5. Chapter Five
Chapter Five
Luna
“Luna, I hear what you’re saying, but this is a big project.
I was hesitant to put you in charge of it,” Mr. Drake admits.
I’d already known that, but hearing him say it aloud is the smallest ding to my ego.
Meh, who needs one of those anyway? “Natasha is wonderful. It’s why I asked you what you thought about her heading up her own display, but I’m not prepared to hand over the most important presentation all year to her. ”
I have to be careful how I present this. I can’t very well tell my boss that I need time off to go chasing after my ex even if it is the truth. And…truth be told…it’s probably a horrible reason to ask for time off from a job I busted my rear end to secure.
“I fully understand your concerns, but I’ve gotten everything in order. All she has to do is put the pieces where I mapped out, ensure the paperwork is filed, and that’s it. I trust her over everyone else to get this done.”
Mr. Drake removes his glasses and sighs. “The transfer was unexpected and a mistake you made, Miss Parsons. I can’t have another mistake like that. The board will eat me alive if we cannot track our own pieces.”
“I understand. I do…” I fade, realizing this might be a horrible idea.
What am I doing? My boss is counting on me to ensure this exhibit opening goes off without a hitch.
I can’t possibly expect Natasha to shoulder that burden alone.
And with the interns I’ve been given? No, it’s not possible.
I’ll have to figure something else out, another way to make this work with Rafe without skipping town for a long period of time.
“Miss Parsons?” Mr. Drake reminds me I was midsentence and dropped out on him.
“Can I have five days? The exhibit opens in ten days. Natasha can call me if she needs help, and I’ll drop everything. I’ll confirm delivery of the pieces before I leave in the morning, and if they are off track, I’ll cancel my trip.”
He hesitates for a moment, but finally nods. “Okay. I suppose it is a good way to see how she works under pressure. We’ll call it an unofficial interview, but I warn you, Miss Parsons, if this blows up, it’ll be your job on the chopping block.”
“Understood. Thank you so much, Mr. Drake.”
“Of course. If you don’t mind, please send Natasha in so I can go over some things with her.” He puts his glasses back on and picks up the contract he’d been reviewing when I knocked on his door.
“I will. Thank you again,” I say and hurry out before he has a chance to change his mind.
By the time I got everything ready that Mr. Drake required me to do before leaving and assuring Natasha she would be fine, it was too late to pack and begin driving to my little hometown. Rather than arrive exhausted and frustrated, I decided to wait until this morning.
As my alarm blares in my ear, I find I’m grateful that I packed everything last night and even showered so I could get up early and head out. Even with all my careful preparations, I realize nothing could have readied me for the message alert flashing on my phone.
Left at three in the morning. From Rafe.
I swallow hard, worried that whatever is in the message might be a bad sign. Maybe he gave up? Maybe this is a goodbye message? The middle of the night seems like a terrible time for anything else, so with a worried mind, I tap the play button and prepare myself for anything.
“Hey, Luna, it’s Rafe. Uh, I guess you know that but um, listen, I just…I actually just landed in Ireland, and I wanted to see if…Well, to tell you…Okay, let me start over.” His bumbling message already has me confused. He’s in Ireland? What on earth is he doing in Ireland?
“So, I…I needed to tell you that ever since the wedding I’ve been so lost, Luna.
I love you. I’ve always loved you, and I’m always going to love you.
And maybe you deserve more than me, more than what I can give you, but you have always been the one thing God sent me that I know I don’t deserve.
Your light was… is… always the brightest spot in my day, and without it I’m so lost. And I know that’s my fault.
It’s all on me, and maybe you don’t even think about me at all anymore, but I couldn’t close a door on this thing between us without trying one last time.
“I want to fight for you, but I don’t know how.
I’m not one of those guys who always knows what to say, and I can’t promise I will ever be.
But I love you. So much. And everything in Coldstone Creek reminds me of you, so I’m on a trip.
I needed to get out, get away from everything that’s always the same.
Pull myself out of the…I don’t know, the sameness of everything.
