Chapter 27
Mari
The words echoed in my head, a reverberation that I could not stop hearing, only it wasn’t my voice, it wasn’t even Feather’s.
It was Tulli’s.
We need to go.
Only it was too late for Tulli, and it was my fault for staying so long. She was gone, slaughtered, and we were still here.
Logically, I knew there had been no opportunity for us to leave. Not really. But that didn’t change how I felt, and now?
Now I was tied to Gabe, and he could find me anytime, anywhere through the Prism.
And I knew in the center of my bones, with every beat of my heart that if I ran, he would call me back.
“I should have tried harder.”
I was on my knees, my forehead pressed to the cool tile in front of the balcony, trying to understand everything that had happened, feeling like I was still trapped in the nightmare that hadn’t been a nightmare at all.
Feather spoke from where she lay on the bed. “Mari, we can still leave this place. I think…I think she would want us to try again.”
Her voice was raspy from all the crying, thick with tears still. But she was right, Tulli would not want us to give up.
I swallowed hard and slowly sat up, my body chilled from being on the cold tile. “I know.”
“Do you have any ideas?”
Forcing myself to my feet, I stripped off every piece of clothing as I walked to the bathroom and spun on the handle to the shower.
The spray poured from the wall, a true waterfall cascading over me.
I didn’t turn it to hot, but let it run barely warm, slowly taking it colder until I was gasping, my skin prickling and my face going numb from the water pulled from the depths of the earth.
Shaking, teeth chattering, I stayed where I was and let the water numb not only my skin, but everything else. My heart. My fear. My pain. And in that numb state, clarity finally found me.
Like the ocean, as Tulli had always said. Beautiful when calm. A motherfucking tempest once roused.
If I was going to leave this place, I had to make sure my Doves were cared for.
Tipping my head back, the water slammed into my chest, and I let out the scream of rage and pain that I’d been holding since I’d seen Tulli, my beautiful sister, throat slashed, eyes wide, her life stolen from her.
Over and over, I let it out until there was no air left in me.
When I turned the water off, I was no longer shaking, as if the cold had sunk into me, replacing the softness I’d held onto for so long.
Feather stood quietly waiting behind me, a thick towel held open. She wrapped it around my shoulders.
I finally looked into her eyes, calm flowing in and out of me like the shoreline of an ocean I hadn’t seen since I’d been a child.
“I have a plan.”
“I am taking all of my Doves to see a friend who recently lost one of her own Doves.”
Luc looked us all over. “All of you?”
“They are grieving,” Feather said softly, “And so are we. We…we need each other, Luc. No one can understand what we are going through better than our other sisters.”
His eyes softened and he nodded after arguing with me for nearly ten minutes, one request from Feather and he gave in. “The king made it clear that you were to be protected at all costs. All of you. So, the only way I’m doing this is if I escort you myself.”
“Fine, Luc, we are always glad for your company.” I motioned for him to lead the way.
He paused and offered his arm to Feather, which she took with a nod of thanks.
I allowed them to move ahead of me and then motioned for my girls to follow. Luc looked over his shoulder. “Briar Queen—”
“I will bring up the rear, Luc. I will not let anyone near my girls.”
They each touched my hand as they went by, their fingers brushing across the steel ring that I wore even now. Perhaps I would never take it off.
The walk to the House of Lotus and Glass was not terribly long, and the streets were as they always were—bustling and alive—which was so strange to me. Fallen and humans alike acted like the world had not been ripped out from under me.
Of course, to them it was just another death. Assuming they even knew that another Dove had died.
Kami herself opened the door, gathering Feather first into her arms, and then each one of my Doves one by one until she reached me.
“Mari. I wish I were truly meeting you for the first time, not like this.” Her eyes filled with tears.
It took all I had not to fall to pieces again, to steel my back, let my tears stream but not break. “Kami…do you have something to drink? Stronger than tea.”
She took my hand and then we both looked to Luc who stood at the door. “I will wait here, Briar Queen.”
I patted his arm. “Thank you, Luc.”
Once Kami had me settled in the drawing room, a large pottery mug of steaming tea in my hands, the liquid at least half caramel cream liquor, only then did I speak.
“I would ask something of you, Kami.”
