Chapter 30
I had a whirlwind of emotions when I got home yesterday.
I didn’t know how to act, but I knew I had to act normal so my mom wouldn’t suspect anything.
I heard the best time to take a pregnancy test is in the morning, so I brought home two pregnancy tests.
I hid them beneath my dirty clothes and woke up extra early, so no one saw me carrying the test in my hand as I walked into the bathroom.
Once again, those two pink lines were staring back at me. Not two, but four. Because right after the first one, I took another one to make sure.
Another positive.
The dread over telling Kai hits me harder now that the time has come.
I could have asked my mom if I could call him, but I wanted to tell him face-to-face.
I wanted to see his body language to make sure he wouldn’t lie to me over the phone about being okay with this.
He could lie to me in person, but I’ll be able to read him better this way.
“Hey,” I mumble as I walk up to Kai. He’s been waiting for me by the front doors.
He pulls me into a hug. I squeeze him a little tighter, hoping this isn’t the last time he’ll hold me.
“Can we go somewhere and talk?”
His brows furrow. “Yeah. Is everything okay?”
Ignoring his question. “Do you have the car today?”
“Yeah. Do you need to go somewhere?”
“No, I don’t want to talk about this inside the school.”
He grabs my hand and leads me to his brother’s car. I realize, as we’re walking to his brother’s car, that we don’t even have a car for ourselves.
How are we going to do this?
Kai turns the ignition and blasts the heater.
I reach down into my backpack and pull out the shirt I hid the tests in.
Before unrolling the shirt, I glance between Kai and the tests, noticing his wide-eyed expression as he looks between me and the shirt in my hands. I unroll the shirt, and the tests fall into my hand. I lift them to show Kai.
Kai reaches for one of the tests and stares at it, wide-eyed. His mouth drops open, and he runs his hands through his hair, leaning his head against the seat.
“Is this why you’ve been sick?”
I nod. Speechless.
He looks back down at the test and shakes his head. My eyes begin to water; I have no clue what he’s thinking. It’s scary…not knowing what the future holds for us.
He looks at me with worry in his eyes. “Are you okay?”
I’m taken aback by his worry about me and only me. “I don’t know. Are you?”
“This isn’t what I was expecting.” He runs his hand over his mouth and down his jaw as he continues staring at the test. “Do you want to keep it?”
I shrug my shoulders. “How are we going to take care of a baby?”
“If you want to keep it, we will figure it out.”
“What do you want to do?”
“I will do anything you want to do.” He pauses. “No, we’re keeping it. We got ourselves into this and we will have to figure it out.”
“What?”
“We’re keeping it. Everything will work out fine. I promise,” he says, grabbing my hand and placing a kiss on the top of it.
“Kai. We don’t even have our own place. We don’t have our own vehicle. We have nothing. How do you expect us to do this?”
Shock appears on his face as I ask the questions, and then, after a beat, his face relaxes a bit.
“I’ll buy a car this weekend. I’ve been saving up for the car that I want, but this is more important. We can get a car that isn’t as expensive.”
I’m surprised by his maturity. I was so worried he’d leave me, and he’s giving up the car he wants for one we can afford.
The nerves I was feeling earlier subside a little.
“My mom is going to kick me out. She has always told me she will not raise another kid. I’m going to need somewhere to go when I tell her.”
“We’ll get our own place,” he says.
“How? We’re not eighteen. We’re both going to school. You only work part-time, and I don’t work at all. And no way am I moving in with Kevin,” I say, breathless.
“We’ll figure it out.”
“How are we going to figure it out, Kai? Tell me. How?” Nerves are running through my body again.
I’m tense in this seat because of all the questions popping up in my head.
“And even if we figure it out, how are we going to afford an apartment and everything that comes with it? And a baby? How the hell are we going to afford a baby? Do you even make enough to pay for anything?” I wipe the tears from my cheeks and rest my trembling hands underneath my legs as I try to compose myself.
The weight of my emotions is taking over too quickly.
“And no one is going to hire a sixteen-year-old pregnant girl.”
“Hey,” he says, running the back of his hand down my cheek. “Give me some time and I’ll get everything figured out. I promise.”
“How much time? Because I don’t think I can hide this from my mom anymore, and she’s going to kick me out when she finds out.”
“If she finds out before we tell her, I’m sure Kevin won’t mind you staying with him until we find something.”
Just thinking about staying with him makes my stomach queasy, but I know I can’t be too picky since I got myself into a mess.
All I know right now is we better figure something out quick, or I’m going to be homeless, sixteen, and pregnant.
Thankfully, it’s winter, so I can hide my growing stomach with sweaters.
I can’t keep any food down, though, which makes me think I’m losing weight rather than gaining.
But soon, I won’t be able to hide the bump regardless of how much I eat or not.