Chapter Thirty-Three
Allie
They say hot sex is good for cardio, but what they are not telling you is that it’s great at making you forget.
The past few weeks have been filled with silence and the hottest sex of my life. The last almost year of my life, I have been so absorbed into my grief that I forgot that physical touch is a key component to life.
Landon makes me forget. He makes me feel like when we are together, my parents aren’t gone, some psychopath did not take over my brain for months, and most of all, he makes me forget the bruises and scars that mark my body.
Silence can be death, but for me, this kind of silence…with him, is necessary to keep me going.
A car flies by me and I am quickly snapped out of my thoughts and take a look down at my watch to see the mile counter at thirteen point one.
Holy shit. How the hell did I just run that far and not even notice?
Because you were daydreaming about a certain robot man that is sexy as fuck.
I round the corner that will be bring me past the playground and slow when I see a familiar face.
Lainey, Landon’s friend that I met on Christmas Day, stands at the edge of the playground covered in snow, watching over a group of kids.
I am debating on whether to turn back around when she calls my name. “Hey Allie! Come over here, girl!”
Crap. What do I do? Do I pretend I didn’t hear her because I have headphones in or do I go up to this girl that I have met once? Fuck.
This is what I get for not interacting with anyone other than a sexy, but pain in my ass man since fall.
Taking a deep breath, I make my way over to her. I need to get back into normal life and what better way to practice than talking with a complete stranger and since I clearly have a thing about befriending strangers, what could go wrong?
As I am stepping up onto the curb next to her, she is about to say something when a kid throws a snowball at a little girl.
“Hey! Tim! Do not throw snowballs! I don’t care if that’s your twin sister. When you’re here, you do not throw balls of ice at people‘s faces! Apologies now, sir!”
“Sowwy Miss Hendrix.”
Damn. I never expected this girl, who looks like a damn Disney Princess, to be so intimidating. A laugh escapes me and I smile.
Maybe this interacting with others outside of Landon won’t be so bad.
After she helps the cutest little girl wipe snow off her face, she sends her on her way and turns to me, her attention still on the kids.
“Hi! Sorry about that. Having twins in the same class has proved to be rather challenging, but they are such sweethearts who cares!”
“It’s okay. I’m used to being around little ones.”
“That’s exactly why I called you over here! You’re looking incredible, by the way! I see you running over here all the time and girl, I don’t know how you do it. I’d be dying after the first mile.”
We both laugh and she continues, “A little birdie told me you are a nurse to little ones.”
Not wanting to go down a rabbit hole of asking who told her, I smile and say, “Yeah. It’s been a little bit, but I am a pediatric nurse. My specialty was typically in the ICU, but I wandered to the happier unit sometimes.”
Lainey flashes me smile, “You are a real saint. I could never be around sick babies all the time. I’d be bawling my eyes out daily.”
“Yeah. It’s tough some days, but it’s also very fulfilling to see them go from the lowest of lows to running down the halls. You definitely have to understand how to separate and not get attached to every patient or you won’t last very long.”
Lainey curls her arms around herself, “I can’t even imagine. I—”
She is interrupted as a little boy runs up to her crying because another boy took his ball. Effortlessly, she settles him and turns her attention back to me. “Sorry. Never a dull moment. Anyway, I am about to have to get these kiddos back inside, so I’m sorry to drop this on you out of nowhere.” She giggles before continuing, “So we are looking for a nurse. The current woman working here has been here for the past thirty years and is well past retirement, but never leaves because the school board can never find someone to replace her. So when I found out you were a kid whisperer, I figured you may be perfect for the job?”
I stare at her in disbelief for a moment. Wow. I never had someone offer me a job out of the blue without really knowing me, let alone knowing if I am as good as others say I am.
“Umm—” I have no idea what to say and I know she has to go soon, but I have no idea if I am ready to go back to work yet. It’s been almost a year, but I am so stuck in my own head, I don’t think I am the best for the job, even if I miss it like crazy.
Lainey shakes her head and digs in her pocket, grabbing her phone, “Don’t answer now. The school board doesn’t need to know until the end of the year, since that is when Mrs. Lisa is leaving for good. I just know in situations like—-” She slams her hand over her mouth and her eyes go wide.
“Crap! I’m so sorry! I mean nothing by it. It’s just that I’ve been through everything with my cousin, Addy, and have been around Resilience for years that I know to never drop something on someone who has gone through hell.”
I stare at her, my eyes wide, my cheeks turning red. I know she is rambling and I know she has firsthand knowledge of what happens to people that need Resilience, but I am not in the space to accept that I am one of those people yet.
One thing is for sure, though, I will not let this poor girl practically flail in front of me when she is trying to be nice. “Lainey. It’s okay. I get it. I’ve been hanging around Landon enough to understand that what happens around him and Resilience is nothing short of dark and complicated.”
Her shoulders deflate, and she flashes me a smile. “Sorry. I ramble when I get nervous. I swear I am usually not this big of a hot mess. Just ask Noah and Leo. I am the most relaxed out of all of us, and that’s saying something because Leo has to knock Noah’s crazy butt down a peg or two daily.” I laugh and she continues. “Rambling. Sorry. Anyway, if it’s okay with you, I’d love to exchange numbers and we can discuss this later?”
Not wanting to be a jerk, I pull my phone out and we exchange number. She says goodbye and just as she starts to walk away I say, “I don’t think I’m ready, but I’ll think about it. Thank you for thinking of me. It means more than you will ever know.”