“Anything—”
“Do not agree so quickly.” I held up one hand, clutching the warm drink to me. Even during the walk here, the cold had not left me. Not that I felt ill for it, just…icy.
Her eyebrows rose and she tipped her head for me to continue. “Ask, then, friend.”
This was the part that cut me. I locked eyes with her. “Will you take on my Doves and train Faiza to take over the House of Rose and Lantern?”
Very slowly she lowered her cup to the low table between us. “And where will you be, my friend?”
“Hunting.”
The air in the room seemed to…no it did chill.
Her chest rose and fell faster. “And if I wanted to go hunting with you?”
My lips tightened to hold back the tremble. Not anger…relief. Gratitude. No one would understand what I had to do better than another who had Doves under her wing. Because we weren’t Doves once we had girls to protect.
We were dragons.
“I would say that I see your heart, but getting out will be difficult already without adding another person to take.”
“But you have a plan?”
“I do.”
“And have the girls agreed to this?” Kami picked her tea up and took not a sip but a gulp. I followed suit, the heat quickly chilling inside of me.
“I would ask them, of course. I will not force this on them. But I think…I think under the new king it will be safer here now. Jastani…is pregnant. A girl, she thinks.”
Kami stood and went to the door, pausing. “Feather?”
“She will come with me.”
“You could have left them on my doorstep, and I would have taken them in, Mari.”
I smiled. “But that is not what friends do, and I don’t want any more secrets. I’ve carried enough, for long enough.”
My Doves all slipped into the room, one by one, finding seats.
While I’d been training Snow to be my replacement…
it was Faiza who showed me what I needed to see.
Faiza stayed standing and I smiled at her first. She was the youngest of my girls, but it was the fire in her that told me she was the one to step into the Briar Queen’s shoes.
Her dark hair wasn’t too many shades lighter than my own.
Her eyes a pale, smoky gray to my blue. Not that her coloring mattered, except that it would be part of my ability to slip away.
Kami sat back down in her seat and I stood, working the words through my mind one more time before I spoke.
“Losing Tulli is a tragedy that could only be made worse by one thing.” Holly leaned into Feather, tears streaming down her face. “I refuse to let any other woman be killed by a monster. Certainly not one who we trusted. Harald…was the one who killed Tulli.”
Shocked silence reigned because we’d all treated Harald like a little brother from the day he’d been shoved onto the boat to the territories. Simple, but sweet, kind and maybe a little needy, but not even I could believe it was him, and I’d seen his face as he’d killed Tulli.
I drew in a sharp breath.
"You all know that I killed Shazeera. That she is not the first Fallen that I have ended.” They all looked to Feather, and she instinctively touched the scars on her face. Kami was the only one shocked.
“I thought that was a rumor made to solidify your reputation, Mari.” Kami’s eyes were wide now. “You truly are the Briar Queen.”
I didn’t like revisiting those days, and I shook it off quickly. “I made sure he wouldn’t hurt any other Doves ever again. And I will make sure of the same when it comes to Harald.”
“You’re leaving us, aren’t you?” Faiza crossed her arms and glared at me. “To kill him? What if we want to help? What if I want to ram a knife up his ass and make him scream for killing Tulli, for killing Alethea? For all of us?”
The other girls shrunk back, perhaps not even realizing they did it, even as Faiza stepped forward, her fist clenched and her cheeks bright even while her eyes glistened with tears. Anger and grief mingling.
Kami put a hand over her heart. “Ahh, well chosen, Mari. She will be an amazing dragon.”
Faiza frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“I love you all, you are my family. Family that found one another in the darkest place our world holds, and we have kept each other’s secrets and safety close. And you are right. I am leaving. Feather and I will hunt Harald down as he has left Seventhell.”
More than a few of the girls went to their knees and it took everything I had left in me to steel myself.
“Faiza. You have the fire to protect them, as I did. As Kami does. I want you to train with her, to become the next Briar Queen, Faiza. Will you do this? Will you take on the safety and secrets of your sisters?”
Faiza closed her eyes. “I will.”
I walked over to her and slipped off my rose and bramble ring, slipping it over her trembling fingers, then pulled her into a tight hug, my heart fighting to burst out of my chest for the sheer amount of love that swelled in the room.
“Then I must ask you to keep one more secret for me, to help Feather and I slip away...”