Chapter 34 - Rhett
THIRTY-FOUR
RHETT
My Monday morning started with the sound of a cat vomiting beside my bed, and I knew from the moment I opened my eyes that it would be a terrible day.
The orange stared at me above his little puddle of puke, and I rolled back onto my pillows with a groan.
My body ached, even though I hadn’t done anything more strenuous than cut a few Christmas tree trunks down to size the day before.
I pawed at my nightstand and found my phone. Piper’s email waited for me there.
I hadn’t realized how badly I wanted to see her until I learned she wouldn’t be at work today.
The cat retched again. I sat up and rubbed my hand against my forehead, then squinted at the cat. A puddle of something slimy and yellowish sat near his feet, with a dark clump in the middle. I leaned forward and cringed.
“Is that a hairball? I didn’t realize cats actually did that.”
The cat meowed. I stared at him for a while as he padded away from the vomited hairball and slithered out the door. He didn’t look bothered, but my eyes strayed to what he’d hacked up onto my floor. That didn’t look right.
I followed the cat to the kitchen and found him patiently waiting for his food to be dispensed. My thoughts tried to stray to the email Piper had left in my inbox, but I wrenched them back to the creature at my feet.
“You just puked. Now you want to eat?”
We stared at each other for a while, and then I swore. “I’m taking you to the vet,” I told the cat. It would be another couple of hours before the vet clinic opened, though, so I made myself some coffee, ate breakfast, and cleaned up the revolting bile and hairball that damn cat had left for me.
By the time I’d showered and gotten ready, it was late in the morning.
Cat food had been dispensed and devoured, and no more hairballs seemed to be forthcoming.
Still, I found the cat lounging on the kitchen floor, so I went to the garage, found the cat carrier Jed had sold me, put it on the ground in front of the cat, and opened the door.
He looked at me, then closed his eyes and curled into a ball.
“Get in, cat,” I growled. “I’m not having you puke all over my house.”
Besides, a trip to the vet would save me from going to work and having to see Piper’s empty office. I mentally slapped myself.
Who cared if she wasn’t at work? She’d delivered the lodge design, we’d be able to open ahead of schedule, and now I could safely get rid of her. That was for the best, wasn’t it?
The cat jumped up onto the counter, then hopped to the back of the couch and disappeared.
“Get in the carrier!” I pointed at the beige box and rattled the metal gate.
The cat ignored me, as he always did. Heat built up in my chest. I didn’t want to deal with this, or him, or Piper.
I just wanted to make money and live my life unbothered.
Was that too much to ask? I’d been fine before Piper came to town.
Sure, I felt like a fraud and I wasn’t really sure what the point of my life was.
But everyone in town loved me, and life had been good.
Now I felt like I wanted to scratch my skin off, and where was that damn cat?
I stomped to the pantry, stopping short as soon as I opened the door and saw all my unopened jars of chutney. Piper’s face flashed into my mind—the way she’d looked at me when she’d seen my stash. She’d looked like she loved me.
I swore at myself again, reaching past the chutney for the cat treats. I slammed the pantry door and turned my back on it.
I bought Florence’s mango chutney because it made me look like a good guy. Everyone knew I bought a jar every week. I did it because it fit with my image. I was the helpful, generous guy in town. On the outside.
But Piper had seen right through it—down to the selfish, self-centered core of me. She would never want to be with me—not really. That was why she’d invited her ex over. Or why he’d shown up—or whatever had happened.
Anger clouded my thoughts, and I shook the bag of cat treats until a little orange head poked around the edge of the couch.
“Yeah. You want these, huh? So easy to manipulate you, just like everyone else. And you know what? It’s what I do to get what I want.
I make sure everyone gets what they need, so I can do whatever I like in this town.
I’m a worthless piece of shit, and that’s the way I like it.
I’ll keep using people and making money, and no one will ever be able to tell me to stop.
Because you know what happens when you let people in?
They turn their backs on you. They betray you.
They remind you that you’ll always be alone, because they’ll always choose someone else. ”
I dumped a handful of treats into my palm and flung them into the carrier. I knew I wasn’t making any sense, and the cat was looking at me like I’d lost my mind.
But he slinked into the carrier and began munching, and I slammed the little gate closed. Hauling it up into my arms, I slid my feet into boots and went to the garage.
The sight of my weekend vehicle, the gleaming SUV with seat warmers and all the bells and whistles of this year’s model, made me snarl. I’d never be able to drive that thing again, because I’d only think about the feel of Piper under my palm when she writhed on the seat beside me.
The truck wasn’t much better. We’d spent so much time in it over the past couple of months, driving back and forth to site, but at least I’d never kissed her in it.
I dropped the carrier on the passenger seat and got behind the wheel.
The sound of sharp teeth crunching hard treats filled the cab, and I started the engine.
Erin was working again today, and she gave me a big smile when I walked through the door. “Rhett!” she exclaimed. “Wasn’t expecting you today.”
“Cat’s been puking,” I said, then took a deep breath. I tried a smile on, and it felt stiff and uncomfortable.
