Chapter 26
Iwoke up after a restless night’s sleep. I couldn’t help being apprehensive about today. Leia was asking me what was wrong yesterday, and I should have been honest about my past trauma, but I also hoped that the more I was around her, the more those fears would fade.
But when she pulled out of our kiss, my anxiety rose. It seemed she had something on her mind, too, but she didn’t say. She could have been nervous about meeting Ty. It was a big step in our relationship, and she understood how important he was to me. I wondered if she was having cold feet about it.
Then I worried that if she was fine and I mentioned my concerns, she might wonder if I was having second thoughts about her, which couldn’t have been further from the truth. Discussing all of this with her would be for the best, and if she were my person, which I believed with my entire being to be true, she would understand. But I needed to talk to her before Ty was around.
After the awkwardness of last night, I wanted to smooth things over before putting her in the hot seat. Ty was a loose cannon, and I wasn’t sure if he would grill her or not, but I didn’t want any unresolved feelings between us.
I decided I would surprise her with breakfast, and we could even go for a peaceful walk in Central Park. It would be nice to soak up some sun and have quality time together.
After taking a quick shower, I left my hair down to air-dry, and I drove to The Donut Hut. I didn’t normally eat sickeningly sweet treats, but with her, everything seemed more relaxed, including me. So I grabbed a couple of her favorite cronuts. She had introduced me to them, and I couldn’t lie; I was addicted. I also picked up tea for her and coffee for me, and then I headed to her place.
I took a calming breath and knocked on her door.
She opened it immediately, leaning against the frame with her arm. “Hey, you.” She eyed me as she moved out of the way to let me in. “I didn’t realize you were dropping by this morning. Is everything okay?”
I should have blurted it out then, instead, I walked inside and said, “Yeah. I’m super-duper.” Super-duper? Who the fuck would say that? She would think I’d lost it. “I mean, I’m swell.” Could I get any worse? I cleared my throat. “How are you?”
“I would say I’m super-duper, but I’m somewhere between there and swell.” She snickered, and I wanted to kiss her so badly just to shut her up.
Instead, I nudged her in the arm. “You caught me off guard.”
“By asking if you were okay? I’ll have to remember not to do that again.” I could tell she wanted to laugh, but she covered it with a sexy smirk.
“No. It was by the way you looked at me. It was distracting.”
Her gaze lingered on my eyes and caused my internal temperature to rise.
“How exactly did I look at you?” She continued scanning my body before zeroing in on my lips.
“Don’t act?—”
Before even finishing my thought, her mouth claimed mine. She had her hands around my waist, bringing me closer to her warm body as she pressed her lips to mine. My mind was swirling. I wanted to get lost in this kiss, but we needed to talk. Eventually, I put the make-out session on hold for a second to catch my breath and gather my thoughts.
“You think that’s going to make me forget how ornery you are?”
“It did for a second. But that’s not why I did it. I needed a little taste of you to start my day off right. I couldn’t help myself. You have no idea how much I want to begin every day with your lips on mine.”
Now wasn’t the time to bring up anything negative. She was being sweet and didn’t appear to have any doubts about us, so I didn’t want to bring her down.
“I’m sure that could be arranged.” I winked, and my heart skipped a beat, wondering if I was making promises I couldn’t keep. My face must have given me away because she tilted her head and examined me.
“If you don’t want to kiss me good morning, it’s not a deal-breaker. We can wait until we brush our teeth if that’s what you’re worried about.”
It was awful making her think my worries had anything to do with her. She was truly perfect, and I wanted to show her that, but was she too good to be true? Was I wearing rose-colored glasses that were blinding me to what our future would look like?
“Stop it. I don’t care if we have bad breath or not. We will definitely start our days off together.” I forced a smile to push the doubts away.
Being with Leia was the best part of my day, and if I could have more of it, why wouldn’t I? But that would also change the entire dynamic of our relationship, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that. Why couldn’t I say those words?
“And I thought for today, we would sit and enjoy these cronuts and drinks then go for a walk?”
“Aww, thanks, babe. That sounds delicious.” She grabbed some paper towels and sat at the table, and I joined her.
