4 Promise
The rain pounds down from the sky, like the heavens are mourning. It softens the world, blurring all the edges. It settles on the black casket, marble headstones, and the fox and dagger inlaid into the polished wood.
The cold stings my cheeks, but it doesn’t reach me. My gloves might as well be paper for all the warmth they give. My body is here, standing on the soaked ground. But my mind keeps replaying everything. The gunfire. The blood. His words.
My hand tightens around my umbrella.
Lucian stands at the front of the gathered circle, his gloved hands clasped tightly in front of him. Every word rings out in my ears.
“Tex Ward was more than a fighter. He was more than his skill, more than the strength we all relied on.” His breath clouds the air. “He was loyal. He was the shield to those who could not stand alone. And when the moment came, he gave everything to protect the people he loved.”
A chill moves through me. Protect the people he loved. He loved me.
Beside me, Jace’s gloved hand brushes against mine briefly before falling back to his side. Maeve squeezes my arm on the other side. Luca and Noah’s supporting presence behind me.
Lucian’s voice dips, “Tex died in service to The Guild’s code, but more than that, he died so that others could live. We will honor him not only today, but every day from this moment forward.”
The silence is heavy as Lucian takes a step back. Giving space for anyone who wishes to say their final goodbye. One by one, members file forward, gloved hands brushing the crest, murmured words floating away on the wind. Some stand in silence, others bow their heads before stepping back.
My boots step in puddles on the ground. The cold bites through my leggings as I kneel beside the casket. The gold threads in the crest catch the winter light, a stark contrast against the black. My fingers tremble as I press them against the fox’s head.
“I swear to you, Tex,” The words are thick in my throat, “He will pay for this. I won’t stop until he’s gone.” I press my hand firmly against the casket. “I promise Daniel will get what he deserves.”
The rain lands in my hair, my lashes, mixing with the tears that streak down my cheeks. The raindrops dot the casket like stars in the night sky.
“Say hi to Ellie for me.” I barely get the words out.
I want to say more, tell him how he mattered. That I’ll never forget the way he broke my walls down so easily. The way he made sure I wasn’t alone, even when I didn’t know I wanted company. But my throat locks around the words. My grief burns away into something colder, harder.
I stay until the creak of the ropes makes me flinch. I watch as he slowly descends into the earth, the dark rectangle swallowing the gleam of polished wood inch by inch. I can’t bring myself to say goodbye.
Goodbye feels like a door closing, like the last thread snapping. A slight breeze moves my hair, brushing against my cheek. I close my eyes, and I swear I can feel his thumb. Telling me he’s there, he’ll always be watching over me. That I’ll never be alone.
When I rise, Jace stands like a silent shadow a few paces behind me.
His eyes follow me, but he doesn’t speak.
He doesn’t have to. I can feel eyes on me.
I’m making sure they know that I’m choosing to stand back up.
I will get vengeance for Tex. He was ripped away from this world way too soon.
And Daniel is still out there breathing.
Not for long.
The Guild lounge feels wrong like this.
Too many people and all these pointless conversations layered over fake grief. Glasses clink softly. Someone laughs—quick and startled—like they forgot where they were.
Tex should be here, lounging beside me and making some comment about how all this rich shit is stupid under his breath.
I’m sitting on one of the couches by the fireplace, fingers wrapped around his lucky pebble. The fireplace crackles and pops, throwing its warmth around.
I feel hollow. Cold. My eyes stare into the flames, mesmerized by how they dance. Dancing with Tex flashes in my mind. My eyes sting and I grip the pebble tighter.
“Hey.” Noah’s voice is gentle, like he’s approaching a feral animal.
Hell, maybe I am.
I glance up to find him standing beside me, his hands tucked into his pockets, posture loose, but I can see the concern in his green eyes. “Mind if I sit?”
I shake my head.
We sit in silence for a moment, watching the room, like all of this is normal.
“You don’t have to stay long,” he says eventually. “No one’s keeping time.”
“I know,” I murmur. “It just doesn’t feel right to leave.”
He nods, pushing up his glasses.
Another pause stretches between us.
“You know, no one ever tells you this part,” Noah continues, his voice low. “After the funeral, everyone expects you to start…transitioning. Move on. Like grief has a schedule.”
I huff a soft, humorless breath. “Apparently, I missed the memo.”
His mouth tilts, not quite a smile. “Tex would’ve burned the memo.”
My throat tightens and I look back into the fire, willing the flames to dry my eyes.
Noah shifts, angling toward me. He’s careful not to crowd me, but creates a private space for us. “He talked about you,” he says. “More than you probably realize.”
I swallow, giving him a small smile. “Probably how annoying I am.”
He chuckles. “Sometimes, but they were affectionate complaints.”
A tear slips free before I can stop it, I scrub at it angrily. I’m so sick of crying.
Noah doesn’t comment. “He wouldn’t have wanted you to stay like this, frozen in time. Punishing yourself for still being here.”
I close my eyes, more tears escaping.
“He loved hard,” Noah continues. “He lived loud. He’d hate the idea of you collapsing your world because his ended.”
My chest aches. “Moving forward feels like leaving him behind.”
Noah shakes his head. “I don’t think so.”
His voice is so certain. I wish I could have that solid certainty.
“I think it means carrying him with you, like your dad said.” Noah continues. “Remembering him. Celebrating the life he did live. Don’t let him be the thing that cages you. He wouldn’t have wanted that.”
I turn to look at Noah.
Grief fills his eyes. Tex was his friend for much longer. They have deeper roots. But here he is, taking care of me.
“You bestow such knowledge, O’ wise one.” A choked laugh escapes me.
Noah grins. “He’d just want you to be happy. Whatever that looks like. Whenever that happens. We all want you to be happy.”
I nod, because I can’t trust my voice.
Noah reaches over, squeezing my knee. “Let me go rescue Luca real quick and I’ll be back.”
I follow his gaze to Luca surrounded by three men. Luca’s expression looks pained, his eyes keep darting around the room like he’s looking for an escape. I give Noah a small smile.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so uncomfortable.”
Noah shakes his head. “He doesn’t handle grief well. He processes things through his sarcasm, but making jokes at a funeral is generally frowned upon.”