Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
CITI
I stare at the door in trepidation. There is nothing fancy about it.
There isn’t even a nameplate on it, just gold numbers that match the office I was told to come to.
The building itself is one of the oldest in town, I believe—at least of the ones that hadn’t been allowed to fall into disrepair.
It’s also huge. It’s rumored that it started as a dwelling for a relative of Theodore Roosevelt and later became a hub for local businesses to work out of without having an entire office building of their own.
The ground floor is a large marketplace that sells everything from crafts and food to antiques and tarot readings.
The first floor, based on my brief research, houses a law office, a family planning clinic, and a dentist—or at least it did the last time the website was updated.
From what I could tell, that was done with far less frequency than the businesses themselves were updated.
I think the idea was a jump point, or a stopgap, so people starting out could get clients and financial backing before they rented a larger space independently.
I assume some used it as a test model to see if their business would work in a small rural setting.
Right now, none of that really mattered. I’d come for my first appointment with Dr. Brown, and I was far more nervous than I’d anticipated. I take a deep, steadying breath and knock on the door, waiting for someone to open it on the other side.
Instead, a deep voice calls for me to come in. I turn the handle and push the door open.
“Hi, you must be Citi. I’m Dr. Brown, but you can call me Michael. Nice to meet you,” Michael says with his hand out as he wheels himself around the desk to greet me.
I hold out my hand without thought and shake it, the surprise of seeing him in a wheelchair making me forget to worry about the contact with a stranger.
I pull my hand away and flush when I realize I’m staring.
I’d be lying if I said his being in a wheelchair didn’t bring me a little bit of comfort, as shitty as that sounds.
My survival instincts acknowledge that my odds of getting out of this office if he tried to attack me would be far greater now than they were before, especially considering the man seems quite muscular everywhere else.
He’s also very handsome. I’m not sure why I expected an older, more professor-looking type.
But then, given that my only point of reference for most things is TV shows and movies, I’ve probably defaulted to stereotypes, something I need to work on.
“Right, I’m sorry. Yes, I’m Citi.”
“It’s the chair. It throws most people.”
“No, I’m the one who should be sorry.” I wring my hands together. “I didn’t mean to stare.”
He offers me a small smile. “I’m not offended, Citi.
Please take a seat. Do you wish for the door to remain open for this session?
I want you to feel comfortable, though I will admit I cannot guarantee you complete privacy if you do.
There are too many people coming and going to the other occupants of this floor for that. ”
“Closed is fine. I’ll do it,” I offer, closing the door before walking to the comfortable-looking chair on the other side of the room.
“Thank you. Would you like a drink or anything before we start?”
“No, I’m good.” I take a seat and pull my bag onto my lap as I wait for him to wheel himself closer.
“Now, I hope you don’t mind, Citi, but I did a little research on you before you came.
I recognized your name from the news footage, of course.
I want to put that out there right away because it’s important that I know what I’m dealing with.
I’m telling you this, not because I want you to think I’m nosy, but because it gives me a better understanding of your case without having to push you too hard, too fast.”
“Okay,” I reply. I’d already assumed his assistant would have filled him in anyway. They definitely recognized my name when I made the appointment.
“Is there anywhere you’d like to begin?”
I shrug. “Aren’t you supposed to tell me what you want to hear?”
“Sometimes? Sure. Sometimes it’s better to let the client lead.”
“Most people I’ve spoken to want to start right back at my first memories. I have no idea why. My life was fine, normal, until I was abducted.”
“How old were you when you were taken?”
“Ten.”
“That must have been terrifying.”
“I don’t remember much from that day. Some parts of it are vivid, but others are just black holes. I do remember the fear. I’ve been afraid for the last fifteen years, Dr. Brown, and I’m so tired of it.”
“Michael, please. I understand, though I have to warn you. While we dig into all this, it will likely get worse before it gets better. Do you have a support system at home? Someone you live with, perhaps, like a partner or family member?”
I shake my head. “I moved out of my father’s house a while ago. It was becoming too easy to rely on him to keep me safe, when what I really want is to learn how to keep myself safe.”
“So you live alone?”
“I have my daughter, but yes, I live alone. It was time.”
“I’m not judging you, Miss Dillion. In fact, I commend your bravery. Living alone as a woman can be scary enough at the best of times without having your history to contend with.”
“Yeah, tell me about it. It’s the whole reason why I’m here.”
“I’m more thinking along the lines of if you have someone to touch base with, support you after a trying session here. You don’t have to tell them what we spoke about—”
“No, I understand what you mean. I have family around me, and friends. I can call any of them, and they’ll come to me if I ask them to.”
“Family, as in your sister? I read she is your twin, correct?”
“Nevaeh, yes. She’s my twin.”
“It must be wonderful to have her back in your life after all this time. For both of you.”
“Yes, of course.”
“Tell me about her.”
Okay, this is easy. “Neveah is older than me by eight minutes. She was always the curious one, the one to test my parents’ patience.
She was forever getting us both into trouble,” I tell him with a grin on my face before I look up at him and clear my throat.
“She lives in Raven’s Fall now. We both do.
I mean, I came back here to be closer to her.
” And a certain someone else, but I keep that to myself for now,
“And what does your sister do?”
“You didn’t find that out in your research?”
“I was only looking for information that was directly linked to your name. A twin sister was mentioned—her name was Neveah—but I didn’t dig deeper into her. Should I have?”
I shake my head, letting my hair drift around my face.
“No, sorry, it’s become a bit of a habit.
People sometimes try to be friendly to either get the gruesome details of my story or to try to get closer to my sister.
She’s an author, you see—a popular one, too.
She writes under a pen name, so that’s probably why you didn’t make the connection. ”
“Ah, yes, most likely. How is your relationship with Neveah now that you’re back in her life?”
