Chapter 11 Dig A Little Deeper
Dig A Little Deeper
RILEY
My heart beats wildly as I watch him pace.
He’s angrier than I’ve ever seen him, and why?
Because I ignored a phone call? Because I stuck to the ground rules he told me were okay?
Yes, I slipped that night. I won’t blame it on the booze because I wasn’t drunk and I did want it, but I still shouldn’t have done it. Clearly.
“Elias, you should go. Maybe we should just call this quits and I’ll deal with whatever you do to my dorm.”
“Oh, hell no. So now you want me to look stupid? You don’t even know the argument I just had with the guys, made hella excuses for you and now you’re just going to fake break up with me?”
He steps closer with a look of anger and disbelief on his normally beautiful face, his dimples dangerous now, not playful.
Standing up, I square my shoulders even though he’s a foot taller than me.
I won’t cower. “Today, New Year’s Day, what’s the difference?
I’ve come to all your stupid games, I’ve sat on your lap at bonfires and parties and team dinners.
I’ve held your hand, looked at you like I cared.
If our story isn’t selling anymore, it’s your fault, Elias. Not mine.”
“No, it’s yours because it’s fake as fuck.
Everyone can see how stiff you are, especially after how we were at that first party.
I get it, you got me out of your system, but you need to work on your poker face.
It’s like you’re pulling away because you know I’ll pull you in.
We’re magnets, and you hate it, so you twist away trying to repel me, but I won’t let you. You’re mine, remember?”
“I don’t know any such thing,” I scoff. “Why don’t you go tug one out and come back to talk to me when you’re a little less emotional.” I turn away from him, but from the sound of his dark, quiet laugh, that was a mistake.
“You seem to have forgotten how the fuck we got here.”
Suddenly I can hear my moans from that dreadful meeting being abruptly cut off by my scream, and I immediately know what he’s implying.
I’d forgotten all about that video. It was so easy to get swept up in him, in the lie, that it never occurred to me he’d use it. He didn’t seem the type.
And men wonder why women have trust issues.
“So what?” I demand, turning back to face him as I fight tears. “I let you fuck me or you send that video to everyone? It’ll ruin my career before it starts.”
“Or it’ll get your name out there and get you more stories.
Never know.” His jaw ticks. “I didn’t want it to come to this, Riley.
I thought I was good to you, but it’s obvious it wasn’t enough so here we are.
I know this makes me an unforgivable asshole, but I don’t need your forgiveness, I need you to play along and be my goddamn girlfriend until we can call it.
Both of us have our reputation on the line here, not just you. ”
I don’t understand how he could ever compare the two, but I nod anyway.
He won’t change his mind, and I have far bigger things to worry about.
“Fine. You win, Elias. You win. You can do whatever you want to me, I’ll play along.
But just understand to the depths of you that any chance we ever had of this becoming real… just died.”
The fact that he looks bothered by that only annoys me further. “I don’t believe that,” he whispers, stepping in to cup my face. “Don’t you remember how it felt?”
Of course I do. It keeps me up at night wondering if I felt too much for something fake, or if it was all just dopamine released from the thrill of the deception.
Either way, it’s gone now… or I wish it was.
I still feel the butterflies, the twisting in my stomach.
Longing, wishing. Begging to be touched, for him to take it back and just ask me to give him another chance.
“I know how it feels now. What do you want, Eli? You’ve made your point. Now do what you came here to do so I can get back to work.”
He releases a frustrated growl and lifts me up to straddle his lap, then sits on my bed. “I have to mark you. You need to look mine.”
When his lips touch my throat I nearly unravel. I’ve been denying myself too, and apparently for good reason — but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t get to me. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel amazing, or that it doesn’t go straight to my cunt.
God, I think I hate him.
“Just o-one,” I gasp out, digging my nails into his shoulder. “One.”
His hands squeeze my ass harder like he’s afraid I’ll pull away, his desire for me evident underneath me and making it hard to remember what he just did to get us here. But unfortunately for us both I do remember, it just doesn’t change a thing.
Teeth nip, hips grind, and before I know it he’s moved on to the other side to leave more.
And I can’t bring myself to stop him.
Fuck, I hate how good it feels, the way it makes my thighs clench and my breath catch.
The swoop in my stomach from thinking about walking around like this, so dirty and claimed.
The strange little ball of satisfaction forming in my chest knowing he wants me so bad, nothing will stand in his way — not even my denial.
I’ve never been wanted like this. I’ve never been manipulated like this either, but does it count as manipulation when I know exactly what he’s doing?
His growl makes me want to not care. “Fuck, Riley.”
He sounds angry when he says my name, when he roughly grinds his rock-hard cock against my pussy through my shorts. Angry and needy and mine.
“Take it, then,” I snap. “If you want it so fucking bad, take it.”
His body trembles as though he’s fighting to hold himself back, but I feel the moment he breaks before he even stands.
In seconds I’m flat on my back with him looming over me, his pupils blown as he tears at my clothes until I’m bare, and then he’s staring down at me fully clothed. “You’re wet, angry girl.”
When he slaps my soaked pussy I don’t try to deny it. I am, and I’ll blame my traitorous body for that later. Later, once the chemicals recede and I’m standing in front of the mirror, facing what I’ve done, what he’s done. Later, in the dark, when I can’t even hide from myself.
When I’ll have to admit that a part of me, even a small one, likes this side of him — however horrific it may be.
But for now, I lean into it.
“Yeah, I’m wet, Elias. But who said it was for you?”
That gets him to quit holding back. Eli drops his hoodie and tugs off his shirt to throw it over my laptop, his jeans falling to the floor as he joins me on my bed. “I said,” he growls, flipping me over onto my stomach so he can keep me completely at his mercy.
