Chapter 10
10
ASPEN
T he paper towel scraped across my lips as I wiped at the smear of mayo from the utterly delicious BLT Miles whipped together after storming into the cottage, grumbling about needing to feed me. Apparently, me being hungry wasn’t an option when he was around. That was perfectly okay with me. I liked to eat and didn’t care what others thought about my healthy appetite. Sure, I was soft in some areas from not watching what I ate, but I never cared.
Until now.
Because was I really okay with these two fit, utterly gorgeous men seeing me, Aspen Carter, who was not gorgeous or fit, naked? Would they care about the love handles or extra padding around my hips and toss me out before we even got to the fun stuff? They didn’t seem like the type, but if they did, I was positive my self-esteem would never recover.
“Thank you, Miles. That was seriously delicious.” I folded up the used makeshift napkin and tucked it under the empty plastic plate. When I said seriously delicious, I meant the food and watching him. He was undeniably sexy, with the sleeves of his long-sleeved T-shirt pushed up on his thick forearms, exposing the ink I so wanted to lick, his full focus on cooking for me.
Face resting in a palm with my elbow on the table, I tracked him as he moved around the kitchen, not once complaining about having to do the work or asking me to help. At one point, the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end from the sense of someone watching me. With a glance over my shoulder into the living room, I found Aiden studying me as I watched Miles, a knowing little smirk on his kissable lips.
And boy, were they kissable. Or so they seemed. Maybe after I decided on their unique proposition, I would get the chance to see if they were as plump and smooth as they looked.
With a clipped nod, Miles slid the empty plate off the table and set it in the sink. While he scrubbed the barely dirty dish as if the plastic offended him, he and Aiden spoke about their morning, which turned into each man calling the other out about one thing or another. Aiden’s full laughter and Miles’s quiet chuckles filled the small cabin, bringing a smile to my face as I sat back, listening and enjoying the simple moment.
However, I couldn’t help the bit of jealousy that bloomed, tightening my chest. They had this every day: laughter, love, companionship. Living and working with their best friend in a community that accepted and loved them. And as a bonus, they had adorable woodland creatures just running around with cute names like BamBam.
It was perfect.
Even their little cabin, which was bigger on the inside than I expected, held the same warmth and peace that they exuded together. Well, Aiden exuded and worked double-time to pull from Miles. They fit together, each different yet a match with the other. Aiden was the outgoing one, always talking and including Miles or me in the conversation. Though there was a heaviness in his honey-brown gaze when he regarded his friend when he thought no one else was looking. It almost seemed like sadness or guilt. I had noticed it the night before at the bar but obviously didn’t feel comfortable then or now to ask what it was about.
Then there was Miles. The clear protector and provider of the two. His gaze constantly bounced around the room, sweeping and exploring. Without a doubt, I was utterly safe in his proximity. Miles was quiet, reserved, and sometimes blunt, but it didn’t hurt my feelings. It was just him. His reticent nature compared to Aiden’s outgoing one made sense, considering his background.
It made me wonder how much he still dealt with from his time in the Navy and what he saw and did. The SEAL I met on that one assignment mentioned that most come back home with more trauma than they realized and didn’t know how to ask for help. And based on a few things at the bar, I had to wonder if his trauma was both emotional and physical. At one point, he caught me ogling his thick, corded forearms. He stiffened as if acting on instinct and quickly yanked down his sleeves, fidgeting until the cuffs covered both wrists.
Though it made me curious more than anything, it made me want to wrap both my arms around his waist and hug him until he couldn’t breathe, until the pain that I thought I caught behind his hazel gaze bled out from him and into me.
I barely knew the man, yet the idea of him hurting, sustaining that weight alone, made my heart ache.
“Earth to Aspen.” A hand waved in front of my face. Completely caught off guard, I jerked back, elbow slipping off the table as I straightened in the chair. “Fuck, sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
I blinked several times, clearing my unfocused gaze, and turned a smile up at Aiden, who studied me with an air of concern.
“You’re exhausted. The travel day, then us keeping you up late. You need to sleep.” I slid a side-eyed glare to Miles. “Since you said you got little last night.”
Shoving off the counter, he started for the front door. Without another word or even looking back, Miles stormed out of the cabin, leaving me alone with Aiden and very confused.
“Um, well, that’s…” Aiden trailed off and cleared his throat. “You looked like you were about to fall asleep sitting up. Knowing the way his mind works, seeing you that tired reminded him of the eye mask thing.” Brows pulled in tight, he shifted to regard the door. “Or he went to go kill the sun since that’s what woke you up so early.”