“It’s good. Strong. She loves me, and I love her. No amount of time or distance could change that. She’s my literal other half.”
He taps his chin with his finger in thought. “There is no resentment?”
I frown. “No, why would I resent her?”
“Because you were taken and she wasn’t. She got to go on and have a normal—no scratch that—a successful life, and you were trapped in a living hell the whole time.”
I swallow hard and look away, not liking how he seems able to look right through me. “She was supposed to be outside with me, but she got in trouble. Got herself sent to her room. I can’t even remember what she did now, but it meant I was out there alone.”
“Which made you an easier target.”
“Maybe. But I’m not mad at her for that.
If she had been outside, he’d have taken us both.
He commented enough over the years about wanting the full set.
Sometimes he even punished me because he couldn’t have her.
There were times I was mad that she was so well protected he couldn’t get to her because it made me think Mom and Dad must have loved her more to keep her safer.
But as I got older, I figured out their actions were a reaction to my abduction.
Even on the days when I prayed to switch places with someone, it was never Neveah.
I wouldn’t have wished her to take my place instead. ”
“That’s very… noble of you.”
I snort. “There is nothing noble about it. I love my sister, and I don’t ever want her to experience what I did. Part of me feels like my being taken saved her somehow. That he backed off from her so he wouldn’t risk losing me made me feel a little more like the hero than the victim.”
“And that was important to you? To feel like a hero?”
“Not so much that. It’s hard to explain. If I were just the victim, then I was weak. I was prey. But if I were protecting my sister, I was the sentry, the guard who kept her safe. And that gave me the strength not to give up, at least until my daughter came along.”
He nods and steeples his fingers. “So Neveah is an author. Is she based here full-time or does she travel?”
“She has traveled, but Raven’s Fall is her permanent home. She lives with her partner, Havoc, who is the president of a motorcycle club.”
My lips twitch as his eyes open comically wide.
“I’m sure I read your father was, or is, a pastor. That’s a change of pace.”
I grin. “Yep. And it went down every bit as well as you think it might have, but they’re slowly mending fences.”
“This motorcycle club. Have you been there? From what I know, they are very male-dominated. Is that something you struggle with?”
I sigh, picking at the hem of my jeans. “It’s not always easy.
The guys are great, though. They go out of their way to make me feel safe.
But my fear isn’t of them per se, and they get that.
What’s that saying I keep seeing all over social media?
” I click my fingers, trying to remember before it comes to me.
“It’s not all men, but it’s always a man, or something like that.
If we could tell who the dangerous ones were just by looking at them, things would be a lot easier, that’s for sure. ”
“And I would probably have many fewer clients.” He nods his head. It’s a sad truth, but one we both know to be reality.
We talk for another forty minutes before he wraps up the session. “Alright, I think we can pick this up on your next session. Do you have anything you want to ask me before you go?”
“I can’t really think of anything. I’m sure I’ll think of a bunch of questions later, though.”
“Well, you can make a note of them and bring them with you on your next session. If you have any major issues, though, you can always call, and I’ll try to talk you through them. Does this same time slot work for you next week, too?”
I nod. Keeping the same day and time makes it harder to forget.
“Okay, great. It was a pleasure to meet you, Citi. I really think after a few sessions, things will start looking very differently for you.”
I get to my feet and offer him a timid smile. “Thanks again for seeing me.”
“My pleasure.” He grins, and if I weren’t such a fucking mess, I’d likely be flustered. The man is seriously good-looking, but nobody affects me the way Ambros does.
I let myself out and head down the stairs to the ground floor.
I make my way outside and take a deep breath as soon as the cool air hits me.
I won’t lie and say the whole thing wasn’t draining, but I feel a little lighter for getting some of it off my chest and talking it through.
There is something so much easier about handing my burdens off to a stranger rather than weighing down someone I care about.
I walk around the corner to the little cafe I saw when I arrived and head inside. I order a hot tea with a bit of honey to soothe my throat from all the talking before I pull out my phone and text Ambros.
All done. I’m just having a drink in the cafe around the corner.
My cell phone rings a few moments later, Ambros’s name flashing on the screen.
“Hey.”
“Hey, I’m already on my way, so it was easier for me to call. You doing okay?”
“Yeah. It was tiring, but good.”
“I’m glad. You going to see him again?”
“Yeah. Same time next week.”
“I won’t be able to be there for you when you come out again, but I can have a prospect there ready if you’d rather not wait.”
When I was making my appointment, I wasn’t thinking about the times he could get away from the gym. I wasn’t used to thinking about anyone other than Star.
“No, I don’t mind waiting here for you, and I’d rather it be you. I’m okay today, but he did warn me that some of the sessions would be harder on me than others.”
He’s quiet for a minute before he sighs. “Maybe I could see Havoc about getting my hours changed a little.”
“Ambros, it’s fine. It might actually help to have a little time here alone to decompress for a minute.”
“Alright, but if that changes, you let me know, and we’ll figure something out.”
“Aye-aye, captain.”
He grumbles something about spanking, which has my cheeks burning. I pretend I didn’t catch it as I launch into a mundane conversation about the weather.
“Citi?”
“Yeah?”
“You sure you’re okay?”
“Of course, why’d you ask?”
“Because you’ve been talking about the weather for the last ten minutes.”
I snort before it turns into full-blown laughter.
“Not sure what I said that was so amusing, but I’ll take it if I get to hear that every day.”
“You’re sweet.”
“Only for you.”
I grin, looking around the cafe, which is mostly deserted. “Did you want me to order you a drink? Wait, are you on the bike or in the truck?”
“Bike. Nevaeh and Havoc are babysitting Star at your place, so I thought I’d pick you up, take a ride around town, and grab a bite to eat before heading back. Sound good?”
“Sounds perfect.”