Chapter Seven
CHAPTER SEVEN
Oscar
“What do you want to do this afternoon?” Ilias asked as he followed me out of the bedroom, still holding the plate of desserts.
I gritted my teeth, not actually sure why I was frustrated. I knew Ilias was just teasing when he flirted with me, but for some reason, I couldn’t brush it away.
“I’m not sure,” I said. “Since we got here late, I can’t remember what the plan is.”
I’d memorised the original itinerary, but with the delay, everything had shifted, and I couldn’t remember what we’d been scheduled to do. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and scrolled through the PDF Marcus had forwarded me. I’d meant to look at it on the plane that morning, but I’d gotten distracted by Ilias and had forgotten all about it.
As I read, I felt Ilias beside me trying to peer over my shoulder. I felt his breath against my cheek, the soft scent of peaches wafting around me. It was one thing to have him closing in on my personal space, but it was another for part of me to wish he was closer. But that wasn’t the worst part.
The worst part was what was listed as the activity for that afternoon.
“We’ve got an hour or so to relax, then they’ve organised a, er, a couple’s bath journey. To help us connect and recharge.” That sounded like hell on earth, but I could understand where they were coming from. I was sure for most couples it would be perfect, but the idea of getting brushed down, massaged, and bathing with Ilias made me want to run far and run fast.
Not because I hated him or was totally uncomfortable around him—he’d snuggled me for one, so some boundaries had been crossed—but this felt like a whole new step. There was cuddling while clothed, and then there was watching Ilias get rubbed down while he was ninety percent naked. I really hoped the bath wasn’t a shared one, but the sinking feeling in my gut told me it probably would be. At least we’d be wearing trunks.
God, I hoped we’d be wearing trunks.
“That sounds… interesting,” Ilias said. “What does a couple’s bath journey even mean?”
“An eighty-minute experience that starts with us getting brushed down, followed by a full body massage, then we get to share a relaxing salt and herbal-infused bath, which includes Hawaiian sea salt, crushed rose petals, orange peel, and a blend of herbs, which will leave us feeling rejuvenated,” I said, reading the text under the heading.
Just saying it out loud made it sound worse.
“So I’m still getting petals in my butt crack. Outstanding.”
“Hopefully not,” I said as I turned around and raised my eyebrow. “You’ll be wearing trunks.”
“You mean you don’t want to see me naked?” Ilias grinned. I ignored him.
“After that we’ve got time to explore before dinner at the restaurant. Then the rest of the week includes things like snorkelling, yoga on the beach before breakfast, a trip to see some of the island’s most beautiful views, a hike, stargazing, dinner on the beach, and some time with local cultural experts.” I hoped if I focused on everything else it would allow me to avoid Ilias’s question.
Because it was hard to explain to someone I hardly knew that seeing him naked wasn’t something I was interested in right at that second. It was a maybe one day kind of thing at most.
Shit. Why was I already putting Ilias in the maybe one day box?
“That all sounds lovely,” Ilias said. “But you’re avoiding my question. Am I really so unattractive that you wouldn’t want to see me naked?”
“Do you really want me to answer that?” I deadpanned. Luckily, Ilias took my question for teasing because he burst out laughing.
“Ouch. Even for a fake boyfriend, you’re mean.”
“Sorry. I’m not good at this,” I said. I knew I needed to try harder because right now Ilias was the one making the effort to keep up the ruse.
Even though we didn’t have to be all over each other in front of the staff, it would look odd if we didn’t act a little bit like a couple. I didn’t want someone to figure out we were faking and think we were trying to extort a free trip from them. As soon as Madelyn heard the word extortion, I’d be out on my ass before I could blink.
I’d gotten myself into this mess, and now the entire reputation of The Traveller was resting on my shoulders. If I still wanted a job by the end of this, I had to act like I wanted to be with Ilias. “I’ll try harder.”
“You’re doing fine.” Ilias’s smile softened into something almost fond. “Not everyone is a PDA person, or touchy-feely, or a desperate romantic at heart.”
“Are you?”
Ilias shrugged and reached for another macaron. “It depends.”
It felt like he was avoiding answering, but since I was also avoiding telling him the complete truth, I couldn’t demand he talk to me. The funny thing was, I didn’t mind things like hugs or kisses or soft romantic gestures. I actually loved them. But so often they were taken the wrong way, and it meant opening myself up to people before I was ready, and ninety percent of the time, those conversations never ended well.
I’d never felt ashamed of being demisexual; it was an intrinsic part of who I was. But I was sick of people’s bullshit and their offers to fix me with what they always promised would be the best night of my life. I didn’t need fixing, and I didn’t need their shit.
