Chapter Forty-Nine
Allie
“Is it weird that I am feeling nervous?” Logan asks as we pull into the parking lot of the coffee shop.
Shrugging, I take my phone out of the cupholder, but pause before unlocking it to glance at Lo. “No? I don’t think so? Maybe?”
“See! I almost shit my pants seeing you for the first time in person. I haven’t seen him in like four or five years. Is he the same goofy, carefree guy from when we were in college?”
“Yeah. I think so. It’s Harrison, not Taylor Swift, Lo.”
“I know. I think I’m still getting used to the fact that he cannot hurt me or the ones I care about anymore, so there is no need to hide the people I care about, past or present.” She looks out the window and moves her long brown hair to cover her face.
“I understand, Lo. I’m sure both of our therapists say this, but it’s time to live in the present and stop letting our past control our future. This is just one step,” I say, touching her arm and she turns her attention back to me.
“You and those damn Hayes brothers have a way with words. Sometimes I hate how right you all are,” she says matter-of-factly.
“Yep, but I’m the best. Landon knows it. Grayson will find out soon if he hasn’t already,” I say, chuckling, and turning my focus to my phone.
I take a moment to stare at my lock screen, which is a sleeping shirtless Landon with Raven and Shadow snuggled on his chest.
Tattoos, kittens, and a man that knows me better than I know myself all in one place? How could I not stare at that all day?
Not wanting to look away, but also knowing that Harrison will be here soon, I swipe up to see that Landon texted me.
Landon : Have fun. Let me know when you get there.
Allie : Made it.
Landon : Good. Come to The Needle when you’re done?
Looking up from my phone, I see Logan texting Grayson and show her my screen and she nods before going back to text her fiancé.
Allie : Yeah. Miss me so much that you needed to go hang out with your brother to distract yourself?
Landon : I will always miss you, sweetheart. But no, when you made plans with Lo and Harrison, I asked Gray if he had time. It’s been a while since I got something new.
Allie : Aww. I will see you soon. Where are you getting this new tattoo?
Landon : My chest.
Fuck.
Allie : Thats hot.
Not even five seconds pass after my text shows delivered, my phone is rining with a video call.
Landon Facetime
Landon’s face fills the screen and Logan leans over, but quickly moves away.
“Eww! Put some clothes on Landon.”
Landon turns the phone to face Grayson, who’s dipping his tattoo machine into black ink.
“Hey Pretty Girl.”
“Hi Bear!”
Landon turns the phone back to him, and I stare into his deep blues.
“So, are you going to tell me what you are getting? Or is this going to be some twisted guessing game?”
He moves his phone down, but at the last second, flips it back up to his face with a devious smirk on his face.
“Asshole,” I say, trying to hide the smirk on my face but failing.
Proving that he is a pain in the ass but also my missing link that I refuse to live without, he winks and says, “See you later, Bluebird. Have fun. Text me when you are on your way back.”
“I’ll think about it.”
His eyes narrow at me and I blow a kiss at the phone. “Bye. Don’t be too mean to him, Grayson. I don’t want to be kissing his boo-boos all night.”
Grayson laughs in the background and Landon stares straight into my soul with a sexy as hell grin on his face. “Oh, you will be kissing something tonight, but not my chest.”
My mouth drops open. Holy crap. He just said that in front of his brother and my best friend. I should feel embarrassed, but I don’t. I’m just shocked. That man has a dirty as sin mouth behind closed doors, but never in a public setting.
“God dammit Landon. Keep that shit to yourself. Noah is bad enough. I don’t need to hear it from you too,” Grayson says, causing all of us to burst out laughing.
“We really need to work on those pickup lines, babe.” I try to break the heated tension between us, but Landon knows he did something to me by the simple raise of his eyebrows.
“Whatever you say, sweetheart. We will see who loses that battle later. Now go.”
We say our final goodbyes and I slump back into the seat, only to be distracted by Logan’s heated stare.
Turning to her, “May I help you?”
Logan shakes her head and pulls her crossbody purse over her body, “Oh nothing, just loving the fact that I am not the only one who’s been sucked into the intoxicating vortex that is the Hayes men.”
“Happy to be here.” We get out of the car and head into the coffee shop, big smiles on both of our faces.
“My girls!!!” Harrison exclaims as soon as we step onto the second floor of the cafe that doubles as a bookstore.
He jumps up from his seat, pulls us both into a group hug and I am shocked at the sight of him.
Harrison looks completely different from the last time I saw him. His entire body looks like he could be an Olympic swimmer doubling as a night shift ER nurse. Gone is the smaller man that only worked day shift and drank Martinis on the beach and here stands a man that could knock you out in one punch, but also still only sleeps two days a week judging by the dark circles under his eyes.
“I am so excited to see both of you! Tell me your coffee orders and take a seat! Today is on me and don’t even try to argue because I will win!”
Logan and I glance at each other for a moment before telling the still very hyperactive Harrison our orders as we take our seats in the chairs surrounding a small table that looks out at Washington Lake.
