33. Jason
33
JASON: How are the kids doing?
JULIE: We just ate spaghetti. Logan decided to wear the sauce. *Picture*
JASON: He looks like a monster.
JULIE: He is.
JULIE: But a very cute one.
JASON: That he is. Are they going to bed soon?
JULIE: Making a bath for him now.
JASON: Can I come over later? I miss you.
JULIE: Promised I was gonna watch a movie with Charlotte. Sorry.
JASON: No problem. Have fun with Charls.
Disappointment creeps into my chest when I click off my phone and slide it into my gray sweatpants.
I don’t want to come across as a possessive asshole. She should have her own things, spend time with her best friend now that we’re home. But I miss her.
I sound like a love-struck idiot because I just saw her yesterday, but I haven’t had her alone in four days and, deep down, it’s killing me.
I’m dying to kiss her without anyone watching. To touch her until she comes on my hands. To trace her soft skin with my fingers. To smell her.
Flutters fly through my insides.
Man, I got it bad.
I get that she wants to see Charlotte and the kids, but I’m gonna need a little Julie dose tomorrow. Maybe I can call Hunter, see if we can all go do something fun with the kids. Maybe make it a zoo day or a day at the park, have a little picnic.
Yeah, that’s a good idea.
I amble down the stairs, a mix of spices entering my nose before I walk into the kitchen. My sweet mother stands in front of the stove, stirring in a big pan, her baby blue apron in front of her yellow sundress.
“Smells good, Mom.” I kiss the top of her head, right beside the beginning of her gray ponytail.
“I made gumbo.” She beams up at me, and I glance at the orange stew.
My stomach roars, my mouth watering, and I let out a moan.
“Really? I haven’t had gumbo in so long.” There’s nothing better than my mother’s fresh gumbo after a long day.
“Which is why I make it every time you come home. It also means you don’t come home enough, Jason Eli Spencer.”
I open the cabinet above her head, taking out plates to set the table. “You’re right. I’ll try to do better. I bet Julie will want to come back home more often too.”
My side-eye catches her full gaze as she whips around. She’s tiny compared to me and my brothers, but I have the woman on a pedestal. After the divorce, I thought she would crumble, suddenly alone with three teenage boys. But she flourished and showed a strength I guess I recognize in Julie.
She cocks an eyebrow. “Are we talking about the same Julie? Julie from high school?”
“Is that okay?” My lips curve a little bit, taking the cutlery out of the drawer.
“I always liked her. She might have been dating your brother, but I loved that she was still friends with you.” She turns back around to stir the gumbo. “I haven’t seen her in so long. I heard she moved to LA, but I didn’t dare to ask if that was for a certain reason.”
Her questioning gaze briefly flies over her shoulder, and I laugh.
“It wasn’t.” Or at least, I don’t think so? “Though I’m happy she did. She got a job at North Viking Sports.”
“I never expected her to leave her dad’s business. She was always so passionate about it, sharing all the plans she had for the future.”
“I know.”
“Why did she?” My mother adds a little more chili flakes to the pan.
“I haven’t really figured that out.” I’ve been so wrapped around in bliss in the last couple of weeks that I let that nagging question slide.
I didn’t want to ruin what we have and what we’re trying to rebuild. But it is still sitting in the back of my mind that it doesn’t make sense. Julie adores her parents, especially her dad. For her to just walk out of the family business is odd.
“Did she have a falling out with her folks?” I don’t miss the tone in my mother’s voice that piques my curiosity.
“Do you know something?” I finish setting up the table, then take a seat on one of the squeaking chairs.
“Ran into him at church a couple of weeks ago. Asked him how Julie was,” she says carefully.
“Mom?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Mom,” I rumble because, clearly, it’s not nothing .
“He was a bit vague. Felt like there was something going on.”
Something weird runs through my veins, something that makes me antsy and my skin itch. “She hasn’t told me. I didn’t wanna push. We haven’t been on good terms until a couple of weeks ago.”
Though, this wakes up a fire again that says I should do exactly that. Push and find out what’s going on. What she’s not telling me, so I can help her. It’s obvious she’s going through something, and I don’t want her to go through it alone.
“So, are you now? On good terms?”
“We’re on great terms,” I say, though the words are a little stained now that I’m reminded I don’t know everything that’s going on in her life.
“Great? Really?”
I push my feelings away, conjuring a wide smile when my mother turns to face me. “I wanted to book us a hotel, but she wanted to stay with Hunter and Charlotte to catch up with the kids.”
“She’s a sweetheart. You know she’s always welcome here.”
Of course, I do. She practically lived here back in high school. Back when she wasn’t mine. Which makes the situation a little complicated.
“I know. She knows, but it’s kind of awkward with Jacob in the house.”
My mother scoffs. “Nonsense. It wasn’t before.”
I suck in a deep breath, preparing myself to spit out the next couple of words, because I’m done pretending otherwise. “Yeah, but now she’s mine.”