We ate in companionable silence, and I reached for her hand. She intertwined our fingers immediately, and everything was so natural. This could be our lives, but then a flash of my mom screaming at my dad popped into my head, and I pulled back.
“Are you ready to go?” She took my action for being done, so I nodded and stood. “Alrighty. Let me get rid of the trash, and we can head out.”
After she grabbed her phone and keys, we left, hand in hand. As soon as we got outside, the wind blew my mane around, and I felt free—lighter. I inhaled deeply, then tried to exhale my past.
Once we made it to the park, I was better, and I was breathing easier. But instead of clearing the air as I had planned, I pointed out random trees and animals as if I was on the Discovery Channel. Fortunately for me, Leia went along with it and didn’t make fun of me. She even picked a tulip and tucked it behind my ear, which I found endearing.
When we finished our nature walk, we went to the store to get food for lunch. We had ended up spending so much time piddling around that we had to rush back to my place to get ready for Ty and David.
Typically, when I had company, I tried to go all out, but Ty loved me no matter what, so I didn’t mind we weren’t doing anything fancy. He would eat anything, and he told me hamburgers were David’s favorite, which worked out for our plan to grill. I sliced up the veggies to grill and some extras for a salad, while Leia grilled. As I brought plates to the table, the doorbell rang.
“Lay, is the stuff on the grill ready? I’m going to answer that.” But there was no response. That was weird. Maybe she didn’t hear me.
I went to the front, only to realize she had gotten the door. For some reason, that caused my anxiety to rise, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for this. Why was I so nervous? Was I worried Ty would find red flags and cause me to worry more? Possibly.
“It’s so nice to meet you. Girl, I’ve been telling Blake we should get together for weeks. She said you weren’t ready yet, but I’m glad this is finally happening.” Ty had his hands on Leia’s forearms as he talked to her without taking a breath.
Leia appeared slightly confused but seemed to follow along okay.
I stood in the kitchen doorway, watching from afar but ready to step in and save her if need be. This wasn’t how I expected them to be introduced. But it was going okay.
I silently moved closer as Leia responded, “Yeah, Blake and I both wanted to get better acquainted first before we involved our friends.” She covered for me.
Oh my God, I was in love with her. That was not what I needed to pop into my head when I already had these other things weighing me down. I shook those thoughts away as I approached Leia, sliding her out of Ty’s vise grip.
“Hey, buddy. Where’s your better half?” I threw shade at Ty, but he didn’t argue.
Just then, David walked in holding a bottle of wine, grinning his perfect smile.
“It’s so good to see you,” I said excitedly because it was the truth. “David, this is Leia. Leia, this is David.” I gave them a proper introduction, and David stuck out his hand toward Leia, and she shook it.
“It’s very nice to meet you. I have heard wonderful things about you.” He kissed the back of Leia’s hand, which was customary for him because he was a true gentleman. Leia, however, seemed a little uneasy at the gesture, but she recovered quickly.
She gently removed her hand from his before responding. “It’s great to meet you as well. Blake has said very lovely things about you. Both of you, actually.” She eyed Ty and David and gave them her best smile that would make any woman’s heart want to stop. They, however, didn’t seem as fazed as I was.
“I have nothing but wonderful things to say about Blake, too.” David handed me the bottle of wine. “This is for you. I wasn’t sure what you liked, but the owner of the winery said this was their number one seller.” David’s thoughtfulness was swoonworthy. He had a lot of the same qualities as Leia.
That was a weird thought, but when it came down to it, I guess Ty and I were alike, too.
As we walked to the dining room, I placed the bottle on the table and then went to grab the food.
“Hey, babe. Could you grab the wine and opener for me?” I asked as I set everything down.
She strolled over and kissed me on the cheek. “Of course. Does anyone need anything while I’m up?” She was always so considerate and asked that every time she got up. It didn’t matter where she was going. If she was on the move, she’d get whatever you needed, and it was another reason I loved her.
“No, we’re good. But you can spill some tea if you want. Blake has been a locked safe that I can’t crack.” Ty spoke loudly as Leia walked into the kitchen.
She returned with the wine and opener and raised a questioning brow in Ty’s direction. “And what tea is that? I assume you’re familiar with Blake. So, you want me to tell you my secrets?”.