“Well, that was unexpected,” Logan says, adjusting her Sleep Token tee beneath her black cardigan.
“Yeah. I wouldn’t have recognized him if it wasn’t for the same surfer boy haircut and puppy dog energy.”
Chuckling, she nods her head in agreement. “Yeah, that’s for sure, but I’m happy to see him. I’ve really missed all three of us hanging out. It was one of the few things that kept me going in nursing school.”
“Me too. It was never the same after you moved away, but it was still a blast when he would meet Mom, Dad, and I at the beach house.”
Logan’s face drops at the mention of my parents and I immediately know what she’s feeling, because I feel it, too.
“It’s okay to say that you miss them, Lo.”
She avoids my gaze, nods, and stares out the window at the water. I allow her to have a moment of peace before Harrison returns because I’m sure they’ll come up again today. Landon stayed up with me for two hours after I had a panic attack, which ended in an emergency meeting with Dr. Kim to prepare me for the hard conversations that are bound to come up today.
“Sorry ladies, the line was almost out the door. This place must be popular!” Harrison exclaims while passing out our coffees and taking a seat on the open chair.
“Thank you. Caffeine is much needed right now,” Lo says, taking a large sip of her steaming coffee and sinking into the chair.
“That’s right! You work around here, right?” Harrison asks, draping his gray coat over his legs. “Sorry, it’s freezing here compared to Florida.”
“Yep. Over at Mount Rainier Medical Center in the ER. I don’t think my body is used to being back yet, even though it’s been a few months.”
“Oh my gosh! Did you have a baby?!” Harrison exclaims.
Logan snorts coffee out her nose and I can’t contain my laughter.
“Hell no! I mean one day, yes, but now is not the right time. I want to look hot as hell in my dress at my wedding and to do that, I need to finish my sleeve.”
“Oh, that’s right. You really need to get on social media so I can keep up.”
“I have one. I just haven’t made it public. Old habits.”
“Well, I’m dying to hear about the man that swept the always secretive Logan Sawyer off her feet,” Harrison says over the rim of his mug.
Grabbing her phone from her lap, Logan taps the screen and shows Harrison her home screen. A picture of her, Gray, and Willow are standing near their infamous waterfall.
Harrison’s eyes go wide. “Damn girl. Is that what has been hiding up here all this time? I should have come sooner. I want a mountain man with a beard and tattoos that I can climb like a tree.”
We all laugh and Logan drops her phone back in her lap and nods towards me as she says, “Maybe Al will share. She’s dating Grayson’s older brother.”
I narrow my eyes at her, and she winks at me. Brat.
I am just about to say something when Harrison’s head snaps towards me. “What?! Since when!”
“It’s complicated.”
Harrison gives me a questioning look. “Al. I haven’t seen you in so long. Tell me everything.”
Sighing, I rest my coffee on the arm of the chair and show Harrison the photo of Landon on my home screen, since I know he is going to ask.
“Damn. I really need to make the move official. Any chance they have another brother that swings my way?”
“Wes is straight but terrifying and hasn’t dated anyone for years. Pretty sure he is celibate. But then there is Noah, and that boy is a wild card. He loves anyone and everyone.”
“Hmm. Good to know. Anyway, Miss Al. Explain.”
“You already know what happened with Mom and Dad, so I won’t get into that.”
He doesn’t and he will never know because if I can protect someone else from feeling the level of pain I did, I will.
“But some stuff happened before they died. I moved up here to be close to Logan, then met Landon. It was a rough road to healing, but along the way, Landon and I became friends. Long story short, it all blew up in our faces. I went to rehab for a bit to learn how to stand alone again and he had some things to take care of as well. We didn’t see each other for about six months and then had to decide if we were better as friends or try it as a couple. And who could resist a man in tattoos, who saves two void kittens, so here we are.”
Harrison stares at me, wide eyed.
“Told you it was complicated,” I say, taking a sip of my coffee.
“It certainly sounds like it.”
We all sit in a comfortable silence until Harrison looks to me with tears in his eyes. “Um. I really don’t want to ask and I can’t even imagine what the past year has been like, but is there a place of memorial for them? I would love to pay my respects.”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I can do this.
It is not your fault. One day, when you are settled for good, you will have a place for them. They are always with you. You do not need their bodies near to have them close.
My hand goes to the necklace and I move the pendants back and forth along the chain.
I can do this. It’s just Harrison. He is not judging you.
“No. Not yet. I wanted my mind to be right and to settle on a permanent living situation first before settling their memorials and assets. Sorry.” My voice cracks a little, but I let out a sigh of relief as I make it through the words I feel so guilty saying out loud.
Harrison leans forward and reaches for my hand. “Do not apologize. I just wanted to pay my respects to Shep and Stella. If you need help or if there is anything I can do, please let me, but know there is no rush. Healing doesn’t happen overnight and you can take all the time you need.”
Brushing a tear, that has the audacity to escape, away, I squeeze his hand once before letting go. “Dammit Harry. I missed you.”
“Missed you too Al. Both of you.” Harrison says, glancing at Logan who swipes at her face.
