Chapter 10
TEN
Nick felt a buzz like he’d had a dozen black coffees as he drove Bax and the kids home. It was meant to be an ordinary outing to entertain the kids for a day. Instead, it had turned into an entirely different sort of “outing”.
He still couldn’t believe he’d told Kate that he and Bax were together. He could barely believe that the two of them were together.
They were, weren’t they?
Yes, they definitely were. The entire afternoon had felt like proof of it. They’d worked well together to make sure the kids had a good time, they’d had a bit of time to walk around with just each other, sort of, when the kids had fallen asleep, and they’d even held hands at one point.
Wow. He was dating a guy.
And his mum probably knew now, too. He’d told Kate, and Kate had probably turned around and told his mum and Joann.
Shit. He’d accidentally come out to his family.
Oh God. He was gay. Well, bi. But, yeah, he had a serious thing for a man.
“Are you alright?” Bax asked after they’d been silent in the car for about ten minutes.
“Yeah,” Nick lied.
He thought about it and peeked sideways at Bax as he made the last turn that would take them back to Hawthorne House.
Bax wasn’t fooled.
“Okay, I’m not alright,” he confessed. “But I’m not bad. I’m not freaking out. I’m not.”
Bax laughed and reached over to touch his arm. “You can freak out. A lot of things just happened.”
“I didn’t come out, did I?” he asked with a wince.
Bax grinned like Nick had told a joke. Nick loved his grin. He loved his smile and his easy manner. If he was willing to let go of his fears and his assumptions about himself, he would go further to say he liked Bax’s lips, liked his body, liked the way it felt when the two of them hugged. Just one more push, and it wouldn’t have to be a strong one either, and he might just be willing to explore those feelings further.
Like, naked farther.
“Coming out isn’t necessarily some huge declaration or a super intense moment where you sit across the table from your loved ones and say, ‘Mum, I’m bisexual’,” Bax said.
Nick blinked and gripped the steering wheel harder. “Are you bisexual?”
Bax laughed loud enough to fill the car with joy. And, unfortunately, to wake the kids.
“No,” he answered as he twisted to face the trial that was Macy and Jordan waking up from their naps and finding themselves in their car seats. “You’re the bi one, love. I’m completely gay. It’s only ever been men. Give me dick over pussy any day. Hello, you two!” he finished his declaration in a childish, sing-song voice.
Nick smiled despite his anxiety. It wasn’t particularly logical, but he was relieved that Bax was just gay. That meant he had less competition for Bax’s attention.
Of course, that was ridiculous, too. Bax could pay attention to whomever he liked. It wasn’t like he didn’t have at least two other small humans that demanded his full attention most of the time anyhow.
Speaking of which, their conversation, which had seemed incredibly important, was cut short as soon as Jordan and Macy were fully awake. They were close to home anyhow, and as soon as the babies were aware of their surroundings and their captive audience of two, they demanded everything from snacks to cuddles, once they got out of the car, and kept both Nick and Bax on their toes for the remainder of the afternoon.
“Are you sure you want to stick around for supper?” Nick asked as he puttered around in the kitchen, fixing kid-appropriate chicken nuggets and chips. Vegetables, too, because he’d be damned if he turned into one of those dads who didn’t make their kids eat their vegetables. “None of this is particularly fun.”
“Of course, it’s fun,” Bax said, stepping into the kitchen to take over some of the food prep as Nick stepped away to see what had started Macy screaming in the other room.
It wasn’t. Being a father was amazing and rewarding, and he loved his kids, but taking care of two tiny humans who needed intense amounts of focus wasn’t always fun.
Bax gave it his all, though, which Nick noted and appreciated. He wasn’t a natural with children, but he was learning. Part of that day had been all about Bax learning just how much work went into parenting. Nick could tell there had been a few moments when Bax’s patience had worn thin. When Jordan threw a fit about his chips being too small, for instance. And when Macy decided it would be more fun to play with the red sauce than to eat it.
“You really don’t have to stick around for this part if you don’t want to,” Nick insisted again after supper, while cleaning up the carnage of the simple meal. He and Bax had barely been able to shovel food into their own mouths with the kids in such high spirits.
“I want to stick around,” Bax said, grinning with particular heat at Nick as he wiped Macy’s face and hands. “I can’t wait to see what comes after this bit.”
Nick’s face heated. He was curious about what might happen next, too. Everything between him and Bax felt so ripe and full of promise. His libido was dying to know what sort of mischief he could get up to, despite the fact that he still didn’t know what he was doing in that department. He hadn’t had time to look it up online, and had been far too embarrassed to ask any of the knowledgeable Hawthornes.