That was Piper’s fault too. I’d gotten so used to being myself around her that now I didn’t know how I was supposed to act around everyone else. I took a deep breath and tried again, and this time my smile was a little easier, but it still felt entirely false.
“Hairball,” I explained.
“Oh no!” Erin took the carrier from me and waved me into the back. She set the cat carrier on a stainless steel table, opened the door, and gently coaxed the cat out with little pss-pss-pss noises. “Let’s have a little look, shall we?”
“I’ll sit out front,” I said. “I’ve got emails.”
“Sure,” she said. “Shouldn’t be long!”
I slumped into a chair near the front door and pulled out my phone.
I’d meant to start tackling the rest of my inbox, but my fingers brought me right back to Piper’s email.
A personal day, she said. She’d be back in tomorrow.
I read the words a hundred times, trying to glean their hidden meaning. What was she trying to tell me?
It was impossible to do any real work. Every time I tried to focus on procurement or a new quote or one of the thousand tasks that were waiting for my attention, I just kept thinking about Piper.
She’d denied her connection to me when her ex questioned her. That stung. That was yet another rejection, and I couldn’t handle rejection. That was why I worked so damn hard to be the man everyone wanted me to be.
My heart squeezed so tight I could hardly breathe. The air in the veterinarian’s clinic was close and hot. I tried to inhale, but all I smelled was pet food and antiseptic and dog. I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes and tried not to let myself be swept up in the hurt of Piper’s denial.
When I’d told her I wanted her to be my girlfriend, she’d been more worried about what her sons would think. And then she’d denied it flat out when her ex asked. And why was her ex at her house, anyway? After everything she’d told me, she shouldn’t have let him in the front door.
My leg was jumping up and down, and I couldn’t take the heat and the smell and the cheerful sound of Erin talking to my cat. I leaped to my feet and shouldered my way through the door, gulping down the sharp, cold air of the outdoors.
“Rhett!”
I opened my eyes. Dave stood before me, wearing a navy beanie and a puffy black jacket. He pushed the edge of his beanie up with a gloved hand as he came to a stop in front of me. “Hey there,” he said. “Everything all right?”
“Just fine, Dave. Everything’s just fine.”
He grunted, pinching his lips in sympathy. “I’m guessing this has to do with Piper leaving, huh?”
My gaze sharpened.
He blew out a breath. “I tell ya, I couldn’t believe it when she told me. A real shame, especially after all the good work she’s done. Ollie told me the lodge is looking fantastic.”
I held up my hands. “What are you talking about?”
He blinked. “Oh. I didn’t—I thought…” He shook his head. “Gosh—I shouldn’t have said anything.”
Resisting the urge to grab him by the collar and shake answers out of him, I clenched my hands at my sides and spoke very slowly. “Start at the beginning. What’s this about Piper leaving?”
Dave put his hands up. His cheeks were pink from the cold, and his eyes were sad. “All I know is she came into the shop today asking about moving to California.”
“Moving to Cali—” I whirled toward my truck, then stopped and whirled back. “When? How? She can’t move to California! She works for me! Here! She works here! She lives here!”
Except I told her she’d have to leave her own home.
Icy cold panic brushed away the anger that had driven me so far. Suddenly, I saw the situation through fresh eyes.
Piper had been startled by her ex’s arrival, and she’d put her sons first. Nate told me she’d made her ex’s favorite dish—and it was his favorite too. He’d been so excited to see his dad. Piper would have wanted her boys to be happy, so she’d let him stay.
It had nothing to do with me.
When she’d denied being involved with me, it was because Nate and Alec were lingering within earshot. She wouldn’t want them to hear about our relationship that way. Hell, I didn’t want them to hear about it that way. I loved those boys. I wanted them to love me back.
She’d been caught in a difficult situation, and instead of supporting her the way she needed, I’d turned on her. I’d told her that she had three months to stay in the house she adored.
I’d made her feel unsafe and alone and vulnerable—and I’d done it because that was how I felt.
Except I wasn’t a little boy who just wanted his mother’s love instead of her disdain. I wasn’t a young man who fell for the exact type of woman who would delight in exploiting all his vulnerabilities.
I was a grown man now, and I should have seen that the woman I loved needed me to be there for her. I should have lived up to her good opinion of me and proved to her that we belonged together.
“I fucked up,” I blurted.
Dave’s eyes softened. “We all do, now and then.”
“No, I mean I fucked up real bad, Dave. She’s leaving because of me.”
“Rhett?” Erin poked her head out the door. “I’m all done here. Kitty cat’s fine, but keep an eye on him, okay? If he keeps vomiting up hairballs regularly, bring him back in and we’ll run some tests.”
I grabbed the carrier she extended toward me, mind whirling. “I need to go. Can I settle the bill later?”
She looked at me, tilting her head as she frowned. “Sure,” she said. “Hi, Dave.”
I didn’t hear Dave’s answer, because I was already hurrying away.
The cat meowed his displeasure at being jostled, but I couldn’t slow down.
I set him on the passenger seat and once again got behind the wheel.
This time, I set off toward the little house on Lovers Lane, heart rattling, knuckles white, and throat so tight I could hardly breathe.