“Damn. We made Lolo cry. Clearly, we are all in need of sleep and maybe a drink.” Harrison says, chuckling and sitting back in his seat.
“Agreed. I won’t tell Lan that you made Allie cry. He will not be a happy robot,” Logan says, and I shake my head.
“Says the girl with a fiancé that would snap a traffic sign in half, even if she was the one that ran into it.”
“Hey!” Logan gasps.
Harrison and I both look to her and wait for her to continue, but she furrows her brows and looks up to the sky for a moment before shrugging. “You’re right, but jokes on you. I wouldn’t let him because if he fucked up those magic hands and couldn’t—”
“Okayyy. Public place Lo. There are children around,” I exclaim.
“What? I was going to say if he messed up his hands and couldn’t tattoo anymore, that it would be so sad.”
“Sureeeee Lolo. Now why don’t you two tell me more about how I can get a job up here to find a mountain man I can climb like a tree? I will gladly ditch my surfboard for snowshoes if that means I can have the look that Allie has on her face when thinking about Landon every day.”
We all laugh and everything fades away.
Crazy to think by just surrounding yourself with people that you love and you know care for you deeply changes things.
I am far from healed, but this version of myself is one I am starting to really like.
Landon
Ding.
Gray’s head pops up and we both look towards the front door of The Needle opening and our girls walking in, followed by who I assume is Harrison.
“Hi Lo. Hi Allie. It’s good to finally put a face to a name!” Cassie says as she moves around the front desk to hug the girls.
They all stand there for a moment, chatting and introducing Harrison before making their way back to us. Logan going on Grayson’s side of the table and Allie on the other side.
“Hey Bluebird.”
“Hi,” she says, leaning down to press a kiss to my lips.
I am about to say something to Harrison, but I notice Allie’s eyes are locked on my chest.
Her eyes shine, and a smile spreads across her face.
Etched in black are two hands locked in a pinky promise sitting at the base of a diamond filled with a scene depicting a large wave cresting with sun shining high in the sky.
I know there are a million and one words she wants to say, but cannot find which one to say first. So instead of waiting for her to choose, I reach out my hand and loop my pinky through hers.
Her eyes snap to mine and she whispers, “You’re mean.”
Fucking adorable.
I chuckle. “Damn. That wasn’t what I expected you to say first, but I’ll take it.”
Shaking her head, she says, “Oh, I have many things to say, but they are not appropriate for a public place. Unlike you, I know when and where to say them.”
Brat.
Untangling my finger from hers, I motion for her to come closer, and she does.
In a low whisper, my lips brush against her ear as I say, “Sweetheart, the hunger I just saw in your eyes when you caught sight of me permanently marking my body in honor of you showed your cards. So stop with the sass or it will be a longgg night of just me reaping the benefits of this little game you are playing.”
A gasp falls from her lips and she tries to mask her obvious arousal, but it’s pointless because everyone in here can see the heat in her cheeks and the way she is gripping the table in frustration.
“You’re an ass,” she says through gritted teeth as she stands back up.
“Mhmm,” I say, wrapping my arm around her waist and pulling her close.
I finally understand Grayson’s need to constantly be touching Logan. Finding your person feels like seeing sunshine after a hurricane. You desperately want to bask in the beauty for as long as you can and never let go of that feeling of warmth and safety.
“Sorry, he didn’t tell me what he was getting, so it was a shock,” Allie says, grabbing Harrison’s attention from Gray and Logan.
“Harrison, this is my boyfriend, Landon. Landon, this is Harrison, mine and Lo’s friend from college.”
My heart threatens to beat out my chest at Allie introducing me as her boyfriend. Never in my life would I have thought this would be our outcome, but I am so freaking happy it is.
Unwrapping my arms from Allie’s waist, I hold out my hand to shake Harrison’s hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m the boyfriend.”
His hand grips mine. “Nice to meet you. Damn, the girls weren’t kidding. Y’all are gorgeous. I really need to make this move permanent. Any chance there is a gay bar or something close by so I can find me a sexy mountain man covered in tattoos?”
Chuckling, I rest my hand on Allie’s hip, my thumb slipping under her sweater, brushing back and forth. “Thanks. I am not the person to ask for the best spots to go in terms of bars, but I know there is a club in downtown Seattle that Leo and a few of my friends frequent.”
Harrison looks to Allie in confusion and she explains, “Leo is going to school to be a nurse practitioner. He’s doing his clinicals at the hospital where Logan and her friend Harper work. He is also a bartender at the bar across the street, which their youngest brother Noah owns.”
“Gotcha! I will definitely check it out! I’m just excited to be here and back with the girls. I’ve missed them so much,” he says, a genuine smile on his face.
“We are so happy to have you here, Harrison. It’s nice having a little piece of Alabama up here in the land of trees,” Allie says, a big smile on her face.
I am so happy to see her thriving and as much as I hate the idea of another man taking her attention away from me, because let’s face it, I want all of her attention twenty-four seven and I am not ashamed to admit it. Nothing matters more than seeing her walk closer toward the place she is striving to be.