Chapter 26 Raisa
RAISA
Luka didn’t wait.
With Allan’s news that someone had broken into Lev’s school, he stood and was on the phone. I thought his expression was fierce and no-nonsense before. But right now, he was the epitome of a boss. A ruler. A leader who would take charge.
I slumped to the floor. The news literally knocked me down. Of all things that could happen, this was what I feared the most.
Losing my son.
Knowing the source of all my joy and happiness was threatened.
“No. Please, no.” I could barely breathe through the panic attack. Maybe this was it. A heart attack from the biggest loss of my existence. “No…”
“Shit. Breathe.” Gabriella wasn’t one of those women who freaked out and went numb in a crisis.
Luka spoke to someone on the phone, giving orders, but I had no idea what he was saying. Sounds reached me through a filter. I felt like I was stuck behind a veil, an out-of-body experience as I panicked like never before.
Alexsei stopped at the door with Allan only long enough to shout that they were securing the house and double-checking things on site.
“Here.” Luka cradled the phone between his ear and his shoulder, gesturing for Gabriella to hand him the baby who still slept.
As soon as she gave him the baby, she dropped to the floor and reached out for me.
“Breathe. Fuck, Raisa. Just breathe. In and out. In. There you go. Out.” Her face was just as stern as her husband’s as she crouched close to me and rubbed my back.
“Breathe. Just fucking breathe.” Straight to the point and taking charge to help me through the panic, she braced me with a hand on my back, demonstrating how to breathe.
It was such a simple thing. Inhales and exhales, but as I locked my stare on her, not really hearing or feeling anything else, I watched her lips as she closed them to inhale through her nose then make an O to exhale.
I couldn’t do anything else.
The possibility of Lev being hurt or taken was too much to bear.
I’d come here to avoid this.
This was the very reason I flew from Paris. The only reason I had to rush to Ivan and the Dubinins. To protect Lev, and still, this happened.
As I blinked, feeling my head clearing out from the first clutches of a panic attack, I looked up at Luka.
Still holding his baby boy, his phone at his ear, and his mouth moving between scowls and spoken orders, he looked like the boss.
A strong man who wasn’t afraid to tell his wife to let him hold a baby so she could comfort me.
A concerned man who wouldn’t hesitate to put men on the case and get answers about Lev.
He might not like me, but he gave a damn enough to want his wife to help me.
He might not welcome me to stay here for good, but he was deeply invested in keeping my son safe.
Those revelations stunned me, and I used them as mental anchors to ride the tide of lingering panic.
This was not my first brush with violence. Unlike Gabriella, I’d grown up in the Mafia lifestyle. I was used to the ever-present threat of danger at every corner. But I’d never felt it so deeply and personally as I had when receiving the news that my son’s school had been invaded.
“The house is secure,” Alexsei said as he returned to the room. He was wearing an earpiece now, and he pressed it as he reported to Luka, who’d just set his phone down.
“They are on the way.”
“They?” I swallowed hard, then cleared my throat.
“Emil is bringing Lev,” Luka replied, carrying Andre out of the office with him.
“Oh, God.” My heart seized all over again.
What about Ivan?
“Wait. Fuck. Luka!” Gabriella scrambled off the floor with me. “Luka! You can’t drop a bomb like that and walk away.”
We raced after him. She didn’t leave my side, determined to be a support.
“What about Ivan?” I shouted ahead.
Luka didn’t answer or stop. Striding down the hall, he moved with an urgency to check on who was pulling in first.
I couldn’t lose Ivan. I’d already lost him once and I refused to go through that again. I just couldn’t. I needed him. Lev needed him. And I knew in the bottom of my heart that Ivan longed for me to make his life complete too.
“Mama!”
The sound of feet pattering quickly over the floor silenced me. I gasped, overjoyed that Lev truly was here and all right. He was safe and sound, sprinting toward me like he always did. A cheerful, mischievous smile was missing on his face. Instead, tears of relief streaked over his cheeks.
He ran to me, launching into my waiting arms, and I hauled him close. Squeezing him tightly, I inhaled one deep breath after another. Willing my heart to slow down with the smell of him infusing me, I closed my eyes and counted my blessings.
But I was far from calm. I was nowhere near relieved. “Where is Ivan?”
I opened my eyes and found Emil striding up close. He had one hand on his hip, rubbing the other over his mouth.
“No. Please don’t tell me—”
“Daddy’s coming.”
I stopped short, looking down at Lev.
Daddy.
I knew this moment was coming. When he’d be so attached, it would be natural for him to call him his father. We hadn’t pushed it, but of all times for him to state that connection.
I pressed him back to me in a hug as I looked at Emil. “Is he okay?”
Emil nodded as Lev answered. “He said I was brave.”
“You are brave,” I replied in unison with Emil.
I furrowed my brow, wondering what my son had done for this dangerous assassin to declare it too.
“You are brave and safe.” I licked my lips, daring to believe Ivan would be unharmed as well. “And so is Ivan. Your father.” I frowned. “He is very brave too. But is he safe? Is he hurt?” I volleyed my gaze between my son, Emil, and Luka. Someone had to know.
“He is.” Emil nodded. “He’s handling… uh, the perps.”
“That means the bad guys, Mama,” Lev told me.
Oh, for fuck’s sake. I wanted him to hold on to this innocence for as long as possible. He didn’t need to explain what a perp was or who the bad guy was. I’d shock him if he ever found out I had taken out two of these bad guys myself in the name of protecting our family.
“He’s getting answers, and he’ll be here soon,” Emil summarized.
Luka sighed, watching Lev hug me. Then meeting Emil’s gaze, he tipped his head toward the study, a silent instruction to follow him there and talk.
