Chapter Nineteen
The ladies decided to join in on tonight’s dart night at Finnegan’s, a rare occurrence. The Nor’easter that had passed through a few weeks ago had proven to be the exception to this year’s winter rule, and the snow had all but melted, leaving clear streets and sidewalks and a town population that was excited to not be stuck in their houses. That meant good business for Gabe, as they had only so much to do in a small town after dark, even in a college town, and meeting at a bar was one of them.
“Bullseye!” Greyson crowed, hitting the center.
“Good job, honey,” Prudence called from her stool at the bar.
“Way to go, Grey,” Annabelle added as Devlin clapped.
Sebastian was next to go. He toed up to the line and let his dart fly, missing like he always did.
“Next time, Seb,” Devlin reassured.
“Fat chance,” Annabelle clipped.
“At least I’m trying to get better,” Sebastian shot back.
Gabe watched Devlin swat Annabelle on the shoulder and a now familiar warmth spread throughout his chest. All night he hadn’t been able to stop watching her. From the way she laughed to the way she sipped her drink to the stifling of her yawn when she thought no one was looking, he was enthralled by her every movement.
There was a lot going on with the whole group together, and Gabe got the feeling that Devlin wanted to tell him something, but every time they had a moment alone it was interrupted. They’d have plenty of one-on-one time later, and he was hungry with anticipation.
“I get why Pru and Devlin are here, but who invited the shrew?” Sebastian asked.
Grey walked off to see Prudence as he had after every turn, and as Gabe was watching Devlin, he heard Sebastian speaking but wasn’t listening.
“Sure,” Gabe muttered to Sebastian’s question.
“The moon is full tonight. EyeWitness news is reporting werewolves will be overtaking Amber Falls at midnight,” Sebastian stated in a matter-of-fact tone.
“That’s too bad.” Gabe watched Devlin as she threw her head back in laughter, her long neck begging for his attention.
“Hey, what about cults? I think I’m going to join one.”
“Have fun.” Gabe’s mouth went dry as Devlin tucked a strand of hair behind her ear then ran the same hand to her legs to smooth out her skirt.
“I think the time has come to burn down The Bee for the insurance money.”
“That’s a good idea.” Gabe’s eyes came back into focus and his head snapped toward Sebastian. “You’re not going to burn down The Bee,” he insisted.
“I’m not going to join a cult or get turned into a werewolf, either. You were in lala land.”
“I’ve been distracted.”
“It looks like your distraction is just as distracted as you are.” Sebastian nodded over to Devlin at the bar. “Let’s call the game good and go over there. Between my inability to hit the board and your inability to pay attention, I’m sure that Grey has won. I could use a refill anyway.”
Gabe was relieved now that he was on his way over to Devlin. He’d found it hard to be in the same place with her but not with her. He realized now what Greyson had been going through the last few months and how he felt when he and Prudence had first gotten together. He almost felt bad for the crap he’d given him. Almost.
Gabe had tried to pinpoint what his feelings were last night while he’s been working, missing Devlin during his long shift, and decided that it wasn’t the blush of first love, rather a lava flow of emotions. Gabe had been in love before—or what he believed was love—but it hadn’t felt like this. His every waking thought was consumed by Devlin. If they were apart, he found himself wondering what she was doing or if her day was going well.
What caught him off guard was his need, his want, to oblige her every desire. When they were together, he was focused on making her happy, whether it was what they were eating, watching or doing in the bedroom. Any other relationship he’d had, he’d been the dutiful boyfriend, doing what he thought they wanted, or what he imagined a partner should be, going through halfhearted motions. Only after he’d met Devlin did he realize all this, and felt a small pang of guilt for girlfriends of his past.
“Hey.” He rested one of his hands on her thigh when he reached her.
“Hey back.”
“How long do you want to stay?” he asked, rubbing his thumb in a slow circle on her leg. “I have the day off tomorrow, if you don’t mind me staying at your place.”
“I’ll be ready as soon as you are,” she confirmed. “I wanted to talk, but we haven’t had any time alone.”
“I saw you yawning. A lot.”
