Chapter 21
Each night, I craved the sweet release of sleep to wash over me. My time with her was an all-encompassing love that surpassed any expectations I had, yet there was a frustration building inside of me. We weren’t sexual in the dreams, and I had a growing need to be with her, even though this was a fantasy.
She’d altered my heart, and it would never be the same. It was like when I was near her, it beat like a jackhammer. When I was touching her, it flip-flopped, and when I was away from her, it ached like a physical pain. Waking up each morning to an empty bed was getting harder and harder. Each dream was becoming more realistic, and the loss when she was gone was becoming excruciating. Honestly, my heart couldn’t take much more, but at the same time, the dreams came unwillingly—not that I wanted them to stop. It was better to have her in some way than never to have her at all.
My alarm sounded early today so I could get a head start, but there was a sadness knowing it would be a full day before I could be with her again. I almost called into work, but I had things to do, and at least it would offer me a distraction.
I went to the office and jumped right into work. I needed to prepare for an upcoming court appearance on a probate proceeding, and I had a few documents to review before handing them off to the client. But as I sat at my desk, my head wasn’t in the game.
As I thought about my life, I realized I didn’t have control over any of it, and that caused my anxiety to rise. Work was always a constant and never seemed to let me down, but it also didn’t give me that rush it used to. Before these dreams started, I played it safe and did everything the way I was expected to. But now, I was ready to do something for myself—but I wasn’t sure what that entailed.
I stayed close to my comfort zone, but look where that got me—married to my work and rendezvous with a phantom in my dreams. How depressing was that? As I was sinking into a pity party, my computer beeped with a reminder: Full Exposure in 1 hour.
Yesterday, I was satisfied with paying the fee and leaving, but now, I was emboldened. This was what I needed to get me out of this funk. I needed to do something daring and fun. I didn’t have anyone to take these pictures for. But this was something to treat myself.
I started packing up my stuff to leave. After I shut down the computer and turned off my light, I closed my office door to insinuate I wasn’t returning.
When I walked down the hall to tell Ty goodbye, I ran into Greg, who had a scowl on his face.
“It doesn’t look like closing time?” He tapped his watch and tsked.
“I have an appointment in a few minutes, so I have to get going.”
“Is it for work?” He was so condescending, but I didn’t have to answer to him.
I put in more than my share of hours for the week. “No,” I said matter of factly because I was tired of cowering to him.
“No? Well, that doesn’t look too good for a senior partner to quit early on Friday. I mean, lower-level staff might view that as you don’t appreciate them. So, you might want to reschedule for a time when you aren’t working. Okay?”
“Greg, I appreciate your concern, but no one will complain about me taking off at 1:00 when I already have more than fifty hours for the week. But if you’re worried about it, I can talk to some of the other senior partners and see if they have any objections. If they do, I’ll cancel. Would that make you happy for me to call a meeting to discuss it?”
“Blake, I’m not sure where you get off thinking my opinion doesn’t trump yours, but it does. If I say cancel, then you cancel. Got it?”
Just then, Tom, another senior partner, walked by, and I stopped him to join in on the conversation.
“Hey, Tom. How are you?”
“Oh, I’m doing great since you helped draft those last three wills I needed to go out this week and never would’ve gotten done without you. Your hard work hasn’t gone unnoticed or unappreciated.” Tom winked at me and offered a warm smile. Then he turned to Greg as if he had only now noticed him standing there. “Greg, how have things been for you?” He asked in a less enthusiastic tone than he had for me.
I smiled smugly at the idea that the other partners had a similar perception of Greg as I did.
“Everything is great, Tom, thanks for asking. I’ve been busy because my girlfriend moved in with me.” He gave me a side-eye, probably trying to gauge my reaction, which I showed no emotion.
“Oh, well. That’s nice. I meant, how is work? Have you been staying busy at all? I noticed your billables were down this month. Is that an issue we should discuss at the upcoming partners’ meeting? Or will your personal life slow down, and you’ll get them back up?”
Damn, Tom. I gave him a mental high five.
“Well, they’re not low enough to bring up in a meeting. Did you realize Blake was taking the afternoon off?” Oh my God, he was tattling on me.
“Blake, that’s wonderful. You deserve a break. You’ve been doing so much around here, and your billables are up by thirty percent this month alone. I sincerely hope you’re doing something fun!”
I fell in love with Tom right then, and I smirked as I stared right into Greg’s angry eyes. The negative energy radiating off of him was almost palpable.
