CHAPTER 7
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“E m looked good,” Evan said from his perch on the couch, socked feet resting on the coffee table. In his haste to get comfortable, a stack of magazines teetered onto the floor. “And Tyson is adorable. I can’t believe how big he’s gotten.”
“Geez, make yourself at home, Ev.” Mallory rolled her eyes at Evan’s sappy expression. Her brother was currently in love with everything and everyone, and it was starting to be a bit much.
Escaping into the kitchen, she heard Beckett behind her. Even after all these years, she recognized the cadence of his steps. Like the man himself, his steps were sure, yet quiet. “Let me help,” he offered, opening the dishwasher and lining up a row of glasses. “Dinner was delicious, by the way.”
Mallory clicked the dishwasher shut. “Thanks,” she said on a sigh, her lower back tight after a day of work and cooking.
“Are you okay?” Beckett stepped closer, reaching out and caressing her arm. His thumb glided over her skin, working in slow circles. Goosebumps erupted everywhere he touched, and Mallory fought a shudder. On instinct, her body listed toward him, a magnet unable to stop.
“Fine, just a little tired. I picked up a shift this morning for a coworker, then Emily called to say she was coming by for dinner.” Mallory covered her mouth as she yawned. “Sorry, it’s just catching up to me.”
Beckett furrowed his brow, causing his glasses to slide to the bump in his nose. “Evan mentioned you’re working a lot. Are you overdoing it?”
Mallory shrugged. “Probably? I mean, I work in the ER. Every day is different. Somedays I come home with blood on my scrubs and a pocketful of some kid’s barf, but others it’s just a few head colds and minor injuries.”
“That’s intense,” Beckett said, leaning closer still. If Mallory didn’t stop herself, she could pull him closer and smell the heat of his skin, adjust his glasses, and then kiss him until the world ended. But this was reality, and her brother was in the other room, so she stayed put and focused on their conversation. The butterflies in her tummy would have to wait.
“It is, but I really like it. I think it’s the variety. No two days are alike, and that’s what I need.”
“You were always very nurturing, so I’m sure that helps get the job done.”
Mallory’s expression was pinched. “I don’t think I’m that nurturing.” It was true she cared for her patients, but that felt like an extension of the job—the right thing to do when people were suffering or in need.
Beckett ran a hand through his red hair, causing a few strands to stick up on end. He looked like he did when they were younger, yet his boyish features had morphed into lean muscle and a striking set of cheekbones. Mallory’s fingers itched to trace the new lines on his face, to memorize all the ways Beckett had matured.
“You’re nurturing, Mal. C’mon.” He scoffed, lowering his gaze while he hung up a tea towel. “You just made us all a wonderful dinner, played with your nephew and kept him calm when we couldn’t find his teething ring, and I know for a fact that you’re always checking up on Evan.”
Mallory bristled, and a feeling of unease crept up her spine. “Am I bothering him when I swing by the diner? I thought it was breakfast, but if...” She rested a hand over her chest, feeling her heart kick up. Mallory has always been Evan’s buddy, and she never thought of herself as cloying. Maybe her brother was ready to be left alone with his fiancée and their future? Maybe Mallory had officially become the proverbial third wheel?
Beckett peeled her hand away and cradled it in his own. “Listen to me,” he hesitated until she caught his gaze. “You are not bothering Evan at all. In fact, he’s mentioned that he’s glad you still want to come over and see him. You could have a place in Columbus, be closer to work, but instead, you’re here in Buckeye Falls. That means a lot to Ev, and frankly to me, too.”
“Really?”
After squeezing her hand then letting it go, Beckett shoved his hands in his pockets. For a moment, he didn’t say anything, just glanced around the kitchen and inventoried the mismatched towels and chipped cupboard. She wondered what he saw when he looked around. “Yeah, Mal. You’re one of the reasons I moved to Buckeye Falls.”
“I am?” Her question escaped on a whisper, her heart shuddering in her chest.
Changing topics and avoiding her question, Beckett asked, “Why won’t you tell Evan the truth about the ring?”
“It’s not my ring to keep,” she muttered.
“If Evan knew you wanted it, he wouldn’t use it. I guarantee it.” Certainty dripped from his words, but Mallory wasn’t convinced.
Mallory gently shoved Beckett back, feeling if she stayed that close for another second her skin would combust into flames. Couldn’t this man see what he did to her? How even a five-minute hushed conversation sent her over the edge?
“I repeat, it’s not my ring.” She sliced her hand through the air for effect.
Beckett let out a long exhale before pushing his glasses back into place. “Mal, why do you insist on protecting Evan from everything? Let the man know how you feel.”
“I don’t protect him from things,” she spat, her pulse skyrocketing.
“Yes, you do.” Beckett countered, taking another step closer until their toes touched. “You always sacrifice yourself for Evan, and he doesn’t need it right now. What he needs is the truth from his favorite sister.”
