Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
D ucking into the shop, Fleur closed the door firmly behind her again, the bell above the door tinkling her arrival as Bea looked up from where she was refilling shelves in the children’s corner. ‘Hi, Bea.’
‘Hey, this is a surprise. I thought you’d be busy, what with people popping in to make orders for Valentine’s Day next week?’ Squeezing the final book onto the shelf, Bea stood up and made her way to the counter. ‘Coffee?’
‘I wouldn’t say no. And, yes, I am, but it was time for a break.’ Fleur walked back to the window as Bea disappeared behind the curtain into the backroom where she kept the kettle. From here, peering out from behind the display of books, she was fairly confident Matty wouldn’t be able to see her, so unless he’d watched her walk into the shop, she could hang around here until he’d gone.
‘Here you go.’ Joining her at the window, Bea passed her a mug.
‘Thank you.’ Wrapping her hands around the hot ceramic, Fleur didn’t avert her gaze from Matty and Gregory.
‘He wouldn’t have anything to do with why you’re hiding out in my shop, would he?’ Bea took a sip of her drink as she looked pointedly across the green.
‘Who? Gregory?’
Rolling her eyes, Bea scoffed. ‘No, Matty of course.’
‘Umm, maybe.’ Turning, she walked back towards the counter and leaned against it before taking a sip of her coffee and pulling a face as the bitter taste hit the back of her throat.
‘Sorry, I’ve run out of caramel syrup. My book club members have taken a liking to it and I meant to pick up some more at the shop but clean forgot.’ Bea placed her mug on the counter before pulling a box towards her and taking out a pile of books. ‘So, what’s your plan? You’re just going to keep avoiding him until he goes back home?’
‘No, he’s here to stay, apparently. Helen popped in and told me Matty has moved back to Nettleford.’ She took another sip, this time bracing herself for the bitterness.
‘Ooh.’ Bea clasped the small pile of books to her chest. ‘Then what? What’s your plan? You can’t run around the town avoiding him for the rest of your life.’
‘Move?’ Fleur laughed at the look of horror on Bea’s face. ‘No, I’ll face him. Just not yet. I just need a bit more time to work out what I’m going to say.’
‘Well, he’s made it obvious that he wants to speak to you, so I think that time will come sooner rather than later.’ Bea swapped the books for her coffee.
‘Maybe.’ Fleur shrugged. ‘It might all be a coincidence, anyway. Maybe he’s not trying to speak to me. Maybe he’s actually trying to avoid me, too.’
‘How do you work that one out?’
Fleur shifted on her feet and shook her head. It was worth a try. ‘I don’t know.’
‘No, neither do I. What is it you’re worried about? That he’ll want an explanation?’
‘Yes, exactly that. I don’t know if I have one. It felt right at the time. It was the right thing to do. The only thing I was capable of doing at the time.’ Fleur gripped her mug tighter, her knuckles turning white. ‘But I’m scared all the feelings I had towards him will resurface and it will just break me again.’
‘Oh Fleur.’ After placing her mug on the counter, Bea gently took Fleur’s from her and placed it down too before drawing her into a hug. ‘Hey, I didn’t know you back then and I can’t begin to pretend I understand why you did what you did, but I’ll always be here for you. Just as Sadie and Ruby will be. We won’t let you break.’
‘Thanks.’ Pulling away, Fleur wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her coat. ‘Sorry, I just...’
‘You don’t need to explain.’
‘I know. I know, but I do owe him an explanation.’ She picked up her mug again. ‘Although I don’t know why I’m getting myself so worked up about it. It’s been ten years, it’s not like he’s going to want anything besides an explanation from me. If he wants one of those. I mean, he’ll have moved on and me leaving him at the altar will just be a distant memory now.’
‘Maybe.’ Bea bit down on her bottom lip.
‘You don’t think so?’ Fleur frowned. She knew it was wishful thinking, and she knew she had the answer to that particular question in the fact that he’d literally been trying to catch her to talk to, but still, he might just want to say hi, mightn’t he? ‘He might just want to say hello or something? If Helen is right and he’s here to stay, then he probably just wants us to talk, so it’s not awkward.’
Bea slumped her shoulders as she nodded. ‘Then why don’t you just talk to him? Five minutes and you could give him what he wants instead of being forced to run around the town trying to dodge him.’
Fleur could feel the flush of heat cross her cheeks. Bea was right. She knew she was. ‘I will. I just need a little longer. I need to work out what I’m going to say.’
‘Why don’t you just tell him the truth?’
‘Because…’ Fleur stared into her coffee. Because the truth was too lame to admit. Because the truth hurt more than any perceived ideas anyone might have to why she’d refused to get married, to why she’d done the unthinkable and left him alone standing in the church surrounded by their friends, his family. Because she couldn’t find the words to describe how she’d felt back then. ‘Because what good would it do? Whatever I say, I still abandoned him at the altar, didn’t I?’
‘Yes, but I think if he understood why, then things wouldn’t be so awkward anymore.’ Bea reached out and placed her hand on her friend’s forearm. ‘Hey, you might even be able to become friends.’
‘Huh.’ Friends? That was the last thing she wanted. Why would she want to spend time with someone she used to love more than anything and anyone in the entire universe and be reminded of just how much she’d lost? Nope. She didn’t want to be friends with him. ‘I guess I’ll just go to Plan B and move to Hawaii.’
‘Fleur!’ Bea laughed.
‘I’m joking. I’ll speak to him.’ Lifting her mug to her lips, she looked across at Bea. Yep, she could read Fleur like a book. Bea knew she had every intention of pushing that idea back as far as she could.
‘Okay, fine. Are you ready for an evening of fun at Nettleford’s first ever speed dating event?’
‘Urgh.’ Fleur sighed. ‘Ready? I’m ready to claw my eyes out at the thought of it, if that’s what you mean?’
‘I know hosting it is completely different, but I’d have thought something like this would have been right up your street. You love the dating apps.’
Fleur inched towards the shop window again before ducking away again when she spotted Gregory and Matty still standing in front of her shop chatting. ‘ Loved the dating apps. Remember I’ve sworn off them now. Before, yes, I’d have loved to get involved with the speed dating night. And I wouldn’t have really minded running it but now? Nope.’
‘Now the only man on your mind is Matty?’ Bea leaned across the counter and pulled a biscuit tin towards her. Opening the lid, she offered Fleur one.
‘Thanks.’ Taking a bourbon, Fleur dunked it into her coffee. Bea could literally see right through her. ‘Yes, but not like that. It just feels weird, that’s all.’
‘Uh-huh.’ Bea nodded as she raised her eyebrows. ‘Got the opening speech sorted?’
‘Gregory thinks I do.’ Fleur shrugged as she bit down on the bourbon, the coffee-soaked biscuit melting in her mouth.
‘Well, in that case, let’s get cracking.’ Picking up a notebook and pen, Bea flicked through to find a blank page and held the pen poised above the white paper.
As she finished off the bourbon, Fleur tried to push all thoughts of Matty and his return to the back of her mind before turning to Bea. ‘Okay, I’ve got this. How about…?’