“Not just you. I’m curious what your intentions are with my friend.” He chuckled, but the heaviness that had lifted off my shoulders for a minute was back with a vengeance.
“Ty! You are not my dad,” I scolded, but Leia sat beside me, resting her hand on my thigh, sending calming vibes coursing me.
How could her touch work like a sedative and relax my entire body?
“It’s okay, babe. My intentions are to continue dating Blake, and hopefully, one day, we’ll have what we had in our dreams. I want to take things slow, but I could see a wedding in the future if we continue down this path.”
I swallowed hard. Marriage wasn’t something I ever believed in. It seemed more like a contractual agreement between two people and not a show of love.
“Ha! I’d love to see that!” Ty scoffed, and my face went white as a sheet.
Why would he say that? He was aware of my stance on marriage, but to say it out loud when I hadn’t discussed it with Leia yet was the worst thing he could have done.
Leia appeared confused. “Do you not see a future with me?” she questioned, and that was the last thing I wanted her to think.
“No! That’s not it at all. I’ve already seen so many futures with you, and each one was better than the last. But marriage…” I was unsure of the best way to describe it, so I let that sentence float in the wind.
I wasn’t ready for this conversation, but I had put it off long enough. “Is marriage that important? Isn’t the commitment to each other what matters?” Surely, she didn’t need a wedding to prove that what we had would last throughout this lifetime.
She moved her hand from my leg and seemed a little stiff. “To be honest, I never thought about marriage before you. Blake, I wanted to tell you this last night, but I fell in love with you before we even met. I want to spend my life not only telling you I love you but showing you. If you don’t want to get married, we don’t have to. But?—”
“Lay, I love you, too. I wish we had this conversation before. I didn’t want our first time saying those words to be in front of other people.” In my peripheral vision, I could see Ty staring like he was watching a made-for-TV movie, but I refocused on Leia.
She sighed, and I could see her eyes glistening a little. “I don’t care who is around. I’m just glad we finally said it. I didn’t like holding back because I was scared I was moving too quickly. But when it comes to the heart, you can’t put a time limit on things.” She leaned in and kissed my forehead.
That gesture always turned me into jelly. The gentle caress of her lips against my skin offered me comfort and safety.
“I’m sorry the idea of marriage triggers me. But I told you about my parents. It has tainted that kind of union for me.”
“I just want you to be happy. And if I can be the person to make you happy, that’s all that matters.” Her voice sounded different, but maybe it was all in my head.
We continued with lunch, but I couldn’t help but think the energy had shifted.
After Ty and David left, I hoped to have more time with Leia and continue our earlier conversation. Even though we had exchanged I love yous, we still needed to discuss things.
Then we could physically express ourselves. We had both been hesitant to do it, but tonight might be the night.
As we were cleaning up the mess from lunch, I saw her staring at her phone, and she had a confused expression.
“Hey?” I tried to get her attention to see if I could read her better.
She slid her phone into her back pocket before giving me a booty bump and smiling.
“What do you want to do?” I walked into the kitchen, and she followed.
“Actually, I think I better head into the studio and clean up before Monday?” She put the leftovers in the fridge, and I wondered if she was leaving because she was upset.
“Do you want company? I’d be more than happy to help you.”
She shook her head and sighed. “Nah, babe. It won’t take me long, and I have to check on the status of another project. You stay here and rest. It’s been a long day.” She brushed my wild hair from my face, and her grayish eyes appeared to be staring into my soul.
“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow then?” I didn’t want to be selfish when she had other things to do, but I was crushed she didn’t want to stay.
“Of course. And, Blake, I love you.” She brought her lips to mine and gently massaged my tongue with hers but pulled back before I could have a full taste.
“I love you, too. Forever.” I wanted her to be secure in the fact that my commitment to her wasn’t changing—marriage or not.
“All right, beautiful. I’ll talk to you soon.” She winked and headed out.
But all my brain could focus on was the fact she had used the word “talk” instead of “see.” Was that a slip-up, or did she do it on purpose? Why did I have to overthink everything? This would probably be another uneasy night.