Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
AMbrOS
I pull up outside Citi’s place and climb off my bike, finding Capone outside waiting for me.
“Thanks, man. I wasn’t sure if I should have called Tink or if having another woman here still wouldn’t make her feel safe.”
“She wouldn’t feel unsafe with her sister, but she wouldn’t feel relaxed either. At a guess, she’d have a plan in her head about throwing Star to Nevaeh so they could run, and Citi would provide the distraction.”
“You mean she’d be the sacrifice.”
“If it meant protecting her sister and daughter? What do you think?”
“That’s just it, I don’t know her well enough to know how she thinks. I’m pissed at Tink and Havoc for not planning this out better. I get they want to help, but this could have gone really fucking badly. The absolute last thing I want to do is scare her.”
“And Tink knows that.”
“She might, but Citi doesn’t.”
“Fuck,” I curse. He’s right. “Thanks for calling me. I should have been here. I should have thought—”
“Dude, chill the fuck out. Even Tink and the pres didn’t think of it, and they’ve not been running themselves ragged the last couple of weeks.”
I grunt, not disagreeing with him but also not wanting to use excuses. I should have tried harder to make everything work.
“Where the fuck is Pig anyway? He was supposed to be on Citi duty today.”
“No clue. She arrived with Star alone.”
“Come on.” I jog up to the door, stopping when I realize Capone isn’t following.
“I ordered some pizzas. Should be here in a second. Go on in without me.”
I turn back to the door and knock. It takes a minute or two before the door opens a crack, the chain preventing it from opening more.
“Ambros?”
“Hey, angel.”
She looks at me warily, not that I can blame her. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you and hopefully, help make you feel a little more comfortable around Capone.”
“So Capone called you.”
“Yes,” I answer slowly, feeling like I just walked into a trap.
“So you’re only here because of him?”
“No—”
“Would you have come if he hadn’t called?”
“Yes. Maybe not tonight, but I was planning on coming tomorrow. I was just waiting for cover.”
“Cover?”
“I had someone quit at the gym and had to fire someone else. It’s left me short-staffed.”
“Wait, really?”
I lean against the doorframe and nod. “The guy whom I fired was juicing, which would have been a fireable offense on its own if I’d noticed, but I’ve been a little distracted lately.
” She flushes and dips her head. “Not just because of you, Citi, but also losing Ella, too. I’ll be the first to admit, my head hasn’t been in the game.
“What brought it to a head, though, was him sparring with one of the other guys and breaking his leg even though the guy had tapped out.”
“Oh my god.” She tugs the chain back and pulls the door open. “Is the guy with the broken leg okay?”
“He will be, but he’s also the guy who quit. Turns out a lot of people were standing around cheering when it went down, ignoring him when he was shouting for help.”
Oh, she looks seriously ticked now. “They ignored him?”
“Some of them said they thought it was all just part of the fight until it was too late. The others are used to that kind of fighting in other gyms, and as bikers run this one, they thought nothing of it.”
“Thought nothing of it? A man was hurt, and they thought nothing of it?”
“Needless to say, they’ve all been given warnings and they won’t get another. They fuck up again, and they’re out. They’re also being monitored and retrained, which means I had to pull in a bunch of favors from old friends, the prospects, and even some of the brothers.”
“So you really have just been busy?” She moves aside and indicates for me to come in.
“I have, but I could have called and let you know. For that, I’m sorry.”
She bites her lip and nods, her eyes moving to Capone, who is idling at the curb.
“He’s waiting on pizza.”
“Oh. I was going to cook.”
“Well, now you don’t have to.” I wait for her to close the door before I push her against it, my front to her back. I dip my head and let my lips skim over her ear.
“I missed you, angel.”
She shudders under my touch, but she doesn’t lock up with fear. She turns to face me, so I’m leaning over her, my arms caged above her head.
“I thought you ran. I thought I disgusted you with what I said.”
I press my forehead against hers. “Never. I won’t lie and say it didn’t fuck with my head—because it did, but not in the way you’re thinking.
