Chapter 35
THE SECOND I WAKE UP in the morning, I hop out of bed and throw my tangled hair into a messy bun.
Then grab the shoe box out of the air duct and dig out our winning lottery ticket.
I tuck it into my backpack as I head downstairs to carefully slip out the front door while my mom is watering plants on the back deck.
I drive straight to the corner market just down the street.
You still at home? I text Ryan as I wait for the cashier to count out my seventeen dollars of winnings.
Just about to head out, he replies.
Can you leave your front door open? I’m on my way, I text back.
The cashier hands over the money and I head out the glass door, then slide into my car.
I try my best to keep my speed somewhere close to the limit, but it’s almost impossible at this point.
I finally throw my car into park when I arrive in Ryan’s driveway, then hurry in through the front door.
Nora jumps slightly at the kitchen island, where she’s eating a bowl of Rice Krispies.
“Sorry,” I say, dragging my hand along her shoulders as I step behind her and sit up on one of the barstools.
She turns to face me and I’m surprised to see that the bruise is all gone. “Your face. It’s…” When I look closer, I notice a layer of something covering it. It’s down on her jaw, too, where her mom was holding her.
“Ryan gave me some of his mom’s cover-up,” she says, her voice a little hoarse. “I know it still probably looks like shit and my eyes are all puffy—”
“Stop,” I tell her, planting a kiss on each one. “You look beautiful.”
“Liar,” she replies.
Both of us are quiet as I watch her eat spoonful after spoonful of cereal until all that’s left is almond milk.
“I thought maybe she’d call, but…” Nora shrugs and shakes her head.
“Would you really go back there even if she had?” I ask, surprised but trying not to sound insensitive.
“I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now,” she replies.
“About that… I’ve got something for you,” I reply, reaching into my pocket and then holding out the small wad of cash.
“What’s that for?” she asks, furrowing her brow at me.
“Just take it. It’s for both of us.”
“Gee, thanks,” she says sarcastically as she slips it out of my fingers.
I lean forward as I watch her unfold it and fan out the bills, a ten, a five, and two ones. “I’ll try not to spend it all in one—” She stops, her eyes widening as she shuffles through the bills again… and again…
Finally, she looks up at me, and an uncontrollable grin covers my entire face as I watch her realize what I’m telling her.
“No. W-we can’t. You don’t even remember—” Her voice trails off.
“Look. I know I can’t remember our relationship.
I don’t remember meeting you or going on our first date or our first kiss or our thousandth.
I don’t remember anything from that time and I might not ever, but…
Somehow, when I’m with you some deep-down part of me remembers and tells me that you’re right, that we are everything.
It’s hard to explain. I don’t know how this is possible, but I don’t think I ever really stopped loving you, Nora.
” I twist her barstool toward me, taking her face in my hands.
She rubs her cheek against my palm, and I can almost feel her holding her breath.
“I want to be with you now. For real. Out in the world, not hiding away in the woods, not hiding away anywhere or from anyone. I want to drink coffee with you before I go to my classes at UCLA. I want to stay up too late watching whatever the hell Dickinson is. I want to make friends with people who are the same as us, and different, too. I want to do it all with you.”
I already see her eyes well up but I keep going.
“And who knows, maybe it won’t work out.
Maybe I’ll hate your gross vegan cooking and you’ll hate that I never throw my dirty clothes into the hamper, but…
we deserve a shot, Nora,” I tell her as both of us are smiling and crying and maybe thinking about all the things that could one day become mundane.
She finally releases whatever she’s been holding in and it comes out as some combination of a laugh/cry/snort.
“We’re going to need a lot more than this,” she says, tossing the money down beside us.
“You’re in?” I ask, throwing my arms around her and pulling her in as close as I can.
“I’ve always been in,” she whispers.
The next day we sit on the floor of Ryan’s guest bedroom with a notebook and pen, ready to get this plan in motion. I have no idea where to start, but we had all this figured out once, so hopefully Nora can steer the ship.
“Ryan’s parents will be back on August twenty-fourth so I have to be out by then.
But if we leave the next day, I could spend the last night in Wyatt at Griffin’s Motel, then we could ride to the airport with Ryan that morning,” Nora suggests, writing the date down in front of us.
I stare at it, doing the math in my head, and then let out a sigh.
“That’s in nine days,” I reply. We have nine days to pick up everything and move across the country, just the two of us. Only nine days left to live the only life I’ve ever known.
“Is it too crazy?” she asks. But I look at Nora and remember that I’m leaving it behind for a better one. As scary as it might be, it’s even more exhilarating. And finally my future feels right.
“No. No, let’s make it happen. So, the first thing I guess is figuring out our budget?” I open up the banking app on my phone and flip it around to show Nora: $2,237.15. “Do you think this’ll be enough to get us out there?” I ask, already cringing.
“Uh… no.” She laughs and then gets up to retrieve the box from beside her duffel bag. “But this should be.” She hands it to me and when I open it up, my jaw drops open. I have never seen this much cash in my life.
“Oh my God, Nora, did you rob a bank?” I ask, fanning through a pile of twenties, fifties, and hundreds.
“I’ve been saving for a rainy day.”
“This is all from the farm?” I ask, my gaping mouth turning up into a smile. “Jeez, you must’ve worked a lot. How much money is this?”
She reaches into the box and pulls out a tiny notepad, reading off the last line. “Fifteen thousand, four hundred and twenty dollars.”
“Oh SHIT. We’re moving to Beverly Hills!” I shout, and Nora laughs.
“Slow down, Mike Tyson. See, this is exactly why I will be in charge of our finances.” She puts the lid back over the money and slides it away from me.
“Says the girl with a giant pile of money in a box?” I ask.
“Key words being giant and pile.” She begins scribbling words down in the notebook as she goes on.
“And we’ll be lucky to get back into a studio apartment in the building we found in Palms. Then we have to pay first month’s rent and security deposit, get our bus passes, at least get, like…
a mattress to sleep on. Then there are pots, pans, linens, utilities, food. ”
“Okay, yeah. We have a lot to do. I sent a few emails to different people in admissions this morning to explain why I haven’t been in contact and hopefully get signed up for some classes.”
“We’ve gotta buy all your textbooks, too,” she adds. “And get your financial aid sorted.”
I excitedly reach across to grab her hand before we get overwhelmed. “Nora. I’m going to be a freaking Bruin! Me!”
“I know.” She smiles. “I can’t wait for you to show me around campus. When does semester start again?”
“September eighteenth, but I think it’ll be good to get there with plenty of time to get settled, you know? Maybe I can even find a campus job or something before then.”
“That’s true.”
“Do you think we’ll be able to find an apartment on such short notice if we can’t get into that building?” I ask.
“I don’t know, but I’m going to spend the rest of the day calling around until I get it figured out.
” She pulls Safari up on her phone and starts typing.
“I’m going to give you some of this cash to deposit into your account, so you can wire the money for rent when I do find one, and buy our plane tickets and stuff. ”
“Oh, so you do trust me with the money?” I ask, smirking.
“Just don’t spend it all on a cow. Okay?” she jokes, and I roll my eyes at her.
She sets her phone and pen down for a second, and the two of us look at each other. All of this feels sort of like a dream. Like I’m going to wake up and laugh that I thought I would actually move across the country with Nora.
“Are you good?” she asks.
“I think so.” I nod, taking a deep breath in.
“Hey, Stevie?” Nora says, moving the notebook aside so she can scoot her knees up against mine. She holds my eyes and takes both of my nervous hands securely in hers. “We’re going to be okay.”
And I think she’s saying it for herself as much as she’s saying it for me.