Chapter 2
Rue
Even though winter break ended last week, it’s been nerve-wracking to be back at Fallbrook Christian Prep.
Not because of anything academics-related, but because of my friends. The strain between me, Meredith, and her boyfriend Carlton is starting to feel too heavy.
With a sigh, I approach the grand, imposing institution I’ve been attending since freshman year. Sometimes, it feels like it’s been longer, and I often wonder how I’m only a junior when I’ve already been through so much here.
The narrow stone corridors feel like home.
Sometimes, they even feel more like home than home does.
But that’s only thanks to the various strangers Mom always has crowding our living room to fund whatever gimmick she’s selling at the time.
Thankfully, she keeps a full-time job as an insurance agent, but I bet if she could, she’d quit to sell whatever product her whims lead her to moment by moment.
I half expect someone to comment on my spill at last night’s basketball game. After all, people have had their eyes on me since Little Birdie posted about me liking Carlton, and I’ve already been getting pity glances like no other. Me falling will probably only add fuel to the fire.
If it weren’t for Little Birdie, I’d just be any other theater girl who doesn’t mind being onstage, pretending to be someone else, but constantly feeling shy in her own skin.
I could move undetected through the halls when I’m Rue, offstage, but enjoy the attention being an actress deserves when I’m in character, onstage.
With an anonymous gossiper posting about me, it’s been impossible.
That’s the worst part about being forced into the light when I’d rather blend like a chameleon—everyone knows my business, and I don’t have the guts to attempt to keep the rumors at bay.
And everyone—literally everyone—knows Carlton didn’t choose me back. Because after moving on from Dot, he picked the next most beautiful girl in our friend group to set his sights on.
Meredith.
I thought he and I had a connection, but it must have been one-sided, despite him being a known flirt. I know he wouldn’t purposely lead me on like that.
As I walk to homeroom, I can’t help but wonder why Little Birdie chose to focus on someone like me in the first place. Sure, I’m in the drama club, and Little Birdie has made it his or her mission to single us out among all the students. But still…I’m hardly the most interesting of the group.
They posted about me, ruined my life, and then disappeared.
I don’t know why I’m even surprised.
A girl bumps me with her shoulder as she passes me. “Sorry,” she mumbles.
I don’t even respond because I’m so used to it. But then I hear her whisper something to her friend, and the name that leaves her mouth catches my attention.
“Did you see how cute Ezra Davis looks today?”
Ezra Davis.
Ugh. It’s like I can’t escape him now that I acknowledged him. Stood a few feet away from him and even made eye contact with him.
I make it to homeroom on time and plop into the closest seat, the plastic chair cold through my tights.
I try as subtly as I can to scan the room for Meredith, since we’re both in here together.
I spot her on the other side of the classroom, staring out the window, and my chest squeezes.
We used to always sit together, but now everything’s a mess, and she can’t stand to be around me.
I’d like to say it’s not fair, but I don’t really blame her.
I can’t imagine how I’d feel if I found out she liked Carlton while I was dating him.
Homeroom is the only time I see her these days, because after the sudden resignation of our drama teacher, Mr. Saltzman, we haven’t even had drama club to connect us.
And I can’t deny it…I miss her. I miss our friendship.
I miss texting her and waiting for her sarcastic, hilarious replies.
I miss filming dances to post on social media with her and Mabel.
I miss shopping with her, because I can always count on her to be truthful about whether or not something flatters me.
I watch as the door opens and Carlton himself walks in. He looks groggy, like he hasn’t slept in a few days, and I can’t help but wonder why that would be. His gaze sweeps the room before it lands on me. Grinning, he takes the seat beside mine like nothing about the last few weeks has changed.
“Hey.” He grins.
“Hey, C.” My voice comes out rickety. I clear my throat. This is the first time he’s talked to me since school started back up, and it makes my stomach swim with shock and nerves. What is Meredith going to think about him talking to me right now? “How was your break?”
“It was cool.” I can tell he wants to say more, but he lets the statement drop off. Whatever he did over break probably involves Meredith, and he must not want to hurt my feelings by letting me in on how much time they spent together.