All I wanted was to find a man who’d let our relationship develop slowly and give me the chance to see if my sexual attraction grew once I’d gotten to know them. But most of the men I’d met didn’t want that, especially when paired with my job. And after my last relationship had ended in disaster when he’d tried to make me choose between him and travelling, I’d decided it was just easier to focus on my work. At least for the time being.
One day, I hoped I’d be able to find someone who would give me the time I needed.
I just didn’t expect that day to come any time soon.
Ilias held the plate out towards me. “You can’t let me eat all this myself.”
“I won’t,” I said, grateful for the change in subject. “Shall we go sit on the terrace? Then we can eat this before we go to the spa.”
“I like that plan.” Ilias grinned. “I’ll bring the champagne.”
“For what reason?”
“We’re celebrating.”
I frowned. “Celebrating what?”
“That we made it this fucking far. I bloody hate long journeys.” He handed me the plate, and I felt myself smiling. There was something about Ilias that was starting to tug at my defences like he was unintentionally searching for a weak spot neither of us knew was there.
“Are you ready for this?” Ilias asked. “You look highly uncomfortable.”
“I’ll be fine,” I said as I pulled on the dark blue robe I’d been given when we’d checked into the spa. “I’m just not super big on spas. I think it was because I had a bad massage in London once, and I literally couldn’t get out of bed the next day. Everything hurt and not in a nice way.”
It was mostly the truth, and it was an easy cover for the fact that I didn’t want to explain my very complicated feelings about spending the afternoon in a bath with him.
Ilias snorted and shook his head. “Like the worst kind of deep tissue?”
“If deep tissue is supposed to make all your muscles so painful they can barely function, then yes.”
“I’m sure this won’t be that bad,” Ilias said, tightening his own robe across his chest. “You can ask them to be gentle. I’d rather not have to do everything else by myself for the rest of the week while you lie in bed and stare at the ceiling.”
“I think if I did that, Madelyn would give me the boot. I don’t think she’d see it as an excuse for not doing my job. I’d be expected to drag my carcass out of bed one way or another.” I headed for the door of the changing room, padding in bare feet along the dark slate floor.
The spa had a soft, wild aesthetic that made it feel like it was part of the landscape around it. There were plants everywhere, and despite the simplicity of the building’s structure and décor, the place oozed sophistication. It was one of those places that was designed to make you feel at ease from the moment you stepped inside. There was luxury too, but it wasn’t cloying or overstated.
“I don’t think there are many things Madelyn would accept as an excuse,” Ilias said as we headed for the treatment room we’d been directed to make our way to when we were ready. “I doubt she’d even accept alien invasion.”
“Invasion maybe, but alien abduction would be a definite no. I’d be expected to write a review of the hotels on Mars.”
“Hey, they work hard in those hotels. They deserve the recognition. And I’ve heard the food on the outer rings of Saturn is life changing. You’d definitely get a cover feature.”
I chuckled as we entered another beautiful room that seemed to be built on a secluded plateau amongst some trees. It had a stunning view out over the bay, but the layout suggested nobody would be able to see into the space, giving us plenty of privacy. There were two massage tables in the centre waiting for us, but for the moment, there was nobody else in the room.
“As long as I survived my impromptu trip into space,” I said. “It would all depend on whether the aliens had a space suit that fit me, and if they’d let me borrow it.”
“Hmm.” Ilias gave me a wry smile. “You’d have to negotiate. What can you offer them?”
“For my survival? They can be our new lords and masters for all I care. They can’t be much worse than the British government.”
“Well, I for one will welcome our new alien overlords,” Ilias said. “They’d probably take one look at the state of our world and run screaming though, and then we’d be right back where we started.”
I nodded and opened my mouth to say something, but a door on the other side of the room opened and two members of staff appeared. They were both powerful-looking men whose wide smiles didn’t allay my fears that they’d be able to casually break my spine. Still, there was nothing I could do but remove my robe and lie down on the table with a towel across my ass.
I was still wearing a pair of swim trunks, but they were the barely there kind that clung to my skin and didn’t offer much coverage beyond my dick and ass. Lewis had bought them for me last year, saying I needed at least one sexy piece of swimwear. I’d never worn them before, and the only reason they’d ended up in my case was because they’d become part of my regular travel wardrobe that went from suitcase to suitcase.
The brush down and the massage weren’t as bad as I’d anticipated, and I felt myself start to relax as my masseur worked his hands in deep, slow circles across my shoulders.
“You’re carrying a lot of tension here,” he said softly, pressing a little harder. I exhaled deeply, staring down at the floor and trying to let the burning in my muscles bleed away. “Is that pressure okay?”