Despite fighting a yawn, the corners of my lips tugged upward. “That’s ridiculous.” Pushing back from the table, I stood and reached both hands high overhead, a low groan slipping free. The stretch had the hem of my shirt rising, exposing a sliver of my stomach. Fingers gripped around the bottom, I yanked it down only to still at finding Aiden’s hooded gaze glued to the section of exposed skin. The tip of his tongue swept along his lower lip, making a shiver slide down my spine like a gentle caress.
“I love your place,” I blurted in an attempt to distract myself from the fluttering in my stomach and the heat building in my veins from his simple stare.
Floppy locks of hair shifted with his sharp headshake as if trying to break free of a spell, and he ran a hand through the shiny strands, pushing it away from his face, which automatically fell right back into his eyes. “Oh, yeah, thanks. It’s been ours since we moved here. That”—he gestured to the stone fireplace—“is my favorite spot in the house during the winter. I love sitting as close to the flames as possible after coming back from a snowmobile outing. The sounds of it crackling and the smell are winter to me. Add in someone to cuddle with and, if it weren’t for my job, I’d never leave that six-by-six area in front of the fire.”
My throat suddenly dry at imagining that perfect scene with me in Aiden’s embrace, I swallowed hard and awkwardly crossed both arms over my chest, immediately unfolded them again, and then shoved both hands into my front pockets to stop my awkward movements. I wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable with him, yet I was. Not because I thought he’d try something I didn’t want, but with the way I kept squeezing my thighs together to ease the slow throb, I was on the verge of begging Aiden to ease the ache. I didn’t care how pathetic that made me, as long as he helped release the buildup of sexual frustration that started the moment I met him.
“Come on.” Tugging one of my hands free, he interlaced our fingers to guide me toward the leather couch. “Who knows how long Miles will be. We can hang out while we wait for him, or if you want to take a nap, you can use my bed.”
Another rush of nervous anticipation filled my veins, making me burn from the inside out. His low, husky tone mixed with his words made the swell of need grow, settling at the apex of my thighs in a steady throb. My breath hitched, and my lower belly fluttered with desire. Sweat gathered along the back of my neck with the sudden surge of heat.
Damn, this was bad. All Aiden did was mention his bed, not even suggesting him being in it with me, and I was unbearably hot and ready to say screw it to all my concerns. Not once in my life had I had an instant attraction to someone I actually enjoyed spending time with or had the overwhelming desire to latch on to someone—or someones—like a flying squirrel slamming into a limb or a tree.
“Couch is great,” I croaked, voice failing. Rolling my eyes at myself, I fell onto the comfortable cushion, and a moan escaped. I skimmed my palms over the buttery soft leather as the cushions continued to shift, molding around my body. “Oh, wow, this is the most comfortable couch I’ve ever sat on.” The entire frame groaned, shifting under the weight of another. I forced a single lid open and found Aiden sitting on the opposite end, back against the arm, facing me with the smirk that never left his face. “Can I ask you something?”
He regarded me before responding. “I’ll answer anything you ask about me, but if it’s about Miles, then he needs to be the one to answer whatever questions you have.”
“Of course,” I said in a rush. “I wouldn’t ask you to talk about your friend behind his back.”
Aiden’s shoulders lowered from around his ears. My brows pulled in tight, studying the motion and what that meant. Did many women either intentionally or unintentionally pit the two against each other or ask questions that weren’t theirs to answer?
“But…” I paused and licked my lips, darting my gaze to the unlit fireplace to break his focused stare. Studying the soot-covered stone, I forced myself to ask the question that wouldn’t allow me to fall asleep quickly last night. “Why me?”
After a few seconds with no response, I forced my attention to Aiden, who stared at me with confusion in his eyes. “Why you what? What are you talking about, Aspen?”
I searched his face, finding only confusion and honesty there. Fuck. He had no idea what I was talking about. Bile moved up my throat with the sudden drop of my stomach. The yummy sandwich from minutes ago churned in my gut. Shoving off the couch, I stumbled around the coffee table and started for the door. Embarrassment heated my cheeks and had tears burning behind my eyes.
Did I misunderstand him? Didn’t Miles say that he and Aiden both were interested in me? But if that was true, why did Aiden not understand my question?
I shook my head so fast to get my whirling thoughts together that sections of dark hair slipped free from the loose bun to frame my face. “Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry. It’s just that last night Miles said something, but I must have misunderstood. I just thought when he mentioned both of you…” Sealing my lips shut, I inhaled deeply through my nose to keep the tears from falling.
I barely had my trembling fingers wrapped around the door handle when Aiden’s larger frame pressed against my back, his hand sealing to the door, trapping me in place.
“Aiden, please. Let me leave.” I rolled my hot forehead along the cool wood, attempting to center myself and my thoughts.
A hand on the back of my neck, slightly squeezing, had me chancing a glance over my shoulder. Worry lines marked Aiden’s face as he scanned mine.