“I haven’t been getting enough sleep,” a gentle accusation laced her voice.
“It’ll be an early night,” he promised, becoming aware of the raised voices next to them and noticing a confused Sebastian.
“I only wanted to know if Devlin had submitted her proposal yet. I know Gabe did as soon as we got home from the cabin.”
He saw Devlin blink rapidly, the only giveaway that she was clearly flustered by Sebastian’s words, and his heart plunged into his stomach. Critical error sounded through his head like a warning bell.
“It’s okay, Sebastian,” Devlin soothed, “that’s good to know. But no, I haven’t submitted mine yet.”
“The deadline is tomorrow, though. Will you get it there in time?” Sebastian asked.
“Are you serious, Sebastian?” Annabelle snapped. “Read the room for, fuck’s sake.” She lowered her face into her hands and a muffled, “I just can’t with this guy,” escaped.
Prudence, who had been whispering into Greyson’s ear until this point, sprang to attention at the shift in conversational tone. “What’s the matter?” she asked.
Gabe saw Annabelle shoot Prudence a look with a slight shake of her head. Unsure what the look was supposed to mean, he told the truth.
“I submitted my proposal to the town council the day after we got back from the cabin. It was done and as good as I could get it and I didn’t see the point in waiting.”
Devlin turned her back to the group and spoke to Gabe in a hushed voice. “The point might have been that we continued sleeping together when we got back.”
“Yes, and we agreed to keep seeing each other, nothing else.”
“I believed we had become more than that.”
“Devlin.” He reached out to take her hand, surprised when she pulled away. He glanced over her shoulder, very aware now that the rest of the group was silent and listening. “We didn’t agree to anything else. We knew what would happen.”
Her eyes widened and he heard a sharp intake of breath from someone behind her. Fuck. He had surpassed critical error territory—this was bordering on a full and total meltdown—but he’d already stepped in the quicksand and was getting pulled deeper and deeper.
“C’mon, Dev. Whatever happened to girl power and every man for himself?” he tried to joke.
Devlin got quieter if that was possible, and the air seemed to be sucked out of the room. “I decided not to submit my proposal. I tried to tell you tonight but we kept getting interrupted.”
Gabe’s head flew back as if he’d been struck. “I don’t understand. We’ve both been planning this for a long time, long before we got together. Our plan was to take what happened after the proposals and figure it out then. We made no promises.” Gabe knew he was digging a hole he might never get out of, but the words flowed out of him against his control. “Our businesses are everything.” Gabe knew he was digging a hole he might never get out of, but the words flowed out of him against his control. “Our businesses are everything.”
“Oh, Gabe,” Prudence moaned at the same time Greyson said, “Oh no.”
Devlin looked around at these exclamations, seemingly surprised that the four friends had witnessed their conversation.
“I’ve gotta go. Don’t come over tonight.” She gathered her purse and fled the bar.
Gabe stood in a stupor, staring after her. He tried to move, just like he had the first day he’d seen her in Amber Falls, but he was rooted to the spot once again.
“Gabe, what the fuck?” Annabelle’s words broke him from his reverie.
“What just happened?” he asked.
“Bro, you know what happened. You told Devlin that your business came before her after she admitted she didn’t submit her proposal because of you.” Greyson looked perplexed. “Did you not just have that conversation with her?”
“I don’t—” He was cut off by Prudence.
“How could you do that to her, Gabe?”
“I didn’t do anything other than follow the plan that we came up with at the cabin.”
“Those were some harsh words, though,” Sebastian pointed out. “Whatever you agreed upon doesn’t mean you should treat her like that.”
Gabe’s brain started to hurt as he had flashbacks to New Year’s Eve and being yelled at in the same place by the same people about the same person. He fought the urge to relent. He should’ve used nicer words with Devlin, she did deserve that, but he’d only stuck with the plan they agreed upon by submitting his proposal.
“I submitted the proposal the day we got back to town. Everything that’s happened since then wasn’t expected.”
“So what?” Greyson countered. “That was cold, and not like the Gabe Atwood I know.”
“She’s a human being, Gabe,” Annabelle added. “Your business is just a business. She had such a hard time after she moved here making friends and opening up to people.”