I still can’t put into words what I feel, but I’m not disgusted by you.
I’m horrified that was your and Star’s only means of escape.
I can’t even imagine what that must have been like. ”
“Just don’t tell everyone, okay? How you feel won’t necessarily be the same way others feel. And I don’t want to face judgment from a bunch of people who have never walked in my shoes.”
“I won’t say anything. It’s not my story to tell. But I don’t honestly think people would judge you negatively.”
“Perhaps not the people who know me and can see how much I love my daughter, but others? You’d be surprised what people think.
Some people would straight up vilify me because murder is murder.
And in some respects, I get that. But it’s the mentality of those who would think I should have endured, should have let my child endure, even knowing her tiny body is in no way developed enough to survive that level of…
attention. They’d curse me out for taking her life because while she’s alive, there is still hope, right?
But hope for what, Ambros? I spent fifteen years hoping and praying for a hero and then for the reaper.
I buried babies while I was still bleeding from delivering them.
Is that what I could hope for Star’s future too? ”
She sighs, her heartbreak in her eyes. “There were no heroes in that house to save me, no god to answer my screams. All I had was a monster with a fetish and a countdown of the days I had left. You want to know, honestly, what my biggest regret is? It’s that I didn’t lose hope sooner.
If I’d killed myself way back in the beginning, I wouldn’t have pieces of my soul out there buried under a blanket of wildflowers.
I wouldn’t have a daughter who is too traumatized to speak, or sleep in her own bed, and that’s just from witnessing what happened to me.
To the rest of the world, Jasper is dead.
But to me and Star, particularly when we close our eyes, he is very much still with us. ”
“Tell me what I can do to help.”
“You are helping. Just having you around helps, even if I have no idea what’s happening with us right now.
You make me feel safe. That doesn’t mean I only want you for that reason…
you get that right? That’s why I took Star home to my father’s while I was trying to find my feet.
I had to help myself before I could let others step in, or I knew I’d use them as a crutch—use you as one.
I had to know what I felt was real and not some kind of hero worship, and I didn’t trust myself to know the difference. ”
“And now?”
“I can live my life without you. I survived before you walking into my life, and I’ll survive if you walk away.”
I slide my fingers across the apple of her cheek. “Which means?”
“It means I want you here, because you’re funny, sweet, kind, and you make me feel things I’m not yet ready to put a label on. The keyword is want. I want you here. But I don’t need you to be.”
I press my lips to hers, kissing her softly, coaxing her to kiss me back. She melts into me, her hands gripping the front of my cut as I nip her lip with my teeth and soothe the sting with a swipe of my tongue.
Thumping at the door has us pulling apart. I curse as Citi gives me a shaky smile and steps aside so I can open it. Capone is standing there with a few boxes of pizza in his hands.
“Any time today, Ambros. It’s not like these are hot or anything.”
I move aside with a sigh and watch as Citi leads him into the kitchen and takes the boxes to the counter.
“You didn’t have to get pizza for us, Capone.”
“You gotta eat, right? Star’s gotta eat, especially if she’s gonna keep kicking ass. Plus, I’m a growing boy.”
She chuckles, keeping a little distance between them as she grabs plates and napkins. “I could have cooked something.”
“Rain check? I’d say you don’t need to cook me anything, but do I look like an idiot?”
“Yes,” I answer, earning myself the middle finger.
“Nobody turns down a home-cooked meal.”
“You might have wished you had. I’m not sure how good a cook I am.”
“Well, I’m sure of how bad of one I am, so the bar is really fucking low,” Capone admits, making Citi chuckle again.
Banging at the door has me frowning. Citi heads to open it as Capone looks at me in question.
“What the fuck, Citi? You trying to get me in trouble?” I growl at the sound of Pig’s voice and storm to the door.
“No, of course not, but if you were watching us like you were supposed to—”
“Oh come on!” he interrupts. “I was checking my messages. Havoc is running me and Con ragged and you want to play games?” He snaps his mouth closed when he sees me.
“If you like breathing, I’d fuck off right now, Pig,” I warn.
