Chapter 5
Chapter Five
H appy with how it had turned out, Fleur placed the finished table decoration in the fridge. That was all the flowers for the Robson’s anniversary dinner completed, and they looked good, even if she thought so herself.
She turned back to the large table in the middle of the chilled backroom of the shop and glanced out of the huge window into the shop as the door chimed, announcing a customer. It was Bea. She’d been expecting her to come in but had assumed she’d have at least until closer to lunchtime before Bea closed up the bookshop for a few minutes to head over and interrogate her.
No such luck. Leaving the strips of cut stems and loose leaves in a mess on the table, she pushed open the door into the shop. ‘Hey, Bea. Have you closed up for a break already?’
‘Hey, no, Lindsey popped round, so I begged her to look after the shop for me while I brought you this.’ Bea smiled as she held up two takeaway cups of coffee and two bulging paper bags.
‘Aw, please tell me that’s one of Pat’s little carrot cakes?’ Stepping forward, Fleur took hold of one of the cups as Bea passed her a bag.
‘Of course.’ Bea took a sip of her coffee.
‘Thanks.’ Placing her cup on the counter, Fleur opened the bag and broke off a chunk of carrot cake before popping it in her mouth. If she was about to be subjected to an interrogation, then at least she’d be watered and fed.
Placing her hands flat against the counter on either side of her cup, Bea looked at her. ‘Don’t worry, I’m not here to bombard you with questions. I’m sure you have your reasons for leaving things in the past.’
‘Really?’ Fleur spoke around the chunk of cake in her mouth before looking down and wiping the crumbs from her jumper.
‘Yes, really. And don’t sound so surprised! I’m your friend. The last thing I want is to force you to tell me something you don’t feel comfortable speaking about.’
‘It’s not that, I…’ Fleur slumped her shoulders. How did she explain this? ‘It’s not that I was keeping something from you, it’s just that it happened so long ago. I mean, ten years is a long time, right? And it wasn’t the proudest moment of my life.’
‘Oh, I get it. Honestly, you don’t have to explain anything to me.’ She picked up her coffee cup again. ‘These things happen and I’m certainly not one to judge. Heck, I should have left Adam at the altar! I would have saved myself years of heartache if I had.’
‘It wasn’t like that.’ Fleur lifted her thumb to her mouth, forcing herself to lower it again before she chewed down on the nail and instead tugged off another chunk of cake. Up until seeing Matty last night, she’d almost overcome her nail-biting habit.
‘I’m just saying that we all do things for a reason and there’s no point in going through with a wedding if you knew it wasn’t the right thing to do.’ Bea reached out and rubbed Fleur’s forearm.
Looking down at Bea’s hand on her arm, Fleur swallowed as her stomach churned, the all too familiar churn of emotions she’d spent so many years bottling up and compartmentalising. Burying. ‘I did want to marry him. I wanted to marry him more than anything in the entire world, but…’
‘You wanted to marry him?’ Drawing her hand back to her cup, confusion swept over Bea’s face. ‘But you left him at the altar.’
Fleur nodded slowly. ‘Yep. I left him because it was the right thing to do. The right thing for him.’
‘But…?’ Bea shook her head. ‘I don’t understand. If you wanted to marry him, then why didn’t you?’
‘I…’ A movement on the street outside caught Fleur’s eye, and she felt her heart begin to hammer. It was him. It was Matty walking across the green, straight towards her shop. ‘It’s him. I can’t speak to him. Not yet. Cover for me.’
‘What?’ Bea glanced out of the window behind her before turning back and locking eyes with Fleur. ‘Isn’t it best to clear the air?’
‘Yes, but not now. I just can’t. I need time to… I don’t know. To think. Just cover for me.’ Ducking down behind the counter, she reached up again for her coffee and cake before crossing her legs on the cold floor as Bea walked behind the counter.
‘Fleur! I don’t know what I’m doing.’ Bea whispered loudly as she stepped around Fleur’s legs.
‘You’ll be fine. Just remember, don’t let on that I’m here.’ Picking up her coffee cup, she pulled it towards her lips, grateful for the warmth of the liquid inside. Her shop was always cool. It had to be because of the flowers and bouquets she displayed on the shop floor, but sitting on the tiles as well…
The door chimed. He was here.
‘Morning.’ Matty’s familiar gravelly voice filled the shop.
Squeezing her eyes tight shut, Fleur fought against every cell in her body which was screaming at her to stand up and speak to him, to look into his eyes and see if there was… What? Anything left of the love they felt for each other? She sighed audibly before clamping her free hand over her mouth. What was she thinking? She wasn’t some young, na?ve woman in love anymore. She knew the deal, and she knew that people like her didn’t get the happy-ever-afters that seemed to come so easily to others. The only thing she’d see in his eyes was the remnants of anger. Or worse, indifference. And she wasn’t quite strong enough to see that. Not just yet.
‘Morning. How are you today?’ Bea’s voice shook. She was uncertain. In unfamiliar territory.
‘Fine, thank you.’ His footsteps came closer to the counter. ‘Yourself?’
‘Good, good thanks. How can I help you?’
