Chapter 28
It’s Sunday morning, which means it’s been five days since I’ve seen and spoken to Kai. My heart is heavy as I wonder what he’s been doing. Has he been partying? Who's he been partying with? Have girls tried to get with him? Even though I trust him, I can’t help but wonder about other girls.
My sickness came at a perfect time since we had this break for Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving is a day I’ve always looked forward to.
I love my mom’s homemade cooking, especially on the holidays.
It makes the holidays that much more special.
My nausea came and went throughout the holiday and days after.
The bug I had messed up Thanksgiving dinner for me.
After I threw up a few times at home, my mom finally realized that my so-called hangover was actually a sickness.
I didn’t get a fever which usually comes with a stomach bug.
Since my mom came to realize I was sick, she cooked a homemade turkey soup with the leftover turkey and the turkey bone.
She says bone broth has a lot of nutrients in it, which should help me feel better.
I think it helped a lot. After eating the soup for a few days, I feel better.
I make my way downstairs, and the smell of a sweet, buttery scent that makes my stomach rumble invades my nostrils. My appetite must be back.
“You look better,” my mom says as she places a platter of fruit on the table.
I slide into a chair right in front of Bryn. She’s picking at the bacon that sits on her plate.
“Does any of this look appealing to you?” Mom asks.
“Yeah, it actually does. Thank God. I’m sick of throwing up.
” She serves me a scoop of scrambled eggs, one slice of bacon, and one pancake.
Questioning why she fed me so little, I lift my head up to her with my forehead creased.
I feel like I could eat so much more right now, and I probably should after eating so little over the last week.
“Eat small right now so you don’t overdo it and make yourself sick.”
All three of us sit around the table, picking at our plates.
I want to ask if I can at least call Kai today.
It’s been almost a month since I got grounded.
I truly haven’t done anything bad since then.
Well, unless you count the couple of times I ditched with Kai so I could spend more time with him.
“Do you think I could call Kai today?” I blurt out before I think better of it.
My mom stops eating, gives me a stern look, and then glances at Brynlee, who’s talking to her Barbies while she eats. My question doesn’t even faze Bryn. It’s good she’s a kid right now and is so oblivious to everything that is going on.
My mom clears her throat. “Can’t you wait to talk to him tomorrow?”
Not knowing if my mom cares or not about my feelings, I decide to tell her how I feel because it’s worth a shot.
“I could, but I really miss him and we’ve hardly seen each other this past month.
I know it’s my fault, but it would be nice to call and say hi, especially after he knew I went home sick and he still hasn’t heard from me.
” Dread fills me as silence lingers in the air.
It feels like a lifetime as she stares at me with narrowed eyes.
“I guess.”
My eyes light up. “Really?”
She nods. “But finish your food first.”
“Okay. Thank you.” A wave of happiness washes over me. I really didn’t have high hopes for a yes. It’s a good thing she served me small portions, because I can finish fast and call him. I can’t wait to hear his voice.
I go searching in my underwear drawer for my notebook. I wrote numbers down in it the day I got my phone back—just in case I got my phone taken away again. Good thing.
After finding it, I lie flat on my back on my bed and dial Kai.
With each ring, excitement bubbles up inside of me. I feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I won’t be grounded forever.
“Hello?” a groggy voice says over the phone.
“Kai?”
“Yeah, it’s me.” I hear shuffling in the background.
“Kai. It’s me.”
“Me who?”
My stomach drops. Is he joking?
“Blakely.”
I hear more shuffling in the background, followed by the sound of a girl’s voice say. “Who is it?”
My heart drops like a heavy brick down to the pit of my stomach. “Kai, what the fuck?” I yell.
“Oh sorry. That’s just my girlfriend.” There’s a chuckling noise in the background, and it only confuses me even more.
He thinks this is funny. Seriously?
“Kai!” Someone yells through the phone; it sounds like it’s far away, and it’s muffled. I can barely hear it.
“What?” Kai’s voice finally comes through.
A sense of relief washes over me.
It was fucking Kevin. Ugh. Their voices sound so similar over the phone.
“What is my phone doing in here? I’ve been looking all over for it,” Kai says.
“I don’t know. Here, take it. Someone is on the phone for you. And she might be pissed.”
Kai sighs. “What did you do?” There’s a pause. “Hello?”
“Kai.” I hear a door shut, followed by another door and then more shuffling.
“Holy shit. I thought I’d never hear your voice again. It’s been days.”
“I know. I’m surprised my mom let me call you.”
“Oh. I thought you were sneaking the phone or something.”
“No. I asked if I could call you.” I clear my throat.
“Your brother is an asshole.” I’ve had little interaction with Kevin, despite how much I’ve partied at his house.
He keeps to his friends and away from Kai and his friends.
Maybe because of the age difference. Who knows? I never thought he would act like that.
“What did he do?”
“He acted like you, and then my heart dropped right out of me when I heard the girl in the background. I thought you were with someone else. I saw red.” I sniffle. Why am I getting so emotional?
“Hey, don’t cry. I’m sorry. He can be an asshole sometimes.”
“Yeah, I never realized he was like that. He doesn’t seem like he would be like that since you two are so close.”
“Fucking with each other like that is just a brother thing. I don’t want to talk about him. Are you feeling better? Paige told me you went home sick. I was looking all over for you during lunch and couldn’t find you, and I finally saw Paige and asked.”
“Yeah. I feel a lot better today.”
“I’m glad. So you’ll be at school tomorrow?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh, good. I can’t wait to wrap you in my arms and never let go.”
That’s exactly what I need right now. His touch alone makes me feel comfort I’ve never felt before.
I can’t shake this lingering feeling that keeps running through my mind.
Do I love Kai? How does someone know for sure if they love someone?
Can someone this young fall in love? I should have waited to lose my virginity once I knew for sure I loved him.
But I felt strongly about him then, too.
Did I love him back then and not know it?
“I can’t wait to be in your arms.” I sigh. “I hate this so much.”
“Has your mom said when she’s going to unground you?”
“No. I had a feeling she hated me until a couple of hours ago when she let me call you.”
“Your mom doesn’t hate you.”
“It feels like it.”
“How?”
“Every time I walk into the same room as her, I get this sense of dread from her when I’m near.”
“Hmm,” Kai says.
“It’s hard to explain because it’s more of a feeling than anything.”
“When she ungrounds you this time, you can’t sneak out anymore.”
“Then we would hardly see each other.” I groan.
“It’s better than not seeing each other at all.”
“You’re right.”
I’m getting mixed feelings from Kai. He’s the one who gave me the courage to sneak out, and now he’s telling me to stop. I guess that’s good, but it makes me feel like he doesn’t want to see me as much as he used to.
I pause and take a deep breath.
If I think logically, I know he cares about me—and a lot. He doesn’t want me to sneak out and get in even more trouble, and that shows just how much he cares.
“It will be easier soon. I’m so close to buying a car, so I won’t have to share with Kevin anymore.”
My face lights up. I gasp, pure excitement rushing through my veins.
“Oh, my gosh! I can’t wait.”
Kai and I end up talking for hours and don’t hang up until my mom forces me off the phone.
Our conversation just kept going and going, and neither of us even realized how long we’d been on the phone for.
It’s so easy to talk to him. His voice was just what I needed to make me feel better.
He never makes me feel less about myself for things I tell him.
He never makes me feel like I’m dumb for having the feelings I do, especially about other girls.
It’s comforting knowing I won’t be belittled for sharing whatever I want with him.