Chapter 22
22
ASPEN
W ith a sigh, Miles rested back on the bed, one arm tucked beneath his head as he stared up at the ceiling. I couldn’t stop my gaze from dipping to take in his defined bare chest because holy fuck, he was chiseled perfection. Who the fuck knew a chest could actually look like that in real life? And then there was the massive cock now hidden beneath the thin white towel. My fingers twitched to skate along his skin, to dip beneath the soft cotton and wrap around his dick.
But his solemn tone brought all those erotic thoughts to a screeching halt.
“It was supposed to be a simple mission.” Even my lungs failed to work as I sat perfectly still, desperate not to interrupt the moment. Somehow, I knew this was a big deal; him sharing any sliver of his past was monumental and not something I should take lightly. “Sixteen children and three teachers were taken from a school and held hostage. Within moments of the incident, my SEAL team was called into action and debriefed on the situation. We were the closest team and the most qualified, since the Delta Force team we were paired with was out on a separate mission. With our military’s vast resources, it only took a few hours to get the information we needed to form a solid plan and move out.”
Needing to be closer, I laid my head on his shoulder and wrapped an arm around his waist, squeezing him tight.
“We cleared the location of all hostiles before heading down to the lowest room where the heat signatures indicated the hostages were being held.” His chest rose and fell with a heavy sigh. “The kids were okay. The teachers…” My fingers curled around the worn fabric of his shirt, worry and unease building in my stomach. “They’d taken the brunt of it all to keep the kids safe. Despite their protests, we got the adults out first to get them the medical attention they needed. One by one, we carried the kids out, not seeing a single hostile. Two others and I carried them to the next set of team members, who ran them out to choppers. The hallways in the basic structure were narrow, only big enough for one of us to walk through at a time. With the last kid in my arms and the other two SEALs already gone with their kids, I rounded a corner and froze.”
My breaths came in short, quick pants as I waited, knowing whatever came next would probably haunt me forever.
“Somehow, we missed one hostile during our sweep. He blocked my only exit, and as I worked through how to shoot the bastard with the kid in my arms, he held up a lit Molotov cocktail. I couldn’t lift my gun fast enough with the kid screaming in my ear and thrashing around. I yelled for help when he threw it. A few seconds was all I had to act, though it was instinct.”
“You turned,” I whispered, voice cracking with the unshed tears clogging my throat.
“I turned.” His hand wrapped around mine and pulled it around his waist beneath the shirt. Grabbing a single finger, he brushed the tip along his side, allowing me to feel the rippled skin. “The explosion shot me forward down the stairs. Somehow, I caught myself before I crushed the little girl still clinging to me and sobbing for her mom. I found out later she was only ten years old.”
I slapped a hand over my mouth to quiet a sob.
“I took the brunt of the explosion, so she was okay but terrified. I just remember being unable to move, the flames roaring around me, the thick black smoke, and whispering in her ear over and over to not be scared. That help was coming. I knew my brothers had heard the explosion and would come, which they did, but it was too late for me. After pulling the kid to safety, they used anything they could to put out the flames.” His chest rose and fell with deep, labored breaths. “I have nightmares, memories of the pain. Feeling my skin on fire and there being nothing anyone could do about it. I passed out before they even carried me out of that shithole. When I woke up next, the pain was so intense I threw up. I was lying face down with doctors shouting around me, but thankfully, they knocked me out. Then I was on a flight to Germany, where I spent two months in the ICU before being transferred stateside to a specialized burn unit. The doctors did their best, but there wasn’t much they could do but keep me comfortable while I healed.”
“Miles,” I whispered. Palm to the mattress, I pushed off the bed to stare down at the amazing man, but he refused to meet my searching gaze. “Look at me.”
A lone tear leaked from the corner of his eye. “I’m afraid of what I’ll see,” he rasped, still staring at the ceiling, unblinking.
My heart shattered into a million pieces at his pleading tone. This amazing hero, strong, honorable, and selfless, was afraid.
My still-damp hair shifted along my shoulders with a small headshake. Reaching up, I cradled his beard-covered jaw and forced his face toward mine.
“Please,” I urged.
“It’s not just my skin that’s wrecked, Aspen. It’s all of me. From the inside out, I’m ruined.” More tears leaked down his cheeks. “I don’t deserve you, and you sure as hell don’t deserve to put up with all my bullshit?—”
“You shut the fuck up right the fuck now,” I snapped. That got his attention. Wide hazel eyes blinked at me in shock. “Do you think this changes anything? That I’ll look at you differently?”
“It has with others.”
And now I wanted to murder people.
Not sure what that said about me, that with those four words, I was suddenly okay with the possibility of becoming a serial killer. But I would. For him. To end the lives of any asshole who made this remarkable man beside me feel anything less than the true badass hero he was.
