Chapter Forty-one
Serena
“Please don’t do this to me.”
The words tear out of me the second he reaches for the gag. My chest is burning, my lungs refusing to work properly, like my body already knows what’s coming and is trying to shut down before it has to survive it.
“Please,” I gasp as soon as my mouth is free. “Please don’t leave me. I love you so much.”
My voice breaks on the last word.
I don’t recognize myself. I’m begging. I’m shaking so hard the chair rattles beneath me. Tears soak my face, drip down my neck, into my chest. Every breath hurts. Every heartbeat feels like it’s splitting me open.
He touches my cheek.
Just that.
And I lean into it like a dying thing reaching for warmth.
“I wish there was another way,” he says quietly, like the words are costing him something vital. “But there isn’t, baby.”
Something inside me collapses.
I sob harder, my body folding in on itself as much as the restraints allow. “I can’t lose you,” I cry. “Please. Please don’t do this.”
We were happy. We were a family. We had babies and laughter and stolen moments and a future I could feel in my bones. How did we go from that to this? How does a life shatter so completely without warning?
“Listen to me, love,” he says, firmer now, like he needs the strength for both of us. “I don’t deserve you. I never have.”
I shake my head violently. “Don’t say that,” I sob. “Don’t you dare say goodbye to me.”
“You’ll be better off without me,” he continues, his voice cracking despite his effort to hold it steady. “You know this.”
No.
No, I don’t.
“You’ll have the life you always wanted,” he says softly, forcing a smile that guts me. “You’ll be safe. The—” His voice breaks. He swallows hard. “The kids will be safe. They’ll grow up normal. Free. Without me.”
Something ugly and desperate rips out of my chest.
“I don’t want a normal life!” I scream. “I want you!”
My voice shatters. “I want you,” I whisper, like if I say it softly enough, the universe might listen.
His hands are shaking now. I see it. I see the tears he refuses to let fall, the way his jaw tightens like he’s biting back a scream.
“You don’t see it now,” he says hoarsely, “but this is the only way. I would’ve never had the strength to walk away from you. I was too selfish to let you go.”
He looks at me like he’s trying to memorize my face.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispers, like the word is tearing its way out of him. “Not just for this moment. For every time you cried alone because of me. Every night I left you wondering if you were safe. Every second I made you feel small when all you ever did was love me.”
His voice breaks.
“I know apologies don’t erase damage. I just need you to know I carry every tear like it’s carved into my skin.”
I can’t breathe. The air won’t come.
“Please forgive me, love.”
“I love you,” I sob. “Please. This can’t be happening.”
He gives me a sad, broken smile, the kind you give when you already know you’re lost.
“Do you remember when I told you I wouldn’t let you be with anyone else?” he asks quietly, like the memory costs him breath.
I shake my head, tears spilling faster now, my body betraying me as it breaks.
“I was wrong,” he continues, voice fraying. “I don’t get to make that choice for you.” His throat works hard. “I want you happy, Serena. Even if that happiness never includes me.”
A pause. Brutal.
“I want you to forget my name. To build a life with a man who doesn’t make you cry the way I did.”
I can barely breathe.
“I trust you’ll find someone better,” he says softly. “Better for you. Better for them.” His voice drops to nothing. “Better than me.”
The first tear slips free and falls down his cheek.
That’s when something inside me truly dies.
“I’m forgettable,” he whispers. “That’s what I need to be for you.” He forces a breath. “Move on. Build something better.”
His eyes shine.
“But I’ll carry you with me for the rest of my life. I’ll remember every smile. Every laugh. Every time you chose me when you shouldn’t have.”
His lips tremble as the truth spills out. “You were the best thing that ever happened to me.” Then, broken, “And all I want now, is for you to be happy. That’s it. That’s all I ask.”
“Please stop,” I sob. “Please. I can’t take this.”
“Take him.”
Xander’s voice slices through the moment.
Men step forward.
“Leave him alone!” I scream, my voice raw, shredded. “They’ll kill you. Why are you doing this?”
The men hesitate just long enough for him to lean down.
