Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
CITI
I wake up and stretch before cracking my eyes open. It isn’t until I glance at the clock that I dive out of bed in a panic.
I throw on a pair of leggings and a hoodie before hurrying to the bathroom to brush my teeth and throw my hair up into a messy bun.
I jog to Star’s room but find it empty. I don’t let the fear crush me.
Given the time, she’s probably downstairs with Ambros.
But when I get down there, I don’t see her, but I see Ambros asleep on the sofa.
I bend down and nudge him awake. “Ambros?”
His eyes flick up before he focuses on me. “What’s wrong?” He jumps up, almost headbutting me in the process.
“I can’t find Star.”
“I took her to school. I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out. I just thought you might like to sleep in.”
I swallow, my panic fading, leaving me feeling lightheaded in the process.
“Fuck.” He yanks me into his lap and holds me tightly as my heart threatens to beat out of my chest.
“I’m okay. I’m overreacting.”
He pulls back and shakes his head. “No, you’re not. I didn’t think about you waking up to find Star gone again and what that might do to you. I just wanted to do something nice. It won’t happen again.”
“Hey—I don’t want you to stop being you because you’re worried about how I’ll react. That’s on me.”
“Fuck that. You’re mine, Citi. That means any issues you have are my issues too. I’ll do better, I promise. I’m not saying I won’t fuck up again, but I promise I’ll learn from my mistakes.”
I slide my hand around the back of his neck and tug him to me, pressing my lips to his. “I’m so glad it was you.”
He growls and kisses me harder, his hands gripping me tight enough to leave bruises.
He doesn’t ask me to explain what I mean.
He knows. I’m glad it was him who carried me out, him who refused to let me slip away, him who opened his arms to me when I returned as if I’d never left.
He’s cautious of my scars, but he never acts like they define me.
If anything, he seems to be in awe of them, which is a little weird sometimes.
I have no idea what he sees when he looks at me, but I don’t think it’s the same thing I do when I look in the mirror.
I worried about that a lot to begin with, but then I realized Star looks at me differently, too.
Everyone has a version of me they see, and maybe they are all different, but they’re all the same too.
Pieces of me are loved by many. I might not have figured out how to love myself as a whole, but they remind me every day that broken can still be beautiful.
“I’m going to feed you, then fuck you until you’re fit to burst, and then I’m going to drop you off at the movies.”
I look at him, amused. “The movies?”
“Ran into Amity after dropping Star off, literally. I swear that woman doesn’t have an off button. Anyway, she mentioned her shoot got called off today due to the director being sick, so she wanted to see if you were free today.”
“But I’m supposed to be working with you this afternoon.”
“Perks of dating the boss. He can give you days off whenever he wants to.”
“But…are you sure? You’ve been so busy lately.”
“We have a couple of people coming in today to interview for part-time hours.”
Disappointment hits me. “You don’t need me anymore?”
He frowns, confused. “Of course, I need you. Oh, you mean working at the gym? No, I’m not replacing you.
I’m just reducing the strain—not just on you, but on everyone.
There are things I want to do that I haven’t been able to do due to staffing issues.
This has been a long time coming. If anything, I’ll need to take on another two or three people at least, even if the two interviewing today work out. ”
“What is it you want to do that you couldn’t before?”
He shifts me off his lap so he can get up before he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder.
“Ambros!” I squeal when he slaps my ass, but he just chuckles and carries me into the kitchen before sitting me on the counter. “I could have just walked,” I grumble. He grins unrepentantly, making my pulse speed up for a different reason altogether.
He moves over to the oven and pulls open the door, pulling out something wrapped in foil. He places it down beside me before grabbing a plate and some syrup.
“What is all this?” I question as he grabs a knife and fork from the drawer.
“Me and Star made breakfast,” he replies, tearing open the foil. A little pocket of steam escapes before the smell hits me.
“You made pancakes?”
He cuts into them and spears a piece with the fork before holding it up to my lips. “We made some chocolate chip ones and some blueberry ones.”
I open my mouth so he can slide the fork between my lips.
I tug the pancakes free and groan. “Yum. I can’t believe you cooked with Star, and I didn’t hear or smell anything.
I must have been dead to the world. I can’t remember ever sleeping that deeply before.
I’m used to sleeping with one eye open,” I admit, opening my mouth for another bite.
“Can’t tell you how happy that makes me.”
“Why?”
“Because it means you trust me even when you’re at your most vulnerable.”
As I process his words, he keeps feeding me until I have to admit defeat. “I’m stuffed, but that was delicious.”
“Can you still move?”
I frown. “Of course. Why?”
He moves between my legs and pushes me to lean back. “Because you’re about to be a whole lot fuller.” He winks, and I swear my whole body spasms.
I grip the edge of the counter as he yanks my sweatpants and underwear down my legs, throwing them over his shoulder without a care in the world.
He spreads me wide before looking up at me. “Keep your eyes on me, angel.”
I nod as he picks up the syrup and flips the lid. It never dawned on me when he fed me syrup-free pancakes that he might use it for something else. I gasp when he pours a drizzle of syrup over my heated core. He dives in, licking up every drop before he adds a little more.
“So fucking sweet,” he murmurs before slipping his tongue inside me. I have no clue if he’s talking about me or the syrup.
He flicks, licks, and sucks me like he has something to prove, holding me hostage with his intent to drive me insane. Joke’s on him, I’m more than happy to be his willing captive.
When he thrusts two fingers inside me, I come hard and fast, surprising us both with the intensity. Before I can get my bearings, he has me on my feet, bent over the counter as he thrusts his rock-hard cock inside me.