“Well, Tom, Greg. I hope you both have a lovely day. I’ll be seeing you on Monday. And, Tom, if you need any more help at all, don’t hesitate to ask. I’m always here.” With a pep in my step, I departed, leaving them to, hopefully, discuss Greg’s poor performance. But, in all honesty, I didn’t care because I was on my way to do something adventurous, which excited me.
As I exited the office, the sun covered my skin in a warm glow, and my mood improved by the second. After finding out that the studio was only a few blocks away, I decided I would walk there. It was funny that I’d never even heard of it before, but I’d probably passed it hundreds of times.
With each stride away from the office, my anxiety improved until my heart started thumping so vigorously against its cage that I worried it might find itself on the sidewalk. What was happening? Was this my body’s way of protecting me from doing something I shouldn’t? Sweat was trickling down my back, and my breath was shallow.
I wanted to turn around, but my legs wouldn’t allow it. As if I was having an out-of-body experience, I continued walking until I saw the sign that read, “Full Exposure.” I stood in front of the door and stared. Was I scared? Or was this nerves? But as much as my body was telling me to flee, my heart was pulling me in.
I opened the door to enter, and something hit me like a wrecking ball right in the stomach. I couldn’t breathe. I saw an arm with a puzzle piece and the words “ti trovero” staring back at me, but the face was hidden behind some pictures.
“Hi, are you Ms. Flynn?” A bubbly blonde came bounding toward me, and I didn’t respond.
Nothing worked—not my mouth, my feet, or my brain. I was locked in that moment with my eyes on the tattoo I’d seen in my dreams for weeks now.
“Do I know you?” The blonde asked questioningly, but again, I stood there like a statue.
When the person revealed their face from behind the pictures, we gazed into each other’s eyes, and it was her.
As if she were polarized, I gravitated toward her like a magnet, cupping her face and pressing my lips against hers. This wasn’t a peck, either. It was a full-on-toe-curling kiss. I’d found her, and the pent-up sexual frustration from my dreams was pouring out right here in the middle of this studio.
There was a hunger as I tentatively slid my tongue to her lips. But she must have felt it, too, because she opened without any hesitation. I glided my hands to the back of her head, twining my fingers through her messy hair. I thought the dreams were life-changing, but this was earth-shattering.
I couldn’t get enough of her. I slowed the kiss down but pulled her closer as I deepened it. I had never had a desire like this before. I wanted every piece of her for myself. My heart fluttered around like a butterfly, and I never wanted this to end.
Eventually, my mind caught up to the rest of my body, and I backed away. With my hands now back on her cheeks, I leveled my breathing and gazed into those steel-colored eyes that I was more familiar with than my own.
“Wow,” I whispered.
“Holy shit. You’re real!” I let go of her face and twisted toward the blonde who had shouted.
“Excuse me?” I said to the girl.
“Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to break up this magical moment. You’re here, and Leia, she’s real.”
My head swiveled back to Leia. The corners of my mouth couldn’t help but raise. “Leia?” I questioned while she stared at me as if words had evaded her.
She cleared her throat. “Hi,” she breathed out.
“Hi. I’m Blake.” I was like an awkward teen on a first date. “What does she mean that I’m here with you for real?” I asked.
“Well, Blake, I want to start by saying I love your name. Also, this might sound incredibly bizarre, but I might have been dreaming of you?” She said it hesitantly, but it was no question.
“That doesn’t seem as bizarre as a random stranger coming up to you and trying to kiss your face off.”
Blondie laughed so loud she snorted.
“You’re not a stranger.” Leia’s smooth voice brought my attention back to her.
“No.” I shook my head. “And I’ve been wanting you for what seems like forever. I’m so sorry to jump you like that.”
“Please, don’t apologize. That was some greeting, and I’ll burn it into my mind like the rest of you.” Her eyes roamed my body, exposing me, but in the best way.
“Well, since I’m your 2:00, I was wondering if we could go someplace more private to talk instead? I have an idea of who you are from my dreams, but I’d like to learn about this you. Would that be okay? I promise to keep my hands to myself.” I smirked but hoped she wouldn’t hold me to that.
Her eyes never left me. “Of course we can get out of here. Do you want to grab a drink or something? I think if we go to a private place, it won’t be your promise I’ll have to worry about.”
She was right. There was no way we would get any talking done if we were alone.
“Lead the way. I’ll follow you anywhere.” And I meant that.
Now that I had her and gotten a taste, there was no way I was ever letting go.