“Do you think so little of me?” I whispered.
“I’m just going off people’s reactions in the past.”
“But I’m not them. I see you, Miles. I see all of you and am so fucking honored that you’d share this piece of yourself with me. You’re a hero.”
“I’m not?—”
“Let me finish,” I begged. Grabbing his hand, I slid a leg over his torso and shifted to straddle his hips. “You’re an amazing warrior who has somehow kept a beautiful piece of yourself hidden deep in here.” I pressed our combined hands to his chest. “The way you treat me with such reverence and respect, more than I’ve ever had in my life, is everything. I’m safe with you, Miles. You make me feel like I can take on the world with you at my side. When my mom said all that shit, you being in the room gave me strength and confidence, which allowed her words to just slide off me instead of burying deep like they have in the past. Yes, earlier, I barged into your bathroom to make sure you didn’t think her beliefs were my own, but it was more than that too. It’s why I came to you, not Aiden. I needed this impervious strength that only you can give.” My hands trembled, and my bit of truth fought its way past my lips. “I need you both more than I’ve ever needed anyone or anything, ever. And I’m terrified of what it means and what will happen to me when it all ends.”
“It means we were meant for each other,” he said. Reaching up, he cupped my cheek and swiped at the rivers of tears streaking down my face.
“Then believe me when I say this. Those aren’t scars to be ashamed of.” His grip tightened but was still soft enough not to hurt me. “They’re a fucking badge of honor. You saved that little girl’s life and took the brunt of the explosion for her. You didn’t even think twice about sacrificing yourself, your body, and possibly your life for some stranger. And if I’m right, it wasn’t the first time you’d saved someone by putting your own life in danger, whether they were in your arms or at home snug in their beds with zero clue about the danger that lurked in the shadows that you and others handled so they could live and sleep in peace.
“So, no, Miles, these aren’t just scars. They’re a road map of the warrior that lives inside you. Yes, you’re insanely attractive, but that’s not what draws me closer every time we’re together. It’s you. All of you. And I’m sure as we go through this, getting to know the good and bad and worse, you’ll find I have scars too.”
He huffed. “Don’t think so. You’re perfect, Aspen.”
“I’m not. I’m so far from it that it’s scary you think so.”
“I have to agree with my bestie on that one, Aspen.” I jerked and looked over my shoulder. Aiden leaned against the doorframe, watching us with a soft expression. “You’ve never given yourself the credit you deserve, Miles. You’re a hero to so many, yet you don’t see it. Ever.”
“You two are ganging up on me,” Miles grumbled. Gripping my hips, he shifted me lower.
“Only because we see you, Miles,” I whispered, “and are so fucking proud of you.”
“Fuck,” the two men rasped.
“You know how to cut straight to the heart, don’t you, sweetheart?” Aiden appeared beside me, his palm sealing to the back of my neck. “How about you show him just how much you appreciate him?”
My pulse raced and heart skipped a beat. Sliding my gaze from Aiden’s blazing stare over to Miles, I sucked in a breath at the intensity there. Gone was the sadness and worry; only desperate need and want flickered in his hazel eyes as he studied the way my peaked nipples poked through the thin cotton of my shirt.
“Have you felt her perfect cunt yet?”
I checked over my shoulder at Miles’s words to Aiden.
“Not yet, but if it’s anywhere close to heaven like her mouth, I have no hope of lasting.”
A delicious shiver raced down my spine at being talked about like I wasn’t here, yet everything they said stroked the broken pieces of my self-esteem that I had wondered would ever be put back together again.
“Oh, you’ll last,” Miles grunted, shifting his hips to press his hardening cock between my thighs. With only the thin towel and the soft material of my joggers between us, I felt every inch, which made my core tighten, desperate to be filled and stretched like the night before. “I won’t allow anything else.”
I sucked in a sharp breath, stomach flipping at his commanding and dark tone.
Hands gripped the hem of my T-shirt and pulled it over my head. Both men cursed at finding me bare beneath. After taking a shower, I had zero desire to put a bra back on, so here I was, nude from the waist up and very okay with being exposed to their heated gazes.
Arms wrapped around me from behind, palms engulfing both breasts and pinching the pebbled tips between two fingers.
“You ready for us, baby girl?” Miles asked while gently brushing some damp hair off my face.
I knew if I said no, both would back away and give me the space I requested. But I didn’t want fucking space. I’d had space. So much damn space that I felt alone in a crowded room before them. I was tired of space, tired of being so damn alone all the time.
“Yes.” My moaned answer vibrated around the room.
Hell fucking yes, I was game.
Today. Tomorrow. Every day we were together, yes.