Chapter 14 – Skylar
SKYLAR
Fear ripples through me. I shouldn’t have told Aston of all people, but after I left Braelyn at the hospital, I walked all the way back here in the cold and the snow, doing nothing but thinking.
I’m scared. That’s the not-so-simple truth.
I’m freaking terrified of not only being pregnant but also of what being pregnant with Josh’s baby will mean for my life.
I’m not ready for anyone to know yet. I’m not ready for this to be my story.
Not until I have it figured out a bit more.
Until I have a strategy and feel strong and capable instead of weak and powerless.
But then Aston came home and demanded answers while holding me and promising to help me and take care of me and make all of this better.
Aston.
My brother’s best friend. The man who fights with me one minute, then is colder than ice the next. Now he’s staring at me like he’s never seen me before, an opera of emotions flashing across his face one by one.
“Pregnant?” he finally utters.
I don’t bother answering. It’s not really a question anyway.
“How?” His eyes snap shut, and he shakes his head at his stupid question. “Josh’s?”
“Yes.”
His eyes open, and he’s calmer now, more clinical. Doctor mode. “Does he know?”
“No.”
“How far along are you?”
I shrug. “No clue. My guess is somewhere around eight weeks.”
“Okay.” His head bobs up and down as he absorbs this, but then his eyes flicker with something before they turn clinical again just as fast. “Are you keeping it?”
“I think so. I’m not… well, I’m not a hundred percent sure, but I think so. I have money and family and a good, stable job with great insurance. It’s much sooner than I wanted, but I have it a lot easier than many other women in my position.”
“Then the tears are because of Josh?” he questions, and I swallow and stare down at my hands knotted in my lap. Shockingly, my tears have stopped. Something about telling him brought me an odd calm.
“I don’t want him to be the father of my child.”
“He wants you back. I’ve only had a couple of interactions with him, but it’s clear as day. It wasn’t me who claimed you as off-limits. It had to be him.”
“I worry that once he finds out I’m pregnant, it’ll make him more determined.
He’ll make this even harder. I know he will.
He’ll be everywhere. And he wasn’t… good to me.
I can’t go down that road with him again.
I can’t, but more importantly, I won’t. So, yeah, that’s going to be tough.
And I don’t particularly want him in my child’s life, but I’m not sure how to work that. ”
“Was he physically abusive with you?”
“No. Well, not really. He never hit me or anything. But he was emotionally and verbally abusive. And the threat of physical stuff was very much there.”
“Motherfucker,” he hisses, releasing me to scrub his hands up and down his face.
“That son of a bitch motherfucker.” His posture is rigid, and he looks as though he’s trying to calm himself down with deep breaths and bouncing knees.
His reaction is stronger than I was expecting.
“I’m shocked your friends haven’t killed him,” he grits out. “Especially Roman. That guy is scary.”
I snicker thinking about my big, burly, wolf-eyed, tattooed, bad boy friend who actually has the heart of a puppy.
“They wanted to. Especially Roman because yeah, he can be scary. I wouldn’t mess with Forest either, and he was ready to lead the charge.
None of them ever liked him. I wouldn’t let them do anything.
He wasn’t worth it, and I was so relieved to be free of him I just wanted distance and never to look back.
I didn’t want to engage with him or start something.
It wasn’t for them to fight my battle. It was my job, and leaving him is how I did that.
I hadn’t realized what it felt like to take a breath because I had been held underwater for so long and forced to drown. ”
“You know I can ruin his life,” he notes, not exactly kidding. He twists to look at me. “He technically works for me. I’m his attending, and he’s a third-year. I can make his life hell.”
I pan a hand toward him. “Knock yourself out, but you don’t need to get involved or fight my battle either. It’s my mess.”
“We’re both a mess,” he says with a weird sort of chuckle. I can smell the beer on his breath, but I can’t tell if he’s drunk or not. He doesn’t seem like it, but Aston is reserved and doesn’t show his hand easily.
“Yes.” I fall back against the cushion, staring at the dancing flames in the hearth. “We most definitely are.”
“How do you work with him?”
I toss my hands up. “Most of the time, it’s work.
Other than him dropping notes in my locker and making sure I see him a couple of times a day.
He was mad at me for breaking up with him and sulked about it, so he didn’t outright confront me until the other day.
