39. Mia #2
The surprise in his voice spoke of the wounded man he used to be. And made my heart ache. But mostly my heart was just full. Full of love. For him. And for two others.
“I love you, Cody.”
He held me tighter. And when I tilted my face up, his lips met mine. The kiss meant more now that we had said it. Now that we both knew how the other felt.
I sank into his arms and wanted the kiss to go on forever. And it did. For quite some time.
When he finally released me, I was dizzy with emotion and happiness.
“I love you,” Cody said, louder this time. As if now that he’d said it once, it was easier to say it again. “Don’t tell the others, okay?”
I was a little surprised by that. It seemed like the four of us had been sharing everything lately. But I nodded, too content with being in his arms to object.
The night before my last final exam, there was a tap at my bedroom door. I opened it to find Aaron standing there, and just like that, some of the tension and stress left my body.
“Is the coast clear?” he asked in a stage whisper.
I couldn’t help laughing. “Do you mean out in the hallway or in my room?”
He grinned and stepped inside. “Since Diego’s down in the dining room and Cody’s at practice, I certainly hope the coast is clear in your room.”
I shut the door after him. It still amazed me sometimes that a man like him wanted to spend so much of his time with me. I certainly wasn’t ever going to take that for granted.
“How did your test go?”
“I’m pretty sure I aced it.”
“Way to go!”
I grinned. “Do I get a kiss for that?”
“Gladly.”
He pulled me into his arms and claimed my mouth slowly and thoroughly.
I was dizzy and turned-on when he finally released me. “Wow. Um, you’re very good at that.”
He shrugged. “No, I’m not.”
I blinked in surprise. “How can you say that?”
“Because when you’re not good at something, then you owe it to yourself to practice again and again until you are.” His eyes lingered on my lips as he said that, and my body heated.
“Such dedication.” I smiled up at him. “I wouldn’t mind practicing a little more now.”
“Tempting, but I know you have to study for your test. Can I hang out in here while you do? I’ve got some research to read for student council.”
“Always trying to change the world for the better.”
“You know it.” He kicked off his shoes and climbed onto my bed, and I loved how comfortable he was doing that.
We’d come a long way from the day we’d flipped the mattress.
I settled back at my desk, but I kept sneaking peeks at him.
His face was so intense as he read from his phone.
“Study,” he said sternly, finally catching me.
I did. For a while. But all there was really left to do now was to read through my notes again and again, memorizing as much as I could.
And I didn’t need to be at a desk to do that.
“Scoot over.”
Aaron did, and I stretched out next to him on my side. When he lay down too, I rolled over so we were lined up perfectly, my back against his chest. Studying in a spoon position? That was definitely preferable to sitting at a desk.
For a while, I read my notes while he read on his phone, which was now propped up on my shoulder. Every so often, he’d bury his nose in my hair and inhale deeply. And each time, shivers would radiate through my body, and I’d forget schoolwork for a while.
Then the notebook was plucked out of my hands. “Break time,” he whispered in my ear. But when I tried to turn around to face him, he just pulled me tighter against his chest. I relaxed against him, loving the feel of his body nearly surrounding mine.
“I’m so glad you moved in here,” he murmured.
“Me too.” My voice was quiet as well.
“More than glad. What we’re doing… it’s not traditional, but it works somehow.”
I knew he meant the four of us, not just the two of us. “It makes me the luckiest woman in the world.” I said it lightly, but I honestly did feel that way. “Will it bother you, at Christmas?”
“What do you mean?”
“With your family. With me going as your girlfriend.”
“You are my girlfriend.” He kissed the side of my neck. “I’m just not your only boyfriend.”
Guilt hit hard. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean…” But what could I apologize for? Not for falling for three amazing men. I couldn’t help that.
He squeezed me tighter. “Nothing to apologize for. As I said, it works. I get an amazing girlfriend, and I’ve become closer to two good friends. What’s not to love?”
There it was again… the L word. Not as Cody had used it, but still, my heart beat faster.
“If, um, it ever doesn’t work for you, please let me know.”
“Mia, I know you feel like you’re taking advantage of us somehow, but I promise, you’re not. For the third time, this works. If I have to tell you that one more time, I’m going to tattoo it on your ass.”