My mother’s eyes almost fly from her skull, and I brace myself for judgment. Or at least some kind of comment about how me stealing my brother’s girl is crossing a line, but instead, the shock on her face turns into a teary smile and happiness drips from her gaze.
“You’re together?” she whispers.
Pride swells in my chest, and I nod.
She nods with me, hand on her heart, and a sense of relief washes over her features. As if this is something she’s been waiting for, and finally the day is here.
I bite my lip to hold in the giddy feeling my mother’s nonverbal approval evokes.
Out of everyone who’s gonna have an opinion about this, hers is the one I value the most. Seeing her standing in front of me with nothing but love aimed my way, well…it boosts my confidence.
“Hello, Mama.” Jacob enters the kitchen, and the warmth in the room is replaced with an icy feeling when I look at my brother kissing my mother on the cheek. “What are you two chatting about?”
He’s looking all sophisticated, with his black slacks and a dress shirt to match. His blond hair has always been a bit longer than mine, and it’s smoothed over his head in one of those rich prick styles.
My spine tenses, my hands balling into fists. He drops his sorry ass across the table from me, a sly grin sitting in the corner of his mouth.
Instantly, I want to punch him.
“What are the two of you chatting about?” Jacob asks.
My mother glances over her shoulder, aware of the sudden tension crackling through the air, but trying to smile it away. “Jason told me he saw Julie in LA. They flew home together for Hunter’s birthday.”
“Did they?” Jacob cocks his head at me, slouching in the chair with his arm on top of the back.
We’re twenty something and supposed to be mature human beings, but staring at my brother sitting at the kitchen table like he’s still a cocky jock in college makes me roll my eyes. Kids are supposed to grow up, become more sensible, more understanding. Act like adults. But though we all got a little older physically, mentally, he’s still the teenage prick he’s always been.
He tilts an eyebrow in question, a dare flickering in his eyes.
And the grown-up thing to do is take the high road and leave this conversation for another time. But when I hold his stare, I realize my adulting skills walked out of the room when he entered. It’s been years in the making. I’m done hiding how I feel about Julie.
“Julie and I are together. She’s my girlfriend.”
Mama’s eyes widen, a little glare shot my way.
I brace myself for Jacob’s rage, a couple of curse words, and a lot of resentment coming my way, but he just holds my gaze, his sly grin expanding by the second.
“Yeah, I know,” he finally says.
My stomach turns. The air disappears from my lungs. My heart stops for at least a beat. “You know?”
How can he know?
Dread is piled on top of my chest, the weight of it getting heavier and heavier with each passing moment.
“She told me yesterday,” he explains, as if all is well in the world.
“Yesterday?” I blink, buying myself time to go over yesterday.
To see what I missed. He wasn’t at Hunter’s birthday. Hunter hates him more than I do, so there’s no way he’d even allow Jacob on his property. But then she was gone. She went to see Jacob?
“Yeah, she didn’t tell you?” His smug gaze raises my body heat. “She did a showing with me. You know, some extra support. Extra set of eyes and hands.”
“A showing?” The showing she said she did with her dad.
For her dad .
But really, she met with Jacob.
I can’t believe she would do that. I can’t believe she wouldn’t tell me. Unless…she has something to hide.
“You look really stupid with your mouth open like that.” Jacob twirls his hand in front of my face, and I close my mouth, my jaw ticking before he continues with triumph in his voice.
“Oh, I know. You had no idea she was with me? Your girlfriend is keeping some secrets from you?” he taunts. “Don’t worry, baby brother. We didn’t do anything. I could’ve. But I didn’t.”
“Jacob, behave!” my mother scolds, though it’s followed with a sigh that I’ve seen at least a couple hundred times when I still lived at home.
A sigh that speaks volumes, tired, and a silent prayer to God, hoping one day Jacob and I would wake up and get along.
My cracking chest moves up in slow and deep breaths, doing everything I can to remember I’m sitting in my mother’s kitchen, and this isn’t the place or the time to murder my brother. “Shut the fuck up.”
Jacob shrugs. “Just showing him the truth about his new girlfriend, Mom. After all, I know exactly what she’s like.”
Every fiber in my body wants to react in rage toward my brother, to give in to the urge to rip his head off and display it on the living room mantel. But I would be lying if his words didn't plant seeds in my brain.
Showing him the truth about his new girlfriend, Mom.
What is the truth? She’s not being honest about what’s going on with her folks. She flat out admitted there was something about Jacob she couldn’t tell me. Deep down, I know Jacob is right. He did see her yesterday.
That alone isn’t a problem for me. If she just would’ve told me.
But she didn’t.
She lied to me.
I jump out of my seat, the chair falling to the floor at the sudden movement, before I head to the door with fire on my heels.
“Jason,” my mother calls out. “Jason, where are you going?”
“Out.”