Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Christian
True to his word, Taylor waits for me in the parking lot after work.
A cigarette hangs from his mouth, and when he spots us approaching, he leans down to put it out on my tire. “Let's get this shit over with. I've got places to be.”
“Oh, yeah?” I let out a slow breath and toss Devon my leather jacket. “Like at home with your stepbrother?”
“Yeah, asshole.” He rolls his shoulders before raising his fists. “You could come over too if you'd stop being a salty bitch.”
We start to circle each other slowly. “Funny, cuz I thought you were the one being a bitch.”
“Your face looks like a bitch.”
Devon snorts as he tugs my jacket on. “You guys flirting or fighting?”
Taylor flips him off, not breaking eye contact. “Stay in your lane, fucker.”
I lunge at my best friend without warning, but he dodges and hooks an arm around my neck, putting me in a sleeper hold. My elbow connects with his rib as I fight against him, trying to free myself.
“Tap out,” he grunts against my ear. “Tap, you dick.”
“Fuck you.” Grabbing his waist, I lift just enough to throw him off balance. We hit the asphalt hard, but it doesn't slow Tay down in the slightest.
He twists out of my hold effortlessly and plants a knee on my chest. “Say sorry!”
“For what?” I wheeze, wrestling to get out from under him.
“For ditching me on my birthday, motherfucker.”
I shove him to the ground before jumping to my feet. “I didn't ditch you! I had to go get Devon out of jail.”
“Pretty sure Logan had that handled,” Dev mutters under his breath.
I point at him without looking. “Shut the fuck up. No one asked you.”
Taylor leaps upright and charges me again. We end up locked in another tangle, both of us panting like dogs.
“First birthday ever we didn't go riding. What the hell, man?” He headbutts me lightly, not enough to cause any real damage. “I miss your dumb ass.”
“Then why'd you leave me?” I shoot back.
He freezes, only to push me away. “You could’ve just said that you've been sad, asshole.”
“I’m not soft like you.”
“Eat ass.”
We come to an impasse and simply glare at each other, breathing hard.
Taylor's jaw tightens. “What'd you think was gonna happen, man? Huck and I would just live in that little apartment with you, Logan, and Owen forever?”
My mouth opens, but nothing comes out at first, because I guess I…
I didn’t think. I just assumed things would stay the same because that’s what I wanted.
My crew, my people. My constants. “You all left at once,” I snap, curling my fists.
“First Arya, then Salem. Then you. Everyone's fucking leaving me.”
He huffs and shakes his head. “We just got our own stuff going on, dude. We’re not kids anymore.”
“I know—” I start, but he cuts me off with a sharp bark of laughter.
“Do you?”
Gritting my teeth, I cross my arms over my chest. “Yeah. I do. You all got more important shit than me. I know. No one needs me anymore.”
“That's not it, asshole.” He plants his palms on my chest before shoving me backward.
“You're my best fucking friend in the entire world.
Closest thing I have to a brother. You will always be important to me, but Huck and I need our own space.
It's just part of growing up. Logan and Owen are apartment hunting, too.”
“What? Why the fuck didn't they tell me?”
He raises his brow, a gesture that reminds me so much of his boyfriend. “Probably because you act like this instead of using your words?”
“I use my words,” I mumble like a whiny shit.
“No you fucking don’t. You either fight about it or fuck about it and then stuff the rest way down.”
Devon snorts behind us, and I whirl on him. “Keep laughing, asshole. I’ll fight you next.”
“I’d prefer the fucking,” he quips with a smirk.
My dick twitches at that, but I ignore it. “In your dreams, maybe.”
“Look, man…” Taylor steps forward, redirecting my attention. “None of us are abandoning you. We’re just… building our own lives. It doesn’t mean you’re not part of them.”
Suddenly feeling defeated, I sigh heavily. “I know, carino. I know. I'm just… a lot's been going on.”
“Like what?” He frowns, tilting his head. I study his face as I contemplate how to tell him that our entire business is in trouble. Fuck, I should have said something sooner, but I'm a dumbass.
What if this is it? What if telling him how I royally fucked us over is the tipping point where he leaves me behind for good?
Scrubbing a hand over my face, I bite the inside of my cheek silently.
“Christian,” Taylor presses. “Just tell me.”
A shaky exhale leaves my lungs. “TOT is nearly broke.”
He blinks, caught off guard. “What do you mean broke? Broke how?”
“As in,” I grit out, “the account’s almost empty. I used five thousand dollars to…” My eyes dart over to Dev, too quick for Taylor to notice. “...Win a bet. I lost.”