“Yeah. It’s fine.” It hurt, but I didn’t want him to stop because it felt like he might be able to get rid of the deep ache in my shoulders and neck that had been forming over the past few days from all the travelling. Airline seats weren’t exactly ergonomically designed, and it was hard to stretch out on an eleven-hour flight.
From beside me, I heard Ilias let out a deep huff and felt my spine stiffen. I’d almost forgotten he was there.
Mostly because I’d been actively trying to pretend he wasn’t.
Ilias said something I didn’t catch, but his masseur chuckled, and they started talking in low voices. I didn’t want to be that guy who told them to be quiet, so I focused on my body and remembered what someone had once told me about centring myself.
I started by focusing on my toes, then my feet, then my ankles, slowly trying to work up through my body. It didn’t completely work since my masseur had started on the backs of my thighs and my calves, which were apparently so tense that even the gentlest pressure had me biting my lip. When I got back to London, I was going to have to look at seeing someone on a regular basis. Otherwise, my body was going to continue punishing me for what I put it through.
“Okay,” said the masseur when he’d eventually finished pressing his thumbs into the soles of my feet. “We’re finished here, but I’d recommend you see someone regularly, like a sports massage therapist, because your muscles are not happy. Do you travel regularly?”
“Yeah,” I said with a weak chuckle. “I noticed. And yes, I do.”
“That’s probably why. You need to show them a little bit of love otherwise you’re going to hurt yourself,” he said. I believed him. “If you want to lie here for a bit and relax, we’ll get your bath ready for you. And when you’re ready, come through the door on your right. The bath will be waiting and will be yours for up to forty-five minutes.”
“Thanks.” I heard him pad away, talking to the other masseur, and wondered if I’d ever be able to move again.
“That was nice,” said Ilias from beside me. I turned my head to the other side, resting my chin on the back of my hands. Everything was sore, but not as bad as I’d expected. “I feel very refreshed.”
“I both do and don’t.”
Ilias grinned. “Worried you won’t be able to get up tomorrow? Don’t worry, I’ll roll you out of bed if I have to.”
“You’re so charming.”
“I know. It’s one of my best features.” He winked at me, and I tried not to focus on the way the light was playing across his skin. I’d been trying to ignore how handsome Ilias was, but it was difficult when he was stretched out on a bench, three-quarters naked.
He rolled onto his side and sat up slowly, the towel still draped across his legs. Not that it mattered because I knew what Ilias was wearing underneath since I’d seen him get changed. It was a pair of tiny white shorts that barely covered anything. I assumed when he usually wore them, men fell at his feet, and objectively, I could understand why.
Ilias was beautiful.
“Shall we go through?” he asked, standing up and walking over to fetch his robe. I tried not to look at his broad shoulders or long, toned legs. Just because I didn’t want to have sex with him didn’t mean I couldn’t appreciate how gorgeous he was.
“Er, yeah. Sure.” Ilias picked up my robe and passed it to me as I rolled myself up, groaning as I did. My muscles really weren’t impressed, and for the first time, I found myself craving the heat of the bath in the hopes it would soothe all my aches and pains. I stood up and wrapped myself in the robe, following Ilias to the other door.
I knew now why I’d said what I’d said back in London and why I’d hated the idea of Ilias looking at someone else. As much as I’d tried to deny it, I was jealous.
Yes, this was just a fake relationship, but a small part of me had wanted to pretend I was enough. Just for once. And if Ilias had been throwing himself at other people, it would have burnt that idea to a crisp.
I knew nothing was ever going to happen between us, and a relationship with him wasn’t something I even wanted, but that didn’t change how I’d felt. Like everyone else on this planet, my emotions were messy and complicated, and they didn’t always make sense.
All I could do was get through this week and hope we could be friends at the end of it.
And in the meantime, I probably needed to start acting like Ilias’s boyfriend in public instead of some cold-hearted asshole who envied the way other men flocked to this beautiful man.
“Do you think it’ll be one bath or two?” Ilias asked as he reached the door, throwing a teasing smile over his shoulder.
“I’m not answering that.”
“You just did.” He opened the door and stepped inside, letting out a delighted little laugh. The sound did something funny to my stomach, which then dropped through the floor as I followed Ilias into the second suite and saw what he was laughing at.
There was only one bath—an enormous, round pool that was sunken into the floor so you could step straight in. It had a view out across the resort, but the focus was on the beach where I could see the waves breaking gently against the sand. There was steam curling off the water, and I saw herbs and petals floating on the surface, giving the room a heady scent that seemed to seep into my muscles.
“Well,” Ilias said as he stood next to me, “the good thing is that it’s as big as a swimming pool, so you don’t have to sit next to me.” He grinned and stripped off his robe, placing it on the nearby bench. “I wish I had my phone. My nephew Teddy would love this.”
