Chapter 24 Raisa
RAISA
When Lev asked Ivan if he would take him to school the next day, I couldn’t tell whether I was glad to have brought him here or not.
It was silly, petty, and selfish of me, but I couldn’t deny how much it hurt for my son to choose Ivan instead of me.
I wasn’t so emotional and nonsensical as to jump to any wild conclusions that Lev was replacing me.
I was still his mother. I was still the one he smiled so freely at, the one he ran to for a hug.
But there was also no denying how much he was getting attached to Ivan. And he should. He was his son. Yet, it hurt to hear him request Ivan… It stung to think of not being the most important person in his world.
More so, as I lay in bed and stared up at the ceiling, I realized how much this was forcing me to adapt like Lev was.
Each night that Ivan and I came together, pulled in this dance of desire we couldn’t stop or slow down, I had to seriously wonder how much longer I’d hold back. How much longer I could trick myself into believing there was no way I could love him again.
Because that was the last missing piece to our puzzle.
Lust was one matter. The chemistry between us wouldn’t expire.
If Lev was waiting to see us as a couple, as a partnership he could equally rely on, then I had to get over my misgivings and grudge to forgive Ivan once and for all.
I had to put it to rest that if it ever came down to it, Ivan would choose me and our son, and never walk away again.
I got up and mused at how drastically my life had changed—and for the better. Gone were the days of hurrying to get up, slave away for long hours at a job, then hustle home to be there to watch over Lev. All on my own. Forever watching every single penny to my name.
That hustle and grind was a thing of the past. If I could embrace being with Ivan for good, I wouldn’t ever have to stress financially again.
I could try to work on opening a women’s shelter like I’ve always dreamed of.
A pregnancy clinic, free for all.
Those were causes near and dear to me since that was how I’d handled my pregnancy on the run.
It was how I’d managed to give birth to Lev without any serious medical woes or complications.
If I could ever do anything right in my life, it would be to pay it back like that.
To give back to society in a way that had changed my own life and the life of my son.
After I dressed and exited my room, I wondered how I’d pass the long hours until Lev was home. Until Ivan was back, too. If this was what it was like to be a kept woman, or a woman of leisure, count me out. I needed something to do.
I didn’t expect a summons to come so quickly. Before I finished a cup of coffee, Allan, Luka’s personal assistant, approached.
“Mr. Dubinin would like to speak to you in his study.”
I paused with the cup at my lips. Going still, I let this news sink in. The moment had come. Luka was either frustrated with the slow speed of his men investigating and wanted to interrogate me himself or he had news that he wanted to expel me and my son from his home.
Stop. He’s not going to kick us out. He cares about Ivan so he’ll care about Lev.
As for me, though…
I lowered the cup. “Alrighty, then.” With a curt nod, I raised my brows. “Now?”
Allan nodded. “It is best not to keep the Boss waiting.”
Oh, I’m thoroughly familiar with making sure the big guy of the house doesn’t wait for an insignificant and lowly little woman.
“Mmm-hmm.” I smiled politely while feeling too icy inside to speak any further. Dipping my chin and holding my hand out as if to suggest I’d follow him right this instant, I tried to keep a lid on my attitude.
Since I ran from all that I once had, and since I cut ties with my overlord of a father, I lost all desire to bow to a man.
Being a single mother on the run fueled my independence and strengthened my sense of self-worth and feminism.
But Luka Dubinin was ultimately in charge of my son’s safety, though, so I could bend and keep my mouth shut about him ordering me around.
Don’t bite the hand that feeds.
It is what it is.
He’s in charge. So go get the “verdict” already.
When I found him in the study, I was pleased to discover that this wouldn’t be some kind of medieval interrogation, complete with torture tools or a dungeon.
In this darkly decorated room of masculine browns and mahogany furniture, Luka sat at the desk with a serious and no-nonsense expression.
On a loveseat was Gabriella with her baby.
Alexsei was there, too, seated in a chair.
With the way they’d all stopped laughing and smiling, interrupted by my arrival, it almost seemed like I was trespassing on a fun family meeting.
“Well, don’t mind me,” I quipped wryly.
“Come in,” Luka said, gesturing for me to take a seat in the chair directly across from him.
I sat and waited, unafraid but curious.
“I’d like to speak with you about what you expected from the Dubinin Family.”
That was a formal start. “Protection.” I stated it plainly, not changing my tune.
“I was attacked by two members of the Rivera family because they deemed me a weak link to your family. I know they mean that Lev is a link, as Ivan’s son.
It seemed fitting to expect my son’s father to provide protection. ”
“You mean to provide protection after you hid the fact that he existed for years?” Luka’s cool expression didn’t change.
I sighed. “I cut ties with everyone I knew when I learned I was pregnant with Lev. I cut ties with Ivan because it seemed that he’d moved on. We weren’t stupid. Once we learned of each other’s identities, we knew that you and my father would not approve.”
“To my understanding, that is also why Ivan broke things off with you,” Luka replied.
I opened my mouth and closed it. Perhaps it was becoming a bit of a broken record to insist that Ivan left me because he wanted another woman instead.