He kisses me softly, reverently, like it’s a prayer, like it’s goodbye in a language only we understand.
“You still don’t get it,” he whispers against my lips. “I’d kill for you.” His forehead presses to mine. “And I’d die just as easily.”
Tears stream freely down his face now, matching mine.
“Promise me you’ll move on.”
“No,” I cry, breaking completely. “Please. Don’t ask me that.”
“I love you, Serena.”
That’s all he says.
Then they take him.
My scream tears out of me as they drag him away, my body straining forward even though I’m tied down, my soul clawing after him.
I want to die.
But I can’t.
I have to live for my little angels.
How do I tell Celeste and Maddox that their father chose death so they could live?
How do I wake up every day without his love?
The question breaks out of me before I can stop it, raw and fragile in the heavy silence between us.
He stops suddenly. Turns. For one terrifying second, hope sparks in my chest, bright and reckless, like something desperate clawing its way back to life.
Then he rips himself free from whatever held him there.
The hope dies as quickly as it came. He charges Lauren.
The impact knocks her to the floor. He’s on her instantly, rage and grief and love crashing out of him in violent blows. Over and over. His fists are relentless, unhinged.
Men rush forward, trying to pull him back.
“Secure him!” Xander shouts.
Lauren doesn’t move.
Then a man steps in and presses a device to Lorenzo’s neck.
His body jerks.
Once.
Twice.
Again.
Again.
Until he collapses.
He hits the floor hard, face pressed to the cold stone. His beautiful face. His mouth still moving.
“I love you,” he whispers.
Then a gunshot.
The sound is deafening.
He jerks violently as the bullet tears into his shoulder.
“No!” I scream. Please, please don’t be dead. Please don’t be dead.
They drag him away, down the hallway, his body limp, blood streaking the floor behind him.
And I watch.
Unable to scream anymore.
Unable to breathe.
Knowing, with a certainty that feels like a death sentence, that this is the last time I will ever see the man I love.
And that from this moment on, I will have to survive a world without him.
“Lorenzo is an honorable man, Serena.”
I lift my eyes slowly to Xander. It feels like moving through water. I can barely breathe.
“I promise I’ll keep my end of the bargain if he keeps his,” he continues, his voice calm, almost respectful. “His sacrifice won’t be in vain. Although I don’t appreciate him attacking Lauren. . . it was understandable.”
Tears keep falling. I don’t even bother wiping them away anymore.
He smiles.
That soft, patient smile makes something feral twist inside me. I want to skin his face just to wipe it off.
“Fuck you,” I scream at him, my voice breaking.
He doesn’t flinch. “Would you like me to arrange a car to take you home,” he asks mildly, “or should I call someone to pick you up?”
“This isn’t over,” I say, more to myself than to him. I need to believe it. I need to.
“I’m afraid it is, Serena,” he replies. “Don’t make Lorenzo’s sacrifice be in vain.”
My heart sinks even lower. I didn’t know that was possible.
I’m still crying. I don’t understand how my body hasn’t run out of tears.
I try to stand. My legs barely respond. My body feels numb. Hollow. Xander reaches for me, maybe to help, maybe to control me again.
I shove him away.
Then—
BOOM.
The sound is violent, close, wrong.
The world snaps back into focus.
“What the hell is happening?” Xander snaps into his phone.
The door explodes open.
Lev walks in.
He’s drenched in blood, hair wild, eyes bright with chaos. He tosses something heavy across the floor.
A head.
It rolls to a stop near Xander’s feet.
“There you are,” Lev says cheerfully.
He’s not looking at me.
He’s looking straight at Xander.
There’s an AK-47 in his hands.
Gunfire erupts.
Glass shatters. Walls explode. Xander grabs me suddenly, yanking me against his chest, his arm locking around my neck as he presses the barrel of his gun to my temple.
Men pour into the room from both sides. Xander’s people. Lev’s people. Screams. Shouting. Bullets ripping through air.
“I guess your friend Lorenzo didn’t have time to tell you about our deal,” Xander yells over the chaos, laughing. “Or should I call him my newest whore?”