But then he locks eyes with me, and I can’t help but feel like he’s aware of the pull between us. The pull that’s always been there, even when he was dating Dot. It’s never gone away. But he must not feel it, otherwise he never would have gone for Meredith instead of me as soon as he was single.
“Did you hear about Little Birdie?” he asks.
“Duh. Their disappearing is all anyone talks about these days.”
Carlton grins. “No, not that. The new info.”
“No.” I frown. “What is it?”
“Apparently Little Birdie is still operating the app, even though they’re done being the one to spread gossip, and they just opened it up to the students here.
It’s like a lottery system, though.” He shakes his head like he can’t believe it.
“Whoever signs up has the chance to be the next Little Birdie for three months. They gain access to everything, and then when their time’s up, the app locks them out and moves on to the next person. ”
My head spins.
Little Birdie, opening up access to anyone?
I can’t think of anything worse. “But why? How does that even work? Please tell me you’re kidding.”
“Nope.”
“You’re saying the most influential app at Fallbrook is opening back up and granting access to any rando who signs up?”
“Well, no. It has to be a Fallbrook student. All you have to enter is your name and student ID number. Whoever wins gets a temporary account upgrade to admin. Apparently you can nominate someone, too.” He laughs. “So, watch out, Rue. I might just have to enter your name in.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Oh, please don’t. When does it choose someone?”
“Tomorrow night,” he says. “Check the app if you don’t believe me.”
I hold his gaze for a second longer before taking out my phone. When I pull up the app, I expect to see the same post that’s been up since the beginning of December. The one that says:
It is with heavy wings and a heavier heart that I write this final letter to you, my loyal flock. Yes, you read that right. This is my final farewell to you. I must fly south for the winter, and possibly forever. But take heart—where one birdie leaves, another is sure to arrive.
It has been my finest pleasure to serve you your delicious worms of gossip, straight from my beak to yours. But now my darling fledglings, you must learn to fend for yourselves, retrieve the worm on your own. Your wings are grown and ready.
Yours Truly, always and forever,
Little Birdie
But that post is no longer the most recent item on the timeline. Now, there’s a sign-up form outlining all the same terms Carlton just told me.
There’s about to be a new Little Birdie at Fallbrook.
I text my mom at lunch.
Me
I’m sitting all alone.
Mom
Child, you need to make a new friend. That is unacceptable.
Me
I did. Dot, remember? But now she’s always with Zayne.
Mom
Remind her you still exist, then.
Me
That’s embarrassing.
Mom
Either that, or I march to your school to have lunch with you myself. What’s more embarrassing now?
I groan. Why did I involve my mother again?
It takes me a moment to find Dot among all the other students in the cafeteria. I contemplate standing on one of the benches to give myself some height but shrink away from the idea as soon as it comes. That would draw way too much attention.
But then I see her at a table with her boyfriend, Zayne, and make my way over, tray in hand.
As I walk, I think about how dumb it is that I’m choosing Dot to latch onto, considering she and Zayne got into Underwood Academy, the best acting school in Massachusetts, and will be transferring next year to spend the rest of high school and college there.
She won’t even be here for senior year. And then I’ll be alone again.
Despite being shy, I never thought this would happen to me.
I’ve always been so tight with my friends.
Me, Carlton, and the twins—Meredith and Mabel—have been inseparable since middle school.
I remember being so grateful to have found them after Ezra abandoned our friendship and left me with no one.
Now, as I approach Dot, I can’t help but wonder how I ended up right back where I started.
“Rue!” She brightens when she sees me and scoots over toward Zayne to give me room. “Hey!”
“Hey, Dot.” Relief loosens my stomach at her reaction, and I take the seat next to her. Zayne offers me a friendly wave, too.
“You’re coming tonight, right?” she asks me.
“Tonight?”
“Yeah, to my birthday party. I texted you last week, remember?”
I wince internally. Right. Of course. And here I thought she was starting to forget me when I’m the one who forgot about her. “Yeah, I’ll be there,” I say.
She smiles. “Great. I, uh, hope it won’t be awkward with Meredith and Carlton coming.”
My stomach clenches. Why did she have to mention that right now, in public? As much as I like Dot, she sometimes lacks self-awareness in social situations, so I try not to hold it against her. I clear my throat, trying to sound normal when I answer her. “He’s—I mean, they’re coming?”