“Ambros—” he starts. I pull Citi back and hand her off to Capone, who has followed me out. I step into the doorway and shove Pig down the steps, smirking when he lands on his ass.
“I see you anywhere near Citi or Star again, and I don’t give a fuck what Havoc says, I will end you.” I slam the door closed before I rip out his spine, and head back to the kitchen. Capone is leaning against the counter, while Citi is sitting and looking at me. “He won’t be watching you anymore.”
“Okay,” she answers softly.
“That fucking prospect,” Capone grumbles.
Footsteps sound behind me. I turn just in time to see Star spot me.
She grins as I bend down and open my arms. She has her unicorn in her arms, but that doesn’t stop her from running into mine.
I pick her up and carry her to the table and sit her on one of the chairs.
“You hungry, princess? Capone brought pizza.”
Her eyes widen before she nods reverently at the pizza boxes.
I look at Citi, who looks flushed. “We’ve never had a delivery pizza before—only pizza I’ve made,” she admits.
Silence lapses over the room before Capone takes the plates from her and carries them to the table, placing one at each sitting space.
“Well, prepare to be amazed. Pizza is my favorite. Though I can’t lie—I’ll eat almost anything—Mikey’s pizza is some of the best I’ve ever had.”
I take a seat next to Star and watch as Capone shoos Citi away to do the same, then carries over the first box and opens it with a flourish.
“First up, we have double cheese.” He holds the box close to Star, who looks to her mom before taking a slice.
Citi follows suit before I take one, and Capone slides one onto his plate.
He then does the same with the next pizza, which is pepperoni, and the last one, which is sausage and peppers.
We all dig in, me and Capone watching Citi and Star for their reactions.
We are not disappointed. Star takes a bite and looks down at it like she’s just been given a puppy.
“Good, right?” I ask her. She looks up at me with wide eyes before taking another big bite and nodding vigorously.
Capone laughs before looking at Citi. “Well, what’s the verdict?”
“Meh, it’s okay.”
Capone freezes, the slice of pizza halfway to his mouth as he stares at her. “I don’t think we can be friends,” he whispers, making Citi throw her head back and laugh.
I lean back and watch her, wondering if I’ve ever seen a more beautiful woman in my life. I know that sounds ridiculous because there is, in fact, another woman who looks exactly like her, but there is something about Citi that steals my breath and fucks with my head in all the best possible ways.
“I take it back. Pizza is the best thing I’ve ever tasted.”
Capone’s eyes twinkle. He opens his mouth to say something, but I kick him under the table.
“No.”
He sighs but shuts up.
Once we’re all done, I offer to clean up with Star as my glamorous assistant so Capone and Citi can begin studying. When the table is clear, they set up their seats, with Capone sitting opposite Citi to avoid crowding her.
I keep my eye on her, but apart from looking like she’s been thrown in at the deep end, she doesn’t look afraid.
Once the kitchen is clean, I ask Star if she wants to watch a movie with me.
After we get the okay from Citi, I sit on the sofa and pull up Disney, asking Star what she wants to watch.
When she bites her lip, looking a little overwhelmed, I tug the throw from the back of the sofa and tuck it around her.
“How about we watch one of my favorites for now?”
She nods, so I pull up Wall-E, feeling a pang of nostalgia.
This was always one of my sister’s favorites too.
I lean back and hit play, and we settle in.
The movie plays for about ten minutes when she crawls across the sofa to me and snuggles under my arm.
I swallow, tugging her closer, before wrapping the blanket over us.
Seems Star has inherited her mother’s superpower of turning me into mush.
Comfortable and content for the first time in weeks, I drift off, coming to with a start when I feel Star move.
“Capone is gone. I’m just going to put Star to bed,” Citi whispers as she picks her up and carries her upstairs. I sit up and stretch, trying to remember the last time I slept so well.
I flick the television remote until I find a talk show, for background noise, and wait for Citi. I turn when I hear her approach. I nearly swallow my tongue when I find her standing behind me, biting her lip, wearing nothing but my hoodie.