Chapter 19
CHAPTER 19
S era
I push Ronan and Noah’s hands away as they try to help me recover from my near collapse to the ground. One moment I was standing on two feet, waiting for Montgomery to be the next one to kiss me, and the next …
Well, Montgomery was gone, and my knees went weak. Heat flushed through me, almost sending me to the floor.
“I’m going t-to my r-room,” I tell them. “Alone.”
“Serafina.” I ignore Noah calling me, though everything inside of me wants to go to him.
Montgomery’s rejection shouldn’t sting as much as it does. And I damn sure shouldn’t want all three of them so much. I need to get to my room, to get away from them.
On trembling legs, I climb the stairs and then shut myself in my bedroom. Once there, I lean against the door, allowing my knees to give out as I slide to the ground, covering my lips.
Mother Moon, this want is too powerful. The way Ronan took me in his office this afternoon should’ve been enough to last me a week, at least. Yet, now, here I am wanting all three of them.
Only to be rejected, once again, by one of the Blackclaw brothers.
Shaking my head, I tell myself to brush off the self-pity.
The strange sensations and heat moving through my body are too intense. Mother Moon, I wish there were windows in this bedroom.
Pushing off of the floor, I move to the fan in the corner of the room and turn it on. It helps, a little, allowing me to remember my true priorities.
Montgomery did me a favor by walking away. Who knows what would’ve happened if he stayed. My nipples harden at the thought, but I make myself focus on what really matters.
I move to my bed and slip my hand underneath the mattress. The burner phone I bought is still there.
I take it out and start to call Emery, thankful I memorized her number, but then I stop. Maybe Emery isn’t the best person to contact right now. I briefly think about calling Reese, but with her heavily pregnant, I don’t want to put more on her shoulders.
“Ms. Elsie,” I say out loud before dialing her number.
“Hello?” the Nightwolf pack elder and unofficial grandmother of the pack answers.
“Ms. Elsie, it’s me,” I say. “Sera.”
There’s a brief pause on the other end.
“Oh, Sera!” she greets in her warm, welcoming voice.
It’s soothing and comforting.
“How are you? Where are you? You missed Emery and Chance’s wedding. If we hadn’t seen the note you left, we would’ve been worried.”
I tighten my hold around the phone. It’s on the tip of my lips to tell Ms. Elsie I never left behind a note and that I didn’t miss the wedding on purpose.
But I bite my tongue.
“You’re a danger to everything you touch!” I flinch from the memory of the harsh words spat at me when I was a young girl.
The memory reminds me of why I shouldn’t tell Ms. Elsie more than necessary. It’s not like I have plans of going back to the Nightwolf pack once I find out my truth.
I can’t.
But I still want to check in on them, and eventually, I need to speak with Emery. Sometime before the next supermoon. Before I officially become mate bonded with my three mates.
“Yes, I’m sorry about the abrupt way I left,” I tell Ms. Elsie. “But I had to go. I, uh, got a lead on a time sensitive matter.”
“Mm,” she replies. “Well, we certainly missed you. Even your parents came into town for the wedding. That was a surprise.”
I cover my mouth to keep the bile from coming out.
My parents.
She must be referring to the people who pretended to be my parents for the first twelve years of my life until they sent me away after I apparently attacked my supposed father, unprovoked. The words my fake mother told me remain a reminder for me not to get too comfortable anywhere I am.
“Th-That’s nice,” I say, barely able to keep the strain out of my voice. “I … are Emery and Chance still on their honeymoon?”
Honeymoons aren’t typical in the shifter world, but I remember talking to Emery about going away for a few weeks after the wedding.
“Yes. Our beta took his mate to Hawaii for a week. Emery’s sister, Ashley, always wanted to go, and Emery wanted to go see it for her sister.”
I press my hand to my chest. While I wasn’t present, I did hear about how Emery’s adoptive parents killed her younger sister.
I nod, even though Ms. Elsie can’t see me.
“They’ll return by this time next week,” she continues. “Will you be home by then?”
My stomach tightens.
Home.
A place that’s felt elusive for so long, despite my being raised among the Nightwolves my entire life. How can I truly call their space home if I’m not a shifter?
