Chapter 1
Charlotte
Present Day
“Welcome back,” Jesse says when I step into the hospital.
“Thank you. It’s great to be back.” I smile at her and hold my leg in the air, flexing my foot and enjoying the freedom of not having any cast on it. My foot has fully healed, and I can resume all normal duties of my job.
“How long has it been?”
“Six months. I’m running behind, so I’ll talk to you later, Jesse.” I wave as I pass by her.
“Good to have you back, Charlotte.”
I nod.
I’m not running behind. It’s been a tough six months, and I don’t want to discuss it. I want to forget about it and move on with my life.
After the car accident I was in with Xander, my entire life shifted.
Xander.
My heart still aches when I think of him. No matter how much I’ve tried to forget about him, I can’t.
And I need to.
We only were together a few times. It shouldn’t be a big deal. He doesn’t remember me.
But it hurts.
Xander and I had a fire I had never experienced before. But it wasn’t just the sex. He’s funny, smart, and sexy. And we connected.
But he doesn’t remember you, and you need to get over him, I remind myself for the millionth time.
I only visited him once after the accident. He had woken up from his medically induced coma. My friends didn’t even tell me he was awake for several days, until I got discharged from the hospital.
“I need to tell you something,” Piper gently said.
My gut dropped. It’s like I knew bad news was coming. “What’s that?”
Piper took a deep breath and shifted nervously on her feet. “It’s about Xander.”
My pulse increased. “Is he okay?”
Piper nodded. “Yes. He isn’t in any danger.”
“Okay...”
“He’s been awake for several days.”
My head almost snapped off my neck. “Why have you been lying to me?”
Piper took a deep breath. “He doesn’t remember the last twelve years.”
I tilted my head at her, confused. “What do you mean, he remembers nothing?”
She shook her head. “He thinks he’s twenty-two and still dating his ex-girlfriend Billie.”
No, he will remember me when he sees me.
I was wrong. Dead wrong.
When I went into Xander’s room, he stared at me like a stranger. He gave me a polite smile and said, “I’m sorry, but I just don’t remember you.”
Piper, Quinn, and Vivian all insisted it probably was the medicine they still had him on and I should try again.
But I knew better. I saw it in his eyes.
He didn’t remember me. And each time they suggested I try again, I asked if he still thought he was in love with Billie.
They couldn’t deny it, so I stayed away.
For the next several months, I recovered at Piper and Noah’s place in New York. At first, they would ask me if I wanted to visit Xander with them, but I refused. I told Piper to stop updating me or mentioning his name. It was just too painful.
Unfortunately, I kept hearing their hushed conversations about how he was obsessed with finding his ex-girlfriend, Billie. How he kept telling Noah he loved her and wouldn’t rest until he found her.
So, I’ve never seen him again. As soon as I could take care of myself, I moved back to Chicago.
My cast made it impossible for me to do all the duties of my job. I had to stay off my foot, which didn’t allow me to be in the surgeries with the doctors and advise them on which medical devices they need to use for the operations.
Today is a new day, I tell myself, smiling as I walk down the hall and get into the elevator.
I love what I do, and I’m happy to be back. In the last few months, I’ve had too much time to sit and obsess over Xander and what could have been. I’m ready to immerse myself in my job and forget about whatever I thought we had.
The elevator stops, and I step off. I go into the locker room so I can get my scrubs on and prepare for my first surgery of the day. I open the door and run into my ex-boyfriend, Damon, who is also a medical device representative.
“Charlotte.” He shifts on his feet and stands straighter. “How are you feeling?”
I smile. “Good. Fully recovered. Ready to get back to normal life.”
He nods. “Well, looks like you’ll have a full day. The schedule is packed.”
“Sounds good to me. I’ve been bored out of my mind these last six months.”
Damon’s face hardens. “Yes, I remember you telling me.”
My face heats as I think of the last time I saw him. I wish for the millionth time I could erase that memory from my bank.
“Have a good first day back, Charlotte.”
I nod at him. “Thanks.”
He leaves, and I sigh. Damon and I were hot and heavy for a while, but we lost our heat and never got it back. I broke up with him the week before I met Xander, and we haven’t had the best history since I broke up with him. Then there was that one horrible night...
That wasn’t too bad. Could have been a lot worse.
I open my locker and throw my belongings in it. I get ready for my surgery, knot my hair into a bun, and add my cap over it. The schedule is on the wall, and I locate the room of my first surgery.
When I arrive in the operating room, there’s a team of people. I scrub my hands then move to the area where the nurse is putting gloves on anyone who will be participating in the surgery.
“Charlotte, you’re back.” Tabi grins at me.
“Yep. You’re stuck with me now,” I tease.
“Thank goodness. I’ve been in too many surgeries with Damon.”
“What’s wrong with Damon? He’s good at what he does.”
“He’s been such a grouch since you dumped him.”
I tilt my head and smirk at her. “Tabi, that was nine months ago. Surely he isn’t still grouchy over that?”
