29 Spiraling
Itighten the straps on my gloves, feeling the stiffness in my shoulders and arms. It's been almost two months since the basement and every muscle still aches. I've been doing my stretches and light workouts, but I need more.
Luca is already waiting, hands on his hips, his expression part amused, part serious.
“Ready?” he asks.
I nod, though the weight of my own body feels like a lie. “Yeah, let's start slow.”
“Good girl.” He smirks and shoots me a cheeky wink. “Short rounds. You tell me if it gets too much.”
The first drill is simple. Footwork, dodges, and blocks. I reminisce on the first training sessions I had over a year ago. I felt sturdy then.
Now I’m like a newborn foal, my legs wobble with every pivot. Luca moves beside me, correcting my stance with gentle touches. His fingers brush against mine as he adjusts my grip, and I feel warmth spreading in my belly.
“Careful,” he murmurs. “You're tipping your weight too far forward.”
I bite back a groan. “I know.”
“You're still weak,” he says bluntly, but I know there's no malice behind it. “Good thing you got a hunk like me around.” He flexes his muscles. I roll my eyes, smiling at his antics.
We move on to light sparring. Luca throws slow, controlled strikes toward me. I block and dodge, but quickly start to tire. My arms shake, my breath comes faster than I expect. A punch nearly gets past my guard, and he stops it with a firm hand on my forearm.
“Rest, breathe,” he orders softly.
I lean against him, my chest rising and falling, trying to slow my pulse. The heat of him against me is distracting, and my mind begins to wander. To the bath…
“Focus.” Luca snaps me back, “I know I'm dreamy, but don’t get too distracted.” He smiles.
Heat warms my cheeks, but lucky for me, I’m already sweating. I don’t think he notices.
We restart. It's like fighting in slow motion, but Luca is careful. Each time I falter, he adjusts my movements rather than scolding.
“You've got this,” he encourages, brushing my hair back from my face. I feel the surge of gratitude and tension all at once. His closeness is comforting but it also has my heart fluttering.
The last exercise is working on endurance. Short sprints across the gym, ducking and weaving under low bars. I feel like a newborn deer trying to walk. My muscles protest. I push through. Luca matches me stride for stride, occasionally catching me when I stumble.
When the last round ends, we collapse onto the mats. My arms are trembling, my legs feel like lead, but all I feel is pride. I made it, and I'm getting stronger every day.
“Not bad for a month-and-a-half out of hell,” Luca says, shaking his head in mock disbelief.
“I'm... getting there.”
“You're getting stronger for sure,” he confirms. “I'll be here to cheer you on and make sure you never doubt it.”
The words linger in the air between us. I lean back, letting him help me stretch my cramped legs. His hands linger on my shoulders, and I feel the pull of desire, confusion, and trust all at once.
“You know, if you keep looking that good while punching me, I might start enjoying these workouts too much,” he teases, a sly smirk tugging at his lips.
I roll my eyes, but a smile tugs at my mouth. “Get out of here.”
“I'm serious, you're going to have me developing a weird ass fetish where I pop a boner every time I get punched.”
We both burst out laughing, and I nudge him.
“You're absolutely ridiculous.”
“Ridiculous is my specialty,” he grins. “I enjoy seeing you like this.”
“Like a newborn animal trying to learn how to walk?”
“No,” he chuckles, shaking his head at me, “like you again. Your light is coming back.”
His words cause a flutter in my chest I can't ignore.
I'm standing over a spread of maps and intel on the table with Maeve beside me, Lucian leaning over at the head of the table.
The safe house is quiet except for the soft hum of the computer screens and the occasional tapping of fingers on keyboards. My stomach tightens. Today isn't just another day of training. Today, the others go into the field, and I stay behind.
“Your target will be one of Gideon's businesses.” Lucian points to a set of buildings on the map. “Heavy security, multiple entry points. Cameras, guards, patrols. This is going to be a tight operation. Other teams will hit other buildings and businesses simultaneously.”
I nod, memorizing every detail. “We can use the alley here as a blind spot, and the side loading dock has less reinforcement. They'll likely call for reinforcements once they realize our presence, so they'll need to move fast.”
Maeve leans in, eyes scanning the blueprints. “Comms will be open. We're on standby. Isobel, you'll direct them from here. No improvising beyond what we planned, okay?”
I swallow hard and nod again, gripping the edge of the table. My hands feel clammy. This isn't a simulation. They are going into real danger, and I can't do anything but watch.
The door opens and the boys step in. Jace, Luca, Noah, Felix, and Kellan, all in gear, ready for action. My chest tightens at the sight of them. Especially him.
