Chapter 11
“I don’t like leaving him alone,” I said as Azra set us down near the edge of the angelic campus.
“It’s better for him that you’re far away right now,” he said as he kept his hand on the small of my back. His touch felt natural and comforting.
“Why’s that?”
He sighed and kissed the crown of my head with a new sense of familiarity and affection that came with our fully established bond.
“Because he’s going to be suffering right now, beloved.
An unsuccessful bond will rip him in two and your presence will be more painful than helpful right now.
The farther away you are, the better of a chance he’ll have to solidify himself without you instead of falling apart. ”
I fumbled my fingers together as I thought of how Cole had literally run away to the farthest reaches of Hell after our bond had failed.
Perhaps it wasn’t just about finding the Death Lotus. Perhaps… he just was trying to get as far away from me as possible because even the sight of me hurt him.
“It’s just temporary,” Azra said. “We’ll figure this out, Lilith. Okay?”
I was doing a good job of walling off my thoughts. I didn’t want him to know how hopeless and guilty I felt.
“Yeah,” I said reluctantly as I tilted my chin to my chest.
He ran his finger underneath my chin and lifted my gaze to his. He reminded me of Sam with the way his brilliant amethyst eyes glowed with an inner light. Everything about him was ethereal and perfect, as if he’d been carved from stone by a master craftsman.
“I mean it, beloved. We’ll figure this out. Okay?”
Fighting back the burn behind my eyes, I slowly nodded.
I had to trust him and lean on him, otherwise I would be doing our bond a disservice.
Falling into his arms, I held onto him as tightly as I could. He fanned his wings around us, stirring up his unique musk of mint and cherries.
Inhaling deeply, I settled my conflicting thoughts and focused on the present.
“You told Kaito what happened?” I asked, attempting to pull myself together and focus on the things that I could do something about.
Like get Kaito’s take on what happened with the cherry grove and the Song Sphere. I felt like there were answers there that would help us figure out this mess.
Not to mention I was freaking starving. A couple of cherries just wasn’t cutting it after the day I’d had.
My stomach rumbled in response, making Azrael chuckle. “I told Kaito that he needed to come pick you up, but apparently I should have told him to bring lunch.”
Frowning, I pushed him away. “It’s not my fault the only meal I’ve had around here were cherries.”
“That wasn’t the only meal you’ve had,” he said as he waggled his brows.
My cheeks flushed again. “Shut up.”
“Are you going to tell me why you look so guilty?” Kaito prodded when we’d returned to his office.
He definitely looked more rested, but I guessed that I looked like shit.
“I think you know why,” I said as I plopped into the chair behind his desk. It was the most comfortable chair in the room and there weren’t armrests, so I could fan my wings out comfortably.
Kaito didn’t say a word as he sat on the edge of the desk and smoothed out some new maps. He’d finally gotten some sleep, but he had still found some time to sketch out more of Hell’s tunnels.
“I already knew you’d eventually bond the twins,” he said with a shrug. “I came to terms with that a long time ago.” His exotic eyes glinted with masculine superiority. “It doesn’t change anything. I still bonded you before they did and you’re still mine.”
“I only bonded one of the twins,” I corrected him with a sigh. Taking one of the pens from his desk, I flipped it over my knuckles. “Azrael… imbibed evil in order to make it work.”
I didn’t know how else to say it. That’s what Azrael had done. He’d lowered himself to my level and put his life in danger to give me no choice but to make sure he survived. Of course I’d wanted to bond him, but I didn’t want him to risk himself in the process.
Kaito dragged all of the uncomfortable details out of me, including my failed bond with Samael.
“Did you ingest any cum?” he asked with a completely straight face.
I stared at him for a minute. “Excuse me?”
The corner of his mouth lifted slightly. “Just answer the question, Koneko-chan.”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat, debating if I should be honest or not.
“Yes,” I finally said, knowing that even if I lied, Kaito would see right through it.
“What did it taste like to you?”
Before meeting my mates, I’d never blushed or felt embarrassed. Now, though, my mates knew how to get under my skin in all the right ways.
“Does that really matter?” I countered.
He chuckled. “I’m asking because it’ll tell me how far along you are balancing your genetic makeup.”