Mallory couldn’t help but falter at Beckett’s admission. He knew Evan loved each of them with his whole heart, but she couldn’t deny her and Evan were the closest. They shared everything with each other, except for this one touchy subject. For Mallory to admit her feelings toward the ring, she’d have to admit her feelings toward Beckett. And she sure as hell wasn’t about to do that.
“Why does this matter so much to you?” she asked, hoping he had something real to say about it. More than platitudes to make her feel better. “That ring doesn’t mean anything to you,” she said the last part as a dare, willing him to make her girlhood fantasies come true.
You’re right, Mal. I love you and I want to put that ring on your finger. Let’s run away and pretend the last two years didn’t happen.
Blinking back to reality, Mallory poked Beckett in the chest. “From where I’m standing, you’re just trying to stir up trouble. That ring is meant for CeCe, and I’m fine with it.” She lifted her chin, hoping she exuded the confidence she lacked.
Beckett licked his lips, collecting his thoughts. “That ring is yours, Mal. It has been for fifteen years.”
Mallory gasped, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. Her mind whirled with potential reasons for him to say that, but she came up empty. “What do you mean?” she asked, her hand falling back to her side.
“You heard me.” Beckett closed what little distance remained between them. He slowly brought his hands up to cup her cheeks, staring into her soul. “You need to stop pretending that I don’t remember when I put that ring on your finger.”
“I do?” she asked, completely dumbfounded, her brain now the consistency of day-old oatmeal. “But you said—” She was about to go on a tirade on all the things he told Evan, all the ways he’d broken her heart. But that time wasn’t now. She already heard Evan’s footfalls growing closer as he walked down the hallway.
Deftly, Beckett tipped her face down so he could plant a kiss on her forehead. “We’re not done discussing this,” he promised, stepping back and leaving her completely boneless. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” He turned and walked into the living room. “You ready, Lawless? I’ve got a busy morning at work and need to get some rest.”
Evan shot his friend a thumbs-up before giving Mallory a quick hug. “Thanks for having us. It feels like old times.”
Mallory leaned into her brother’s embrace, trying to rationalize all her roiling feelings.
How could she love her brother so much and yet be unable to share her feelings about losing their nana’s ring?
Even more importantly—how could Beckett freaking Fox still have this hold over her head and her heart? Did he know what he was saying with his words? Did he know how much she’d dreamt of him coming back into her life just for her ?
“It was a great night. Thanks, Mal.” Beckett leaned down to scratch Fernando between the ears, and her heart slammed in her ribcage. Her ornery cat didn’t allow strangers to touch her, let alone pet like that. Her houseguests usually left with scratch marks and a healthy fear of the feline community, not gentle purrs from her hellion cat.
Evan strode out first, leaving Beckett and Mallory alone for a moment. Without looking over his shoulder, Beckett walked up and kissed her cheek, lingering a moment to whisper, “I’ll call you tomorrow. Please don’t shut me out.”
The door closed with a snick behind them, and Mallory fell back onto the couch with a heavy sigh. Narrowly avoiding Fernando, she didn’t miss his meows of displeasure at losing his petting companion. “You’ll have to get in line there, buddy,” she teased the cat, giving him belly rubs for a few minutes.
After all this time, Beckett Fox had the ability to surprise and impress her. Mallory didn’t know if she should give him that power or if she needed to hold on to it for herself. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust her heart with him again, but that she did.
But did falling for the same man again make her a romantic, or just a fool?
*
A s soon as they were in the car, Evan cranked up his favorite K-Pop station and rolled down the windows. The summer heat had dwindled down to a hazy evening, and Beckett savored the feeling of the wind in his hair.
Drumming his fingers over his knee, Beckett was uncomfortable. He’d known Evan for basically his whole life, yet this was the first time he didn’t know what to say. He wanted to thwack his buddy over the head and scold him for taking his sister’s ring, and he also wanted to ask if he was blind for missing the way he and Mallory interacted.
Couldn’t Evan see the hearts bugging out of his eyes like a damned Looney Toons character? It was all Beckett could do back there not to throw Mallory over his shoulder and storm off into the night like a Viking. The news of the ring notwithstanding, tonight had been a sheer delight. The loneliness that clung to him was nowhere to be seen, and Beckett treasured the chance to laugh and gossip with friends. Well, with friends who were his family.
There was an instant, when he held Tyson and Mallory joined them, that Beckett saw his future clear as day. He wanted a family, he always had, but he also wanted Mallory to be there. Thoughts of them together had been impossible to avoid for weeks now, but spending time doing domestic chores felt amazing. In fact, it felt so amazing that Beckett had to distract himself before he decked his buddy for taking the ring and breaking Mallory’s heart.
“I was thinking about the wedding,” Beckett started, striving to find the right way to bring the ring into conversation. Guys didn’t talk about this stuff, so coming right out with it would be weird.
Evan nodded, his attention on the road. “So am I, and I think I have some ideas for you.”
Beckett posed in the passenger’s seat, tilting his head just so. “I think we should do slim fit tuxes, Lawless. I mean, they’re practically made for this stunning beanpole frame.”