The doctors round and input orders electronically, or we do it for you, and I don’t have to bother you unless I need something, and even then, I can text it. ”
“You’re brave. Braver than I am.”
“I’m not. I’m a coward who doesn’t want anyone at work to know what he did to me because I’m ashamed I stayed for as long as I did, and I don’t want the gossip. I’m a Fritz. We avoid gossip like the plague.”
“I hated seeing my ex-wife. I hated seeing her husband even more.”
“The guy who tried to get you in trouble with family services?”
He brushes the hair flopping onto his forehead back. “Yep. I’m not sad he’s out of Zoey’s life, but I hurt for her that she lost so much all at once. She’s struggling with it. Big time. And I’m failing her no matter how hard I try.”
“You’re not failing her. She’s a great kid, but I get it. I’m pregnant with the baby of a guy I’m not sure how I’ll get rid of, and you have a new job and a little girl who just lost her mother and is heartbroken with it. Life can be a bit of a bitch when it wants to be.”
“Absolutely.”
“If only there were some magic fix that would eliminate Josh from my life and help Zoey through her grief. I’d give anything for that. For all of us.”
“Yeah,” he whispers, lost in thought, but a moment later, his hands meet the top of his head, and he twists his torso to fully face me. But he’s not just looking at me. He’s locked on my face, but his mind is moving so fast I can’t tell if he actually sees me or not. “Wait. What did you just say?”
My brows scrunch. “Huh? Which part? I said a lot.”
“No. Yes, you did say a lot. But you said…” He stops himself. “Holy shit, Skylar.”
“What?”
“What if there was a magic fix? Something we could do to get Josh to stay away from you and to help Zoey through her grief.”
I shake my head in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
He shoots off the couch and starts to pace, his body half illuminated by the fire, casting him in weird shadows I can’t drag myself away from. A half beat later, he drops into the opposite chair he was originally in and covers his mouth with his hand, his gaze once again locked on my face.
“You need help getting Josh off your back.”
“Yes,” I say slowly, my heart starting to pound at the way he’s saying that and his strange behavior.
“I need more stability and consistency for Zoey.”
“Okaaay…” I draw out the word.
“Jesus, I’m either drunk or insane, but it makes so much sense. Actually, it’s fucking brilliant.” His hands cover his face, and he laughs into them.
“Dude, what? I’ve had enough insanity for one day. How about you skip the drama and suspense? I don’t think my heart can take any more.”
He falls to his knees and scoots over until he's right in front of me, not touching me but close enough that we can be eye to eye. “Skylar, what if we got married?”
For a moment, all I can do is blink at him. Because there is no way I could have possibly heard him say that. It must have been a different word. Married, harried, larried, which isn’t even a word.
I sit up and squint at him. “I’m sorry. I totally hallucinated. Long day and all. Can you repeat that?”
His blue eyes are wild yet focused. I’ve never seen anything like it.
“If you’re married, then Josh can’t try to win you back.
The most he can be is a father to the baby if he chooses, and you can set boundaries because you’ll be married, which looks more stable should you ever have to go to court over it.
Trust me on that. I lived it with Zoey and my ex.
On the flip side, Zoey adores you and talks to you, and you seem to get her. ”
“Uhhhh…”
His hands shoot out toward me. “I know. I know this sounds nuts, but hear me out. You don’t move out.
You stay because we’re married, and you help me with Zoey.
You give her love and friendship and consistency and the home life she so desperately needs.
And I play the part of your husband to help you and the baby stay safe. ”
“I broke up with him seven weeks ago, and you expect him to believe you and I are in love and want to get married?”
He tosses his hands in the air. “It’s a stretch, but we’ve known each other our entire lives, and our families are very close. Plus, we kissed two years ago before you got together with him. Past precedent.”
“You’re not an attorney.”
“But there’s a history between us, Skylar. One you and I might not like now, but we can use to our advantage should we need to.”
He grows more animated, getting carried away and almost excited by the idea. He’s obviously drunk. He has to be. No sober man would suggest getting married like this.
“Maybe you should get some sleep. You know, de-alcoholize or whatever.”
“I’m not drunk. I had two beers and two shots with a lot of food, and I’m a tall guy with a lot of muscle.”
I roll my eyes at him. Always so cocky, this one. “At least you’re not full of yourself.”
“Skylar, focus here and listen to what I’m saying. I think we should get married.”
“But… we don’t… even like each other.”