“You’re not leaving until you talk to me. Help me understand what the hell just happened.”
“Last night, when Miles took me home after the bar, he mentioned that you two… well, thought I was attractive, and—fuck, that sounds ridiculous now that I say it out loud. I must have misheard him.”
His hard body pressed against my back, crowding me to the door until my chest and hips were sealed to the solid wood. With a slight tug, the hair still piled on top of my head came tumbling down to my shoulders before gentle fingers swept it off my neck.
“You misinterpreted nothing, sweetheart.” My breath caught in my throat at his words and the brush of his lips against my ear. “We both find you fucking gorgeous inside and out and would love the chance to explore this—whatever this connection is between the three of us—further. But I’m trying to be a nice guy here and take into consideration that your whole life was just disrupted and not assume everything you ask revolves around me, Miles, and how we want you so fucking bad that you were all we thought about all damn day.”
“Oh.” I licked my lips, heart racing. “That’s… yeah, wow, that is considerate of you. But I was asking about you two and me. After thinking about it last night repeatedly?—”
“I love the idea of you thinking about us while you were in bed, sweetheart.” His voice was a soft purr that had my breaths coming in short pants.
Focus, Aspen.
“And after all that thinking, I’m confused. Add in the fact that I get all—” I blew out a raspberry. “—flustered at the idea of you two and me, and it makes this all feel unreal. Which is why I asked, why me? Why me, Aiden? Why in the hell would you and Miles want someone like me?”
“Why would we not want you, Aspen?” His chest pressed harder against my back, but I didn’t feel crowded in a bad way. The brush of his lips along the exposed skin of my neck had me shivering.
With a groan, Aiden’s searing body heat disappeared, and a gentle tug peeled me off the door. Once again interlocking our fingers, he guided me to the couch, urging me back into the same spot I had sat in seconds ago.
Both of us settled back on the comfortable cushions, him right beside me this time instead of so far away, and I loosed a breath, hoping to calm my erratic pulse. Adjusting along the smooth leather to face him head-on, I studied his handsome face, memorizing every inch.
He had a youthful look about him with his floppy hair and easy smile. Straight nose, high cheekbones with soft cheeks covered in light scruff that wasn’t there yesterday. Aiden was handsome yet beautiful. A desperate urge to trace the lines of his face with my finger had me tucking both hands beneath my thighs.
“What?” he asked, leaning back with a worried expression. “Damnit. I’m sorry if I overstepped just now,” he said in a rush. “I just didn’t want you to leave, not in an ‘I’m holding you captive and never letting you go, keeping you in our nonexistent basement’ type of way.” Both my brows flew up over my forehead. “Shit, that sounded bad. I just meant I didn’t want you to leave upset and without me understanding why. You’re unique, Aspen. More so than anyone we’ve ever met.” I waited for him to explain, knowing it could go either way, good or bad. “And we, Miles and I both, are different with you.” He ran a hand through his hair and blew out a breath. “You want to know why you, but I can’t explain the why because I don’t even know what it is specifically that draws Miles and me to you like moths to a flame. Last night, I saw my best friend, who I would give my life for, smiling and laughing more in a few hours than in the entire past year. I caught him watching you, forgetting about his past with you in the room. I see him finally having an outlet for that overprotective energy that thrums under his skin and is as much a part of him as anything else.”
“And you?” I asked hesitantly.
“And me…” He licked his lips. “How honest do you want me to be here, sweetheart?”
“Brutal,” I blurted.
“I see someone I want to laugh with, who I could see in my arms in front of the fire one day but out hiking and not showering for days the next. Someone whose every inch of skin I want to explore, just to turn around and do it all over again. I want to know what you feel like when I’m deep inside you and hear the way you scream while I devour your mouth while my best friend eats your sweet cunt like the starving man I know he is for you.”
Sweat beaded along my forehead, and my chest rose and fell with every labored breath.
Holy hotness.
Did he really just say that out loud?
“But I’m getting ahead of myself,” he said, shaking his head. With a deep, chest-rattling groan, Aiden lifted off the couch an inch to adjust himself. “Sorry. Ever since I saw you on the docks yesterday, I’ve… thought about you.”
“Yeah?”
“But I will not sit here, focused on what my dick wants, and ignore what you’ve been through recently. So tell me, Aspen. How are you doing? Forget about the Miles-and-me situation we dumped on you because we’re greedy bastards. How are you coping?”
I stared at his face, unblinking so long that his features went blurry.
How could I think about any of that after his hot-as-sin declaration? All my brain cells, every thought was locked on his words. But the longer I took to respond, the more I considered what he was asking, which slowly eased the burning heat that scorched through me just seconds ago. Blowing out a slow breath, I allowed my lids to close as I searched, excavating the feelings buried beneath the simmering desire, wanting to answer his genuine question truthfully.