Lev freezes.
Just for a second.
His left eye twitches.
“What the fuck did you just say?” he asks quietly.
He moves toward Xander like a storm breaking loose.
“You heard me,” Xander replies calmly. “The deal was simple. Serena goes free, and Lorenzo stays. So back off, unless you want to join him.”
Lev laughs.
It’s not a happy sound. It’s unhinged. Dangerous.
“I’ll pass you between us until you can’t fucking sit,” he snarls. “You fucking bitch.”
Then he looks at me.
Really looks.
And for the first time since this nightmare began, I feel something crack open inside my chest.
Hope.
“I’m the plan behind the plan,” Lev says, something fierce flickering in his expression. “My brother doesn’t fight by himself.”
Cold metal presses harder against my temple.
“Then should I kill her?” Xander asks casually.
Lev doesn’t even blink.
Red dots suddenly bloom across Xander’s head.
Laser sights.
Dozens of them.
Lev lets out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “You should’ve stayed in your lane.” His eyes darken. “Instead, you came after her.” He steps forward slightly. “Bold move for a fucking wannabe pimp.”
“Careful, Lev,” Xander replies, unnervingly calm. “I might just be buying time until my backup arrives.”
He glances at his watch. “Which is, right now.”
The doors burst open again.
More men flood the room.
Xander shoves me hard. I hit the floor, my head slamming into the cold stone, pain exploding behind my eyes.
Gunfire becomes deafening.
Bodies drop.
Blood splashes the walls.
Lev’s men are fewer, outnumbered, but they don’t stop.
And neither does the fight.
I curl into myself on the floor, shaking, my ears ringing, my heart pounding wildly in my chest.
I’m so tired.
So fucking tired.
But for the first time since Lorenzo was taken away, I don’t feel completely alone.
“Serena, run!” Lev’s voice cuts through the gunfire.
I try.
I really do.
But Xander’s hand tangles in my hair and yanks me back so hard my scalp burns. If I survive this, I swear to God I’m shaving my head. Long hair is a fucking liability.
I swing at him blindly, nails catching skin, but he’s stronger. Bigger. Meaner. Around us, Lev’s men are dropping one by one, while Xander’s just keep coming.
We’re losing.
Please. Please don’t let this be how it ends.
Then Lev charges.
Xander shoots him in the arm. Blood explodes, but Lev doesn’t even slow down. He’s massive compared to Xander, pure force and rage, and he rips me out of Xander’s grip like I weigh nothing.
“I’ve got you, Serena,” he grunts, holding me tight to his chest.
I break down, sobbing into him. “Please,” I cry. “Please get him too.”
“We will,” he says through clenched teeth. “I promise.”
I nod, barely breathing.
He tries to move us, dragging me with him, but we’re surrounded.
“There’s nowhere to fucking go!” he shouts.
The panic crashes back in full force.
Another gunshot.
Lev jerks violently. A second hit, closer to his shoulder. He groans, stumbling, and then we’re on the floor.
He turns instantly, covering me with his body.
Shielding me.
Like this is obvious. Like this is what brothers do.
I curl into him, shaking. This is it. This is where we die.
“Everything will be okay,” he whispers, forcing a smile even as blood soaks through his shirt.
He’s lying.
We both know it.
Then—
The door explodes open. Wood slams against the wall as more men storm in, boots pounding against the floor, weapons raised and ready. The room fills with sudden movement and harsh breathing. But something’s different.
“FBI!” a voice roars. “Drop the fucking gun!”
The sound slices through the room like a blade.
“Xander Rhodes,” the voice continues, cold and final, “you’d like to hear you’re under arrest, but you’re fucking dead.”
Gunfire erupts again, louder and sharper this time, the sound crashing through the room until it becomes overwhelming. The air fills with the violent echoes of shots and shouts. I force my head up despite the ringing in my ears. And then I see him.
Ian.
Standing there in tactical gear, weapon raised.
Behind him—
Andres.
Working with him.
My brain stutters.
What?
Are they, together?
Am I hallucinating? Is this my mind breaking under pressure? Is this what dying feels like?