32. Mia
MIA
Waking up next to Aaron was a heady experience.
I’d never spent a whole night sleeping next to a man.
Especially not one I liked so much. He was an unusual combination of sexy and considerate.
We shared a very thorough good-morning kiss, but then he was very careful to look the other way when I pulled on a robe and padded to the bathroom.
He even seemed to know that I’d feel a little awkward facing Diego and Cody after that, so he kept us on a tight schedule.
We spent the morning working on our individual work in a gorgeous library he drove us to.
It wasn’t very crowded, being the day before Thanksgiving, and we all had room to spread out.
Then it was lunch at a coffee shop, fortunately one where I didn’t have to serve anything.
Then Aaron turned the floor over to me, and I conducted the first official Team Mia meeting for my video presentation.
That took up so much of my focus that I forgot to be nervous.
At least until late that evening when it was time to join Cody in his room.
He was wearing black boxer briefs and leaning against the headboard. His headphones were on, and he tapped on a tablet while I lay at his side, reading from my phone. Tonight, I had on another new outfit. This one was also a two-piece, but there were no shorts involved.
The main piece was like a slip dress, or a chemise.
The satiny material was teal, and it made my skin look pale, but not in a bad way, as far as I could tell.
There was a matching robe that I’d shyly discarded before climbing into bed.
Beneath the nightie were matching panties that were barely more than a small triangle in front, a slightly larger one in back, and straps on the sides.
I was facing Cody, my head on the pillow, my phone propped up in front of me. But I kept looking at him rather than the screen.
He was just so damn gorgeous. Sometimes I forgot that because it could be a little hard to know how to deal with him. What to say and what to do. But at other times, when I just stopped and looked at him, I was taken aback by how damn handsome he was.
It was impossible to forget now that he had his shirt off, with only the boxers and a sheet covering his lower half. His skin looked so warm and smooth as it showcased his muscles. Not bulky, oversized ones. Just muscles that spoke of strength and grace, if that was the right word.
Too late, I realized that he’d gone still. No nodding his head along to the music. No fingers moving as if playing an instrument.
Hastily, I lifted my gaze to his face. Those pale blue eyes were staring straight at me.
I flushed, mortified at having been caught checking him out. Except… he didn’t appear to have noticed.
“Cody?”
His gaze sharpened, and I realized it had been unfocused a moment ago. Thank god. He removed his headphones, setting them down, and I didn’t hear any faint music echoing from them.
Which was a first.
“Are you okay?”
He nodded, though he appeared to be thinking it through.
“Are you… do you… do you want some space?” I didn’t know what else to ask. Now that I thought about it, I realized he’d been moody at dinner tonight. I hadn’t really registered it because I’d been so excited about being with him tonight.
Finally, he spoke. “I’m trying to figure out how to… talk to you.”
I pulled the sheet up against my chest, bringing my knees up and curling up. I had the sense that he didn’t just mean in general. He had trouble talking to everyone in general. He meant right now. “You can tell me anything.”
He gave a faint but somehow bitter smile. “I think I’ve proven that I can’t.”
Again, I knew what he meant… he wasn’t saying that in the way some other man might, like there were certain topics he felt he couldn’t discuss with me. He meant he couldn’t always tell me the things he wanted to.
“Could you just… try? I can be a good listener. I can even be patient if I’m well fed.” That last part had been an attempt to make him smile. We’d all had a large dinner, at a steakhouse this time. “Would it be easier with the lights out?”
He shook his head sharply at that. “I don’t like to talk in the dark.”
That seemed like a bit of an odd thing to say, but this was Cody, after all.
“All right.” I reached out, patting his thigh lightly. “I’m here. I’m listening. So you can talk if you want, or not. It’s up to you.”
Cody’s gaze fell to my chest, and I realized that the neckline of the flimsy little chemise had shifted lower, but the way he was looking at me wasn’t heated. Wasn’t full of desire. I almost wished it had been. Then I could distract him from his struggle to express himself.
Finally, he sighed. “Do you know what a CODA is?”
“A musical term?” It seemed like a pretty safe bet.