Glowering, I slammed the pen onto the table, then crossed my arms. “I think you’re just being evil and enjoying watching me squirm.”
A devious grin spread across his lips. With his horns and silver-rimmed gaze, he definitely looked like a delicious package of evil I wanted to devour. “Your point? I can be practical and enjoy watching you squirm at the same time.”
Rolling my eyes, I rose from the chair and spread my fingers over the closest map.
The tunnels wound around each other and overlapped in certain places.
He’d added a legend to it with markings that I didn’t recognize.
“Can you tell me what this means?” I asked, pointing to a place where the tunnels all seemed to merge onto one another and Kaito had drawn some sort of symbol with dark lines.
“If you answer my question,” he countered, making me frown.
“Is that seriously going to tell you anything useful, or are you just trying to make fun of me?”
“Does that mean it tasted good?” he asked, his devious grin turning downright sinful. He leaned over the table, the intensity of his gaze keeping me in place. “Be honest, Koneko-chan. This is important. Depending on the level of your balance, we might have a chance to wake up Orion and the others.”
My fingers curled across the paper as the desperate hope filled the empty places of my soul where my sleeping mates should have been.
“It tasted… divine,” I admitted, forcing myself to match his intense stare.
“Was this before or after you bonded with Azrael?” he asked, his question serious. There was a flicker of hope in his gaze I didn’t understand.
The answer to my question meant the difference between saving my mates or losing them. I could see it in Kaito’s eyes that he’d been mulling over this for quite some time.
“Before,” I said after some careful thought. “And after as well.”
Kaito’s shoulders relaxed. “That’s good, Koneko-chan.
Very good. It means your angelic side is awake and merging with your soul, but your inability to bond with both of the twins is actually a good sign.
It means you’re holding onto your demonic side, as well.
You’ll need all of your gifts to overthrow Lucifer and Calamity. ”
I chewed on my lip. “So where do we go from here?”
He glanced down at the map where the tunnels merged on one another. “We need to find a way to get there before Cole does.”
“What is this symbol?”
He rubbed his chin. “It’s a breach between the realms…
and I have a feeling it’s where your mother is being held.
It isn’t a coincidence that it rests on a conjunction of tunnels.
I think that’s where the Death Lotus might bloom, it’s a convergence of souls, a place of death, and also a place with strong magic.
The kind that can keep the Queen of Hell locked up and Hell’s most powerful artifacts out of sight. ”
My eyes went wide. “Then what are we waiting for?”
“There’s a reason Lucifer hasn’t gone there himself.
If he sent your mother there, then that means he doesn’t think it’s a place that she can leave.
We don’t know what kind of realm those tunnels lead to.
Not to mention, if you do go to another realm, we might lose Orion and the others, and then we’ll lose Hell to the frost and the Academy won’t stand a chance against Lucifer.
We have to know what we’re getting into. ”
Frustration bubbled up inside my chest as I stared at the black marking on the map.
My answers were there. My mother, perhaps the Death Lotus, and everything I needed to fix this.
With my mother returned, Hell would be securely ours again and I could fight Lucifer on his turf.
With the Death Lotus, I would be able to bond Cole.
And then, if I could understand how the Death Lotus bloomed, perhaps I could replicate the magic with Heaven’s flower: Ambrosia.
“That’s a lot of ‘ifs,’” I grumbled to myself.
Kaito chuckled. “I know what’s going through your head, but we can figure this out if we just think about it one step at a time.
You’ve bonded to one of the angel twins, which means that your powers have skewed to Heaven’s side.
That’s good, but maybe it’s a little too good for what we need to accomplish.
” He rested his hand on mine and interlaced our fingers.
“If we go there, you’ll need to be able to commune with the heart of Hell itself.
Your angels won’t be able to follow and your angelic side will need to be suppressed. ”
I squeezed his fingers. “I worked so hard to balance these powers inside of me and now you want me to suppress them?”
He nodded. “It’s a skill you’re going to have to master. There will be instances where you’ll need to suppress your demonic side as well.”
“Like when I’m on holy ground,” I said.
Although I’d done a shit job of that. I went through my experience again of the black scars that had spread throughout holy ground when I’d bonded with Azrael.