“After this bit comes passing out on the couch with CBeebies playing in the background,” Nick laughed.
Bax smiled at him with that look that made Nick feel like he was standing on the precipice of a whole new world.
“I’m here for it,” he said confidently.
Nick hoped that confidence would last through playing on the carpet after supper, then through bathtime. Bax bowed out of bathtime, saying he didn’t know whether it was appropriate for him to be in the same room with the kids when they were undressed. That was a can of worms that he had no idea if he was ready for. Was it appropriate? Would it be if the two of them were in some sort of serious, committed relationship? How did people navigate that fine line between stranger and family anyhow?
By the time baths were finished and the kids were dried, their bums in fresh nappies, and tucked into bed, Nick was ready to crawl into bed himself. It had been a long, long day.
He dragged himself back to the main part of the flat, bracing himself for the clean-up he knew had to happen in the kitchen, but was surprised to find that Bax had cleaned everything up already.
“You’ve even loaded the dishwasher,” he said in utter amazement as he stepped into the kitchen.
Bax laughed and turned away from the sink, where he was rinsing the rag he’d used to wipe down the counters, and reached for a towel to dry his hands. “Just because I’m not a father doesn’t mean I don’t know how to clean up a kitchen.”
“You didn’t have to do that,” Nick said, still glancing around the space in amazement.
“It was my pleasure,” Bax said, putting the towel back then walking over to Nick. “So is this,” he added, then grasped the sides of Nick’s face and pulled in for a kiss.
Nick should have expected it, but the kiss surprised him as much as finding a clean kitchen had. Mostly, it surprised him with how much he enjoyed it. Bax was warm and smelled good, despite it being the end of the day. He kissed with so much confidence that Nick couldn’t help but surrender to it.
He expected the kissing to go on, wanted it, even, but Bax pulled back and smiled at him. “Let’s grab a beer and have a seat on the couch,” he said.
Nick’s temporary warmth and ease tightened into worry. That was the sort of thing someone said when they wanted to have a serious talk. He wasn’t sure he had the brain cells for any sort of serious talk.
But once they had their beers in hand and were settled close together on the couch, toys scattered on the floor around them, Bax just sat there, smiling at Nick like he was a relaxing television program that he had been looking forward to watching all day.
“Hello,” he said as Nick started to grow tense beside him.
“Hello yourself,” Nick answered. He was terrible at flirting, terrible at peopling. But something about Bax put him at ease, even though he thought he should be more nervous than anything around him.
“You look knackered,” Bax went on. He used his free hand to brush Nick’s cheek and the day’s growth of beard that now fuzzed the bottom half of his face.
“Kids do that to you,” he said. “I don’t know how you’re still on your feet, since you’re not used to the pace.”
“I’m not on my feet, I’m on your couch,” Bax said.
Nick laughed and took a sip of his beer, since he didn’t know what else to do.
Bax drank as well, and even though Nick felt the conversation should probably be going somewhere, it didn’t. It was just the two of them sitting on the couch, kids’ telly playing in the background, drinking beer and staring at each other with increasingly goofy grins.
Nick wished he was a brilliant conversationalist, like Raina had been. He wished she was there so he could ask her what he was supposed to do with all the new and hot feelings racing through him. Of course, if Raina was there, he wouldn’t be contemplating kissing Bax again.
God, he wanted to kiss Bax again. He wanted to do more than that. He wanted to tackle him and cover his body with his own. He wanted to learn what a man’s body felt like when things were hot and heavy. He wanted to play with another man’s cock and balls and discover whether he really liked it as much as he was beginning to believe he might.
“What are you thinking about?” Bax asked, twisting to put his half-finished bottle on the table that ran along the back of the couch.
Nick’s face blazed hot at the question before he could even contemplate the answer.
He surprised himself when he replied with, “Why did you turn Callum down when he invited you to his coven?”
Bax’s hazy, sexy look mellowed into something more serious. “It isn’t what I want right now,” he said.
Nick frowned slightly. “But it’s what you wanted a few weeks ago, when you first came to Hawthorne House. I thought you would still want something like that.”
“I want you.”
The words were so bold and raw that Nick couldn’t breathe for a second. For once, Bax wasn’t teasing or joking. The heat and the need were all there, in his eyes. He felt them reflected in himself.
“I want you, too,” he said quietly.
“Then take me,” Bax said, his voice dropping to a deep, sonorous tone.
Nick jerked like he would move forward, but the kinetic movement didn’t go anywhere. It just made him look anxious and twitchy.
