37. Jason
37
T his beer tastes like piss.
But I doubt anything else will taste much better considering the mood I’m in so it’ll do.
I take another sip.
“You really think she’s still fucking Jacob?” Jordan sits beside me on the bed of my old truck, strumming on his guitar.
“Pfft, I don’t know.” But then that comment makes my insides shrink. “No. But there’s something going on with them and she won’t tell me what. How am I supposed to trust her when she won’t be honest with me?”
“I don’t know? You just do?”
Her hurtful expression from last night is etched into my brain. It’s gutting me, it really is.
But I also have to protect myself.
In the past ten years, she went back to Jacob more than once. How can I trust that she’s really committed to us, to me , when he’s still standing between us?
He isn’t just a ghost from the past; there’s something that still has her connected with him, and I don’t wanna deal with that if she won’t open up.
A deep roar rumbles into the clearing, a truck parking next to us before Hunter pops out. He eyes the bottle in my hand, then looks up at the sun. Squinting, he shoots me a look.
“Are we into day drinking now?”
“Yup.”
“Huh.” He nods, then pulls something from the passenger seat. “It’s a good thing I brought beer, then.”
His grin is wide, holding up a six-pack before shoving me aside to sit on my left.
Jordan sets his guitar behind us, making a little room before he eyes the beer cans. “It says zero percent.”
Hunter arches an eyebrow. “I’m a dad and I’m driving. I ain’t mocking fate.”
“God, you turned into such a dork,” Jordan chuckles.
Hunter rests his back to the side of the bed, one leg cross legged and the other dangling to the ground as he eyes my brother before his judgy expression falls on yours truly.
“Don’t even care.” He opens one of the cans. “I’m assuming we’re bitching and drinking about the blonde who hijacked my wife?”
My curiosity is spiked instantly.”
“She’s with Charlotte?”
“Yeah.” Hunter takes a sip.
“Do you know what’s going on?” Jordan offers, holding up his hand before Hunter drops a can in it.
“They wouldn’t tell me. I was forcefully instructed to take care of the kids, so I did because I’ve got enough ass-whooping in my life to know what’s good for me, and then you texted to join this…” He glances between Jordan and I. “What is this? A pity party?”
“Julie and Jacob met up the other day,” Jordan explains. “She didn’t tell Jason.”
“Do we know why?”
Jordan takes a sip, then shrugs. “Some bullshit about a showing.”
“Thought she didn’t work for her dad anymore?”
“Exactly,” I pitch in.
This would’ve gone differently if Julie just came to me and told me she needed to see Jacob for a showing. I would’ve been fine with that.
Okay, I would’ve been pissed. Probably demand to go with her before I would settle for waiting for her in the car, but I would’ve compromised because she was honest with me.
But instead, she lied about it and said she was with her dad. That’s what’s got me all worked up and ready to bounce.
I don’t want a girlfriend I can’t trust.
“It makes no sense.” Hunter shakes his head, and I let out an aggravated groan.
“Look, after all the shit we’ve been through, she went behind my back. Again .”
“Did we ever consider she has a good reason?” Hunter opts, and the glare that follows is aimed to kill.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know. They worked together. Maybe she stills needs to do shit for her father’s company and therefore she has to deal with Jacob Schmacob.”
“That’s the best you could do?” I cock an eyebrow at his lack of originality.
He scoffs, bringing the can to his lips. “Oh, definitely not. But he’s still your brother and all.”
“Remember the gala, Jay?”
I turn to face my brother, his blue eyes flashing with hope. “Don’t, Cash.”
“Yeah, we’re really sticking with Cash?” Hunter frowns.
“What’s wrong with Cash?” There is a heap of indignation in Jordan’s tone, only amusing Hunter more.
“Other than your name being Jordan and not Johnny?”
“Shut up. Anyway, she hated him at the gala. Couldn’t stand to be around him.”
“Yet she still came with him,” I remind him.
“Didn’t look like she wanted him there. She was ready to walk out of there without him.”
I was ready to take her out of there. Or at least away from him. She looked like she wanted the ground to disappear underneath her feet just so she could escape the situation.
Escape Jacob.
But hasn’t that happened more than once already? Not like this, Jason.
Shut up .
Whatever.
“So?” I huff, ignoring my instinct to be reasonable. Fuck that. “They used to fight all the time. I know because I was the one who was the shoulder she’d cry on. She just can’t break loose from him. It’s time I accept it and move on with my life.”
That would be easier for all of us.
“I don’t know, man,” Hunter rebukes. “Jacob isn’t just an asshole. He’s a manipulative asshole. What if something is going on?”
“That’s literally what I’m saying.”
Something is going on, and she refuses to be honest about it. If that isn’t a damn red flag, I don’t fucking know what is.
“No, I mean. What if something bad is going on between them?” Hunter tilts his head to force my attention his way. “Look, I heard she’s not talking to her parents. She won’t talk to Charlotte about it, so I don’t know what the deal is, but rumor around the Bradford Agency is that Julie is pushing Jacob to her dad, trying to convince him to make him the assistant managing director after she left. Supposedly, she wrote a recommendation letter and everything.”