Luca's eyes flick to me, a half-smile playing on his lips. “Ready to order us around, pretty girl?” His tone is teasing, but there's an undercurrent of worry that I know is meant for me.
I glare at him, feigning annoyance. “You better listen to every word I say, or there'll be hell to pay.”
Jace steps forward, voice low but firm. “We know the plan, Iz. Don't worry about us.”
I want to meet his gaze, to tell him that regardless of everything that has happened, I worry. My throat constricts, so I just nod. Keeping my back straight and my expression neutral.
Noah taps a tablet against his chest. “Comms secure, route loaded. We're ready to move.”
I glance at Lucian, then back at the team. “Remember your signals, keep the noise down, and watch each other's backs. Luca, take point. Jace, I want you to coordinate with him on all entry points. Don't argue over comms unless it's life or death. Understood?”
They all nod. Luca gives me a wink over his shoulder, which is enough to make my stomach twist. Jace notices and frowns, jaw tightening. The tension is so thick I feel it in my chest.
Lucian steps back, crossing his arms. “Time to move.”
The team leaves, and I stare at the empty doorway for a moment. Maeve places a hand on my shoulder. “You're doing the right thing. You stay here, you make sure they get the intel they need. You're still a part of the mission, just not out in the field.”
I nod, but my heart isn't listening. My thoughts keep drifting to Luca, to Jace, to what might happen out there.
Luca still doesn't fully trust Jace; they've barely talked.
I try to focus on the maps, the blueprints, the cameras.
I try to tell myself it's just the adrenaline, but my fingers curl around the edge of the table.
The comms crackle to life, and Luca's voice comes through, confident, teasing—the sound of him and the mission, all at once.
“Better be on point, boss lady. Don't make us miss all the fun.”
I exhale sharply. Fun isn't exactly the word I'd use. But for now, it'll have to do. I lean over the laptop, eyes scanning the live-feed from the street cams Noah hacked into.
It feels like we're waiting hours for them to get on site.
“Alpha team in position,” Luca's voice purrs through the headset. “I told you I'd get us here on time.”
I force a neutral tone, fingers tapping the keyboard. “Eyes up, heads on a swivel. Watch your corners. I'm not there to save your life again, Silvain.”
Luca laughs into the comms.
“Focus,” Jace snaps.
“Jace, coordinate the entry.” I return to a neutral tone.
“Copy. Flank is clear.”
I chew on my cheek. Their voices are calm, professional, but I can hear the underlying tension. Worry and frustration mix and expand in my chest. I shouldn't feel protective, but here I am.
“Left flank moving.” Noah chimes in, “Two guards by the loading dock, patrol in fifteen seconds.”
“Copy,” I respond, eyes glued to the feed. “Luca, watch the first corner. Jace, entry team in three.”
I hear movement, soft thuds, the quiet shuffle of boots, I squeeze the edge of the table, holding my breath.
“Dock secured,” Luca reports. “Ready for breach on your mark, Jace.”
“Hold,” Jace says. “Wait for camera sweep, Felix, Kellan, cover the rear. Noah, eyes on every approach.”
I track the live feeds, watching their shadows move across the buildings. Every step they take is another inch closer to danger.
Movement catches my eye, two unexpected guards on the south side.
“Jace, new targets. Two on the south side, heading north,” I warn.
“Copy.” His voice is sharp and tense. “Luca, flank left. Noah, continue to cover cams. Felix and Kellan, intercept.”
Luca's voice is low. “I'm supposed to be running point.”
“Watch it,” Jace snaps.
A pop echoes through the comms.
“Luca?” I whisper.
“Clear,” he replies and I exhale.
Jace chimes in, words clipped. “Move up. Eyes on the target. Stay alert. This isn't over yet.”
I watch as they move again through the shadows. I pick at my nails.
“How have you been sitting here when I was going out there?” I turn to Maeve.
She shrugs, “I don't have any training or experience to be out there. I worry about you but I know you're strong enough to hold your own.”
“Ouch.” I make a face at her.
“Hey, you asked.” She smiles at me.
I take a deep breath, taking her words in. They can do this. They've done missions without me. They'll have to do missions without me.
The feed goes black for a heartbeat, then flickers back to life with night vision. The interior of the warehouse is illuminated in green.
“Entry team in,” Jace whispers. “Luca, left side. Felix, Kellan, rear cover. Move.”
“South side clear.” My eyes scan over the screens.
“Copy,” Luca murmurs. “Don't worry, pretty girl, I got this.”
A small smile forms, and I roll my eyes. But I don't respond. His confidence helps, but it makes my heart race.
“I swear I heard that eye roll.” Felix chuckles quietly.
“Isobel, did you see your brain?” Kellan asks.
“Focus!” Jace snaps.