“I’m…” I licked my lips. “Free. Am I worried about the future and what I’ll do after all this? Yes, but also no. I’m distracted here, where the future and what’s next aren’t hovering over me like a dark cloud. If anything, the last twenty-four hours have proven that back in Seattle I was simply surviving. I didn’t have any real friends. I wasn’t happy. James constantly led me on because he always needed something from me?—”
“I hope I get a chance to kick that fucker’s ass someday,” Aiden growled.
“Get in line. But here, right now, I’m happy. Maybe a little relieved that everything that has weighed on me the last few years isn’t there anymore. I hated my job in the end, but I didn’t understand how much until I left. Everything revolved around James, making sure I got the perfect shot of him, not the perfect shot for the actual article or of the landscape, which is what I love. It wasn’t about what I enjoyed, capturing the beauty only nature can offer. Those shots that take your breath away and pull you into the moment even if you weren’t there. That was taken from me toward the end, and now that I realize it… I’m pissed. I’m so fucking mad at myself for allowing him to use and manipulate me, and for being so damn lazy that I didn’t even fight it.” Shaking my head, I looked down at my clasped hands. “I’m not where I expected to be at this stage in my life, and now I’m wondering if what I wanted out of life is something that will ever happen or if I need to adjust my expectations.”
Aiden scooted closer until our thighs met. I sighed at the contact. Somehow, the simple touch had my muscles relaxing. “Where did you expect to be in life?”
“Happy,” I whispered. “Secure in a relationship I could depend on.” Hot tears filled my lower lids. “I’m so tired of doing it all on my own, you know? Of handling everything that comes my way, of it all falling on my shoulders day in and day out. I want to be with someone I can depend on to share that crippling weight of always thinking of finances, my safety, and everything else involved with living.” A single tear leaked from the corner of my eye.
A heavy arm draped over my shoulders, urging me closer. I rested my head on his shoulder while his opposite arm wrapped around me, sealing me against his side.
“Are you right now?” he whispered, lips brushing against my hair. “Happy?”
I searched inside myself to find a truthful answer. “The potential is there, yeah. But right now, I’m just…”
“Confused?”
I shook my head. “Living. For the first time, I want to just be and not overthink everything.” I gestured between us, my fingertips accidentally skimming along his sculpted chest. “You said everyone needs a reset, and that’s exactly what I’m doing.”
His calloused palm cradled my cheek, holding me in place as he adjusted so our noses almost touched.
“Can I kiss you?” he rasped, caramel eyes searching mine, almost pleading.
“Yes.”
I’d barely gotten the word out before his lips sealed to mine in an emotional, soul-consuming kiss. My lids fluttered closed as a soft sigh passed from my lips to his. With a guttural groan, Aiden scooted even closer, hand slipping from my cheek to delve into my loose hair. His grip tightened, and he used the firm hold to adjust the angle, deepening the kiss.
Desire seared in my lower belly, urging me to climb onto his lap and settle my throbbing core over the bulge restricted by his jeans to alleviate the insistent throb between my thighs. His tongue danced with mine, our lips moving together as the searing heat between us burned brighter. Growing brave, I raked both hands through his hair, nails scraping along his scalp.
“Fucking hell,” he groaned. Dropping his hold on my hair, a wide palm settled over my hip, fingers flexing and digging into the moldable flesh just below my ass. With a controlled shift and pull, Aiden urged a leg over his lap, moving me until I straddled him. “This okay?”
I nodded before surging forward to press my lips to his again, desperate for more. His hips flexed, applying a teasing hint of pressure right where I needed it. My lips vibrated with his needy moan, which stoked the heat flowing through my veins even hotter. Sweat beaded along my forehead and down my spine, the temperature in the cabin having gone from comfortable to inferno in a matter of minutes.
My eyes fluttered open at a sound that somehow filtered through the pounding in my ears. A sharp inhale brushed past my swollen lips at finding Miles leaning against the solid wood door Aiden had me pinned against minutes earlier.
Miles’s heated observation slid from my face, pausing where my core had settled over Aiden’s denim-restrained cock. With a raised eyebrow, he smirked and hitched his chin in a silent command for us to keep going.
My hands tightened around Aiden’s shoulders, and a pitiful whimper escaped, drawing Aiden’s eyes to what had captured my full attention. Because that was what it felt like. Miles’s observing gaze locked me in place, holding me captive while I squirmed against Aiden.
“Don’t mind me,” Miles said, voice even deeper than normal. “I like to watch.”
It was right then that I knew for certain.
Whatever these two wanted from me, I was all in.
Six days with two hot-as-hell men who wanted me and who I craved in return…
This was my life reset, and I would gladly let them help me forget about what I left behind.