“No, it’s—well, yes, actually it is—but I’m talking about the acronym. It means… shit, I never talk about this.” He raked a frustrated hand through his hair, making it stick up even more, and then he slid down on the bed, coming to rest on his side, a foot away from me.
To me, it seemed harder to talk now that we were face to face, inches away from each other. It was like his blue eyes had captured me, entranced me. But it probably would’ve felt like that even if we were across the room from each other.
“You don’t have to tell me. And if you do want to, it doesn’t have to be today.”
He glanced around, as if suddenly noticing we were both in bed together—and not wearing very much. “I’m ruining our night together.”
“No, you’re not.” Finding his hand, I squeezed gently.
He studied me for a long moment, as if deciding whether I meant that. Then he sighed again. “CODA means Child of Deaf Adults. That’s me. That’s what I am. Both my birth parents were deaf. The sign language I learned from them, it felt like my first language.”
There was a pause, and I did my best to not rush him. It meant a lot that he wanted to share his story with me. I just wished I could make it easier for him.
Finally, he continued. “They sent me to pre-school and hired a hired a nanny to talk with me, but speaking aloud... it kind of felt like a game I would play with others, not like my real method of communicating.”
I waited, barely breathing, my chest tightening painfully as I anticipated the tragedy that was obviously coming
“They’d always have the TV on, knowing I could listen to people talking there, but I’d always change it to music when I could.”
He took a deep breath, his fingers tensing in mine.
“They died in a car crash when I was six.”
He said it in a matter-of-fact way that nearly broke my heart.
To me, that had always been the worst reason to enter foster care.
Over the years I’d heard tragic tales of abuse and neglect, but it always seemed that the absolute worst thing was to have loving parents who were tragically taken from you.
My heart ached for him, but I sensed he wasn’t done with his story, and I knew how hard it was for him to talk about it.
After a long pause, he continued. “My foster parents, they didn’t know any sign language, and that was the way I felt most comfortable communicating, so I just didn’t… talk. At all. For about two years, maybe. The psychiatrist called it selective mutism.”
He studied my face and then thumb brushed along my cheek. “Don’t cry.”
I couldn’t help it. It just hurt so much to think of that little boy, thrust in that situation. He no longer had his parents. He no longer could communicate with people the way he needed to.
Cody closed the distance between us and pulled me into his arms. I nestled against him, getting as close as I could. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “For that little boy. And for the man you are now. Even though he’s an amazing musician. And a good friend. And, let’s face it, pretty damn hot.”
He laughed softly. “You know, if that’s how you see me, I’ll take it.”
That hurt too. Cody had isolated himself so much that very few people knew how incredible he was.
He stroked my hair, holding me against his chest. It was like he was providing me comfort when it should’ve been the other way around. “Do you want to tell me more?” I whispered.
“No.” His voice was also soft. “I haven’t even told anyone that much in…” He trailed off, lost in thought, and I wondered if he’d ever shared that with anyone. “I don’t want to talk anymore right now.”
His fingers grazed along my back, and I kissed the side of his neck. His scent filled my nose, his warm clean skin and a faint note of a woodsy aftershave.
“I’m glad you told me,” I said softly. “And I’m glad I met you.”
“Me too.” He stroked my hair, pulling my head tightly against his chest. “And not in quite the same way, but the others, too. Diego and Aaron—they’re like the first friends I’ve been able to be myself around.
” He held me so close that I couldn’t resist the urge to press my lips lightly against his warm skin.
“The only friends who’ve ever wanted to be around the real me.
” He sounded like he didn’t quite understand how that was possible.
“I’m glad you’ve found them. And I hope you can add me to that list.”
“I already did.” His lips dipped near my ear, his nose nuzzling my hair. “But there are things I want to do just with you.” He pushed me back, and my head sank into the pillow as he moved in over me. “Just to you.”
Oh god. My hormones returned in full force. He was on top of me, not putting his full weight on me, but enough to hold me down, to let me really feel his hard, sculpted muscles.
His lips grazed the side of my neck.
Being this close to a man like Cody was intoxicating, and I wanted to give pleasure as much as receive it. But there was also just something so damn exciting to hear him say he wanted to do things to me—to my body.