A sudden rush of heat races across my belly.
Without thinking, I move back to the fan. I take a deep breath, wondering what’s going on. I’m much too young for menopause.
“I’m not sure,” I finally answer Ms. Elsie.
“Our Alpha Queen may be delivering soon,” Ms. Elsie then tells me.
This makes me stand up straight. “Isn’t it too early? She still has a few more months, right?”
“We’re not certain. She’s showing early signs of impending delivery. And most nights her ankles become dangerously swollen. Dr. Drake has put her on bed rest and that’s seemed to help.”
“I’ve only been gone a few weeks,” I say more to myself than to Ms. Elsie.
“Yes, but you know how quickly shifter pregnancies progress.”
I nod silently.
“And how dangerous they can be … especially for a human,” I mumble.
“Well, I’m sure Mother Moon knows what she’s doing. We will have our next alpha progeny born soon.”
I swallow, not feeling as confident as Ms. Elsie. Yes, Reese is strong, but she’s a human. And she’ll be delivering the baby of an alpha. Modern technology, along with shifter healing capabilities, have dramatically decreased the dangers of shifter births.
But there are still factors that remain uncontrollable.
I shake my head to push away the negative thoughts that try to race through my head.
“Our Alpha Queen is strong. Mother Moon wouldn’t have mated her with Alpha Chael if she weren’t,” I tell Ms. Elsie with all of the certainty I can muster.
“Exactly,” she says cheerily. “You should see how determined she is not to be a burden to anyone, even while she’s on bedrest.” Ms. Elsie laughs, pulling a small smile from me.
I open my mouth to tell Ms. Elsie to send Reese my love, but I stop myself. It’s probably for the best that no one knows about this conversation.
“Are you sure?” Ms. Elsie questions when I tell her as much.
“Yes. I just don’t want Reese or anyone worrying about me when you all already have so much on your plate. The focus should be on taking care of Reese and the baby.”
“Of course, but we can do both,” she counters. “When will you be returning?” she asks as if my return is inevitable.
“I …” I trail off because I don’t want to lie. No more than I already have during this conversation. “We’ll see,” I answer, non-committedly.
“Hm?”
That little sound makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Ms. Elsie always seems to know more than she lets on. She’s always been like this. Despite my many attempts to keep my distance from her, she continuously pulls me in with her grandmotherly nature.
Something I secretly yearned for, especially after the death of my aunt.
“You have to at least be here for the birth,” she pushes.
My stomach twists in knots. Part of me wants to be there. Reese is special, and truthfully, I’d love to be there to witness the birth of the Nightwolf pack’s next alpha.
But what if it’s true?
What if I really do pose a threat to the Nightwolf pack?
I shake my head.
“I’ll try. I have to go?—”
“Wait, is this a new phone number? I’ll save it.”
I flinch, but answer. “Y-Yes, this is my new phone.”
It’s not like I keep the phone turned on most of the time. Even if Ms. Elsie does call, the guys won’t hear it.
“Okay, it’s all saved now. I’ll let you go. I’m sure you’re busy, but it was good hearing from you.”
“You too,” I respond, honestly. “But please remember to keep this conversation just between us, okay?”
Though I was gone from the Nightwolf pack for months, I still kept in contact with Ms. Elsie. It was during a call with her that convinced me to return to New Mexico. After she let it slip that Beta Chance’s new mate was a storyteller.
I’d just had a meeting with a seer from a pack up north about how a storyteller would be the one to help reveal the truth of my past.
But then returning home sent me in the direct path of my three mates.
Now, I’m here in Colorado without the answers I’m looking for.
I push out a heavy breath. It’s been a long day. Between being with Ronan in his office, his words echoing in my mind all day, kissing Noah and Ronan after dinner, and finally, being rejected by Montgomery.
All of it creates a tug of war within my body. I want to be close to them but as far away as possible. I can’t allow myself to become pulled back into whatever this pull is between us.
I need the answers I’m seeking and to move on.
There is no alternative for the four of us. I’m likely to destroy them and their pack if I stay.