Chapter 10
My morning sessions flew by, and Haley seemed to be in much better spirits, which I was happy about. She was usually very strict with our schedule, but she managed to take a break, and we even joked around a bit, which was nice.
Once lunchtime hit, I was ready to get out of the studio. I was still dragging from my restless night, and my caffeine fix from earlier was wearing off. I’d told Haley I’d pick her up something special, but she picked a food truck just down the street so I could get some fresh air, which was much needed.
As I soaked up the extra vitamin D, I was wistful for a lazy day, sitting on a dock, reading a book away from everything and everyone. I’d never done anything like that before, but I had a sense of peace at the thought.
I inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly as I continued my walk. It wasn’t far to Juan-der-ful Tacos, but Tea-Riffic was closer, so I decided to treat myself to a highly caffeinated and hard-to-find Pu-Erh tea. After grabbing my drink, I exited the shop, but then my reality turned into a reverie while everything became a distant backdrop.
I didn’t understand what was happening or why, but I was now staring at a hammock on a dock overlooking a lake. As I tried to figure out where I was, the wind blew, and a decadent scent of sweetness filled the air. It reminded me of a bakery, but when my heart began thundering inside my chest, it was obvious she was here. A current surged between us, and my feet took off with a mind of their own. She was pulling me toward her, and the anticipation of seeing her again was killing me. But in a blink of an eye, it was all over.
I gasped as if I had been holding my breath. I turned around; the peacefulness was gone, and so was she. I was standing on the sidewalk, watching everyone in their own world, not paying attention to anything outside themselves. A longing sat deep in my belly, and I was unsure how to get rid of it.
Was she close to me? Did I miss her because of some stupid mind movie that took over my brain? Or was this all mental exhaustion, and none of it real?
How long was I in that trance? I needed to return to the studio, so I rushed to Juan-Der-Ful Tacos and picked up Haley’s favorite taco pizza, but I was too wired to eat. My body was tingling, and goosebumps were covering my skin. If I didn’t know any better, I’d assume I was coming down with something, but nothing was wrong outside of the odd sensations coursing through me.
After returning to work, I wondered if I should talk to Haley about what had happened, but I wasn’t sure we were there yet. Even though she had opened up to me about a personal problem, Shanny might be better suited to handle my issue. At least she had some understanding of the situation, and I trusted that shed offer support without resorting to extreme measures.
The rest of the day went just as fast as the morning had. As much as I tried to stay present while shooting, I found myself drifting. I needed answers because I couldn’t go on like this—just phoning it in. As soon as the last session ended for the day, I packed up my things, hoping to get home and do some research or something, but Haley caught me one foot before freedom.
I didn’t want to dodge her, but I also didn’t want to have an extensive conversation. I was at war with my brain right now.
“Boss.” She stared at me expectantly but didn’t say anything else.
Had I done something wrong? Should I have known what she needed?
When I was finally tired of pupil wrestling, I prompted her. “Yes?”
She rushed toward me, throwing her arms around my neck. As quick as the hug started, she moved back as if embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I wanted to say thank you. You have given me a lot to consider, and I would have been in my head all day if it weren’t for you.”
It was good that we chatted before the incident at lunch, or I probably wouldn’t have been much help. I had a twinge of guilt inside me that I wouldn’t divulge my problem to her. But there was a positive shift between us, and it was nice. She was like the little sister I never had, and having one more person in my corner was never a bad thing.
“Don’t mention it. I’m always here to offer insight if I can. And if I can’t, at least I’m good for a laugh.” If life taught me one valuable lesson, it was this: if you couldnt appreciate the journey, was it truly worth the adventure?
“I hope you know I’m here for you, too.” She smiled, and before I could stop myself, I spouted everything that had happened like it was word vomit.
Her mouth hung open, and I wondered if I had made a colossal mistake.
“Obviously, I’m kidding,” I finished, after basically telling her I was a time traveler or something just as absurd.
“Leia, that didn’t sound like a joke. Is this person calling out to you?” She didn’t mock me at all, which was surprising.
She might be a better choice than Shanny.
“Can that happen?”
