Chapter 11 Ivan
IVAN
Luka demanded that I come to his house because of this. Because Raisa was here. She was here, in the flesh, within reach.
Seeing her again was a blast to the past, a reminder of the history we shared and that I couldn’t let go of.
But it was the young boy standing behind her who shocked me the most.
More than the slap Raisa gave me as a greeting, the sight of this brown-haired boy was the sucker punch to the gut that I couldn’t breathe through.
Those medical records I’d found were wrong.
Raisa hadn’t lost a baby. She hadn’t lost my child.
He was alive. He stood right there, tilting his head like I did, showing the same dark-brown eyes that shone back at me whenever I looked at my reflection in a mirror.
My child—my son—was alive.
“You…” I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t think straight. All that filled my head was the sobering and shocking realization that I was a father. And she’d hidden my son from me for years.
There was no denying it. When Misha shifted his weight on his feet in the background, I volleyed my gaze back and forth.
They were so close in age that they looked like twins.
I saw the resemblance connecting me to this boy.
I dared her to deny that this boy was mine.
It was obvious and I wouldn’t let her try to dissuade me from that fact.
Luka cleared his throat, as if reminding us all that we were in his home, in his study, and subject to what he decided here.
“You asked why I allowed my guards to let you inside,” he said, standing and approaching the boy.
He didn’t flinch or cower, eyeing my uncle with confidence.
Ever so slightly, he stepped toward Raisa, as if to defend her against the clear antagonism and tension in the room.
“And it is because I was curious why you, a spitting image of my nephew, would show up at my door like this.” Luka raised his brows in a silent expectation for an answer.
It wasn’t like anyone had to guess or explain fucking anything.
This boy looked like me because I was his father.
“You hid my son from me?” That accusation wasn’t my finest reaction. But I couldn’t keep it in. It burst from me, blasted at Raisa with as much censure and restraint as I could summon. Shifting back and forth between shock, elation, annoyance, and anger, I wasn’t sure what to settle on.
I couldn’t believe she was here.
I couldn’t believe she had a child, my son.
I couldn’t believe she thought she had any right to breeze in here and just—
“All these years?” I vaguely noticed Gabriella stepping forward with Misha. Alexsei was there too, perhaps worried that Raisa and I would truly fight. They all fell to a blur of the background, because all I could focus on was her.
The woman I’d pined for, the one I’d missed. The one I wanted to have a chance of loving again, just not in my dreams.
She shoved her sleeves up, her gorgeous face pinched with fury. Looking like she was ready to jump on me and strangle me, she gave no sign of backing up or calming down. Nor did she look anywhere near ready to apologize for hiding this boy from me all this time.
“How dare you!” I laughed once, choking on the words, so incredulous that this was really happening. When I worried that she might be pregnant, I followed up. I hired someone to track her. I held in my own hands the report of her losing her pregnancy.
“Oh, I dared.” She tipped her chin up, defiant and bold as ever. “I dared to do what I had to in order to keep him safe.”
“You kept him from me! My own son.”
In the background, I saw how Misha put his arm around my son and urged him back from me and Raisa.
My son.
It just couldn’t sink into my brain yet. I was that stunned.
This boy had gone his whole life without my being a part of it!
“You cheated me out of being his father all this time—”
She stepped forward, her scowl deepening with ire.
“No! You cheated.” She wasn’t hesitating to throw that line at me.
“You were the one who cheated on me. You chose someone else. You chose a different future. Remember? Remember that day when you walked away, leaving me to find out you were with that woman that whole summer?”
“You are wrong,” I bit out hotly. Disappointed that she’d still believe that stupid story I’d fed her, I wanted to scream at her until the message sunk in and permeated now. “You are wrong. I faked that. It was all a goddamn lie.”
She sneered, shaking her head as she crossed her arms. “Don’t you dare try to gaslight me.
Don’t even think about telling me what to think or feel, Ivan.
I saw the tabloids. I heard your voicemail with her voice in the background.
You cheated on me and discarded me. You chose her instead of me. Instead of our son.”
“I didn’t even know about him!” I flung my arms up, struggling through the urge to punch something.
To exert physical energy in some fashion so I wouldn’t feel like I was electrified with a live wire from her sharing this revelation.
I stepped away, almost wishing I could pace to burn off this anger and shock, but I didn’t want to look away from her.
Not after I’d missed her all this time. Not when this surprise and anger were rolling through me like this, making my chest tight and my skin too confining.
“I didn’t—” I spun back to face her. Rubbing my hand over my face, I felt the lingering warmth from where she’d slapped me.
I wasn’t going to hit her. I would never.
But with all the eyes on us in this room, I had to have privacy.
She owed me answers, big ones, and I didn’t want an audience.
I couldn’t explain anything with everyone watching.
Until now, Luka hadn’t even known about her. He knew of her. He had been aware of my affair and how heartbroken I was back then. But I’d never told him that it was Raisa Petrov who’d messed me up.
“Come with me,” I ordered, grabbing her wrist to move her to another room.
She, of course, shot me a fiery scowl and wrenched her arm out of my reach. “I’m not going anywhere with—” Turning in a panic, she sought out our son.
Son. I have a son. It was too much to absorb. My pulse skyrocketed every time I tried it out in my mind.
I have a son!
Gabriella stood near the door, almost protective of both Misha and my son. Alexsei stood with them, ready to handle them and watch over them.
But it was Luka who spoke up. He approached, giving Raisa a stern look before making eye contact with me. “Correct. You aren’t going anywhere. You or the boy. Not until we have some answers.”
“You can’t tell me what to do,” she argued.
I grabbed her hand then, tugging her toward me. Ignoring the electric shock and tingle of awareness that came with touching her, I urged her out of the room.
“You will both be here until I say otherwise,” Luka declared. “I’ll let you have some privacy.” He directed that at me as I dragged Raisa out of the study with me. Even if he hadn’t said that, I would’ve done just this.
Luka probably didn’t trust having Raisa in his home, but he was generous enough to let me be the one to question her.
“I’ll watch over the boys,” Gabriella said, her voice reaching me past the thunder of my pulse in my ears.
“No. You will not—” Raisa protested, fighting my grip on her until she yanked her arm free. Stopping short, she glared at me, then Gabriella. At last, she faced our son. “Lev—”
“It’s okay, Mama.”
Another sucker punch.
He sounded so sure, so strong. Brave.
“I’ll stay with this boy and wait for you.”
Raisa hesitated, nodding once. But when she faced me again, she seemed ready to brush past me with a chilly anger.
“I’ll preoccupy the boys while the adults… talk,” Gabriella said, urging the boys out of the room. “How about a snack? Hmm?”
In the hallway, I grabbed Raisa’s hand again.
“Let go of me,” she growled, fighting my grip.
“There’s not a fucking chance in hell that’s happening,” I replied, hurrying her toward a guest room where she’d damn well tell me how she thought she could hide my son from me all this time.
I let her go once before.
And now that she’d stunned me by showing up out of the blue like this now, I wasn’t in the position to let her go ever again.