I’m not sure if you understand what I mean, but… I had to get out.
“But…that’s a lot of buts, but…anyway, uh, I’m here for a week.
Maybe two. Heck, maybe even three. I got a ticket for you, too.
I rented the cottage next door to mine so you don’t have to be with me the whole time.
So…yeah…if you still love me and you want to make this work, you can find the ticket at the will call desk at the airport.
I hope you come. I hope, more than anything, you know how much I miss you.
I can’t breathe without you sometimes and…
gosh, I’m rambling. I do this all the time.
I’m sorry. I really don’t know why you ever liked me in high school like this but…
anyway, if you want to…to see me, to see if we can sort this out away from everyone and everything else… I’m here. I love you.”
I replay the message twice more to make sure I hear everything right. Then I grab my bag, dump it on the bed, and grab a bigger one. After all, a girl needs more than a few outfits if she’s going halfway across the world to fall in love all over again.
There’s no doubt about it. I’m going. I’m falling. And I’m not leaving there until I’m Rafe Thomas’ future again. I’m not leaving until we figure out how to work together in this relationship—one where I learn to say what I need, and he learns to say what he feels.
After I check the weather and repack, I send a quick message to Mav asking if he knew about this.
When he replies that he only just found out before Rafe left for the airport, I shoot one back asking him to keep our conversation between us.
I don’t want Rafe to know I’m coming, not yet.
I need to think on the way, and when I arrive, I want to surprise him.
More than anything, I want this sudden urge to lay it all on the line to be the nudge from God I’ve been praying for.
Rather than assume that is the case, I take a moment to pray.
My focus and judgment have been pretty suspect lately, so the only way I can know I’m on the right path is to ask.
With complete abandon and utter humility, I fall on my knees and ask God to support me, to guide me, and to work this out for our good—mine and Rafe’s—before we both go insane trying to figure it out ourselves.
With one final utterance, I grab my bag and head to the airport.
To say my flight has been stressful is an understatement, but I try to make the best of it by thinking about what I’ll say when I see Rafe again. I’m not sure if this trip will change things, but with every prayer I utter on this plane, my heart feels more at ease with this adventure.
Staring out the window, I can’t help being distracted by how beautiful Ireland is, but I also can’t help thinking I should be more inspired by the sheer gloriousness of its landscape.
Perhaps if the baby three rows back weren’t screaming bloody murder, or the guy beside me hadn’t been barefoot the entire flight, and the woman in front of me didn’t smell like rancid cheese, I might be better able to appreciate something so gorgeous.
An intrusive thought slips in just as the pilot announces we’re about to land. Everyone commences with the buckling and preparation, but my mind drifts toward that thought. It’s not wrong, but it’s also me not trusting God completely.
All I can think is that I don’t need a vacation. I don’t need to go on an adventure and waste time. I need to be loved. And I’m not sure if Rafe really loves me or just misses the routine we had.
It’s as simple and as complicated as that.
Two of his brothers are married and two are in serious relationships, all in the span of less than one year, which must make him feel a little more lost. On my part, I’m as single as any pringle can possibly get.
I know it’s my fault, too, but I’ve been a little busy lately.
It isn’t like curating a brand-new exhibit is easy, and with the interns I’ve had, it’s been almost impossible.
At every turn, it seemed like my work doubled.
At least, until Natasha came along. And now?
Well, it feels like I never leave the office.
When I do, it’s to sleep for about five hours and do it all again the next day.
When you add a smattering of crummy dates on top of it, I’m lucky I sleep at all.
I check my watch again. Hopefully, Natasha is doing well. I know she has everything under control, but that doesn’t stop more intrusive thoughts from running rampant in my mind.
“It’s fine,” I whisper under my breath. “It’s fine. I’m fine. Everything is fine. This is going to work out just fine.”
Naked-foot guy gives me a glance like I’m somehow the weirdo sitting in the row. I breathe out nice and slow and resume my window staring. We’ll be landing soon, then maybe I can find the rental home and take a quick nap before facing Rafe.