The longer I was here and the more I heard from everyone who mattered to Ivan, the more I was inclined to believe him.
That he’d lied about an affair just to make me hate him and so I’d cut ties with him. “Correct. That’s what he says.”
“And all you want is protection for your son?”
I nodded. If I wasn’t careful, I’d want the whole thing. A husband. Love. A home. A future. Peace. But all those seemed out of reach yet.
“You’re not here to collect intel?”
I rolled my eyes. “No. Who the hell would I send it to?”
He only stared at me, making me wonder what he wasn’t following up with.
“You’re not here for money?”
I smirked. “I’ve learned to scrape by on next to nothing for eight years on my own. You’re barking up the wrong tree if you want to look at me as some kind of a gold-digger.”
“It’s a valid question,” he replied. “You come from a wealthy background. You might be missing it.”
“Health is wealth. So long as I can see that my son’s well-being is secure, that’s all that matters now.”
He drummed his fingers on the desk, watching me.
If he was trying to intimidate me with that hard stare, he was wasting our time.
I grew up under the severe scrutiny of my father.
I knew how to play this game. Zone out. Stare ahead.
Look bored. And above all else, rely on sarcasm if I was expected to speak.
“What about the well-being of your father?”
“Well-being? I was under the impression he was dead.” I didn’t blink or flinch.
“You’re unaware whether he’s alive?” he pressed.
“I hope he’s dead.” That was a strong statement, but I didn’t stutter.
He pursed his lips and seemed contemplative for a long moment. “You haven’t reached out to anyone from the Petrov organization in all these years?”
I shook my head.
“Not even this number?” He slid a piece of paper across the desk. Without needing to hold it up close, I saw the highlighted number in the call log. I wasn’t shocked that they’d tracked my phone use.
“That’s for my distant cousin, Kalina.”
“I thought you said you haven’t reached out to anyone in the Petrov family.”
“I haven’t. She is a distant cousin from my mother’s side.”
“Why would you contact her now, so close to the timing of showing up here and so soon after you claim to have killed two Rivera trespassers in your home?”
“She didn’t just claim it,” Alexsei butted in. “You know that our men have found the bodies.”
I glanced at him, grateful for the backup.
Having the proof of those two men supported my story.
“I called Kalina in hopes that she might be able to help me. Because I believed that Ivan wanted nothing to do with me from how he’d left me years ago, I was desperate for someone to help me.
She was the only person I thought of, even though it’s been forever since I last saw her.
” I shrugged, hating how much a frown tugged at my lips.
“For all I know, she’s dead too. The number is never answered.
” Unlike my reaction to the possibility that my father could be dead, I wished Kalina well.
“Understand this, Raisa.” Luka sat up straighter. “I am not opposed to changes within my family. But I have never trusted Konstantin, and I don’t know you to determine whether I should trust you or not.”
“You’re being awfully harsh on her,” Alexsei chided. “With all that we’re finding that matches what she’s been telling us, you’re not being very open-minded.”
Thank you.
“You’re being an ass about this,” Gabby added.
She chimed in with that sassy tone of hers.
Without raising her voice to wake the sleeping baby boy slumped against her chest, she stared her husband down.
I didn’t expect her to come to my defense, but I appreciated that she was.
Maybe I wasn’t so alone in this world after all.
“You’re out of line to be this judgmental with her.” Gabby lifted her chin defiantly.
“Remember, wife of mine, that you were not born and raised in this world.” He gestured at me, not losing that stern glower.
“Raisa recalls. She’s at least aware of how the Dubinins have never been fond of the Petrovs.
Konstantin was the sole source and cause of many fights.
He instigated numerous feuds and attempted too many failed power grabs.
None of which I have any patience for ever again. ”
Gabby huffed, standing with athletic grace so as not to jostle Andre napping.
“And you need to remember, husband of mine,” she bit out.
“That not every woman can be or should be defined by her father. I’m an example of that mistake, am I not?
” She arched her brow, impressing me with her stubbornness.
I couldn’t begin to summarize how grateful I was to see that not everyone was against me.
“I am aware of that,” Luka told her. “Which is why I have been gracious to allow her and her son to stay here. But I will not slack in seeking more trouble with Konstantin if he is still alive.”
“Fine. But letting her know that you don’t seriously think she is a spy or a gold-digger would be a good start,” Gabriella insisted.
“I—” Luka raised his brows as Allan entered the room again. Cut off by the hurried appearance of his personal assistant, he paused.
Allan came to stand next to the Boss. Luka watched him expectantly. But I was the one he looked at directly.
“We’ve received word that men had invaded the school.”
“No!” I shot to my feet, panicking immediately.
Lev had to be safe.
I brought him here to be protected!
“Lev has been targeted in a kidnapping attempt and men are on their way there now.” Allan didn’t cringe or wince. He didn’t do anything of the sort, staring at me with a seriousness that chilled me. I buckled to the floor. Terror consumed me as I had to accept that my worst fear was happening.
Lev.
The only bright ray of sunshine in my existence.
I couldn’t bear to think of anything bad happening to him.