She’s doing what?!
She’s professional, and even though I wish she’d just asked her dad to fire him the first time they broke up, she’s not like that.
She has too much compassion for people.
Which I love her even more for.
But she loves that company. She always said it was her future, and ultimately it would become her company. Why would she give her ex-boyfriend more of a voice in her company?
Why would she quit and move to LA, Jason?
Unless she’s still not over him and tried to force it by moving to a different state? Cut ties as much as she can, including the company?
“Why would she do that if she hates him?” Jordan asks, speaking for me.
“Exactly,” Hunter chimes in, a little triumph in his voice.
“She wouldn’t,” Jordan agrees.
I shake my head at both of them. “You two are looking for shit that isn’t there. She’s still stuck in his goddamn claws, that’s all. She wants him .”
Hunter chuckles, and I give him a dull expression. “What?”
“Yeah, I was just eavesdropping after I’d put the kids to bed, and I’m pretty sure she’d love to rip off Jacob's balls and feed them to a bobcat. She clearly doesn’t want him.”
Hope swells in my chest, and I mentally knock it back with a sledgehammer. “It doesn’t matter. It’s over.”
Hunter’s sigh is deep and loud—fuck, so loud. Who knew a big tattooed guy like that can be such a drama queen?
“Look, man. If that’s how you feel, that’s how you feel. But don’t make the same mistake I did.”
“It’s bullshit,” sounds on my right.
“Shut up, Jordan.”
“No, I mean it. You fucking love her, and despite her not telling everything, she loves you too.”
“She doesn’t.” Clearly, she fucking doesn’t.
Otherwise, I wouldn’t be sitting here with a cheap bourbon and a broken heart now, would I?
“She does.” Jordan’s tone gets more irritated by the moment, but I have that in spades.
“How the fuck do you know?”
“Because she looks at you the way Charlotte looks at Hunter!” he cries out, and I just stare back at him, dumbfounded and lost for words as I take in the mix of irritation and…admiration in his gaze. “What? You two are my benchmark, okay?” He glances at Hunter, who just huffs, then finishes the contents of his beer.
“Boy, don’t make me your benchmark, or you’re gonna get your heart broken for no reason.”
We all laugh.
“Don’t worry, you and Charlotte now are my benchmark. I’m not stupid enough to waste seven years if I find the right girl.”
“Ouch.” Hunter grips his heart, though his expression is still dancing playfully.
“No offense.”
“None taken.”
“My point is,” Jordan goes on, “Charlotte loves the shit out of your sorry ass.”
I grind my teeth together, squeezing my bottle hard enough to kill if it was alive. “You done insulting me?”
“Not even a little bit,” he says, unfazed and with not the tiniest bit of humor in his heartbreaker blue eyes. “Julie has had the same look in her eyes. She loves you, man. Even though you’re a stubborn piece of shit.”
“Cash money here has a point.” Hunter points a knowing finger at my brother.
These two, I swear, no fucking help at all.
“Do you two want some cupcakes with your tea party?”
Unbelievable .
“Only if I can shove them down your dumb-ass mouth,” Jordan counters while a laugh bubbles from Hunter’s chest.
“Good one.” He reaches out his fist to Jordan, who bumps his own against it, and I roll my eyes.
“Alright.” Jordan continues, tapping a finger against the metal can. “Can we at least agree something doesn’t add up? Jason?”
There’s a whole lot that doesn’t add up. This I already know. It’s the blonde who doesn’t want to cooperate.
Stubborn little brat.
“What are you saying?” I’m kicking myself mentally for even engaging with these two, because one of these assholes is married and a fucking spokesperson for love ever since.
The other is apparently becoming an advocate for the concept if I can believe the lovey-dovey expression he just showed to the world while talking about Hunter and Charlotte.
“I’m saying stop being a damn donkey and at least go talk to her,” Jordan snaps.
“She won’t talk to me!” I haven’t told him, but I did call her this morning.
I don’t even know why or what in heaven’s name I would tell her, but I just wanted to hear her voice. Maybe I hoped for her to tell me I was wrong, that everything was gonna be alright.
She didn’t answer, and I can tell you that rejection hurt just as much, if not more, as finding out she’s still seeing my big brother.
“So, force her,” Jordan opts, clearly unaware of all the reasons why that sounds so wrong. “Force the truth out of her.”
“Jordan is right. She loves you.”
I stare into the grass, a chill running up my spine. Does she really love me?
If you’d asked me two days ago, I would’ve said yes. But now I’m not sure if she just loves the idea of me. Of someone who isn’t Jacob.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I read the screen. Oh, fuck.
“It’s Ma. We’re being summoned for dinner. All of us. ” I look at Jordan, then whip around to my best friend. “You wanna come?”
His laugh is humorless, and that’s answer enough, considering what I’m asking.
“And have dinner with your brother? No thanks.”
I slap him on the shoulder, then jump off the bed. “Can’t blame you.”
If I was him, I wouldn’t go either.
Unfortunately, I’m not that lucky.