Letting out a cackle, Evan turned onto Beckett’s street and put the car in park. He turned down the music and spun to face his friend. “Good to know, Mister Supermodel. But I meant your date.”
“My date?” Suddenly, Beckett feared his dinner would make another appearance. Maybe Evan wasn’t as clueless as he thought.
“Yeah, I’ve got some ideas.”
“Ideas?” Beckett nudged his glasses back into place, his pulse kicking up. Should he take his glasses off? He didn’t think Evan would sock him in the car, but then again, he wasn’t certain.
Evan shrugged. “Yeah. I can’t have my best man showing up alone. It’ll depress me.”
Oh no, here they went again. Even though Beckett had never verbalized his loneliness with Evan, or really anyone, his buddy loved to play matchmaker. The only problem, he never played matchmaker when Beckett wanted him to. “I was thinking,” Beckett said carefully, his brain roiling with ways to express his desire to go with Mallory. Hey Lawless, you mind if I finally ask your sister out? I thought that’d be fun. Nothing serious, just the rest of our lives together with a house full of kids.
“Wait a minute.” Evan chuckled. “You are seeing someone, aren’t you? You old dog.” He thwacked his buddy on the shoulder. “You do have a dopey look on your face. Here I thought it was just gas.”
Beckett snorted. “Real nice, man.”
“So who is she?” Evan raised an eyebrow, eager for the answer.
“What? No, I’m not seeing anyone. But...”
“Good. If you’re not seeing anyone, CeCe and I have some options.”
“Options?” Anxiety swirled through his core, his mouth going dry.
Evan ran a hand through his blond hair, a rogue curl falling back over his forehead. He always managed to look boyish and perfectly disheveled. It was probably one of the reasons he dated a lot more in high school than Beckett. The broad-chested blond guy on the baseball team was a lot hotter than a gangly ginger with glasses who tended to hide in the library or play video games and could never get beyond being the team’s bench warmer. But he wasn’t complaining. Beckett knew who he was and rolled with it. Besides, he could tell tonight that Mallory wasn’t complaining either.
Mallory. Just thinking about her brought heat to his cheeks. Beckett was grateful for the evening lighting, otherwise, Evan would grow suspicious. He turned into a walking carrot when he blushed. If he had a nickel for every Carrot Top comparison he’d received over the years, he could have retired before graduating from college.
Evan continued, completely unaware of his inner turmoil. “CeCe has a few friends that might be good wedding dates, but of course, I haven’t asked her yet since I...”
Beckett gleefully interrupted, “Since you still need to pop the question?”
“Haha. I need to find the right time. I want it all to be perfect.”
This was it—Beckett’s chance to say something about the ring, or at least get Evan off his back with setting him up. “It will be perfect, Lawless. You’ll find the perfect moment.”
Evan scratched his chin, brow furrowed in concentration. “I think I need to propose in Buckeye Falls. This is our home. It’s where all our memories are. It feels right.”
“Then I think you have yourself a plan.”
“I do, and we’ll find you a date, Foxy.” Evan unlocked the door and shot his friend a thumbs-up. “This may be a small town, but there’s some cute girls.”
The words burned the tip of his tongue, I don’t need to find cute girls—I’ve found the girl. But apparently, he was a coward, because Beckett shrugged and pulled himself out of the car.
“Pop the question first, then we’ll worry about the rest.” He winked at his friend before closing the door. Evan honked the horn before driving back down the road, leaving Beckett with a nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach.
He needed to figure out a few things, and they all had to do with Mallory. They’d wasted so much time, and Beckett was ready to make a move and put the past behind them. But he needed to figure out the best way to tell Evan.
Having lost Gramps, Beckett couldn’t handle losing the other two people that meant the most to him. Certainly a good friend would be happy for him if he and Mallory finally got together, or this could blow up in his face and he’d be no one’s best man—no one’s anything.
Beckett hardly slept that night, competing thoughts of the Lawson clan zipping through his head. On one hand, he wanted Mallory more than he wanted his next breath. The older he got, the more he wanted a partner by his side. Coming home to an empty place grew tiresome, and he didn’t want to miss the best years of his life—the potential best years of their lives. Throw in Gramps’s confession and dying wish, and he was about to go out of his mind.
But then there was Evan. The guy had been his best friend forever, and he couldn’t stand the notion of a life without his buddy. Evan would understand, right? The man was a walking advertisement for love, so maybe this was the right time to share the truth.
Morning came with no solutions to his problems, so Beckett decided a change of scenery was in order. Sliding behind the wheel, he drove the forty minutes to the farm house. Maybe a day of manual labor would put his head straight. Perhaps strolling through the rows of trees he’d known since boyhood would shift his perspective? Or he could finally fix some of the loose boards and planks on the house? No matter what he’d do at the house, he knew he needed to be there. The memories would be painful, but the pain reminded him he was alive.
Frankly, something had to give. Beckett didn’t know how much more he could take.