28. Julie
28
“ I can’t believe Ford agreed to babysit the dog.” Jordan tosses a couple of peanuts into his mouth, hanging over Charlotte and Hunter’s kitchen island.
The sweetness of my strawberry Daiquiri swifts into my nose, and I smile. I love being here. Charlotte and I used to sit at that breakfast bar and pretend we were at an actual bar, sipping homemade cocktails.
Her mother would let us. She always said she’d rather us drink here, in the safety of her home.
I miss that woman. My stomach squeezes. Seeing her battle cancer for so many years has me fearing my next appointment.
The reason in me knows that it could all be nothing, but still, my feelings go from confident to frightened as fuck within a split second whenever the situation reminds me of it.
“I didn’t give him much choice.” Jason shrugs, looking sexy as hell in his baby blue collared shirt. It’s short-sleeved, and though Jason is not chiseled like Hunter or bulky like Jensen, he’s toned in all the right places, including his arms. “It was either take care of the dog while we’re gone or find a new agent.”
He winks at me, and the squeezing of my stomach is turned into a flutter that makes me smile.
“Maybe some responsibility will do him good,” Hunter offers, taking a sip of his beer with Logan sitting on his hip.
“Doubt it,” Jordan snorts, and we all laugh.
It’s good to be home. I glance around the kitchen, happy I have all my friends here with me. Jensen has Rae pressed against him, her back against his front. Kayla is sneaking sips of Bodi’s rum and Coke, just to mess with his head. Jason has his arms leaning on top of the white countertop, close enough to brush against the brittle hairs on my lower arms from where I sit beside him, and Charlotte and Hunter? Well, they are just smiling and touching each other every chance they get.
It took them seven years to get their heads out of their asses, but now they have everything I dream to have one day. A happy marriage, kids, and they even have the cutest, fluffiest, and damn-near biggest dog they could find.
They have a home.
“Everybody smile!” Jordan flips his phone, activating selfie mode, and snaps a picture of us all in the kitchen before anyone can object.
“I do not want to see my face on your grid, Mr. Superstar,” Kayla sputters. “I like my life anonymous, thank you very much.”
“Don’t worry, baby girl, it’s just my stories.”
“You really need to stop calling me baby girl.”
“You’re not even legal yet and you’re a girl.” Jordan shrugs. “If the shoe fits.”
Kayla rolls her eyes, looking for back-up in Bodi.
“He’s not wrong, baby.” Her boyfriend smirks, and laughs fly around the room when Kayla flips him off.
I glance at the man beside me. His blond hair is short, bringing out the tan that deepens every time he catches a wave. Blue eyes that now remind me of an ocean I’m slowly facing my fears in.
He took me out in the water a couple of times now, and I’m getting more and more relaxed each time we do. I would’ve never had the guts to try it myself. I wouldn’t even have the guts to try it with anyone else.
But I trust this man with my life.
Charlotte wraps her arm around me, pressing her cheek against mine. “I’m so happy you’re staying with us. You sure you don’t want to crash at your parents’?”
She smells like flowers and candy, and dressed in a white sundress, she adopted the whole housewife role like no other.
“And miss all those morning cuddles from Logan and Lizzie? Hell no.” I stare at her firstborn, a rowdy toddler with devilish eyes like his daddy. I adore him . “He’s gotten so big in a couple of months. They both did.”
Lizzie is barely six months old, but considering she was a newborn the last time I saw her, she looks like she’s gonna start walking anytime now in my eyes.
Charlotte huffs. “I know. He’s eating like he’s a fucking sailor.”
“As long as he doesn’t swear like one.”
“Give it time with a dad like his,” Kayla jokes, throwing Hunter a wink behind her virgin Mojito, and we all laugh.
Hunter playfully squints his eyes, pointing an accusing finger at my brown-haired friend. “Watch it, preteen. Or I won’t swap your mocktails for real ones anymore.”
Bodi frowns at Hunter, then swishes his head toward his girlfriend, who’s taking the time to finish her entire glass. “Kayla,” he groans. “Are you drinking?”
She shrugs, like the little sassball that she is, then slams her glass on the counter. “I guess we’ll never know.”
“Bloody hell, Hunter. She’s underage.”
