you’re thinking—no games.
As for my dinner plans, I’m meeting an associate.
He’s sixty years old, bald, and weighs close to three hundred pounds.
No, I’m not seeing anyone else, and I expect the same courtesy in return. Does that work for you?”
“Yeah, that works,” I whispered breathlessly. As if hearing Luca call me his girl wasn’t enough to do me in, his speech had me melting into a puddle of female hormones.
“Good. When can I see you tomorrow?”
“Not sure. I’ve got to get some chores done, then I’ve got dinner at my parent’s house.”
“I’m free in the evening; I could come with you.”
What? No, no, and hell no. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, not yet, anyway.” Most guys avoided meeting the parents like the plague, but Luca wasn’t most guys. He threw me for a loop in every way.
“I understand. Whenever you’re ready. In the meantime, why don’t you tell me more about them.”
Everything he said shocked me—I never knew what was going to come out of that man’s mouth next.
Curling up on the couch, I dove in. “Well, I have two sisters. Sofia is the baby, eighteen months younger than me, and we have a decent relationship. She’s an artist, marches to her own beat.
Maria is two years older than me and has always been too cool for me or Sofia.
She’s intensely private—I know where she lives, and that’s about it.
Mom is a pretty traditional Stepford wife.
She doesn’t actually cook or clean, but she organizes fundraisers and is always busy with friends or family.
As you know, my dad runs Triton, so that’s the center of his universe.
When we were little, before Marco was killed, he used to play with us.
He would get on his hands and knees, and we would ride his back like a bucking bronco until we laughed so hard, we couldn’t stay on. ”
“Sounds like a good dad,” commented Luca.
“He was, and he still is, just not the same as he was before.”
“So, you’re close to your sister?”
“Yeah, but I’m even closer to my cousin, Giada—you saw her that day at my place.”
“Right. How is she related?”
“She’s my dad’s brother’s daughter. We grew up together and have always been inseparable.”
“You have many aunts and uncles?”
“You drawing my family tree?” I teased.
“Maybe. There a problem with me wanting to know more about you?”
“I suppose not; it’s just unusual. Most guys don’t want anything to do with my crazy family.”
“I think we both know I’m not most guys.”
No joke. “My dad has the one brother and a sister, who is bat-shit crazy. My mom was an only child—her mom was never able to conceive again. She’s super close to Giada’s mom, and dad is best friends with my Uncle Sal.”
“That his brother?”
“No, he’s not actually related—it’s an honorary title. They’ve known each other since they were kids.”
He paused as he considered. “Makes sense. None of my family, except for Ari, are related to me by blood.”
“Different kind of family.”
“Is it?”
I contemplated his question. I’d always been of the opinion family didn’t have to mean blood relations, but mafia associates didn’t seem to fit the bill.
The people you work with weren’t necessarily family.
I couldn’t imagine how being sworn into a club would automatically make each of the members feel like family.
When I didn’t answer, Luca continued. “Our loyalty is always to family. I trust them with my life—isn’t that what you would consider family?”
“I guess so,” I muttered.
“It’s not what you’re envisioning, I promise. Just try to keep an open mind.”
“Okay.”
“I have to head out. I’ll come by your place after dinner.”
“kay”
“Night, baby.”
“Night, Luca.”
I wasn’t just sinking; I had removed my lifejacket and was doing a cannonball into the deep end.