That made me smile softly, but it also reminded me of the tattoo covering the scars on his arm. I wrapped my hand around his and pressed it to my stomach.
We were quiet for a while, both of us lost in thought, presumably. And then his mouth was at my ear. “I love you, Mia.”
My heart stopped for an agonizing moment, then restarted at double pace. I tried to turn, but he seemed content to hold me against him forever, and I couldn’t say I didn’t mind very much. Maybe it made it easier for me to say it. “I love you, too.”
“You don’t have to. I know it’s too soon.”
I tugged his hand up to my mouth and kissed it. “Actually, it’s too late, because I already love you. I was just afraid to say it.”
“Me too.” He traced my lower lip with the pad of his index finger. “But don’t tell the others, okay? Not yet.”
“All right.” My heart was too full to question that too much.
Finally, he let me turn in his arms, but just as his mouth lowered to mine, we heard a laugh coming from somewhere nearby.
Instinct had us springing from the bed. “Was that from Jenna’s room?”
I crept to the door of our shared bathroom and listened.
“Did she bring her boyfriend here?” Aaron whispered.
I didn’t hear anything at first, but then it came again. The laughter was followed by a low voice that sounded intimate.
We both looked at the closed door to my bedroom, and Aaron’s jaw dropped. “You don’t think Raymond has someone in his room, do you?”
I tiptoed to the door. “I don’t know who else it could be.”
“Who would make out with him?”
“Stop.” I pushed at Aaron as he joined me at the door. “He’s not a bad guy… he was just kind of role-playing the part for a while. Should we open the door?”
“Yeah, I’m dying to know. And I won’t make fun of him or anything.
” He kissed me once before returning to the bed, this time sitting up with his back against the headboard.
I opened the door and settled back at my desk, but I couldn’t help listening for the occasional sounds from Raymond’s room.
It seemed like Aaron, Diego, Cody, and I weren’t the only ones sneaking around.
Finally, we heard the door across the hall open. We both looked up… and then gasped.
Evan stepped into the hall, pulling Raymond’s door shut behind him. He froze briefly when he saw us, but then he gave us a big smile and a wink.
Then he was gone, leaving Aaron and me gaping at each other. Evan had always been so cheerful and upbeat, and Raymond was… well, Raymond. I mean, he was getting better, but still… wow.
“Good for them,” was all Aaron said. I agreed.
“Have you got a second?”
Diego poked his head out of his room as I made my way back from the kitchen with a mug of tea a few days later.
“Sure. Do you want some tea?”
He shook his head and held his door open, gesturing me in.
“It’s been a while since I’ve been in here.” I looked around. His room was less cluttered than Cody’s, since there weren’t musical instruments everywhere. And it was better decorated and organized than Aaron’s, but Diego had lived here for longer.
“Yeah, I guess the last time was when you came to talk to me because you said you felt you were doing things impulsively, or out of character. Do you still feel that way?”
“No.” I leaned against his desk. “But I am going to see one of the school counselors next semester. I figure it can’t hurt, and it’s included in the student health fee.”
“I’m glad. And again, if the person you see isn’t a good fit, you can find another.”
I smiled softly. “Lately my luck with meeting the right people has been pretty damn good.” Then I couldn’t resist teasing him. “For example, a couple of months ago, I went to this party and even though I was drunk, I managed to make out with the hottest guy in the whole place.”
“Although I might question your taste in that instance, I’d say on the whole we’re pretty damn lucky.”
“I think so too.”
He crossed to his dresser to get a little white paper gift bag. “This is for you.”
Oh crap, the holidays were coming up. I’d been so busy with finals that I hadn’t even thought about getting gifts for them. “I didn’t—I mean, I didn’t know what we…”
Diego put his hands on my shoulders, smiling slightly, and relaxed me. “This is just a thinking-of-you gift. It’s not a formal gift exchange.”
“Yeah, but Christmas is coming up, and I’m horrible at picking out gifts.”
He frowned. “I wouldn’t have gotten you something if I’d known it was going to cause panic. But you’re right, the four of us should probably get on the same page about whether we’re doing some kind of gift exchange, so that no one feels bad.”