‘I was actually wondering if Fleur was about?’ He paused before continuing. ‘I assume it’s her shop by the sign out front?’
‘Yes, yes, it is.’ Bea shuffled on the spot as Fleur quickly pulled her legs out of the way. ‘But, no. She…umm… she’s not here.’
‘Oh. Do you know when she’ll be back?’
‘When she’ll be back?’ Bea paused. ‘Err… no.’
Fleur placed her forehead on her knees. Could Bea have made it any more obvious that she was avoiding him? She should have known not to ask Bea to lie for her. Bea couldn’t lie to save her life.
There was a pause, the silence in the shop deafening before Matty spoke again. ‘In that case, I’ll just take this, please?’
‘Certainly.’
Fleur listened to the rustling of tissue paper and the ping of the till as Bea served him. It felt like a lifetime before the door finally chimed again, signalling that he had finally left.
‘He’s gone. You can show your face again.’ Bea looked down at Fleur, her hands on her hips. ‘Please don’t ask me to lie for you again. I hate it.’
‘I know. I know. I’m sorry.’ Gripping the edge of the counter, Fleur pulled herself to standing and lowered her cup and cake on the counter before drawing Bea into a hug. ‘I forgot how awful you are at this stuff.’
‘Oi!’ Hugging her back, Bea laughed.
Lowering her hands, Fleur walked around the counter to the other side and made her way up and down the tiers of three dark oak shelves, each with cut-outs to hold the buckets of bouquets and bunches of flowers displayed along each wall. Trailing her fingers across the soft petals, she tried to work out what was missing, what Matty had bought.
‘If he’s here to stay, you’ll have to face him one day.’
‘Uh-huh. Hopefully he won’t be.’ Fleur stopped in front of the cluster of buckets closest to the counter. Something was missing from here. Matty had chosen one of her most expensive bouquets. No, scrap that. She rearranged the bouquets. It was her most expensive bouquet. She turned to Bea. ‘He bought my most expensive bouquet. Did he say who he was buying it for?’
‘Nope.’ Bea shook her head. ‘You would have heard if he had, anyway.’
Fleur nodded. Yes, she would have. She turned the small carousel of tags and cards she kept on the counter. ‘Did he take one of these?’
‘No, just the bouquet.’
‘Right.’ She sighed. The takeaway last night and now a bouquet of expensive flowers. He wasn’t here alone then.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing. I just… he’s with someone.’ She took a deep breath, trying to calm the feeling stirring in her stomach. ‘Which is fine. It’s to be expected. Of course he’s with someone. It’s been ten years; he’s not exactly going to have stayed single in case I changed my mind.’
‘Oh, Fleur…’ Bea walked towards her, her arms outstretched.
Holding her hands up in front of her, palms forwards, Fleur stepped back. ‘No, don’t. I don’t have any right to feel upset or… anything. I lost every right I had when I walked away from him at the church.’
‘It still must be difficult…’
‘It’s not as though I’ve not been dating either. No, I haven’t found my Mr Right, but it’s not for lack of trying.’ Fleur looked away from Bea. She couldn’t stand to see the pity on her friend’s face. If she did. She’d know what a lost cause she really was.
‘Well, it’s not as though you really give anyone a real chance, though…’
Fleur snapped her eyes back up. ‘What do you mean? I date! I’m always on the dating apps. All of them! Up until a few days ago, anyway.’
‘Yes, but when you start seeing someone, you don’t give them long.’
Fleur crossed her arms over her chest. What was Bea saying? ‘It’s not my fault we break up. Drew broke up with me, remember? I actually liked him.’
‘Did you though?’ Bea settled herself against the counter, coffee cup in hand. ‘Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’ve seen the way you are with them, with the men you date. You jump into a relationship headfirst and then, after a few weeks, you backtrack, you leave messages unopened, you make excuses why you can’t meet up. You distance yourself.’
‘Do I?’ Frowning, Fleur walked back behind the counter and picked up her cup, letting her mouth fill with the sweet caramel latte as she let Bea’s words whir in her mind. She knew Bea was right. ‘I didn’t with Drew.’
Lowering her cup, Bea reached out and took Fleur’s free hand. ‘You did. For the last couple of weeks before your relationship ended, you made up excuse after excuse. You told him that you had to help me with an audit the night you were supposed to be going to the cinema and that Ruby had pleaded with you to help at the restaurant when he’d planned that romantic weekend away, despite you for once actually getting cover for this place. Shall I go on?’
‘No.’ She had made up excuses. She’d not actually been out on a date with Drew for at least two weeks before he’d turned up at the flower shop and told her it was over. ‘What are you saying?’
‘I’m suggesting there’s a reason you push people away.’ Bea pulled her mobile from her pocket as a text message pinged. ‘Oh, sorry Lindsey’s got to run, Isaac has been sick at school.’
‘Okay, hope he’s all right.’
‘Thanks. We’ll finish this conversation another time, yes?’
‘Yep.’ Fleur slumped her elbows to the counter as Bea hurried out of the shop and across the green towards her bookshop. Bea had seen right through her. She’d clocked how she was in relationships, how she acted, but she just couldn’t help it. It was just the way she was. And for good reason too.