Hunter huffs, stepping toward the screen door as if he’s deaf. “I’m gonna go check on the grill.”
“Relax, Bodi. We’re with family. Don’t pretend you and I never got drunk before we hit twenty-one.” Jensen grins.
Rae points an accusing finger and a stern eye at Bodi. “Ha, I bet you two raised hell long before you both could drive cars.”
Bodi runs a hand through his brown hair with a crooked smile. “Yeah, I’m gonna go see if Hunt needs some help.”
I chuckle when Bodi squirts out of the kitchen, Jensen following him before my cheek is touched by soft lips.
They feel like velvet on my skin, flushing my face. I bite my lip and turn my head to Jason’s affectionate expression.
“I’m gonna hang outside with the guys,” he says, his hand rubbing my back like he’s been doing it forever.
“Okay.”
The burning stares of my three friends, still situated around the kitchen, are turning my body heat up as we all watch Jason stroll into the backyard. As soon as the screen door slams against the doorpost, three sets of eyes find me like lasers.
“So…,” Kayla drawls, swiping my strawberry Daiquiri from across the counter and taking a big gulp.
“So…” I parrot.
“What’s going on?” Charlotte asks, her green eyes tender and non-judgmental as always.
What’s going on? I knew I should have had this conversation with Jason before he dropped me off when we arrived in North Carolina. But then again, he’s acting like he already knows.
But calling him my boyfriend without his permission also doesn’t feel right. So, instead, I reach over the white marble, snatching my drink back. “Nothing.”
Kayla’s jaw drops as her eyebrows stick together in disbelief. “Are you freaking kidding me? Last time we spoke, Jason vowed to make your life a living hell. Now he’s kissing your cheek, letting you know he’s gonna hang outside. Spill it!”
I knew the youngest member of our group was never going to let me get away with an answer like that. Rae and Charlotte would, but Kayla says it how she sees it. It’s refreshing most of the time. Unless you don’t wanna talk about something, and she decides you have to.
“It’s…” I think about the right words.
“Don’t you dare say it’s complicated.” Charlotte scowls. “That’s my line.”
“Are you together?” Rae asks.
God, I hope so.
“We haven’t really spelled it out yet. But I think we are?”
“Oh, you are,” Kayla throws out there, and I toss an ice cube at her wolfish grin.
“Jordan says you are.” Charlotte shrugs innocently, though her eyes gleam with the same mischief as Kayla and Rae.
“Jordan doesn’t know shit,” I counter.
“I think Jordan is right.” Rae smiles, taking a sip of her wine.
Her head is tilted a little, her two-tone pink tank top sliding off her shoulder as she does. I hold her daring gaze, an eyebrow popping up as if she’s saying, you know it’s true.
Little brats. I think Jordan is right, yeah.
“Do you want him to be right?” Charlotte shoves the plate of antipasti my way, and I toss a piece of serrano ham into my mouth.
“I do,” I say, chewing around it. “But I still feel like it can slip from my fingers any moment now.”
“Why?”
“Because it did the last time.”
“What happened last time?” Rae runs a hand through her blonde hair, flipping it to the side before she slides the tray back to her to pick up an olive.
My chest tightens, knowing exactly which conversation I’m about to have. I’ve been avoiding it for months now, because I know these girls. I love them to death, and I’m certain the feeling is mutual.
As soon as they find out everything Jacob did, they’ll be out the door with pitchforks and machetes. My sweet Charlotte takes the lead, even though she’s the peacemaker of the four of us.
But knowing Jason and I are finally in a good place, and no longer feeling as alone as I was, it’s time.
I suck in a breath. “Jacob proposed.”
“What? When? Are you kiddin me?” each one of them exclaims at the same time, barely enough space to figure out who said what.
All of them have shocked looks on their faces, jaws slacked and eyes wide.
“A couple months back,” I admit, taking another big gulp of my drink. “We were the only ones left at the office and it was late. We were getting along, which was rare, then all of a sudden, he pulled out a ring and asked me to marry him.”
The whole thing was bizarre as fuck. I broke up with him a month before. We were speaking, but only because we worked together. For the sake of the company. And you know, being a professional and all. I know for a fact I hadn’t given him any indication I was thinking about taking him back.