“And so Aaron doesn’t buy us each a house or something,” I added.
He laughed, his hands warm on my shoulders.
“Now take a deep breath and open that.” I inhaled fully and let it out before sitting on the edge of the bed, where he joined me.
Opening the bag, I pulled out something made of yarn.
I smoothed it out and saw that it was a beautiful knitted pair of mittens.
They were made of cream-colored yarn with a tree on the front.
“Every time I hold your hand lately, it’s freezing, so I thought you could use these.” Diego’s voice was almost a little shy, as if embarrassed that he’d been thinking about me. Which was pretty damn sweet.
“Thank you. And they’re beautiful. I tend to lose gloves and mittens, but I’m not going to lose these.”
Diego hesitated. “The tree… it kind of reminded me of the one from the scavenger hunt. The one you so bravely climbed.”
“And fell out of.” I brushed my thumb over his cheek. “And you caught me.”
“That scavenger hunt… it was kind of the first time it felt like we were on the same page. You seemed more relaxed with me, and I didn’t yet know about the party, so I wasn’t freaking out on you. It’s a good memory.”
“Yes, it is. Except for that damn tutu. I still don’t get the point of those.”
“Do you think it’s still up in the tree?” he asked, and I laughed.
“It’s probably been made into a bird’s nest by now.”
“A real one,” he agreed. “Not the symbolic kind you had to photograph.”
“Thank you for thinking of me.”
If his skin weren’t on the tan side, he might’ve blushed. “There was a little holiday craft fair in the quad, and I was thinking of you, and then I spotted those. So there we are.”
“I think of you a lot, too.” I set the mittens down on the bed next to me and took his hand in mine.
“Yep,” he said softly, squeezing my fingers. “Still cold.” He drew my palm to his lips, his mouth, and blew warm air on it, then rubbed it with both hands. “Better?”
“Yes,” I said, feeling warm all over, not just my fingers. “You make a pretty good mitten substitute.”
But then I grew more serious.
“I thought about you a lot, too.”
One dark eyebrow arched. “Why did you say that in the past tense?”
His look of mock concern made me smile softly. “I meant before. Even when I was uncomfortable with you. I mean, I wasn’t uncomfortable with you , just the circumstances and the fact that you didn’t remember.”
“I get it, Mia. But that is in the past. Where we are right now makes all of that worth it.”
“I agree. And I hope you’ll still think that after I tell you something.”
“What’s that?”
His arm slipped around me. I would have liked to look him in the eyes, but I wasn’t quite brave enough. So I looked at where he still held my hand in his.
“I love you,” I said softly.
His body stilled, and panic filled me.
“You don’t have to say it back or feel the same way. I just… I just… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have?—”
I started to get up, but he tugged me back down. He waited until I looked up at him, and then he said simply, “I love you, too.”
“Are you sure?” I said, and then stopped. That sounded a little stupid. “Seriously, you don’t have to say it just because…”
I trailed off, trying to stop the rambling. How had Aaron and Cody managed to say this? It was so damn hard.
But the smile Diego gave me, and the warmth in his eyes, made my racing pulse settle down.
“I wanted to tell you that too,” he said, “but we said it was too soon.”
“We?”
“Yeah. Cody, Aaron, and I—we had some beers on the porch the other night and talked about it. About how we all felt it, but we didn’t want to scare you off or overwhelm you, so we promised each other we wouldn’t say it.”
My jaw dropped at that information.
Diego continued on, his arms around me. “So that’s why I didn’t say it first. Don’t tell them I said any at all, okay? I don’t want them to know I went back on my word when they didn’t.”
I bit my lip to keep from commenting on that. I couldn’t decide if it was sweet or funny that each of them had vowed not to say it to me—and then had, anyway.
But that wasn’t what mattered most right now. This gorgeous, kind, wonderful man had just said he loved me, and I sure as hell loved him. I climbed onto his lap, straddling his legs so that I could cup his face in my hands and kiss him.
And as the kiss deepened, his hands running up and down my back, I realized this was the position we’d been in the first time we met, at the party. It hadn’t meant much back then, but now it meant everything.
The three men who loved me meant everything to me.