“I know, we’ve talked about it.”
“Then you should know that what you just did to her was shitty,” Prudence all but shouted, both her and Annabelle pulling out their phones at simultaneous pings and they compared texts, whispering to each other.
“What did she say?” Gabe asked.
Annabelle shot him a dirty look before whispering more with Prudence.
“C’mon, guys,” Gabe implored. “What did she say?”
Prudence nodded and Annabelle spoke. “She’s going to bed.” Short and sweet. That was it.
“You guys aren’t going over there?”
“Not tonight, I think she needs to be alone.” Annabelle punched Gabe’s arm. “What are you going to do to make this right?”
Gabe saw the look of expectation on his friends’ faces, even Sebastian, who had only moved to town three months ago. His shoulders felt heavy with the burden of making five people happy. Devlin wasn’t the only person that his decision would affect, but her friendship with the rest of the group lay in the balance. He knew enough of Devlin that she would back away if things went sour between them. She’d done it when she moved to Amber Falls and he believed she’d do it again.
“I’ll make this right,” he promised. He wasn’t sure yet how to make it right without giving up on his own dreams, but he was damned sure he was going to try.
* * * *
Devlin walked the few feet to her coffee shop, her ears tuned to hear Finnegan’s door opening, both hoping it would and praying it wouldn’t.
You’re not good enough.
The taunting voice followed her.
Everything you do is worthless.
“No!” she shouted, trying to get him out of her head. She’d left her ex in Boston yet here he was, loud and clear in her mind.
She stopped at Books and Beans and looked over one more time before unlocking the front door. The shop had just closed for the evening and Emma was behind the counter wiping it off. She smiled wide when she saw Devlin.
“I didn’t expect to see you tonight, I’m just finishing up prep for the morning.”
Devlin flipped the door locked again and leaned her forehead against the cool glass.
“Is everything okay?”
She exhaled a breath and watched the fog spread over the glass then disappear. She turned and walked around the counter, pulling out her phone and typing out a quick message to Annabelle and Prudence.
I’m fine. Everything is fine. I’m going to bed, we can talk tomorrow?
“Men suck.”
“No, don’t say that! What happened?”
“I don’t know why he’d be any different, but he’s just like every other man I’ve been with. He got what he wanted and that’s it.”
“Gabe isn’t like that. He’s one of the good guys.”
“Is he? He just told me he submitted his proposal to the town council already. Like the last two weeks didn’t happen.”
“Oh, Dev, he didn’t?”
“He did. And on top of it, he just called me out in front of everybody for not submitting mine, that it wasn’t our plan.”
“What was your plan?”
Devlin tried to remember their conversation, but a haze of sex and sleep deprivation tinted it.
“I don’t remember exactly what was said, but I am sure we didn’t agree to go ahead with the plan as if nothing happened between us.”
Emma appeared thoughtful as she finished with the last of her prep, taking her apron off and hanging it on a hook behind the counter.
“I’ve been in the background for a lot that’s happened the last few months, in the unique position to observe what’s been going on without anyone paying attention to me. When Greyson Atwood came in to get coffee, he wasn’t here to talk to the lowly barista Emma, he wanted to talk to his girlfriend’s friend. He wanted to get to know you because you were important to Prudence, and the look in his eyes when he talked about her was unmistakable. He was so clearly in love that it hurt my own heart. That same look is in Gabe’s eyes when he’s around you. If he can look at you like that, then nothing will stand in your way, especially all this.” She waved her hands around the space indicating the expansion. “I’m sorry, Devlin, it’s not my place, but I wanted you to see it how I did. I’m going to put the till away then I’ll go home.”
She wasn’t willing to hear it. Emma’s youthful take on love seemed like a foreign movie with subtitles she couldn’t understand. She knew what was happening but couldn’t put the plot together, the nuance of it lost on her.
Devlin saw Gabe walk by her door and stop. He looked in, his face inscrutable, and she wasn’t sure if he saw her, then turned and walked away. It’s not worth it , her mind chanted while her heart broke. She’d picked up her life and moved on once before and she could do it again.