Like I’d be able to fight him, anyway.
“Forgive me if I don’t trust your opinion,” I grunt out, wiggling just enough to make him spank me. Fuck, I wasn’t expecting it — but it was worth it. Very worth it. Hiding a smirk, I wiggle my reddening ass. “Is this what you were after?”
“Yes,” he admits, spreading my cheeks so he can spit on my asshole and then rub the head of his cock in it. For a moment I’m afraid he’s going to fuck me there without any prep, but he slides it down to my entrance and presses the crown inside before I can panic.
Raw.
I was worried about the wrong thing.
No one’s ever fucked me raw. Not once. Not while drunk, sober, not that one time I tried getting high. I’ve never let it happen. Not with anyone.
“Elias!” I gasp, but I can’t bring myself to tell him to pull out. I always wondered, always fantasized, and my imagination didn’t even come close.
I can feel all of him. The head, the veins, every brutal inch that’s nearly too much to take.
“Fuck, you’re so tight.” His forehead drops to my shoulder when he bottoms out, his cock throbbing to show me how good he feels, and when I clench around him his teeth sink into my skin.
And then he starts to move — roughly and unrelenting.
The guy who vowed to show me what other men lack suddenly cares way more about his own pleasure than mine, but the joke’s on him.
I’ve begged guys to fuck me like this. Guys who fell short.
I’m drooling on my pillow when the first orgasm takes me, and the second follows quickly when he shoves himself out of me and rolls me over, his cock slapping down on my clit hard enough to make my whole body twitch, and then he shoves it back inside. “Knew you’d be a slut for it.”
His hand grips my chin hard as he leans in to mark me more, biting and sucking all over my chest while he fucks into me.
I wish I could tell him he’s wrong. That I’m not a slut for anything, least of all him, and I’ll never be his little whore.
But my body is trembling with need. I’m so wet I can hear it, so wound up it feels like a flick could snap me. I’d beg him to keep going if he stopped.
“Screw you,” I whimper out, trying to stop a third, more powerful orgasm. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction, but he leans in and bites my jaw so hard I scream.
“Give it to me, cupcake. Give me all of you.”
I can’t, oh god, I —
He hits a spot inside of me I’d forgotten all about, then pulls out as I squirt fucking everywhere.
“Look at you,” he growls, his fingers reaching down to work me through it until I’m shaking, and then he shoves himself right back inside. “That’s what I fucking thought. Mark me.”
Shocked and trembling, I smack him. It’s an instinct that jolts me more than him, but I feel the pulse of his cock at the lick of pain. “Do it again,” he commands — growls, really — so I let all my anger and confusion come out in a slap that makes his head turn.
“Oh fuck. Oh fuck!”
I feel his cock begin to throb, warning me that he’s about to come, and he seems to have no intentions of pulling out of me this time.
And I have no intentions of letting him.
My legs wrap tightly around his waist as I scratch the hell out of his back, pulling him down to me until I can’t breathe. “Bury it fucking deep.”
“Riley!” he grunts, his body stilling as I feel him flood my pussy over and over until he’s completely spent, and collapsing fully on top of me. “Shit.”
He’s trembling slightly as he leans in to kiss me, all fury and anger fading to something softer.
That’s when I break it. If he wants to hate fuck me, fine. If he wants me to pretend to love him, fine. But I will not and cannot be soft for him, not when I know how we got here.
“Satisfied?” I ask. “Did you get what you wanted?”
“What?” He has the audacity to look confused, like he thought he could fuck me and kiss me and we’d just forget he manipulated me into a corner. “Riley, stop.”
Immediately I don’t feel bad for the reddening I spot on his cheekbone.
I wish I’d hit him harder. “Don’t. You can use my body, my smile, my affection, my words… but you can’t use my heart. It’s not yours to play with.”
Eli pulls out of me and frowns down, his shining, heavy cock hanging between his thighs as he stares at my pussy and the cum I know he sees leaking out of it.
When he reaches out to finger it back inside like I didn’t say anything at all, I let him.
I meant it. He can have my body, just not my heart.
It hurts to think about what this could’ve been as I study the lines of his face, the curls falling on his forehead. Those stunning eyes that seem to go on forever.
But he made his choice, and now I’m making mine.
“You’re welcome to stay, but I was in the middle of an assignment that’s due tomorrow morning. Can I get back to it?”
Slowly, he pulls his fingers out and shoves them into my mouth, his thumb pressing under my chin so I can’t pull away, and then he leans in. “You want me to leave? Say it.”
I bite him hard, smirking when he yanks his hand back. “As I said, I don’t care if you stay or go. I have work to do and Samira will be back any minute. I need to put clothes on.”
Eli releases an impatient growl as he gets to his feet and grabs his pants. “Hurry up and leave a hickey on my neck, and I’ll leave. I can’t just go back with a black eye.”
It’s not a black eye, but it’s definitely a shiner that will stick around for a day or so, and I’m fucking proud of it. It has me almost bouncing as I pull him down and suck a deep, dark mark where his neck meets his collarbone. “Hope it hurt.”
His hands find my hips, squeezing tightly before he steps back entirely and begins to dress. “It hurt more than you think it did.”
He pulls on his hoodie and leaves his shirt behind, so I put it on and barely get my shorts back up before the door opens again and Sam comes back.
If she notices my marks, she doesn’t say anything, and I decide not to start a conversation about them.
At some point during all of that, an idea took hold. I need a good story for class, and Sam’s told me the soccer boys are into shit they shouldn’t be. If he can use me, I can use him too — and in the end, I’ll be the one releasing something that will ruin him.
I just have to play my cards right first.