Don't ask me why, but spilling Devon's secrets just doesn’t sit right with me.
The color drains from Taylor’s face. “You… you gambled away our company money?”
“I know, okay? I know it was dumb. I know I should’ve told you. I know I shouldn’t have touched the fucking account.”
“Christian, why didn’t you call me?”
“I don’t know!” The words rip out of me as I push both hands through my hair. “Because I was trying to fix it myself? Because I fucked up and I was…”
Devon moves behind me, his attention like a spotlight, so I whisper the last part in Spanish.
I was scared you'd hate me.
Tay's expression softens, though he still looks seconds away from throwing up. “Dude. How could you think that?”
“Because I didn’t want you to see me like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. You’ve always been the reckless one. I’m supposed to keep our shit together.”
He scoffs at that. “Says who?”
“Everyone!” I explode, immediately regretting my outburst when Taylor flinches at the volume of my voice. “Every time you crashed, I picked you up. Every time someone got into trouble, I handled shit. You, our friends, my siblings. That’s how it’s always been.”
My best friend goes completely still. “So you thought the solution was to go through this alone?”
“I thought if I fixed things fast enough, you’d never know.”
He shakes his head slowly. “Christian…”
“I needed you to trust me still, because if you stop doing that… then what the hell am I?” The words burn like acid on my tongue. “What good am I to everyone if I lose my shit?”
Taylor steps closer to grip my shoulders tightly. “You’re still you,” he says in a soft voice. “You’re just human, and sometimes humans break down.”
“I don’t want to be human then,” I mutter.
“Too bad,” he snorts. “Everyone runs into something they can't muscle through. It's just your turn.”
“I didn’t want to disappoint you by being…”
“Weak?” His expression cracks just a little. “Dude. You'd only disappoint me if you never gave me the chance to help you fix this like you've done for me.”
“How? I feel like I fucked us up for good, Tay.”
“We'll fix it,” he says again, more firmly. “We always figure shit out, yeah?”
A broken laugh bursts out of me. “I don't know what to do.”
“Hey. Look at me.”
I meet his gaze reluctantly. Part of me wishes I could just… hug him. Lay my head on his shoulder and cry, but that'd be weird for homies to do. Probably. I mean, he's seen me come, but letting him see me cry is where I draw the line.
“Salem will be home next week,” he explains. “It’s time we had a company meeting anyway. She and Logan can help us figure out our shit, okay?”
“Yeah, maybe, but—”
“No buts. We'll strategize and come up with something. Everything will work out. Say it.”
My throat tightens all over again. “Everything will work out.”
“Louder.”
Glaring, I repeat myself. “Everything will work out.”
“There we go. Knew you had it in you.”
With a scoff, I shove him away, but he doesn't go far. For the first time since I opened my big mouth inside Arnie’s, I feel like I can breathe—at least for right now. The thought of Logan moving out and leaving me alone terrifies me, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.
Taylor exhales slowly. “So, we good now?”
“Yeah. We're good.”
“You done being a dick?”
My lips quirk. “No promises, but… thanks, carino.”
“Don’t thank me yet. Salem's gonna tear you a new asshole.”
I toss my head back with a groan. “Fuck, she's gonna murder me.”
“Worse. She's gonna give you a lecture.”
“I'd rather die.”
Taylor laughs before giving my shoulder one last squeeze. “Go home, man. Shower, smoke a blunt. Stop picking fights with people who love you.”
“Gross,” I mutter.
“Say it back.”
“Fuck off.”
“Close enough.” Grinning, he turns to head toward his truck. I watch him get in, wave as he pulls out of the parking lot, and only when his headlights disappear around the corner do I look at Devon.
He's already watching me closely, and the sight of him dressed in my jacket settles something inside of me, as wild as that sounds. Even though it shouldn't.
“You okay?” he asks softly.
My mouth twists into a grimace. “Don’t start. I can't handle more touchy-feely bullshit.”
“I didn’t know you were going through all that, hot shot.”
Yeah. No shit.
“That’s because it’s none of your fucking business.” Spinning on my heel, I pull out a smoke and march toward my Bronco. “Get in before I leave your ass.”
He follows silently, which somehow pisses me off more than if he’d kept running his mouth. A quiet Devon is dangerous. A quiet Devon means he’s thinking, and I don’t want him thinking about me. At least not like this. Vulnerable and lonely. Easy to hurt.
He already did that once, and I'm not giving him another chance to do it again.