“Big fan of water?” I asked as Ilias slipped into the bath. He winced for a second, and I assumed the water was hot, then he sighed and relaxed against the side, watching me with an interested expression.
“Sharks,” Ilias said. “They’re his favourite thing. It’s how my sister-in-law convinced him to do more swimming at school—because sharks live in water. She told him if he can swim really well, maybe one day he can go and see sharks in the wild, not just at the aquarium.” He grinned. “It worked.”
“That’s cute.” I dropped my robe, ignoring Ilias’s gaze as I walked around to the other side of the pool, crouched down, and lowered myself in. The water was hotter than I’d been expecting, but it only took me a moment to adjust. It was just like being in a giant hot tub only without the jets. There was a small bench built into the side, under the water, for us to sit on. I sat opposite Ilias and stretched out my legs, letting the heat leech away my stress.
“Do you have any niblings?” Ilias asked.
I shook my head. “Not yet. I think my brother Richard will have kids in the next few years since he’s marrying his girlfriend in December. The rest of them will be wait and see I think. Some of them might, some probably not.”
I couldn’t see Eli with children, and I got the feeling he and his partner Tristan would be the sort to just spoil everyone else’s kids. They’d be the ones loading them up on sugar just before they handed them back. Jules was a maybe, but that would depend on any future partner. I couldn’t see her wanting to be pregnant, but if she was with a woman who wanted that, I could see Jules being an amazing mum. Lewis was pretty fond of kids, as was his partner Jason, so they were my strongest suspects.
And Finn… it was hard for me to imagine Finn with kids, not because I didn’t think he’d be a great parent but because I struggled to see him as an adult. He was still my quiet, shy baby brother who needed me to look out for him, even if that wasn’t the truth anymore. Finn was a grown man with an incredible career as a voice actor and audiobook narrator, a side hustle I wished I didn’t know about, and a serious boyfriend who adored him.
He didn’t need me treating him like a little kid, and it was on me to see him for who he was rather than who he used to be.
“What about you? Would you want kids?” Ilias asked. I frowned. “Or is that too personal?”
“No, it’s fine.” I turned my head and looked out over the vista, turning the question over in my mind. “I’m not sure kids are for me. I like kids, but I’m not sure how I feel about being a parent. It’s hard, and it’s complicated…” Especially if something in the family went wrong.
I’d never blamed my mother for the loss of my dad, even if cancer had been hard to understand as a six-year-old, and I’d never blamed her for moving in with Miranda and blending our families. They’d done their best to give us all the best childhood possible, but it was always there in the back of my mind. I never wanted a child to go through what I had.
“I feel the same,” Ilias said quietly. “I love my niblings to death. They’re fucking awesome kids. But I couldn’t be a parent.” I looked over at him, noticing the pinched lines between his eyebrows, but I didn’t say anything. There was a pause, then Ilias continued. “When I’m back in London, I live with my brother Dominic and his wife, Louisa. They have four boys, so I’ve seen the good and the bad.” He chuckled wryly. “Like I said, I love them, but it’s not for me. I’d rather just be that cool uncle who brings them presents from places they’ve never been… or something like that.”
His last words had a hollow tone like there was something else going on behind his words. Every time Ilias had talked about his family, I got the feeling he was only showing me small pieces—sharing the bearable rather than the truth. He’d mentioned his family giving him grief for not being married, and I wondered if that was part of the problem.
Ilias seemed content to live life on his terms rather than someone else’s, and while I could understand where he was coming from, I could also see where it might be an issue.
My family had never pressed me to be anything other than who I was. But I knew not everyone was so lucky.
We sat in silence for a while, both lost in our own thoughts while the water washed against our skin. The experience hadn’t been as bad as I’d been expecting, mostly because I was able to sit across from Ilias rather than on top of him. The problem was that I hardly knew the man, and the image I had of him was distorted like I was looking at him through heavily fogged glass.
“You know,” I said eventually, letting myself vocalise the nebulous thoughts swirling in my head. “I realised I don’t actually know a lot about you. I know bits and pieces, but it’s all random. Like that you have niblings, and you think butterflies are weird, and that you like barbecue bacon cheeseburgers as long as they don’t have pickles, but those things don’t relate.”
Ilias laughed. “Butterflies are weird. They’re the only flying insect people like. Apart from bees. And bees are far superior.”
I snorted because that illustrated my point. “Okay, but that’s what I mean. We’re supposed to be…” I waved my hand, not wanting to say anything out loud. “So maybe we could try to get to know each other better. I think it might make things easier.”
Ilias smiled, and it was the most beautiful thing I’d seen all day. “I’d like that. It sounds like fun.”