I’ve barely come down from my last orgasm before I feel the next one climbing. I try to regain some control by thrusting back into him, but he wraps his hand around the back of my neck and pins me to the counter before he starts hammering into me.
In this moment, he’s a trigger-happy, loose cannon chasing nothing but his release. I should be terrified. I’m completely at his mercy. And yet something about him losing control like this makes me feel like a queen because I know Ambros prides himself on his control.
When he pushes into me as deeply as he can get, he groans my name like it’s a plea. The second I feel him pulse inside me, it triggers my own release.
We stay there long after we both come, each trying to remember how to breathe before he presses a tender kiss to my shoulder and eases himself out of me. I feel his cum run down my legs, but he doesn’t care. He simply picks me up and carries me up to the bathroom.
I cup his jaw when I notice how tense he is, but he doesn’t look at me.
“Ambros?”
“I hurt you?”
“No.”
“I scare you?”
“What? No, of course not.”
“I was rough,” he grits out.
I put pressure on his jaw, and he stops, turning to look at me.
“I liked what you did to me.”
He stares into my eyes, reading the truth in them, before he shudders and presses his lips to my forehead. “I lost myself for a minute. I forgot everything but how you felt. Won’t happen again.”
“What if I want it to?” I whisper. He pulls back and looks at me in surprise.
“You made me feel powerful. I’m tired of feeling weak, Ambros, of being treated like I’m fragile.
Right then, there was no history hanging over my head, no ghost standing beside me, and no demons ready to drag me back to hell.
Don’t taint that by making me feel like we did something wrong. ”
“God, I love you.”
“I…I love—” He presses his lips to mine and swallows the rest.
“Not yet. There is no rush. I don’t need your words to act like a soothing balm. You do that already just by being next to me. You say them when you know in your gut that it’s true.”
“How will I know?”
“You’ll just know.” He chuckles when I huff and give no answer. “Now, let’s get you showered and dressed. You have a movie date to get to.”
* * *
“Is this your first date?”
I look over at Amity and throw a piece of popcorn at her. “You’re not funny.”
“Liar. How are you finding the movie snacks? Good, right?”
“Oh yeah. I don’t get how people have any left by the time the movie starts,” I complain, looking down at the half-eaten popcorn as she laughs at me.
When the lights fade and darkness blankets the room, I slide down and make myself comfortable as the movie starts.
I have no idea what we’re watching—this theater plays slightly older movies—but I quickly become absorbed in a story about a bunch of thieves who boost cars and fall in love along the way.
“So we’re rooting for the bad guys, right? Not the cops?”
“Life imitates art, does it not?”
“That’s your way of saying our guys are bad guys?”
“If they were, would you want Ambros any less?”
“I’m not sure there is anything Ambros could do to make me want him less. It’s pathetically tragic, really.”
“All the good love stories are,” she teases as an explosion on the screen makes me jump.
“Did she just drive her car off a train into a helicopter?”
“Uh-huh. Awesome, right?”
I slowly turn my head to look at her. “That’s you, isn’t it?”
She grins before throwing a handful of popcorn into her mouth.
“You’re insane,”
“So your sister keeps on telling me.”
“Is it fun?”
“Hell yeah, there isn’t a high like it.”
“Maybe I should do something crazy and wild.”
“Oh, lord, Pippin is going to kill me.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh. As we watch the movie and all the crazy stunts, I can’t help but feel like I should be doing something more than I am.
I was given this second chance that most people who have been through what I have would never get.
I’m not dumb. The statistics regarding abductions, especially those about children, are grim.
I might not feel like a miracle, but it doesn’t change the fact that most people stand a better chance of winning the lottery than surviving what I did.
I bite my lip and, for a minute, let the wonder of feeling invincible wash over me before Star’s face flashes behind my eyes.
Taking risk, just for the thrill of it, doesn’t seem quite so appealing when I realize that if anything happened to me, it would be Star who would pay the price.
She’s already lost so much, and she’s happy now and in a good place.
Am I really selfish enough to take that away from her? Not a chance in hell.
“You’re thinking awfully hard over there. Anything I need to be worried about?”
I shake my head and smile, watching the happily-ever-after unfold before the credits start to roll. “No. I was thinking about life and the way things work out.”
“Only you could get philosophical while watch an action movie.” She laughs as we get to our feet. I follow her out to the foyer before heading to the restroom. The giant soda was overkill.
I’m just washing my hands when my cell vibrates in my pocket. I snag a handful of paper towels and hurry to dry them before answering when I see it’s Star’s school. “Hello? Is Star okay?”
“Is that Miss Dillion?”
“Yes. Is Star okay?”
“Yes, Star is fine. I’m just calling to inform you that there was an incident at school, but Star has not been hurt at all. I’m sorry to scare you like that.”
I take a deep, shuddering breath as I walk out and see Amity frown when she catches my expression.
“Then what’s wrong?”
“I’m calling to let you know that Star’s father tried to collect her from school early today, but as he didn’t have the password, we couldn’t send him with her. If you would like to add his name to the pick-up list—”
“Did he give you his name? This man, I mean. Did he give you his name or tell you he was Star’s father?”
Amity is on high alert. I’m hoping one of the guys went to pick her up, and the staff just assumed, but I can’t help the sick feeling welling up inside me.
“He did, ma’am. He said he was Star’s father.”
“And his name?” I choke out.
“Let me just look to see if a note was made. Oh yes, here it is. The man’s name was Jasper. Jasper Markem.”