I didn’t care about being excluded right now. In any other circumstance, I would demand to know every single detail about violence near my son. But in the wake of such a fright, I could only hold him and reassure myself that Ivan would be here soon.
I’d come here knowing he would protect our child, but I hadn’t wanted him to personally be caught in the line of fire.
Because I cared.
No. Because I loved him. I was so far down the path of resuming the pattern of our previous relationship, but I was too scared of the unknown about our future. They’d already been investigating why the Riveras targeted me, or Lev. But now this was something else. Or maybe it wasn’t.
Is this another attempt from the Italians?
Or someone else?
Gabriella walked us toward the lounge, telling Lev how proud she was of him to be so brave.
I wasn’t sure what it was about this woman, but he was comfortable turning right into a chatterbox.
He began detailing the morning. How he had gone in the car with Ivan and Emil.
What they talked about on the ride. Then how he liked seeing his new friends at school.
Then how masked men came in and the tutor began the process of calling for help and locking down the school.
Just when he was through telling us about how he and his classmates crouched in the corner, like they were instructed to, the masked man came in and fired his gun.
“I didn’t see Mr. Gerrold, so I worried he was shot,” he said as I held him on my lap, my arms around him.
Over his head, Gabriella looked at me with a worried wince.
I closed my eyes briefly. Dammit. I wanted to keep him far from this violence. A child his age shouldn’t witness a murder.
“So I got up and grabbed the fire extinguisher to bash it on the masked man’s head when he was bent over.”
Gabriella’s eyes popped open wide as she continued to look at me over his head. I felt my eyes bugging out too.
Holy shit.
“And then Daddy was there.” At the sound of someone striding into the room, we all looked up. “Daddy!” He jumped off my lap and ran to Ivan as he came into the room.
Just the sight of him walking unharmed calmed me down. I could finally breathe easier. And I finally had the truth bared before my eyes.
I did love him.
I’d never stopped. Despite how mad I was and how deeply he’d hurt me, I loved this man. I wouldn’t be this much of an emotional wreck at seeing he was okay if I didn’t love him like this.
But I couldn’t bring myself to admit it. Not out loud. I shoved the thought down in my head.
Gabriella left us, patting him on the back as she moved out of the room.
He nodded once at her, but he didn’t stray from approaching me.
Lev ran up to hug him, tightening his little arms around his waist. But instead of stopping to hold our son, he scooped him into his arms and carried him the rest of the way to me.
Like a warrior, a crusader who would never quit, he marched up to me.
A stern, ruthlessly sober expression covered his handsome face.
He was a man on a mission, a killer ready to be unleashed.
Just because I’d never seen his eyes darken with that much malice and his jaw so rigid with tension, I was taken aback.
He was a Mafia man. I knew this. I’d always been aware of who he was. But until this moment, it never truly sank into my psyche that he was a lethal and furious man when provoked.
“Are you okay?” I asked, hating how quiet I sounded.
He didn’t reply. Not verbally. He kissed the top of Lev’s head as he lowered him to the sofa Gabriella had led me to. Then once our son was on the cushion, Ivan knelt on one knee. Dropping to my level, he framed my face and kissed me hard.
Right on the lips, he claimed me in such a deep and sound kiss that showed me how badly he needed to see that I was safe and unharmed, despite never being at the scene of violence.
With his lips brushing over mine possessively, he proved that now, he was okay.
He was back to me, and that restored him.
But it was also the first time we’d kissed in front of Lev. As he pulled back, looking me over and staring into my eyes, I glanced over at Lev. He sat there, smiling wide.
A smile.
After witnessing his tutor being shot and then risking it all to fight back the gunman, he was smiling.
“Thank you.” That was all I could tell Ivan. I meant it from the bottom of my heart. I would forever be grateful that he protected our son and also ensured he wasn’t so traumatized that he wouldn’t smile at the sight of his mom and dad kissing.
Sighing heavily, he slanted forward to rest his forehead against mine.
The sure stroke of his fingers on my cheek soothed my soul.
And with his presence grounding me, I clutched the front of his shirt and closed my eyes.
Breathing in deeply, I willed myself to stop this fight.
To give up my grudge and forgive him so that the next time he was in danger and I worried about him or our son, they would both know how much I loved them.
All too soon, he pulled back. Holding my cheek in his palm and gazing at me intensely, he seemed to war between what to say.
“I’ll be back.”
I blinked, surprised. I hadn’t counted on him saying that.
“I’ll be back soon, okay?”
“Wait. Hold on.” I stood as he rose and stepped back. “Hold on. You’re just leaving?”
“I need to.”
“But why? Where are you going? I don’t want to—” Dammit. He’d left me once when I was so vulnerable and now he was taking off when I needed him again. Lev would need him too. The boy needed his father after such a scare.
I refused to let him walk away ever again!
Safety was implied. It was what I rushed here to secure for Lev. I was safe in this house, but I didn’t want to suffer through the worry that he wouldn’t be safe away from us.
“I vow to protect you. Both of you. And that means dealing with these loose threads.” He was talking in a riddle, probably to spare Lev more gruesome terminology. But I followed. I understood.
He got intel about who tried to take or hurt Lev, and he was prepared to share those details with his uncle, with Luka.
Not me.
I wasn’t privy to this intel about my son.
Being excluded had never aggravated me more.
Almost as if he sensed my ire, he sighed again and took my hand. “I will be back, Raisa. Nothing could keep me from you two.” He stepped closer and kissed my cheek before leaning in to whisper in my ear. “Nothing except this need to find the ones responsible for ever endangering my family.”
I swallowed hard, stunned at the nefarious deadliness in his tone. This wasn’t a bluff. It wasn’t him talking big. He meant every word.
So as he released my hand and retreated, looking at Lev once more, I watched him stride down the hall and leave us.
With nothing but his vow to protect us to keep me hopeful about the future.