Jason was flying home the next day, and I was finally going to admit how I felt about him.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Kayla cocks her head, her expression softening.
“Because I obviously said no right away. Plus, I was embarrassed and annoyed. I broke up with him four weeks earlier, and this time, I meant it. I was done. Him showing up with a ring just made me angry.”
I already knew the asshole never listened to me, but him buying a ring for a relationship that was dead and gone long before we broke up solidified it.
“So then what?” Rae meets my eyes.
I let my shoulders sag, releasing the air from my lungs. Then we did what we did best.
“We fought. Or I fought, and he pleaded. He left the ring on my desk when he walked out, and I threw it in my bag because I didn’t want to leave it at the office for everyone to grab and see.”
Dumbest thing I’ve ever done. I should’ve just left it there, never touched it. Why did I feel responsible for that damn piece of jewelry. He left it there, not me.
“I was gonna return it to him the next day,” I go on, “but he didn’t come in for the rest of the week and Jason was in town. We met for drinks at the Holiday Inn downtown, but the second he realized Jacob and I were really done, drinks turned into us getting a hotel room.” I find Kayla’s eyes, before they move over to Rae and Charlotte. “That’s the first time we slept together.”
“I knew it! How was it?” Kayla shouts with excitement, like I told her Bodi bought her a theme park.
I chuckle, the memory warming my chest. “Great. Amazing. Like everything was right in the world. We hadn’t talked about what was going to happen after, but it was clear we were finally on the same page.”
I still remember that moment like it was yesterday. I’d been longing to feel what it was like to be in his arms and not think of it as something bad because he was my boyfriend's brother. I’d been longing to be held like I was his. And for just a couple of hours, I was the happiest I’d ever been.
My smile turns into a frown, and I fixate on my pastel pink nails. “But then Jason found the ring in my bag.”
“Oh, shit,” they collectively murmur.
My stomach churns, thinking about that night, my heartbeat picking up pace.
It was awful. If I could turn back time, that’s the moment I’d go back to. I’d toss that damn ring out of my bag and into the trash and I’d tell Jason I love him.
Because I do. I love him more than anything. I love him like Hunter always loved Charlotte. I always loved Jason. I just never really thought I’d fall in love with him.
I nod. “He freaked, which I understood. But then he walked out on me without asking for an explanation. I didn’t talk to him until I moved to LA.”
I understood, of course I did. Seeing another link to his brother must have broken his heart, but it still aches knowing he didn’t give me any chance to explain it.
“That’s it? That’s why he ghosted you?” Kayla growls with a hand balled into a fist.
I bite my lip, softly nodding.
“That son of a bitch.” Kayla looks radioactive and ready to raise hell.
I shake my head. “He apologized for it. We’re good now.”
She settles back into her seat, albeit still a bit on edge.
We are good, though. I genuinely feel he regrets it, and I just wanna focus on the future. I know we both won’t let it happen ever again. Though, the sadness that settles around my heart tells me I might still need some time to really let that pain dissolve. To let myself heal and trust again.
I conjure a smile on my face, pushing whatever emotion I have left to the side, but Charlotte wouldn’t be my best friend if she didn’t see right through me. It’s no wonder I avoided her for months. I can barely keep anything a secret from her.
She wraps her arm around my shoulder, tugging me against her side until I meet her eyes. They are green and filled with a pureness that always had the ability to stare right into my soul. I brace myself for whatever is going to come out of her lips next.
“Why are you worried, then?”
See, there you have it. She always calls me out on my bullshit. When I want to pretend I’m okay, she’s there looking at me with an expression that says, who are you fooling, girl? And I can’t even be mad about it, because she does it with a level of kindness and compassion that makes it impossible to get annoyed by her.
So, why am I worried?
Because after all this time, there’s a part of me that’s wondering if maybe Jason and I are just not meant to be. If maybe we’re always doomed by bad timing and shit communication. But just thinking about the possibility of that being true breaks my heart before it’s even fully healed again.
The doorbell echoes through the hallway and into the kitchen, and I jump up before either of them can hijack my escape.
“I’ll get it.”
Saved by the fucking bell.