“I don’t know how,” he admitted, his eyes glued to Bax’s.
Bax shrugged one shoulder and managed to look dead sexy while doing it. “Follow your instincts.”
“I don’t really have instincts here,” he admitted, his arousal racing fast toward embarrassment that would destroy the moment. He couldn’t continue to hold Bax’s gaze, especially when he confessed, “Raina is the only other person of any sex I’ve ever been with. I didn’t know what I was doing with her at first either.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Bax said with the most intriguing combination of compassion and arousal. He scooted closer, took Nick’s beer from his hand and put it on the table, then inched closer still. “It’s okay.”
Nick’s heart and head pulled hard in two directions. His heart trusted Bax and was certain it would be okay, but his head thought it was everything that was the opposite of okay.
Before either of them could get the upper hand, Bax slipped an arm around his waist and pulled him forward into another kiss. It was exactly what Nick wanted and what he needed to settle the raging insecurities inside him. He wanted this, wanted to kiss Bax and to learn what it was like to be with a man. He wanted connection and intimacy.
“How far do you want to take this?” Bax asked between kisses, his breath hot and wet against Nick’s lips.
“I just want you,” Nick answered. “I don’t know what I’m doing, but I want to learn.”
Bax smiled his way into another kiss. As he did, he swept a hand down Nick’s side, then across the front of his jeans to rub and palm his growing cock.
Nick gasped and broke out in shivers as pleasure shot through him. His cock filled fast, pressing uncomfortably against his zipper. At the same time, he loved the feeling. It was the answer to the question he’d been asking himself since his heart had started to fall for Bax.
“Can I take it out?” Bax asked, leaning back to look into Nick’s eyes.
Nick swallowed, then nodded. The only way to truly learn what he wanted was to cross every boundary he’d previously had.
Bax smiled, then dropped his gaze so he could watch what he was doing.
Nick watched as well as Bax worked open the button of his jeans then drew the zipper down. Whether he was going slowly to be seductive or to give Nick a chance to adjust, it had to be the most erotic thing he’d ever experienced.
The head of his cock was already poking through the opening of his boxers, but Bax didn’t take it out that way. He nudged Nick to lift his hips, then he pushed his jeans and boxers down enough to scoop in and draw everything out. His balls tightened and his cock bounced up as Bax palmed them while drinking in the sight.
Bax definitely looked at everything. His pupils shot wide and his face flushed as he studied Nick. Nick spent all of two seconds hoping Bax liked what he saw before his brain started to blank entirely as Bax stroked the underside of his cock from his balls to his tip. Pleasure flooded him as Bax closed his hand around his shaft and pulled his foreskin down to expose his already damp tip.
The pleasure was so powerful as Bax stroked slowly up and down, gazing intensely at him, that within seconds, Nick started to feel the tell-tale signs of orgasm. He wanted to thrust into Bax’s hand and watch his seed spill all over it, but he wanted a lot more things than just that.
“You’re a big boy,” Bax said, peeking up at Nick with a mischievous look.
It was a silly, borderline crass thing to say, but it did exactly what Nick needed in that moment. It made him laugh.
“I’m proportional,” he said, relieved that laughing pulled him back from coming the second Bax had a hand on him.
“Mind if I taste?” Bax asked.
A shudder of need pulsed through Nick. He couldn’t form the words, he could only nod.
For a split second, as Bax bent forward, bringing his mouth closer to his cockhead, Nick panicked. He didn’t know what he was doing. Would Bax expect him to suck his cock in return? The idea intrigued him, but he wasn’t sure he was ready.
A second later, as Bax’s warm, wet mouth kissed his tip, then as he bore down, taking his entire head into his mouth and brushing it with his tongue, none of that mattered. He couldn’t think, couldn’t feel fear or worry. He could only groan as heady pleasure raced through him.
Fantasies started spinning in Nick’s mind, blending with reality. He loved what Bax was doing and wanted more. He imagined himself fully naked gripping the sides of Bax’s head while he thrust into the heat of Bax’s mouth. That image morphed back into what was really happening in the moment as Bax slurped and sucked and took Nick deeper into his throat.
Bax moaned in appreciation as he took Nick in deep, and Nick cried plaintively in response, pushing his hips up off the couch as he did. He’d never been sucked off like this before. No wonder blowjobs were such a big deal to some people. They were quickly becoming a big deal to him.
When Bax pulled back suddenly, panting, Nick came close to whining.
“You’re close, aren’t you,” Bax said. It wasn’t a question. He knew.
