12. Lachlan #2
I should have come sooner. I should have burned the Santoro estate to the ground long before I really had the power to do it.
I should have saved her.
"Thanks, Dec." I end the call before he can say anything else, and I sit there in the dark office, staring at nothing.
Finally, I get up and walk to Adriana's room, knocking once before pushing the door open. She's sitting on the bed, her arms wrapped around herself, and she looks up when I come in. There's wariness in her eyes.
"We need to talk." I close the door behind me.
She doesn't move. "If this is about Matteo—"
"It's not." I cross the room and sit down in the chair by the window, keeping distance between us. I can see she needs it. "I talked to Declan Murphy. He told me what Gio did to you. All of it. I knew about the photos, but I didn't know how much more there was."
Her face goes pale, and I watch as she pulls her knees up to her chest, making herself smaller. "I don't want to talk about this."
"I know." My voice is rough, and I have to force the words out past the rage that's choking me. "But I need you to know that I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, Adriana. I should have come for you sooner. I should have—"
"You couldn't have known." She's not looking at me, her gaze fixed on the wall. "You were gone, building your life. You didn't know what was happening."
"I should have found out." I lean forward, my elbows on my knees.
"I should have checked on you, should have made sure you were okay.
Called Declan and tried to get information.
Instead, I was so focused on getting strong enough to come back that I didn't stop to think about what you were going through while I was gone.
I thought you'd be married off to someone, and there was nothing I could do about it, so I tried not to think about it.
I just focused on how I could be powerful enough to get you back. "
"It doesn't matter now." Her voice is flat. "It's over. I'm here. Matteo's here."
"It does matter. You're terrified of me.
You won't let me touch you, won't let me near you, and my son thinks I'm a monster.
I don't understand what's wrong between us now.
I don't blame you for any of this, Adriana, not even not telling me about Matteo—I understand now why you just walked out the other day.
I get that you had absolutely no way to try to find me.
But the way you look at me now—I would never hurt you, Adri. "
I see her flinch at the old nickname. "All I've ever wanted was you. For ten years. You're it. All of it. And I don't know why that's not enough."
She finally looks at me. "You want to know what's wrong between us? You want to know why I can't just fall into your arms and pretend like the last ten years didn't happen?"
"Yes! Of course I do."
"Because I don't know you anymore." Her voice breaks, and I can see tears starting to form in her eyes.
"The boy I loved was kind and gentle and asked every time he so much as ran a finger down my cheek.
The man sitting in front of me kills people and comes home with blood on his hands and locks me in my room at night.
You say you want to protect me, but all I see is another man who thinks he knows what's best for me.
Another violent man who takes whatever he wants, no matter the consequence. "
"There's a part of me that's still him," I say quietly. "Yes, I've had to do terrible things to get to the place where I could come and get you, Adri, but—"
"Stop calling me that."
I swallow hard. "You remember when I brought you those flowers?
I remembered walking through the garden with you and you pointing out your favorites, and I picked one of every kind and left them in front of your door.
It was stupid as fuck, because your father could have seen and asked you who left them, and the only reason it didn't come back on us was because your maid put them in the bedroom. But I didn't care."
She looks away. "We were both stupid back then."
"No, we were young. And we were way too naive, considering the world we were raised in.
But Adri… Adriana, I'm still that person.
And now I'm laying myself down at your door, because that's what I have to give you.
Everything, when back then all I could give you was flowers.
Now, I have power, and money, and connections, and everything that prevented me from taking you away back then. I want to give you all of it."
I get up slowly and walk around to face her, sinking down onto my knees on the floor in front of her. Her lips part on a small, indrawn breath.
"Lachlan…"
"I haven't touched another woman in ten years.
Not once. Not even when I thought I'd never see you again, not even when I was so lonely I could barely stand it.
Because none of them were you. None of them could ever be you.
The last woman I was with, the last woman I kissed or touched or tasted or made love to was you.
I haven't been with anyone else. I couldn't."
She stares at me, and I can see the disbelief in her eyes. "That's not possible."
"It's the truth." I want to reach for her, but I don't. I just stay there, kneeling in front of her, begging her with everything in me to see that I mean what I'm saying.
"I know you don't believe me. I know it sounds insane.
But I couldn't do it, Adriana. I couldn't be with someone else when all I wanted was you.
Every woman I met, every time someone tried to get close to me, all I could think about was you in that garden, the way you touched me, begged for me.
How much you loved me and I loved you. And I couldn't betray that. I couldn't betray you."
"Why?" Her voice is barely above a whisper. "Why would you do that to yourself?"
"Because I love you." I've never meant anything I've said more in my entire fucking life, and I see the pain on her face, the ache that mirrors what I'm feeling too.
"I've loved you since we were teenagers, since before I even knew what love was.
And that didn't stop when I left. It didn't stop when I thought I'd never see you again.
I love you, Adriana. I've always loved you. And I don't know how to stop."
Tears spill down her cheeks, and her hands fist on her thighs. She's wearing a long dress with thin straps at the shoulders, and the material bunches under her palms.
"You're all I've ever wanted since the moment I met you," I whisper. "It's destroying me that you keep pulling away from me, that you're so withdrawn it feels like I can't find you again even though you're right here."
She shakes her head. "I don't believe you," she whispers.
"No man would go ten years without sex. You're telling me…
you're telling me it's been nothing but you and your hand, for a decade?
That's bullshit." She wipes at her face with the back of her hand.
"Men don't do that. You're lying, to get me to—"
"I'm not." My jaw clenches. "I'll prove it to you."
She stares at me. "How?"
"If I've been fucking around for the last ten years like any other man, I wouldn't be on a hair trigger of coming every time I'm close to you.
But God, Adriana, I fucking am. I almost touched your pussy the other day, and I was going to come in my pants if I did.
" I move closer to her, close enough that I can reach out and spread her legs if I want to. "And if I tasted you…"
She stares at me. "What are you saying?"
"I'm going to prove it to you. Let me touch you, Adriana. Let me give you pleasure. No one's tasted you in ten years, right? Let me make you come. And it's going to make me come, too. I won't touch myself. It's all for you, just like everything these last ten years has been."
More tears spill down her lashes. But her hands loosen on her skirt, her breath coming quick and fast, and I know this is my moment.
This is the moment I show her just how much I've wanted her, and how I've never stopped.