18. Julie
18
“ A truce? You called a truce?”
I laugh at the confusion in Kayla’s voice because, to be fair, I’ve barely wrapped my head around it myself.
“Yeah, something like that?” I point at my assistant to adjust the light in the studio, bringing out Ford’s face better while he’s posing in front of the camera.
A long silence follows, and in my mind, I can see her eyes narrow. “Did you hook up with him?”
“What? No!” Okay, maybe that was a bit eager.
“You did, didn’t you?”
I laugh, then lie. “I didn’t! But we all went out together, and we had fun.”
Dry humping, fully-clothed orgasm fun.
“Fun?”
“Yeah, fun! We danced, he drove me home, then he called a truce.”
“There’s something you’re not telling me, missy.”
There’s a lot I’m not telling her, but I’m not ready to talk about it yet.
Call me superstitious, but Jason and I went from clashing like titans, to kissing, and chilling on the beach. I have no clue what I can even say about it. I’m hesitant to be too eager and fuck it up.
“There’s nothing to tell. We’re good. We hung out at the beach with Jordan the other day.”
“I hate this,” Kayla complains, and I imagine her pouting on the couch.
“Hate what?”
“ This! You’re holding back, and I can’t see your face to drag it out of you.” Lucky me. “I’m tempted to fly out there and see what’s going on for myself.”
I smile, my heels clicking over the floor as I move to the back of the studio.
“As much as I would love to see you and have a girls’ night, please don’t. I’m busy as fuck, besides, I’ll see you next month, right?”
“You’re flying back for Hunter’s birthday?”
“Yeah, of course. It’s the perfect timing for a break, and we could do some catching up.”
“Are you staying with your parents?”
A knot forms in my stomach, and I swallow. “No. I promised Charlotte I’d stay with them. Give her and Hunter some time together while I watch the kids.”
“You sure you’re not going to get a hotel room with Jason ?” she teases like a freaking schoolgirl, bubbling a chuckle from my chest.
My eyes find Jason, erasing the knot that was threatening to expand when he flashes a smile my way.
He looks so good in work mode. Effortlessly confident, with a smile that can turn a no into a yes within a heartbeat. I understand why he’s good at his job.
He’s good with people, turning into their wants and needs and making them align with his. He shoots me a wink when he catches me staring, and a blush creeps up my cheeks.
“I’m not getting a hotel room with Jason,” I confirm, turning around to avoid his gaze trailing up and down my body.
Going by the squeeze of my pussy, I’d love to, though.
My assistant motions for me to come talk to her, and I say my goodbyes to Kayla, her protesting for leaving her hanging, and me laughing as I hang up.
I check out the first set of photos next to the photographer and give them some pointers and the suggestion of a different shirt before the shoot continues.
My mind is so at ease, it’s fucking freaking me out.
Any day now, someone is going to knock me off my high horse of good fortune. They have too, right? Because things have been going for the wind for the past two weeks and it’s like butterflies are constantly crashing against the wall of my stomach.
Jason and I are…good?
He hasn’t kissed me again since he declared a truce. Which I’m both grateful for and annoyed by.
The last thing I wanna do is get all tangled up in a sticky situation that can escalate whatever Jacob has up his sleeve. But it’s also exactly what I wanna do.
My eyes are drawn to the man of the hour. And nope, I don’t mean Ford, who’s acting like the class clown while he’s posing in front of the camera. He’s fun. He’s handsome.
But he’s not the one who occupies my mind.
No, it’s the brooding specimen keeping an eye from the left wall.
With his back against the wall, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his biceps stand out against his dark blue Henley. His sleeves are pushed up, showing off his sculpted lower arms. Man, I want them to grab me and never let go.
His short blond hair is a big question mark, something between a styled look and just a wet hand through his hair. Knowing Jason, it can be both.
He laughs, the sound tickling my insides like it’s nobody’s business. Yeah, that damn kiss totally fucked me up. Now I keep staring at his mouth, filled with desire to feel it creating a path up and down my body. To feel his tongue—
My daydream is interrupted by a vibration in my back pocket, and I pull out my phone.
“Julie Bradford?”
“Yeah, this is she.”
“Hi, this is Dr. Emily Carter from Pacific Heights Medical Center. I’m calling for the result of your pap smear.”
“Okay.”
“Unfortunately, we found some disturbed cells in your cervix, and we want to make sure it’s nothing serious.”
“Serious?”
“It could very well be nothing, but to make sure we want to do a colposcopy to further test some tissue and make sure.”
“Can it be cancer?” I can’t believe I’m asking this question.
“There’s a possibility, but right now, we don’t have any indication that it is. It really doesn’t say that much. A lot of women carry this virus. There’s no reason to worry until we get the results.”
“Right.”
“Can you come in next Tuesday at 9?”
“Yeah, sure.”
I don’t hear whatever she says next. I’m almost certain that I forget how to breathe. At least that would explain the rigid feeling in my chest that grows stronger by the second. Why is it so hot in here?
I fan my face with my hand, clinging onto the fabricated breeze it’s creating.
Can it be cancer?
There’s a possibility.
I could have cancer? This is a joke, right? Some shit prank from the universe? It has to be. The tight feeling around my heart spreads down to my stomach as if whatever lump is forming inside of me is made out of solid concrete.
Ford’s laughter rings through the fog in my mind as he’s posing in front of the camera. He’s blurry. He’s not supposed to be blurry.
Shit, it’s happening again. Shit, shit, shit.
I reach out to anything around me to stay steady on my feet, but all I have is the wall my back is pressed against when my legs buckle underneath me. My phone clashes next to me on the floor, and heads are turned my way.
Why can’t I breathe?
Why is it so hot?
“Julie?” Jason’s voice sounds far away, even though he’s right there.
I swallow. I swallow again. And again, but it doesn’t get rid of the bowling ball in the back of my throat.
“Jules, are you okay?” Jason’s face is in front of mine, his hands covering my cheeks.
I’m too hot. It’s too hot.
I shake my head, willing his hot palms to let go of my skin.
“Are you having a panic attack?”
My rib cage moves up and down, pumping air into my lungs, but nothing happens. I can’t breathe.
“I can’t breathe.”
“Shit. You!” Jason barks. “Get me a glass of water.”
I’m gonna pass out.
I blink, trying to get rid of the blur.
“Baby, breathe.”
How? I don’t know how? Unshed tears are adding volume to the ball behind my tongue.
I vaguely register his hand rubbing my back in strong and even motions.
“I’m here. I got you.” Big blue eyes peer into mine, like an anchor, and I clutch my fingers onto his biceps.
My nails dig into his skin. I should let go. I’m hurting him. But I can’t. I’m gonna pass out.
“Here, drink a little.” A bottle of water is pressed to my lips, but nothing happens.
My entire body is frozen, other than my parted lips still gasping for air. Air. I need air. I can’t breathe. My vision blurs to the point where I just see Jason’s contours, blond hair on top.
“Shit, shit, shit! Stay with me, baby.” I smell Jason’s fresh cologne. He’s close.
I wanna speak, but no words come out. I’m sucked further away from him, even though he’s so close.
“Okay, come here,” he says.
A gust of wind runs over my body when getting scooped into the air, and the last thing I hear while I’m pulled under water is Jason’s comforting voice before everything goes black.
“I got you, baby. I always got you.”