“Yeah,” Nick panted, nodding tightly.
Bax grinned and rocked back all the way. He eyed Nick’s thick, spit-slick erection as it stood up against Nick’s belly then asked, “Do you want to keep this going in the bedroom? Preferably with both of us naked?”
“Yes,” Nick gusted in answer.
Bax’s grin widened, and he stood, trousers bulging, and offered his hand to Nick.
Nick took his hand and let Bax pull him to standing. His cock bobbed enthusiastically in front of him as he searched for the remote to turn off the telly, then as they headed down the short hall to the bedroom. He didn’t bother tucking himself away, because as soon as they were in the bedroom, they both stripped naked as fast as they could.
Nick’s brain was shot and he didn’t question himself for being hesitant ten minutes before, then suddenly rushing to get out of his clothes as fast as he could. He was usually tidy with his things, but he left his clothes on the floor where they dropped before racing to the bed. He couldn’t take his eyes off Bax as he stretched to take his shirt off, revealing a trim, strong torso with just a bit of hair, then as he bent to push off his trousers and underwear.
It was the first time Nick had ever seen another man naked and aroused with the intent to have sex with him. As an artist, he’d seen plenty of naked bodies, but this was absolutely, one hundred percent different. Bax was gorgeous. His thighs were strong and his legs were long. His balls were already drawn up, and as he stood once his trousers were gone, his cock bounced proudly in front of him, as ready as Nick’s was to get right to it.
“You’re beautiful,” Nick managed to gasp out, unable to tear his eyes away from Bax’s body.
“You’re amazing,” Bax said, smile broad. “Let’s fuck.”
Again, Nick was sure he’d said something outrageous to shock him out of his head. He was grateful for it and had just enough presence of mind to stride forward and take Bax into his arms. Their naked bodies pressed together. The crush of their cocks between the walls of their bodies felt so good that Nick doubted he was going to last long.
They kissed and groped each other. Nick forced himself not to think, just to feel and act. He still didn’t know what he was doing, but he knew what he wanted now. He wanted as much of Bax rubbing against as much of him as possible.
“Bed,” Bax managed between their fevered kisses.
Nick nodded and stepped to the side to throw a few pillows and stuffed animals onto the floor. He pulled back the sheets, and as soon as he was halfway horizontal, Bax threw himself into the bed with him.
Each time their bodies came together, Nick felt like he understood how things should be a little more. He wanted to touch and caress every part of Bax. His back felt particularly good, but not as good as his arse. As soon as Bax pushed him to his back and straddled his thighs, Nick couldn’t get enough of squeezing and fondling Bax’s arse as it spread over him.
“Still don’t know what I’m doing,” he panted between kisses as Bax braced himself on top and devoured his mouth.
“Don’t care,” Bax replied, panting. “I just want you.”
It was frantic and artless. Their hands were all over, grasping, feeling, and stroking. They kissed each other’s mouths like they could find the secrets of the universe there. Nick was certain he should be doing something more. Guys fucked each other’s arses, right? He could definitely get on board with finding Bax’s hole and pushing in.
There wasn’t going to be time for that, though. He knew as soon as Bax started jerking against him, rubbing their bodies together in a way that brought delicious friction to Nick’s cock. Nick didn’t stop to question whether he was doing it right or wrong. Whatever it was, it felt good. And when Bax reached a hand between them to hold their cocks together while he thrust, Nick lost it.
His orgasm rolled over him like a wave crashing. He cried out into Bax’s mouth as jet after jet of cum spilled from him, making Bax’s hand and their bellies messy. He would have been embarrassed about how fast his orgasm had hit and how he hadn’t even put his dick where it was supposed to go, but a minute after him, Bax sped up his thrusts then pulled his mouth away from Nick’s to cry out as he came hard over Nick’s already wet belly.
Right way or wrong way, they’d both climaxed. From there, Bax flopped to his side and pulled him over so he could wrap his entire body around Nick’s. Nick was exhausted and the post-orgasmic glow was going to make him fall asleep in seconds, he was sure, but they continued to kiss and pant and touch each other as much as possible.
“Alright?” Bax asked at one point in a breathless pant.
Nick could only nod and smile. He was more than alright. He’d enjoyed the fuck out of that, even though he felt like it had just been entry-level gay sex. It didn’t matter what their bodies had done, though. His heart felt light and his soul pulsed with warmth and affection. There would be so much more to come between them, but what really mattered in that moment was that he had Bax in his arms and in his bed, his most private space. He’d found something precious, and there was no way he was going to let it go.