Lainey smiles, “Of course. And not for nothing, but you are stronger than you think Allie. Whether you say yes now or three years from now, just know that any place would be lucky to have a badass like you taking care of their kiddos. Don’t be a stranger! I am staying at the apartment above The Handle. When you’re ready, you should really join the girls and I for girls’ night. No pressure though.”
I nod. “I’ll think about it, but thank you for the invite. Maybe one day.”
We both wave goodbye and I make my way back towards the house.
Just as I turn onto Main St, Logan walks out of The Needle. Our eyes lock and this time I don’t act like I didn’t see her or run away. Instead, I stand there as our eyes lock across the street.
I have no idea how long we stand there, but as the seconds pass, I realize for the first time in months, my brain isn’t screaming at me to run away or scream at her for being the reason I lost everything.
Raising my hand, I wave and give her a small smile.
Her shoulders deflate, and she waves back.
Part of me wants to run across the street and hug her because I miss her so freaking much, but I don’t. I can’t. I’m not ready and I think she can tell because she doesn’t take a step off the curb. She just stands there and waits for me to make the next move.
Tears fill my eyes at the mental gymnastics my mind is going through.
She is the reason.
No. He is.
My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I welcome the distraction.
Landon : You. My shower. 10 minutes.
I chuckle and type back.
Allie : Wow. Romantic much?
Landon : Sorry. Please have your ass in my shower in 10 so I can make you forget your name and everything else.
Allie : Running, make it twenty.
Landon : Perfect. I like you all sweaty.
Allie : Gross. We really need to work on your pickup lines.
Landon : See you soon Allie Girl.
Shaking my head, I zip my phone back into my pocket and return my gaze to Logan, who is standing there, looking confused.
Shit. Panic rises and I know I’m not ready for this yet, but I don’t want to blow her off again like last time.
Locking eyes with her, I hold up the “I love you” sign in sign language and smile.
Logan chuckles and swipes a tear off her cheek before returning the gesture.
We both stand there for a moment longer before I wave goodbye and start running towards Landon’s.
My head is feeling lighter than it has in months and I know I only have one person to thank for it.
“Your mattress comes in a few days.” Landon says as he pulls back the covers and climbs into his bed.
He adjusts the pillows to lean against the headboard and grabs his laptop off the nightstand.
“Do you want me to go into the guest room so you can work?”
Landon looks down at me snuggled in the bed. I threw on one of his t-shirts after he fucked me in the shower and twice on the bed before I passed out. And when we woke up hours later, we did it all over again.
“You know how I always promised to be honest with you?” he asks.
I nod.
“Well, I am being honest when I tell you that was the dumbest question you could ever ask. Why the hell would I want you to leave so I could work?”
I shrug, surprised by his slight annoyance.
“I am addicted to you Allie. Not like the fire that runs through my veins. Like the silence that comes when I am in your presence or I just simply touch you. You are my drug and I know it’s selfish and the farthest thing from healthy, but I don’t care. One hit of you and my mind clears.”
He doesn’t give me time to think before he places a gentle kiss on my lips and then forehead before returning to his computer.
I watch as he sits shirtless and types a mile a minute while glaring at the screen before muttering, “Dammit.”
My eyes bounce between the screen and his face. “Everything okay?” I ask.
Landon lets out a frustrated breath. “Yeah. Do you remember how I explained the levels of Resilience?”
I nod.
He scrubs his hand down his face and reaches into his nightstand to grab black-rimmed glasses and I am not ashamed to admit that my stomach just flipped a million times.
Tapping the screen, I focus back on the computer and try to hide my red cheeks.
Missing Person Priority Level 1:
Mission ID #: 75628
Sutton Prescott
Age 31
Last Known Location: Calgary, Canada
Date Reported Missing: 05/08/23
Threat Level: Yellow
Team Activated: Braveheart
Team Lead: Aries
Team Assist: Savior
Team Lead: Lachlan
Need for Team Blackbird: Requested
Team Lead: Landon
Notes: Team Blackbird needed. Anonymous tip sent in detailing the severity of injuries to victim. Immediate assistance is needed. All members of Team Blackbird needed.
Landon’s fingers fly on the keyboard as he messages his brothers and various other people. His brows are furrowed, and he occasionally lets out an annoyed sigh, or dammit.
As the minutes pass, I realize that all of this means he is probably going to be leaving soon and my stomach sinks.
“Sorry. Anytime we get a critical upgrade, chaos ensues trying to get everyone together and travel plans arranged. This one is very chaotic since it’s out of the country and everyone but me has jobs outside of Resilience.”
“It’s okay. When do you have to go?”
Landon types a series of messages before shutting his laptop, turns off the lamp and sinks down to lie next to me, pulling me to his chest, wrapping his arms around me.
“Tomorrow. I have no idea when I’ll be back, but I will keep you updated.”
I nod against his chest.
“Stay here while I’m gone. Your new mattress will be here before I get back, but it will drive me insane if you get hurt while I’m not here to help you.”
I go to speak, but he interrupts me by hugging me close. “Please Allie Girl. My mind will be at ease if I know you are warm and safe. Please.”
Dammit this man. How the hell am I supposed to say no to him when he says it like that?
“Fine.”
“Thank you. Now I’m going to be gone for a few days, so let me get my fix.”
“Wait what?”
The words barely leave my mouth before Landon is flipping on top of me and his lips are slamming against mine.