“Girl, he’s not been the same guy since you dumped him. I’m telling you—”
“Tabi, I think you’ve got better things to do than gossip?”
I turn.
“Charlotte! Good to have you back.” Dr. Sear’s eyes light up.
“Hey, Dr. Sear. How have you been?”
He nods. “Great. How’s your foot?”
I lift my leg and flex my foot again. “All better. Ready to stand on it all day and watch you cut some people open.”
He laughs. “I’m glad you’re back. It’s not been the same without you around here.”
I smile. “I’m glad I’m back, too. It’s been hard being away.”
“I bet.”
“So, who are we working with today?” I ask.
Dr. Sear points to a group of doctors already in their scrubs and standing around the patient who is being administered an IV of anesthesia. “The typical crew, except for one new surgeon who has come on board since you left. Come on over, and I’ll introduce you.”
Tabi puts surgical masks over my face and Dr. Sear’s. We walk over to the huddle of doctors.
“DeVoe! You’re back.” Dr. Wemer grins at me.
I give him a little salute. “In the flesh,” I joke.
“Glad to have you back.”
“Thought you left us for good. Nice to see you’re back.” Dr. Pinner gives me a fist bump in the air without touching my fist. “Glad to know you aren’t leaving us with Damon for the rest of our lives.”
I laugh. Apparently, Damon hasn’t made any friends.
“How did you date that guy for so long?” Dr. Wemer asks.
I roll my eyes and don’t answer his question. “It couldn’t have been that bad.”
“Don’t sell yourself short. You’ve been missed,” Dr. Pinner says.
I laugh. “Glad you didn’t forget about me during my recovery.”
“Charlotte! Rock, paper, scissors! One, two, three.” Dr. Croy holds his hand out in paper while I make scissors. “Damn it! I always lose!”
I throw my arm in the air in a victory pump. “Club Hip Hop Radio. All day.”
He groans.
I turn to meet the new doctor and my heart about stops in my chest. My smile falls. A surgical mask covers his face, but I know those eyes. They’ve haunted me over the last six months.
I seriously must have messed up in my past life. Whoever is in charge of karma hates me.
Dr. Sear says, “Charlotte, meet our newest surgeon, Dr. Xander Kane.”
“Dr. Kane, meet Charlotte DeVoe. She was in a bad car accident and her foot was reconstructed. She was out of work for the last six months, but it’s our lucky day because she’s back. Charlotte’s the best rep we have.” Dr. Sear beams at me then Xander.
Xander stares at me, and I stare back at him.
He’s only staring at you because this is uncomfortable and he doesn’t know what to say.
What do you expect him to say? She’s the girl I screwed several nights and got into the car accident with? Oh, but I don’t remember her and am obsessed over my ex-girlfriend who I haven’t been with in a decade?
Does he even know it’s me?
I recover quickly and nod at him. “It’s nice to meet you.”
He blinks then nods. “I’m glad to hear your foot is okay.”
“Thanks. Welcome to the hospital.” I turn to Dr. Croy so I don’t have to look at Xander. “Isn’t my music supposed to be on?”
Maybe my music will tune out my thoughts about Xander so I can get through this.
Dr. Croy groans and turns the channel on.
The anesthesiologist announces, “You’re good to start.”
I let out a breath. Just concentrate on the surgery and forget he’s here.
But I can’t. My pulse is beating against my throat and I want to run out of the room. I try to ignore him, but it’s impossible.
From time to time, we catch the other person staring. I wonder if he knows it is me or if he just thinks I’m some other girl named Charlotte who broke her foot.
The surgery is long. We are reconstructing several bones in the patient’s leg, and there has been excessive damage. It is scheduled to take four hours but ends up taking seven.
As luck has it, I spend almost the entire surgery next to Xander, as Dr. Sear instructs him to do a lot of the work I’m needed to advise on.
When I first approach, he freezes. It’s not something the other doctors would have noticed, but I do.
Does he know it’s me?
As quickly as his paralysis comes, it goes, and he soon is back into his routine of surgery.
Not only do I have to remain near him but talk to him and hand him different devices. And it’s clear to me he’s brilliant at what he does. He’s miles ahead of many surgeons I’ve worked with and another reminder he’s amazing but I can’t have him.
I spend seven hours with my heart beating way too fast, feeling the electrical buzz of him next to me, and trying to not get excited every time my name rolls off his tongue.
For six months I attempted to forget about his voice. It’s like a cruel joke the universe is playing on me, and I do my best to maintain my professionalism.
And every single time I see his bright brown eyes, my soul is crushed further.
As soon as the surgery is over, I leave the operating room and head to the locker room.
I need to get out of here.
I don’t realize it until I reach to unlock my locker, but I’m shaking. I’m having a hard time with the combination when I hear, “Charlotte.”
Closing my eyes, I breathe a few times, grab my hair cap, and pull it off. I don’t know why I pull it off right then, but I do.
I turn to Xander, blinking back the tears I wish weren’t there.