“Definitely. It seems like your soul is connected to hers, and you’re remembering those past experiences. It’s so romantic.” She giggled, and now my skepticism was high. She was living in some fairytale and those didn’t exist.
“Maybe it would be romantic if I could meet her, but since I have no clue who she is or where to find her, I guess it will all just stay in my dreams.” Even though Haley didn’t razz me about what I thought was happening, she probably wouldn’t be much help.
“That’s it!” she exclaimed, but I had no idea what she was so excited about.
“Okay?” I questioned.
“Dreams. Why don’t we try to guide your dreams and see if you can find out more about this mystery woman? We will be like sleepy sleuths.” She made a Charlie’s Angel pose, and I shook my head.
“How can anyone guide their dreams? That doesn’t seem plausible.”
“Ye of little faith, Lay.” Her giddiness was almost infectious, but I was still unsure what she had in mind. “It’s called lucid dreaming. You are the director, actor, and audience all in one. So, you can guide yourself back to a place where you know she was at.”
“But I don’t even know what she looks like. How would I make that up?” It didn’t seem like it would work, but I guess it was better than anything I came up with on my own, which was I had a tumor causing me to hallucinate.
“Maybe your mind will fill in those blanks when you dream of her. And then, we can put out an APB!” She was getting carried away, but at this point, I had nothing left to lose.
I needed to be in control of my life, and right now, I was at the mercy of these visions.
“Okay, so how to do it?” I wasn’t even sure this was safe, but Haley knew more about it than me, so I would have to trust her.
“Well, I haven’t done it myself, but I’ve read about it. And it sounds simple. You start by falling asleep naturally, but set an alarm to wake up after four hours. Once you’re awake, turn on some calming music to relax your mind. Then try to go back to sleep, but focus on guiding your thoughts to her. What do you think?”
Did I say what I thought out loud or stick to something polite? “Umm, I guess I could try that sometime.”
“Let’s do it tonight. I don’t have any plans. I’ll help you.” She went to the bed and pulled down the covers. “You can sleep here, and I’ll read a book on my phone. Then I’ll wake you up when it’s time.”
She put me on the spot, and I didn’t see a way out. But since she seemed more knowledgeable than me, maybe it was better that she was here for it.
“Are you sure? Don’t you need to make up with Adam?”
“I texted him earlier while you were with a client. We are okay. Besides, you were here for me when I needed you, and I want to return the favor.”
“Okay. Let’s do this.” I set my stuff back down, and even though it was early, my body collapsed on the bed.
“All right. I’ll spritz some lavender around the room to set the mood and then turn off the lights.” Who carried around a lavender mist?
“Do whatever you need. Tonight, you’re the boss.”
She chuckled as she fluffed my pillow. “Oh, Leia. I think we both know I’m always the boss.”
That was a fair statement, but I shook my head, expressing my disagreement.
“You’re not the only one good for a laugh.” She tried to play it off, but I was pretty sure she was serious.
After she put the pillow back down, I tucked myself under the covers and drifted to sleep without any problems. I was exhausted mentally and physically, but surprisingly, the lavender was quite nice. It didn’t seem like I was out long before Haley played gentle music and woke me up.
My mind was blank and ready to be manipulated. I took some deep breaths and closed my eyes, remembering the girl from the incident. Her piercing green eyes, her dark hair, the way she made me feel inside. Then I thought about the dance club and the lake and our connection.
The next thing I knew, music was blaring, and my body was gyrating to the beat. It was like my first dream. People everywhere, but not really there. They were like props. Maybe I was the director of this movie. I turned around to see if I recognized anyone, but it was all just blank stares. If I was in charge, I wanted to see her—touch her. Where was she?
My hips still swayed involuntarily, but then they stopped as if I had become a statue. She was near—a tingling sensation ran through me. My heart was like a jackhammer in my chest. I couldn’t move, but then she was there. Her hands were on my hips. Everything inside me was about to erupt, but just like before, it was gone before I could react.
“No!” I screamed.
Haley came rushing over to check on me. “Leia,” she breathed out. “Are you okay? What happened?” Her concern was comforting, but my disappointment was insurmountable.
This might be a lost cause.